Disclaimer: Don't own a thing except me!
A/N: Please excuse the last chapter. It was terrible and I apologize. This one's probably worse. I haven't been able to come up with anything funny. Sorry. ^_^;;;
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What Happened in Rivendell
Lolly: Welcome to Funniest Middle-earth Videos! I'm your host Lolly!
Audience: *claps*
Lolly: For those who are idiots and haven't even thought of reading the books *cough* the Fellowship didn't leave Rivendell until 2 months after the Council of Mr. Smith. They left on Christmas!
Random audience member: Santa's Elves!
Lolly: *glares at random audience member* No, you nordor! That's racism!
Audience: O.o
Lolly: Anywho, we had hidden cameras around Rivendell during those 2 months. And you won't believe what we caught! Roll clip!
****Party Wit' Da Hobbits****
Frodo: *break dancing*
Other hobbits: Go shorty! Go, go, go, go, go, go, go shorty! It's your birthday! We gonna party like it's your birthday!
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****Merry Tries His Luck****
Merry: *talking to Elf* So, what are you doing after the council? I'm hobbit which means I have big feet. If you catch my drift...
Elf: I'm a guy!
Merry: Whoops. Well you all look the same!
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Lolly: Yeah... That is so wrong.
****Alms to the Poor****
Elrond: *checking money accounts* Glorfindel, when did we start buying $100,000 dollars worth of food? A week?!
Glorfindel: Since those four other hobbits came.
Elrond: Thank the Valar they'll be leaving soon.
Glorfindel: Milord, haven't you read the books? They leave in 2 more months.
Elrond: *in Gollum voice* Stupid fat hobbitsss. Eating all the food. They do not care if we goesss poor! Curse them! We hatesss them!
Glorfindel: O.o *slowly leaving the room*
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****In the Hall of Fire****
Boromir: *dazed by fire* Must head towards light...
Aragorn: No Boromir! Don't go toward the light!
Boromir: But it's so pretty! I want to touch it. *touches fire* AHHHHH!!!
Aragorn: *mumbles to self* It's like taking care of a 2 year old. I am not going through this for the whole journey.
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Lolly: *mumbles* What an idiot. Let's now see what's up with everyone's favorite Elf!
****Artificial Dumbness****
Legolas: *in bathroom dying his hair blonde* *humming "Bootylicious"*
Frodo: *accidently walks in*
Legolas: Ahhhh!
Frodo: *runs out of bathroom* *speaking in tape recorder* Day 18: Suspicions of Legolas dying his hair confirmed. Can no longer blame his dumbness on his hair color.
Legolas: *from distance* I heard that! I'm an Elf!
Frodo: *speaking into tape recorder* Note to self: speak quieter.
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****Run, Legolas! Run!****
Boromir: *walks along* Legolas, what are you doing in that tree?
Legolas: Hiding from fangirls. They won't stop hunting me!
Boromir: I don't see any now. Come on out. I'm on my way to visit Glorfindel in the healers.
Legolas: Why is he in the healers?
Boromir: Something about Arwen stealing his horse. Come on.
Legolas: *jumps out of tree*
Fangirls: There he is! Get him!
Legolas: Not again. *runs off*
Fangirls: *chase after him*
Boromir: *mutters* Stupid Elves stealing all the fangirls. And other people's horses!
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****It's Raining Elves!****
Sam: *puts hands on top of railing*
Elf: *walks by and trips over railing* *falls* AHHHHHHHH!!!
Sam: *shouts down* It's Peter Jackson's doing! Blame him!
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****A Little Too Much****
Pippin (drunk): Wow! A giant mushroom! *runs over to a stools*
Merry (drunk): Where?! *passes out*
Sam (drunk): Mr. Frodo, I'd like to tell you something.
Frodo (drunk): *mistakes Sam for loaf of bread* Yes, Mr. Talking-loaf-of-bread.
Sam: I love you!
Frodo: I love you too, loaf of bread!
Pippin: *to stool* Marry me?
Stool: ........
Pippin: Why won't you answer me?!
Stool: ......
Pippin: That's how you're going to be?! After all we've been through?!
Stool: .......
Elf: *takes stool from Pippin*
Pippin: You're leaving me?! I thought what we had was special! *sobs*
Frodo: Bread loaf! *bites Sam's leg*
Sam: AHHHHH! Get it off! Get it off! Get the bug off me!
Merry: *still passed out*
Elf: I don't think hobbits can handle Elven wine. *other Elves nod*
Other Elf: Neither can Mirkwood Elves.
Legolas (drunk): *stumbles by* *singing* Yo ho, yo ho! A pirate's life for me! *passes out*
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Lolly: It always ends up with drunken hobbits. Anywho, let's take a look at the movie-deprived-but-still-in-the-book characters roaming Rivendell.
****Glorfindel's Revenge****
Glorfindel: *drawing on paper* This will teach that horse-stealing witch who's boss.
Legolas: *walks by* Did you say something Glorfindel?
Glorfindel: No!
Legolas: *quickly walks away* I guess not being in the movie really had some bad effects. Too bad he wasn't in the movie, he'd probably get rid of some of these fangirls.
Fangirls: Leggy! There he is!
Legolas: Why me? *runs off*
Fangirls: *chase after Legolas*
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****I Have No Sons****
Elladan: Ada! Wait! *runs up to Elrond with Elrohir running beside him*
Elrohir: Ada, Arwen just knocked out Glorfindel and stole his horse!
Elrond: I'm sorry, you must be confused. I have no sons.
Elrohir: *in shock*
Elladan: Yes you do! Don't you remember Elladan and Elrohir?!
Elrond: *flips through script* You're not in the script.
Elrohir: But we're your sons!
Elrond: I told you, I have NO sons!
Elladan & Elrohir: AHHHHHHH!
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Lolly: *sniff* Poor hott twins. But not all times during those two months were bad for the hottie sons of Elrond.
****Remake of Childhood Memories****
Elladan: Quick! Get the bucket! He's coming this way!
Aragorn: *walks down halls of Rivendell while whistling*
Elladan: NOW!
Elrohir: *dumps bucket of soapy water on Aragorn*
Aragorn: AHHHHHHH! Not again! I feel so clean! *sniffs self* And it's lilacs with a hint of lemon! AHHHHHHH! *runs and jumps in pile of dirt* *calms down* Dirt feel good. Dirt make Aragorn happy. *smiles*
Elrohir: I hate to think that is going to be the future king of Gondor.
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Lolly: Some things never change. Like Elrond for instance.
****Another Disturbing Memory Remade****
Aragorn: *walks into Elrond's room*
Elrond: *dressed in one of Arwen's purple dresses and a lot of make-up* Eek!
Aragorn: *gasp* *runs away* This has been the worst day of my life! First a bath and now THIS! *shudders*
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Lolly: I'm sorry we had to see that too. But things only got worse for Aragorn later that day.
****Arwen's Purple Dress****
Arwen: *walks up to Aragorn* Aragorn, do you know what happened to my purple dress? It's all stretched out, see?
Aragorn: *remembers that was the same dress Elrond wore* *turns green*
Arwen: Aragorn?
Aragorn: *goes to throw up*
Arwen: What's his problem?
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****Last Day in Rivendell****
Pippin: Merry Christmas everyone!
Everyone else: O.o
Elrond: *whispers to Gandalf* I don't think letting Pippin go on the journey is a good thing. He seems mentally unstable.
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Lolly: That's it! But where's all the good stuff?! Like the Elves beating up the Dwarves!
Crew member: We lost it.
Lolly: You lost it?!
Crew member: Yeah, apparently Frodo went temporarily insane and mistook the whole stack of videos for rings and threw them in the fire.
Lolly: There goes the ratings.
Crew member: Yep.
Lolly: *sighs* Join me next time, if our show isn't cancelled by then, when we hopefully watch something funnier then this junk.
*cheesy music*
