Disclaimer: Don't own a thing except me!


A/N: Since I'll be getting the TTT extended version I've been waiting for I can't decide what I'm doing next. Please vote for next chapter!

TTT bloopers OR Rivendell during the two months before the quest


****For those who read my mental health show: Something went terribly wrong and the story was COMPLETELY erased!!! And so were the back up files!!! I tried very hard to get it back but can't. I may or may not post the fic again. Don't blame me; blame the internet.


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Evil Places and Strange People


Lolly: Welcome to Funniest Middle-earth Videos! I'm your host Lolly!

Audience: *claps*

Lolly: Tonight, we're going to show you what hilarious events went on in evil places by strange people and creatures!

Audience; *claps*

Lolly: In Isengard, Saruman had a lot of spare time. After a hard day of digging up Uruk-hai and creating an army to destroy the world of men Saruman and his minions needed some nice relaxation time. We had our undercover orc, Frank, tape it all! Roll the clip!

****Beauty Parlor****

Saruman: *ordering orcs around* I want those black marble floors so clean that when they see your reflection they crack! *goes to his room and Frank secretly following*

Saruman: *sings to self while doing his fingernails* I feel pretty! Oh so pretty! I feel pretty and witty and gay!

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Lolly: I knew it! No one can have such perfect nails! *remembers camera* And now for some more clips!

****Orcs and Marbles****

Orc 1: *playing marbles with Orc 2*

Orc 3: Look what I found! The marble to beat all marbles! *holds up palantìr*

Orc 1 & 2: *stare in awe*

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****Uruk-ewwww!****

Saruman: *talking to Uruk-hai* Whom do you serve?

Uruk-hai: Peter Jackson?

Saruman: No you fool of an Uruk-hai! *hits Uruk-hai upside head with staff*

Uruk-hai: Ouch! You stole Gandalf's line! Plagiarism!

Saruman: Shut up and clean this mess! You got my mirror clean floors gooey!

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****Dominoes?****

Saruman: *showing off his army to Wormtongue*

Random Uruk-hai: *sneezes and falls back*

*all of the army falls like dominoes*

Saruman: *sighs*

Wormtongue: Think of it this way. You've achieved the new domino record!

Saruman: *puts hands together from fingers* Excellent...

Wormtongue: *raises an eyebrow though he doesn't have any*

********

Lolly: Let's switch from Isengard for a moment and see what's 'up' with the Nazgûl!

****I Believe I Can Fall!****

Nazgûl #4: *riding dragon-like monster* Whoa! This is wicked! Maybe I should give the others a turn... nah!

Nazgûls: *watching #4 from ground* *shoot arrows at #4*

Nazgûl #4: *singing* I believe I can fly! I believe I can touch the sky! *gets shot* AHHHHHH! *lands on ground with a splat*

Nazgûl #9: My turn! *gets shot from other Nazgûl* You know I can't die, right?

Nazgûls: Drat!

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Lolly: Yeah, um, let's see a clip of what's going on in the land where the shadows lie!

Random audience member: Wal-mart?

Lolly: No, Mordor you nordor!

****Saturday Night Karaoke in Mordor****

Orc: And now presenting our master and the greatest evil-doer of all time, Sauron!

Crowd: *cheers because if they don't they'll get shot*

Sauron: *music starts up ("Margaritaville" by Jimmy Buffet starts to play)*


I'm just an eyeball

sittin' on a tower that's really tall

I ain't got a body and I'm wreathed in flame

It gets real boring

when the rain is pouring

and I wonder why I don't go out though I'm made of flame


Wastin' away on the tower Barad-dûr

Lookin' for my lost ring of power

some orcs claim that there's a hobbit to blame

but I think, it's Isildur's fault


The orcs think they're real tough

but they're like marshmallow puffs

I should roast them over my flaming eye

The Nazgûl are flying

everything's dying

In the land of Mordor where the shadows lie


Wastin' away on the tower Barad-dûr

Lookin' for my lost ring of power

some orcs claim that there's a hobbit to blame

but I think, it's probably my fault

Crowd: *cheers*

********

****On the Slopes of Mt. Doom Many, Many, Many Years Ago****

Isildur: *cuts off Sauron's fingers*

Sauron: AHHHHH! My fingers! *blows up and confetti falls everywhere*

Boromir's great, great, great, really great-grandfather: *runs around screaming* AHHHHH! Paper cuts!

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Lolly: So it is genetic. Fascinating... But what happened next?

******Mt. Doom Many, Many, Many Years Ago****

Elrond: Isildur! Destroy it!

Isildur: Why do I have to listen to you? You ain't my momma!

Elrond: *glare* *pushes Isildur in the fire*

Isildur: *falls* AHHHHHHHH!

Elrond: *walks away whistling*

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Lolly: Enough! Stop the clips! I can't take the evil insanity! *to self* Find a happy place, find a happy place... *calms down* Join me next time as we see the either the bloopers of TTT or what really happened in Rivendell during those two months! Vote for which you'd rather see!

*cheesy music*