Parody Showdown – Part Two of Episode One
Submitted March 2005
Kagome sat down and started to cry at Inuyasha's loss, while Shippo keeled over, "Oh Inuyasha…Waitta minute. What's that?" The bushes behind Kagome rustled slightly, then moved and everyone's favorite priestess stepped out.
"I've come for my soul, girl!" Inuyasha span around, and only one thing ran through his head. 'Kik…yo? I won't lose her again!' he stopped thinking, and started shouting.
"KIKYO!"
"You bitch," Kagome fought with spat at Kikyo, "He's mine! Or don't you remember that you were the one who almost killed him in the FIRST PLACE!" Kagome beamed with pride at coming up with such a retort. Sango and Miroku clapped quietly in the background, surprised at Kagome's volume control. Kikyo cocked her bow at the girl.
"It matters not, insolent wretch, for my love for him has still survived. You should die, just as I did for him." Kikyo gave a little wave of her hair, in an arrogant gesture. Miroku and Sango clapped again, impressed by this comeback as well. Kagome snarled.
"I'll get you, you dead broad," she turned to the half-demon sorrowfully, "Oh, Inuyasha…why?"
"Uh...hello?" Sacocki stood distressed in the background, "I'm still here? What happened to trying to kill me? Pay attention!" he sniffed, upset by Kikyo taking his attention, "I'm all alone. Nobody…uh…hates me."
"Shut the hell up, urchin, nobody cares about your troubles. However, I do care…" he leaned over Sango's shoulder, and stroked her behind. A tension surrounded Sango.
"Miroku!"
"Wha-" the demon slayer knocked him over the head, "Oh…" he replied, and fell down, face first. Sango growled, her stress showing.
"Okay…I really don't like monks…"
"What about me? Do you not like me?" Sacocki piped in.
"Fine. I don't like you either. Kirara!" Kirara came bounding up, growling just like her master.
"Aaww…How touching. A little kitten!" the imp burst out laughing at his own joke.
Author's Note: How pathetic. Sacocki's note: Who are you to say that?
Kirara roared, and transformed swiftly into the larger version of herself. Shippo woke up finally, and Sacocki screamed like a little 3-year old opera singer.
Sacocki's note: Now THAT was pathetic Author's note: You were the one who screamed.
But Shippo being the little one to take action, yelled out. "No, Kirara! Come for me!"
"Ha?" Miroku sat up instantly, "Get away from Sango's cat, you perverted little fox." The monk crossed his arms and retorted in a matter of fact way, "Inuyasha has been looking at her for some time now, anyways. You have no chance." As if to prove his words, Inuyasha turned around, and stared awkwardly at the giant cat.
"What?" Shippo stared heart-broken at Inuyasha and Kirara. Sacocki laughed.
"A cat and a dog?" the little enemy gasped between guffaws…
Sacocki's note: THAT was RIDICULOUS! Guffaws? Author's note: But it was true…
"Fuck off, you pervert! I hate you!" Sango shrieked at Sacocki.
"Good," sighed the urchin.
"Fine! But…Hey! What the fuck are you doing, mutt?" Sango squealed at Inuyasha. The half-demon had started to run after Kirara, giggling like a little girl, and leaving a crying Kikyo, and screaming Kagome behind. Miroku just watched, shaking his head, trying to rid it of some disturbing thoughts about the two demons.
"NO!" squealed Shippo, "A cat and a foxy fox! Leave her be!"
"Ayah!" Sacocki wailed, "You did it again! Stop forgetting to hate me! I thought we were supposed to be fighting? What happ-OW!" Miroku had hit the little babbling idiot with his staff, using it like a baseball bat, whacking him across the meadow.
"We're busy here, Sakoka, or whatever. Can't you see that?" Sacocki sniffed, and yelled an apology from across the clearing. "But my name is Sacocki…" Miroku threw a rock at him.
Kagome and Kikyo had now recovered, and Kagome ran after the priestess with a stick.
"Come back here, you bitch!" she yelled. Kikyo continued to run though.
"Now is not my time to die, girl. Inuyasha, I love you, and don't forget that!" Kagome stopped suddenly.
"Woah," she said, "Talk about Déjà vu."
"Kikyo, don't leave me again!" Inuyasha wailed.
"But I must, love, for the script tells me to, and I wish to mess with Kagome's mind…" Kagome had just sat down and was repeating Déjà vu to herself, but then noticed Inuyasha's comment.
"Aaah? Sit boy!" Inuyasha came crashing to the ground.
Miroku sat down by Sango. "We are all alone, now…" he stroked her bottom again, rubbing without fear. Sango growled even louder this time, and hit him with all she had. Miroku lay splayed on the ground, knocked out by the force.
"You two need to go to anger management class," Sacocki inputted. Sango whacked him too.
Kikyo now took the chance to leave. Walking away silently, she swore to come back again. "Ayah…this is not the time for me to stay. I shall leave now…" And the priestess walked on, to hide in the bushes.
