Disclaimer: Don't own a thing except me!


A/N: Please excuse the last chapter. It was terrible and I apologize. This one's probably worse. I haven't been able to come up with anything funny. Sorry. ^_^;;;


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What Happened in Rivendell


Lolly: Welcome to Funniest Middle-earth Videos! I'm your host Lolly!

Audience: *claps*

Lolly: For those who are idiots and haven't even thought of reading the books *cough* the Fellowship didn't leave Rivendell until 2 months after the Council of Mr. Smith. They left on Christmas!

Random audience member: Santa's Elves!

Lolly: *glares at random audience member* No, you nordor! That's racism!

Audience: O.o

Lolly: Anywho, we had hidden cameras around Rivendell during those 2 months. And you won't believe what we caught! Roll clip!

****Party Wit' Da Hobbits****

Frodo: *break dancing*

Other hobbits: Go shorty! Go, go, go, go, go, go, go shorty! It's your birthday! We gonna party like it's your birthday!

********

****Merry Tries His Luck****

Merry: *talking to Elf* So, what are you doing after the council? I'm hobbit which means I have big feet. If you catch my drift...

Elf: I'm a guy!

Merry: Whoops. Well you all look the same!

********

Lolly: Yeah... That is so wrong.

****Alms to the Poor****

Elrond: *checking money accounts* Glorfindel, when did we start buying $100,000 dollars worth of food? A week?!

Glorfindel: Since those four other hobbits came.

Elrond: Thank the Valar they'll be leaving soon.

Glorfindel: Milord, haven't you read the books? They leave in 2 more months.

Elrond: *in Gollum voice* Stupid fat hobbitsss. Eating all the food. They do not care if we goesss poor! Curse them! We hatesss them!

Glorfindel: O.o *slowly leaving the room*

********

****In the Hall of Fire****

Boromir: *dazed by fire* Must head towards light...

Aragorn: No Boromir! Don't go toward the light!

Boromir: But it's so pretty! I want to touch it. *touches fire* AHHHHH!!!

Aragorn: *mumbles to self* It's like taking care of a 2 year old. I am not going through this for the whole journey.

********

Lolly: *mumbles* What an idiot. Let's now see what's up with everyone's favorite Elf!

****Artificial Dumbness****

Legolas: *in bathroom dying his hair blonde* *humming "Bootylicious"*

Frodo: *accidently walks in*

Legolas: Ahhhh!

Frodo: *runs out of bathroom* *speaking in tape recorder* Day 18: Suspicions of Legolas dying his hair confirmed. Can no longer blame his dumbness on his hair color.

Legolas: *from distance* I heard that! I'm an Elf!

Frodo: *speaking into tape recorder* Note to self: speak quieter.

********

****Run, Legolas! Run!****

Boromir: *walks along* Legolas, what are you doing in that tree?

Legolas: Hiding from fangirls. They won't stop hunting me!

Boromir: I don't see any now. Come on out. I'm on my way to visit Glorfindel in the healers.

Legolas: Why is he in the healers?

Boromir: Something about Arwen stealing his horse. Come on.

Legolas: *jumps out of tree*

Fangirls: There he is! Get him!

Legolas: Not again. *runs off*

Fangirls: *chase after him*

Boromir: *mutters* Stupid Elves stealing all the fangirls. And other people's horses!

********

****It's Raining Elves!****

Sam: *puts hands on top of railing*

Elf: *walks by and trips over railing* *falls* AHHHHHHHH!!!

Sam: *shouts down* It's Peter Jackson's doing! Blame him!

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****A Little Too Much****

Pippin (drunk): Wow! A giant mushroom! *runs over to a stools*

Merry (drunk): Where?! *passes out*

Sam (drunk): Mr. Frodo, I'd like to tell you something.

Frodo (drunk): *mistakes Sam for loaf of bread* Yes, Mr. Talking-loaf-of-bread.

Sam: I love you!

Frodo: I love you too, loaf of bread!

Pippin: *to stool* Marry me?

Stool: ........

Pippin: Why won't you answer me?!

Stool: ......

Pippin: That's how you're going to be?! After all we've been through?!

Stool: .......

Elf: *takes stool from Pippin*

Pippin: You're leaving me?! I thought what we had was special! *sobs*

Frodo: Bread loaf! *bites Sam's leg*

Sam: AHHHHH! Get it off! Get it off! Get the bug off me!

Merry: *still passed out*

Elf: I don't think hobbits can handle Elven wine. *other Elves nod*

Other Elf: Neither can Mirkwood Elves.

Legolas (drunk): *stumbles by* *singing* Yo ho, yo ho! A pirate's life for me! *passes out*

********

Lolly: It always ends up with drunken hobbits. Anywho, let's take a look at the movie-deprived-but-still-in-the-book characters roaming Rivendell.

****Glorfindel's Revenge****

Glorfindel: *drawing on paper* This will teach that horse-stealing witch who's boss.

Legolas: *walks by* Did you say something Glorfindel?

Glorfindel: No!

Legolas: *quickly walks away* I guess not being in the movie really had some bad effects. Too bad he wasn't in the movie, he'd probably get rid of some of these fangirls.

Fangirls: Leggy! There he is!

Legolas: Why me? *runs off*

Fangirls: *chase after Legolas*

********

****I Have No Sons****

Elladan: Ada! Wait! *runs up to Elrond with Elrohir running beside him*

Elrohir: Ada, Arwen just knocked out Glorfindel and stole his horse!

Elrond: I'm sorry, you must be confused. I have no sons.

Elrohir: *in shock*

Elladan: Yes you do! Don't you remember Elladan and Elrohir?!

Elrond: *flips through script* You're not in the script.

Elrohir: But we're your sons!

Elrond: I told you, I have NO sons!

Elladan & Elrohir: AHHHHHHH!

********

Lolly: *sniff* Poor hott twins. But not all times during those two months were bad for the hottie sons of Elrond.

****Remake of Childhood Memories****

Elladan: Quick! Get the bucket! He's coming this way!

Aragorn: *walks down halls of Rivendell while whistling*

Elladan: NOW!

Elrohir: *dumps bucket of soapy water on Aragorn*

Aragorn: AHHHHHHH! Not again! I feel so clean! *sniffs self* And it's lilacs with a hint of lemon! AHHHHHHH! *runs and jumps in pile of dirt* *calms down* Dirt feel good. Dirt make Aragorn happy. *smiles*

Elrohir: I hate to think that is going to be the future king of Gondor.

********

Lolly: Some things never change. Like Elrond for instance.

****Another Disturbing Memory Remade****

Aragorn: *walks into Elrond's room*

Elrond: *dressed in one of Arwen's purple dresses and a lot of make-up* Eek!

Aragorn: *gasp* *runs away* This has been the worst day of my life! First a bath and now THIS! *shudders*

********

Lolly: I'm sorry we had to see that too. But things only got worse for Aragorn later that day.

****Arwen's Purple Dress****

Arwen: *walks up to Aragorn* Aragorn, do you know what happened to my purple dress? It's all stretched out, see?

Aragorn: *remembers that was the same dress Elrond wore* *turns green*

Arwen: Aragorn?

Aragorn: *goes to throw up*

Arwen: What's his problem?

********

****Last Day in Rivendell****

Pippin: Merry Christmas everyone!

Everyone else: O.o

Elrond: *whispers to Gandalf* I don't think letting Pippin go on the journey is a good thing. He seems mentally unstable.

********

Lolly: That's it! But where's all the good stuff?! Like the Elves beating up the Dwarves!

Crew member: We lost it.

Lolly: You lost it?!

Crew member: Yeah, apparently Frodo went temporarily insane and mistook the whole stack of videos for rings and threw them in the fire.

Lolly: There goes the ratings.

Crew member: Yep.

Lolly: *sighs* Join me next time, if our show isn't cancelled by then, when we hopefully watch something funnier then this junk.

*cheesy music*