Disclaimer: I own myself and that's it.
A/N: YAY! I got some reviews! Now I am happy and will try to write a very good chapter! No guarantees. This chapter contains a lot of OOC and may be disturbing to some.
Strange Childhood Memories
Lolly: Welcome to Funniest Middle-earth Videos! I'm your host Lolly!
Audience: *claps*
Lolly: Each person in LOTR has their own past. And tonight we're going to show you the videos of some of their childhoods. While embarrassing them in front of everyone! Here are the hilarious memories of LOTR characters! Roll clip!
****Why Aragorn Never Bathes****
Elrohir: (holding camera) Is he coming?
Elladan: Yes. *gets bucket of soapy water ready*
*child Aragorn covered in mud runs through Rivendell*
Elrond: *chases after Aragorn* Come back here!
Aragorn: AHHHHH! I'm not taking a bath! *leaves trail of mud footprints*
Elrond: You will take a bath like it or- *slips on muddy footprints* *falls* AHHHHHHH!
Aragorn: *laughing*
Elladan: *pours bucket of soapy water on Aragorn*
Aragorn: AHHHHHHH! The clean! It's so clean! *sniffs self* And it's roses! AHHHHH!
********
Lolly: As you can smell, that scarred Aragorn for life. Could it have scarred Elrond for life too?
****That's Disturbing...****
Elladan: (holding camera) Where's ada?
Elrohir: *shrugs* Let's check his room. *goes to Elrond's door and opens it*
Elrond: *wearing one of Arwen's bright pink dresses and too much make-up* I can explain!
Elrohir: *stares in horror* Oh my...
Elladan: *drops camera because he's gone to throw up*
********
Lolly: Uh... That was just wrong... Moving on. What about everyone's favorite hobbit ring bearer?
****A Little Bit of What's to Come****
Bilbo: *giving child Frodo his birthday present* Here you go my lad. I think you'll like this.
Frodo: *opens present and it's a tacky plastic ring on a chain* AHHHHHHH! It's evil! *tosses ring in fireplace*
Gollum: *jumps through window* Preciousss! *jumps in fireplace* It burnsss!
Sam (child): *comes in with stack of gifts for Frodo* Mister Frodo! Run before the flaming witch gets you!
Merry & Pippin (children): *appear* We're having a witch burning!
Gollum: *on fire* Owiesss!
Gandalf: *appears* That's no witch you fool of a Took! *hits Pippin with staff*
********
Lolly: I can't even began to say how many things were wrong with that. *shudders* I can see why they wouldn't want to remember that. Let's only pray that Gimli had a nice memory that actually sticks with the book.
****Who's Who?****
Gimli (child): Dad! There you are! *goes to hug his dad*
Gimli's mom: I'm your mother!
Gimli: Huh?
Gloin: *appears* Here I am son!
Gimli: *realizes for the first time that both of his parents have beards* O.o
********
Lolly: *in shock* There's nothing left I can say about these, um, disturbing memories. Just roll clips!
****Legolas and His First Bow and Arrow Set****
Legolas (child): *aiming arrow on bow to target*
Thranduil: *near target* Go on son! Just aim and fire!
Legolas: *shoots arrow and hits Thranduil in the foot* Uh oh. *runs to his dad*
Thranduil: *curses in Elvish*
Legolas: *a bit taken back* I've never heard you say those words before. How's your foot?
Thranduil: *pulls out arrow* I'm alright Legolas. Tis nothing but a flesh wound. *stares at foot and passes out*
Legolas: *sigh* I hope I didn't inherit those genes.
********
****Growing Up in Rohan****
*children Éowyn and Éomer wrestling*
Éowyn: *has Éomer in a headlock* Say uncle! Wait, um, auntie!
Éomer: Never!
Théodred: *passes by room* What in Middle-earth are you two doing?!
Éowyn: *gets away from Éomer* *pretends to cry* Éomer hit me!
Éomer: Did not! She hit me! See! *shows his uncle his new black eye*
Théodred: Nonsense Éomer. You shouldn't lie and apologize to Éowyn!
Eomer: But-
Théodred: *mean voice* Now.
Éomer: Sorry.
Théodred: Éomer, not only am I telling your parents but you shall have no dessert tonight!
Éomer: But-
Théodred: No buts! *walks away*
Éowyn: *sticks out her tongue*
Éomer: *glares* You're evil.
Éowyn: I know. *grins evilly*
********
****Boromir Needs to Learn What Sharp Means****
Boromir (child): *looks at knife* Faramir, come see this!
Faramir (child): What? *sees knife* Boromir, careful with that. It's sharp. Remember what happen with mom's cutting knife.
Boromir: *not listening* Okay. *takes knife and pretends to fight* *cuts his hand* AHHHHH!
Faramir: Dad! He did it again!
********
****Sauron Was a Child?!****
Sauron (small child flaming eye): Come on guys! You are my servants. You have to do what I say!
Orc #647382: But we've been playing this for days!
Sauron: Guards!
Orc #647382: *gets shot and dies*
Orcs: *all sigh*
Sauron: I spy with my only eye something black!
Orc #893457: Everything is black!
Sauron: Guards!
Orc#893457: *gets shot and dies*
********
Lolly: How can a giant eye be a child? *realizes clips have stopped* Well, thankfully that's all we have for tonight. Join me next time when we have... something funny.
*cheesy music*
