Kitty: AAH! Good to be back! I went to Goodletsville in Nashville for Christmas.

Chapter Five

Caught Bloody Handed

"Oh! Look! It's Teen Titans!" exclaimed girl with black hair and large navy eyes.

"Oh, wow." The blonde flipped her hair over her shoulder and continued walking.

"Tanya...are you ever going to lighten up about it?" sighed a black haired boy his arms behind his head and a briefcase backpack dangling from his hands.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Tanya snapped. Tanya's blue eyes sparked.

She wore the same sailor outfit as the black haired girl. A black pleated skirt that fell to their knees. It went with a short white shirt with short sleeves and black stripes around the end of the sleeves. A black handkerchief was tied under the collar and knotted over the breast. A crest with a black G surrounded by an oval and with wings was on the breast pocket.

"Brian, just leave her be." The girl with black hair said softly.

"Okay, Rae, I just don't like how's she's still angry at Chris for PURSUING his DREAMS." Brian told Raven, making his voice loud on purpose. Tanya ignored him. Raven's hand fell on his sleeve.

The boys' uniform for Gotham City High was had all black pants and a high collar, long-sleeved jacket over short-sleeved white shirt. The badge on the girls' pocket was also on the boys', only on the white shirt underneath.

Brian looked down at Raven and grinned, green eyes dancing. She smiled back.

"Come on, lovebirds, before I puke. We're going to be late if you keep exchanged gooey smiles." Tanya tossed over her shoulder. Raven blushed and lowered her head as Brian frowned.

"Don't be such a bitch, Tanya." Brian called back to her. Tanya flipped him off with a wink.

"She's right. We should be hurrying. We'll be late." Raven murmured.

"Whatever. Let's go." Brian jogged to the school entrance and Raven quickly followed.

"As you all know, your old classmates, now called the Teen Titans, just released their first album. It's sales sky rocketed and their song 'Superhero' got in the top five in the hit list!" announced their teacher. All the students cheered.

"How about we have a party to celebrate them?" Brian asked jumping up.

"YEAH!"

"I have a better idea. They're coming to town for their first concert. Maybe the principle can pull some strings and we can invite them here, too." Ms. Nakano smiled.

"GO, MS. NAKANO!" Tanya and Raven were the only ones who didn't whoop.

"I don't see what the big deal is. It's just one CD." Tanya said leaning back in her chair.

"But they're our friends." Raven replied softly pulling out her bento box. Brian pulled up a chair and turned it around to sit with his legs on either side of the back of the chair. He grabbed a miniature rice ball and popped it in his mouth.

"Can't you bring your own lunch?" sneered Tanya.

"Can't you bring a new personality?" Brian sneered right back.

"It's okay. I bring extra just for Brian." Raven put in lowly.

"Why? He's just a mooch."

"And you're just a bi-"

"Brian." Raven interrupted quickly. Brian ducked his head and grabbed another piece of food.

"Anyway, I...I..." Brian trailed off blushing and quickly stuffed his mouth again when Raven looked up at him.

"Let me guess, you're about to try again for a date and get knocked down flat?" Tanya taunted.

"N-no!" Brian stammered he got up quickly, "I need to go pee." He ran off.

"Ew. Too much information." Tanya grimaced.

"I wish you'd stop that." Raven muttered.

"What? You're going to turn him down anyway. You always do." Tanya shrugged digging into her noodles with relish.

"It's not like I don't want to go with him." Raven whispered softly blushing.

"You blush too much. And what's stopping you from saying yes? Besides little ol' me?" Tanya quickly amended with a grin. Raven glanced away, her blush gone.

"Nothing." Tanya frowned in thought at Raven's pale, sad face.

"Eat up, little sis." Tanya urged using her nickname for her long time friend.

"Okay..."

"I'll back off for now, okay?" Tanya said after a while. Raven looked up confused. "Interfering with you and Brian. Only if you back off about Chris." Tanya waved her chopsticks in front of her nose.

"Sure." Raven smiled a small smile when the Ms. Nakano entered.

"Time for Algebra II." she announced happily. The class groaned putting away lunch boxes.

Raven had Brian walked home together and Tanya was left behind forGeology Club. She walked alone through downtown. She stopped in front of the music store and gazed through the window.

A poster of a trio, each with an instrument, posed with an explosive green background. Her hand lifted and fell onto the face of the drummer grinning widely at her. She turned away abruptly as her eyes pricked.

"The concert is this weekend." Tanya said suddenly. Raven and Brian looked up.

They were lounging in Tanya's room that Sunday. It had a western theme and a large bed. She was up on her bed painting her toenails idly as the two on the floor fighting over the manga scattered on the floor. Brian blanched.

"So? I thought you weren't going?" Brian muttered.

"I'm not."

"Or didn't care?" Brian added. Tanya glared at her toes.

"I don't. Shut up, brat." Tanya snapped.

"Brian, don't. She promised to stop messing with you about asking me out of we left her alone about Chris." Raven reminded him. Brian blushed and looked away. He clenched his eyes shut.

"About that...I...will you-"

"I have to go!"

"Go with me?" Brian opened his eyes and blinked. Raven was gone. "Where'd she go?"

"To throw herself in the lake." Tanya said. She rolled her eyes when he took her seriously. "She went home. It's three." She jerked her head towards the clock.

"I wonder she always leaves then?"

"Because her dad comes home at five and she needs time to get home and cook dinner." Tanya blew on her nails.

"Why haven't we ever been to her house?"

"...Um...Let's see if I can get this out right. She says because she's lives alone with her father the house isn't always clean and she doesn't want us to see her their messes." Tanya answered.

"But- my family of twelve keep my house a mess and you come to my house all the time. I doubt Raven makes messes anyway. Maybe her dad's a slob and she's embarrassed." Brian wondered.

"Whatever, it's none of our business." Tanya stated firmly. "At least, unless she tells us. So, when you gonna get the balls to ask her again?" Tanya teased.

"Go to the seventh layer of hell." Brian snapped. Tanya laughed.

Raven opened the door and slid inside quickly getting to the kitchen. She started boiling water and pulling out pans and ingredients when a door opened. Her pale face got several shades paler, but she kept going. Her hands shook as footsteps came nearer.

"Raven..." whispered a voice lashing like a whip. She looked up and met black eyes.

"Yes, father?"

"Why isn't dinner ready?"

"You're home early. I wasn-AH!" Raven fell to the floor, her head hitting the stove. A large bruise formed on her face.

"Don't make excuses! I was fired, again!" the tall man shouted.

"If you didn't drink so much, you wouldn't get fired." Raven murmured. She cried out as his fingers dug into her scalp, pulling her to her feet by her shoulder-length black hair.

"Are you talking back?" He snarled into her face. His breath stank of cheap sake.

"Just stating the truth." Raven whispered her eyes meeting his.

"I'll teach you to talk back to me!" He screeched dragging her out of the kitchen.

"NO! Stop it! Please! I'm sorry! Don't do it again." Raven cried out desperately.

She dug her nails into the carpet and bit her lip. The walls of her apartment were thin and anybody could hear the screams and thuds, but she learned long ago that nobody cared. She cried out as he threw her against the coffee table. His large hand grabbed her skirt and tore it away. Fingers dug into her skin and her eyes blanked as his hot breath filled her nose and skimmed over her cold cheek. Her body jerked in pain, his animal like pants in her ear. She dimly felt blood run down her thigh again.

Water boiled over, hissing as it hit the hot burner. Raven walked slowly into the kitchen, her eyes unseeing, her skirt pulled back on. Her socks scuffed over the linoleum as she looked down at the boiling water. She looked down to see red drops hit the floor and staining her socks. Suddenly an overwhelming rage filled her seeing those red drops, hearing the water hiss.

She grabbed the hot handle of the stainless steel pot. Without a noise she dropped it. The burning hot water splashed over her feet and her skirt was splattered. She heard a grunt and turned. Her father lay passed out on the floor of the living room. His pants still around his knees. Her whole being was filled with disgust, hatred, and fear of the sad, drunken man.

Raven picked up the pot and started what she left off, ignoring her burns.

"Wow, can you believe it? A famous band is coming to our town!" exclaimed a junior high schooler excitedly.

"Isn't Robin sooo cute?" squealed the other girl.

Tanya huffed irritable as the younger girls ran by. Brian snickered and Raven smiled softly.

"Don't they know Robin and Flare are in an item, since like...kindergarten?" Tanya rolled her eyes.

"Obviously not." Brian replied.

"Even if they did, it doesn't matter. They're stars and out of their reach forever. They can daydream about stars without really wanting to be with the stars." Raven explained lowly.

"Yeah, guess you're right." Tanya smiled at her and then frowned. "What happened to your leg?"

"I was boiling water and was daydreaming at the same time. Stupid me, I grabbing the pot while it was still hot and dropped it in surprise and it splashed all over my legs." Raven stared down at her hands that tightened involuntarily on the handle of her briefcase.

"Are you okay?" Brian asked concerned. His hand dropped on her shoulder and she flinched.

"Raven?" Tanya's voice snapped like a whip.

"What? Sorry. You startled me, Brian." Raven smiled up at Brian. Neither friend looked convinced. "We're going to be late if you two keep staring at me. I'm fine." Her hand touched Brian's.

"You're right." Tanya turned quickly and walked away briskly, her face dark in thought. Brian's finger laced through Raven's and she squeezed his hand with a smile.

"I'm fine." Raven repeated. Brian smiled back and they kept on walking.

Tanya sighed. Once again she was walking home alone. Of course, it gave her time to think about Raven uninterrupted. Her smaller, paler friend had been quiet and reserved ever since she met her...but... her quietness had always made Tanya uneasy. That was why she was almost always seen with Raven. She felt an unnatural urge to protect her. Probably, the same urge had brought Brian to Raven.

She had been a bit sharp this morning when she saw Raven flinch away from Brian. She'd seen her flinch away from other boys, even from Chris and Robin, but never Brian. Raven truly loved her protective idiot. Tanya wasn't an idiot like Brian. She had read a lot of books. Many books for teenagers nowadays were about drugs, suicide, and...rape...and many of the heroines in those books...flinched-

"No. I'm just being stupid. Raven wouldn't keep that from us, 'specially Brian, and he couldn't keep his mouth shut if you sewed it shut." Tanya thought out loud, "I mean, she would, wouldn't she?" Tanya whispered.

She stopped as green caught her eye. Her hand rose and touched the grinning face of the drummer once again.

"Chris, I need you. I'm so confused. I need your sound advice right now." Tanya's eyes pricked once more and his brown face blurred.

"Glad to know I'm missed. Last I heard you hated me." said a voice to Tanya's side. She jumped and squeaked.

"Ch-chr-" A large brown hand descended over her mouth.

"No matter how much I want to hear you talk to me without hatred in your tone, don't say my name." A grin identical to the one in the poster shined in his face. Her hand grabbed her wrist and threw it away.

"You jerk! How dare you! What are you doing here?" Tanya yelled at him. Chris raised his hands.

"The concert, remember?" Chris hissed. He wore large sunglasses, dreadlocks, and baggy clothes hid his large quarterback frame.

"That's right." Her blue eyes gleamed. Chris began to sweat. "You're in that concert-"

"Tanya, please-"

"The Teens Titans, right? Oh, yes, you're CHRIS! THE FAMOUS DRUMMER OF TEEN TITANS! Silly me! How could I forget?" Tanya grabbed his wig and pulled it off along with his sunglasses. "Hmm, maybe that's why. You're bald." Tanya grinned mercilessly as teen girls shrilled around him. She snapped open his sunglasses and stuck out her tongue with a wink.

"Damn you, blondie!" Chris shouted high-tailing it away.

Tanya snickered. She tossed the wig in the trash and slipped on the sunglasses. She grabbed her fallen briefcase that she dropped when Chris had startled her. She snickers turned to full-blown laughter. By the time she got to the end of the block however, tears were falling down her face.

"I hate you, Chris." she whispered.

Raven turned towards the door startled. She looked at the clock.

"Four forty-two...I hope it won't take long." Raven muttered.

She walked to the door and opened it.

"Hiyo, friend!"

"Flare? Robin?" Raven squeaked.

"The one and only...well, two and only." Robin agreed with a grin.

His black hair had grown and he tied it back in a spiky rattail. He was tall, lean, and light blue eyes shined in his handsome face. Flare had her carroty-red hair streaked hydrant-red for an eye-popping affect and it was cut short in the back, long on the sides and had uneven bangs. Her grass eyes were lined in dark purple and she was wearing dark purple lipstick. For some reason, she still looked really cool.

"WOW! You guys are here early for the concert aren't you?" Raven said circling them. "You've changed so much."

"As have you." Flare's happy face was sad. "You look so much paler than I remember. And you're so skinny. Why are you bandaged, friend?"

"I dropped boiling water it splashed on my leg. I'll be fine, I am fine." Raven smiled.

"Flare's right. You're so much sadder now."

"My father's...having a hard time right now. We're tight on money. That's all. You should get going. My dad's often tired and doesn't like me having company over after his work hours. Shoo, shoo. Go get ready for your big concert." Raven pushed at them playfully with a smile.

"If you say so, friend." Flare bit her lip.

"Oh, yeah, we'll be doing a special concertat Gotham High. Maybe we'll call on somebody to sing one her beautiful secret songs." Robin teased. Raven flamed red.

"You wouldn't! I sing so horribly!" Raven protested.

"No, you don't! You sing better than me, just softer." Flare said. Raven blushed.

"Oh, just go!" Raven exclaimed.

"See ya, Raven!" The two waved and Raven quickly and back inside.

Please, please, please, don't let him see them. Or don't let him recognize them! Raven prayed silently. She went quickly the kitchen and put his dinner on his plate and quickly fixed hers. The door opened and she started to hurriedly clean up.

"Is dinner ready?"

"Yes, father." Raven dried off her hands and grabbed his plate. He looked at it and snatched it. She flinched as it crashed into a wall.

"You had friends over. Those famous freaks." He snarled.

Raven felt the same rage fill her as yesterday. Usually she was quiet and meek, agreeing with everything. But the last week or so, she started to speak up in the worst moments. Saul Grant, her father, was a vicious, disgusting drunkard. Because of him, she was pale, because of him, she was sad, because of him her songs and poems were filled with darkness, and because of him...her mother died. Her navy blues flamed.

"They aren't freaks." she whispered.

"Why? Why are talking back again? Do you want me to hurt you?" Saul growled grabbing her upper arm painfully.

"You're going to anyway, murderer." Raven whispered. She cried out as her back slammed against the counter in the same spot she had slammed into the coffee table yesterday.

"Don't you say that, you little bitch!" She bit her lip until it bled as he repeatedly slammed her into the counter. "Are going to talk back now?" He demanded. She glared up at him.

"Murderer. You killed her. I won't forgive you ever." She spat fiercely.

"Damn you!" She was thrown to the floor and once gain his hands ripped at her.

"Is that all you can do? Curse and pin me to the floor? Where's the imagination in that?" Raven taunted. What am I doing? Raven thought amazed at her gall...or stupidity.

"I'm going to make you scream!"

"You're going to make me puke." Raven retorted harshly. His hand slapped her mouth and she felt the linoleum as her clothes were torn away.

A while later, his foot collided with her stomach. She curled into a ball with a grunt. Food splattered over her body as he up-ended her dinner. The plate broke into large pieces next to her face as he dropped it, too. His footsteps walked away. Her eyes clenched. Her clothes were in tatters around her and blood colored the dirty white floor.

"Raven! You're face!" Tanya cried. Raven looked up. Her mouth was swollen and her bottom lip cut.

"I'm okay. Some punks tried to mug me when I went shopping." Raven grinned, "I kind of deserved it. I chewed them out verbally when I should've just handed over my change."

"What? You're the victim! Did you go to police? What about your dad?" Brian exclaimed.

"What happened to me is not what I would discuss with the police." Raven looked away.

"Raven... did they rape you-"

"Shut up, Tanya, and mind your own business." Raven snapped.

"But if they did, you need to see a doctor...what if you get pregnant-" Tanya was interrupted by Raven's laugh.

"Rae...?" Brian whispered.

"No danger, Tan, nothing like that could ever happen." Raven assured her still laughing.

"Raven, why are you laughing like that? It's creepy." Tanya whispered.

Raven just continued walking laughing fanatically.

"Okay, coward...today's Friday. Tomorrow's the concert...just do it. I'm mean, it's not like it's some band where we don't know the members. They're our friends. She'll come then, right?" Brian shook his head, "Just ask her, man."

"Giving yourself a pep talk?" Robin asked. Brian jumped high into the air and squeaked.

"You jerk! Make noise when you sneak up on people!" Brian exclaimed.

"That defeats the purpose." Robin pointed out.

"True...anyway, I have to ask Raven to the concert. See ya." Brian spun around.

"She won't say yes." Brian stopped and turned back around.

"Why not? I mean...I think she likes me...she smiles at me a lot and...and stuff." Brian blushed and pushed his two index fingers together nervously.

"She likes you, but she won't say yes." Robin repeated.

"That's stupid. Why not?"

"Because she doesn't like boys. Haven't you noticed? I've known her longer than you and she flinches."

"Yeah, well, she hasn't with me! Well, only once...but then she held my hand...she said I startled her." Brian confessed hesitantly.

"She's a practiced liar. She won't let you go any farther than holding hands."

"Of course not, you perv! She's not like that! And don't talk about her like that!" Brian shouted. He snorted, stomping away. "I'll show him...I know she'll say yes." He clenched a ticket in his fist.

"YES! Time for the concert!" cried out a fellow classmate as a bell rung. Everybody herded out excitedly talking over one another.

"Tanya...Tanya? Where's Tanya?" Raven looked around confused.

"Rae! Let's go!" Brian called over the mass of people. Raven frowned, but went to him.

Tanya clenched her fist. She stood outside the front of he school, the assembly in the back.

"I can't...he left me...I can't just...forgive and forget...I loved him...and he left me." Tanya whispered fiercely. "I need to...I need to help Raven...who cares about him?" Tanya fell hard onto the cold cement, her finger bouncing up and down in sync with the drums pounding through the school.

"That was awesome! They've gotten so much better since we last heard them!" Brian proclaimed.

"Haven't you heard their CD yet?" Raven asked accusingly.

"Of-of course." Brian stammered. Raven poked him in the side.

"You're a bad liar." She's a practiced liar.

"Rae...I need to ask you something." Brian said abruptly, shaking his head clear of that thought.

"Yeah?" Raven turned surprised when he grabbed her wrist.

"Will...will you go the concert with me? I bought tickets...it'll go to waste...if you don't come." Brian closed his eyes, his face to the ground. Raven blinked.

"I can't...my father..."

"But they're you're friends! Surely he'd want you to support your friends."

"You don't know my father." Raven whispered, her own head falling.

"I spent all my money on these. I...I want to be with you, Rae. Please, don't turn me down again. I...I lo-o-love you." Brian stammered out, his face flaming.

Raven felt her world crashing to pieces around her. His fingers seemed to burn into her skin, racing all along her body. Her heart felt crushed under the weight of those words. Greens eyes met hers and tears slowly filled her eyes obscuring her vision.

"I...I'll come...no matter what. I'll be there...we'll be there together, I promise." Raven murmured.

"Really?"

"Yes...I don't know...but...I think I love you, too, I just don't understand." Raven reached slowly for his face. "Will you wait for me to understand what it means...to love?" Raven asked desperately.

"Yeah. I'll wait." Brian nodded. He smiled as cool fingers touched his cheek.

"Thank you." Raven pulled away and ran away, her tears finally falling.

How can he love me? Love...love is painful...love only hurts and distorts all reason. But...I don't fill pain when I'm with him. Does he feel pain with me? She gasped as her heart throbbed painfully. Maybe...it's a good kind of pain...like what I'm feeling now? A tight, overwhelming, utterly, sweet pain that fills every part of you. Maybe...real love is like that?

"Why are you late?" Saul growled. Raven glared at him through her tears.

"I hate you." She said hoarsely. "I hate you and will hate you forever." Saul's eyes widened. Raven's form changed in his eyes to a taller woman with black hair and navy blue eyes filled with tears.

"I hate you. I hate you and will hate you forever." A voice echoed in his head.

"You...you're just like her. You're just like her!" Saul screamed.

The next thing Raven knew, oblivion descended upon her like a tsunami of blackness.

Raven opened her eyes slowly. Her whole body was in pain. She rose onto her hands and managed to get her feet beneath her. She grinned weakly. At least he didn't rape her this time. She stumbled to the bathroom. She bit her lip as she applied hydrogen peroxide to her cuts and bandaged herself up.

She pulled on a long skirt and a long sleeved blue shirt. She carefully put her shoes on over her bandaged feet, still raw from the burns from the hot water. She glanced behind her at the apartment and grimaced seeing the blood smeared on the carpet from her nose. She straightened and left.

"I have a promise to keep."

"Tanya...you weren't there." said a sad voice behind her.

"And I'm not going to be there tonight." Tanya replied shortly tossing another rock.

"Four skips, that's pretty good." Chris said lightly.

"Whatever. It's just a dumb rock." Tanya tossed another rock counting five skips before it sunk beneath the surface.

"Tanya...I'm sorry." Chris whispered finally. His hand brushed against her blonde hair. His hand dropped seeing her begin to tremble. "I didn't mean to...I just...wanted to be worth it..."

"Worth it? Worth what? We're just teenagers. You don't have to be famous to be worthy of somebody. All I ever wanted was...you. And you just tossed me aside for your damn fame!" Tanya's voice shook.

"Tanya...I didn't toss you aside! But I didn't want to be some high school quarterback forever! I wanted to be something great...even for a little while. Drumming was my ticket and I took it. I'm so sorry I hurt you...but you never said-"

"Never said I love you, right? Couldn't you just...know? I was always there, no matter what. I played football with you, I was there for every game, I helped you study, I told you everything, and I refused every guy who ever asked me out. I waited forever for you to ask me...ask me anything. Ask me how I felt, ask me out...anything. The next thing I know...you're gone...without even a good-bye!" Tanya shouted angrily.

"I couldn't...say good-bye. I was a coward. I thought you wouldn't care..." Chris reached out for her again.

"Don't! Don't look at me!" Tanya jerked away, her hair falling around her face. Chris's eyes widened.

"Tanya..."

"I don't...I don't want you to see me, okay?" Chris's eyes widened further hearing a sniff. He grabbed her shoulder and spun her around. Tears fell from startled blue eyes.

"Tanya, don't cry!" Chris said desperately. His large hands clumsily tried to wipe away her tears. Tanya laughed. She launched herself at him, barreling into his broad chest.

"You idiot! I knew I wouldn't be able to hold myself back if I looked at you again. I love you, Chris. I'm a stupid, silly, desperate girl who never wants to let you go again! Please, Chris, don't leave me again!" Tanya sobbed into his chest. "I'm such a weakling...it hurts when you're not here."

"I love you, too, Tanya. I'm so sorry." Chris whispered into her hair as he held her close. A light flashed. "Shit." Tanya looked towards the flash and saw a reporter.

"I guess you really are famous, Chris!" Tanya laughed wetly. Chris grinned sheepishly.

"Let's get out of here before more show up. I have a concert you know."

"Which reminds me...I need to talk to you about Raven..."

"Rae!" Brian waved excitedly. "I've been waiting forever for this." He told her happily.

"Do you say that to every girl you take out?" Raven joked. Brian chuckled, then stopped.

"What happened?" Brian asked touching her black eye softly.

"Nothing. Just another run in with the wall. Let's go!" Raven grabbed his hand and pulled him into the crowd.

"Okay, everybody! We have a surprise for you!" Robin announced just before the last song. "We don't write most of our songs, as you know, an old friend does. She happens to be a great singer, too! We want her to come on up! Will she?" Robin asked searching the crowd.

Raven flushed as the whole crowd cheered for her without knowing her.

"Go up, Rae! I love hearing you sing." Brian pushed at her. Raven moved up to the stage. The whole crowd roared, drunk on music.

"Raven Grant, everybody. Sing 'Dreamgurl'." Robin smiled. The whole crowd cheered louder. Raven looked over the mass of people. She bit her lip and then opened her mouth.

"Dreamgurl, what are you dreaming about?

Dreamgurl, why do you scream in pain and shout?

Dreamgurl, your body bruises and bleeds

Dreamgurl it's time to tend to your needs

You hide behind the bedroom door

As your mommy screams in pain and your daddy shouts for more

He throws you 'cross the bed when he's done with her

He rakes his hand upon you as salty tears pour."

Raven swayed softly with the music swelling in her head. The crowd was silent, their minds enraptured by the pure emotion in her voice.

"Dreamgurl, what are you dreaming about?

Dreamgurl, why do you scream in pain and shout?

Dreamgurl, why are you crying?

Dreamgurl, where's your knight in shining armor?

Your lips cry for real kisses

You heart wonders what it misses

You're crying for a savior...

As the monster...comes...once more..."

Raven took a deep breath. Her fingers clenched and she felt like she was floating above it all.

"Oh! Dreamgurl, what are you dreaming about?

Oh, Dreamgurl, why do you scream in pain and shout?

Oh, Dreamgurl, what are you crying for?

Dreamgurl...where's your knight in shining armor?

Oh Dreamgurl, what are you dreaming about?

Dreamgurl, why do you scream in pain and shout?

Oh Dreamgurl, your body bruises and bleeds

Dreamgurl, it's time to tend to your needs...your needs

Oh dreamgurl, dreamgurl, oh dreamgurl, dreamgurl, oh dreamgurl...Dreamgurl..." Raven's eyes opened as the last strums of the guitar faded away. She blinked in surprise as the crowd blurred. She touched her cheeks, feeling tears, as the crowd roared and cheered.

"You were great, Raven." Robin said, a hand on her shoulder. She smiled.

"Thank you."

"Rae!" Brian raced up to her as the crowd fought to leave. He hugged her and grinned at her. "You sounded awesome! You're beautiful on stage." Raven blushed.

"And not offstage?" She asked lowly. Brian blushed.

"What? No! That's not what I said!" Brian stuttered waving his arms frantically. The others laughed. "Tanya? What are you doing here?"

"I was backstage the whole time. Lucky me!" Tanya stuck her tongue out at him.

"Are you and Chris back together?" Raven asked curiously. The two looked at each other.

"Yup! Hey, Ravey, can we talk to you?" Chris asked. "Alone?"

"Sure..." she followed them backstage, "What is it?"

"That song...'Dreamgurl'...and 'Suicidekrazy'...where did you get inspiration?" Tanya asked bluntly.

"I went through some depressing times. My mom died, my dad's getting fired left and right. That's all."

"Why would you write a song about a father raping his wife and daughter?"

"Look, just because I wrote it, Chris, doesn't mean it happened to me. It...just came out." Raven shrugged.

"Why are you always beaten up and flinch when guys touch you?" Tanya demanded, fists on her hips.

"I do not flinch-" Raven jerked when Chris's grabbed her shoulder. "I don't flinch with Brian."

"You have before." Tanya pointed out. Raven frowned.

"Leave me alone." Raven snapped. She turned around and walked over to Brian.

Brian's hand twitched. He rose it slightly and began to sweat, suddenly nervous. Just do it, man. You're done it before! He dropped his hand on Raven's and sighed in relief when she grasped it slightly. She held back a snicker.

They were in a theater on their...two week anniversary since the concert. Barely anybody was there, and they were getting uncomfortable seeing as the couple in front of them was taking advantage of the nearly empty theater. Brian leaned over and softly kissed her cheek. Raven blushed. She was beginning to feel like one of those heroines in those silly mangas! She felt his lips slide closer to her mouth and she froze, no longer feeling at all.

She turned her head automatically, perfectly still. Brian frowned and pulled away. Raven looked blankly up at him. He stared seeing those soulless, pupil-less eyes gazing up at him in the flickering light.

"Rae?" Brian whispered.

"I thought you wanted to kiss me."

"Not if you're acting like a doll!" Brian cringed at the hisses in his direction. He got up and left. Raven blinked and followed him.

"Brian, I'm sorry, what did I do?" Raven asked grabbing his sleeve. He stopped.

"Nothing. That's it. You just didn't do anything." He turned and touched her face. He lowered his hand and touched her chest gently just over her heart. She flinched. Brian drew away his hand and inhaled sharply. "Come on." He led her out the theater.

They walked into the cold November night. She shivered and jumped when Brian turned around abruptly.

"Who did it?" He asked hoarsely.

"What are you talking about?"

"Who touched you? You made you afraid of guys...of me? I want to know, Raven. Why do you turn into an emotionless doll when I try to kiss you or hold you?" Brian gritted. Raven choked.

"I...can't tell you!" Raven turned and fled.

"Rae! Rae, come back!" Brian chased her through the parking lot. She felt the unhealed burn blisters on her feet pull and she fell with a cry, scraping her hands on the asphalt. "Rae, are you okay?" He gently pulled her up.

"My feet..." Raven gasped out. Brian quickly pulled off her shoes and socks to see bandages.

"What happened?"

"Remember that burn from the hot water? I was only wearing socks, so my feet got burned, too. I didn't want you guys to worry-"

"So you didn't go to a hospital?" Brian demanded. "You're going now!"

"I can't! I don't have the money, or insurance. Neither do you, so don't even try it." Raven reached for her socks.

"You're not walking with your feet like that." Brian said. He grabbed her socks and stuffed them in her shoes. He tied the shoelaces to a belt loop on his pants and then crouched down. "I would carry you in my arms, but I can'tlie myself. I haven't the strength to take you all the way to your house like that."

"But my father will be angry."

"And so will I! For not looking after his daughter!" Brian gave her a thumbs-up. She sighed and got on his back.

Brian walked to her house, both silent. She pressed her forehead against the back of his head. Should I tell him? Should I tell him why I flinch away from his hands and when he wants to get intimate? But...why would he believe me? Why would anyone believe me? Raven closed her eyes trying to keep calm.

"We're here, Rae." Brian announced after maybe half an hour. Raven looked up surprised.

"Put me down." Raven whispered her eyes wide seeing the small compact car in front of her building.

"What? But you live on the third floor!" Brian protested.

"Put me down. Quickly! I'm not joking!" Raven hissed, her voice sounding scared. Brian crouched down and she slid off. "Give me my shoes."

"Rae, this is stupid. You're feet aren't...well..." Brian trailed off confused.

"Ugh!" Raven rolled her eyes and kneeled down in front of him to untie them.

"Rae, stop it!" Brian batted at her hands.

"Raven." said a low voice behind Brian. Raven stiffened and she looked around Brian's hip as Brian looked over his shoulder.

"Mr. Grant! I haven't seen you since fifth grade!" Brian grinned.

"What are you doing?" Saul asked in a dangerous low voice.

"She's trying to get her shoes- Wait, are you suggesting she's- you sick old man!" Brian turned around angrily, the shoes flying to the ground loosened from their knot. He frowned up at Saul.

"Raven, go home. Don't ever come near Raven again." Saul said, his eyes never leaving Brian's.

"We've been friends since third grade! You can't force Raven to do anything! She's sixteen!" Brian threw out his arm, blocking Raven.

"Brian, don't, please." Raven murmured.

"Rae, he thought you were BJin' me on the side of the road! He doesn't care that you get hurt, he doesn't even know you are hurt." Brian growling.

"Yes, he does." Raven whispered, her head hanging. Raven glanced up with a gasp as Brian was tossed to the side and Saul grabbed her upper arm.

"Shut up." Saul spat. Raven winced as his grip tightened and he dragged her across the street.

Brian rose up shaking his head. He watched with narrowed as Raven limped to the stairs. He shook his head and jumped up.

"This ain't over jerkwad." Brian ran after them.

Raven let out a small cry as Saul threw her into the living room. She shuffled backwards on her hands. She flipped around and stumbled half-crawling and half-running towards her room. His hand grabbed the back of her shirt and she kicked his knee behind her with a loud yell. He yelped and fell to the ground.

"Leave me alone!" Raven cried desperately.

She fell with a loud thud as his hand wrapped around her ankle. She looked over her shoulder with wide fearful eyes. He grunted as he rose to one knee, raising her off the ground a little.

"HIYAH!" She kicked up with her free foot and got him in the chin.

"You little bit-urgh!" He bit his tongue as she kicked him again. He dropped her foot.

She scrambled away and managed to get to her room. She pushed the door behind her quickly, but he got there too fast and blocked it. With a choked cry, she fell to her bedroom floor. He loomed over her, grinning at her tears.

"I HATE YOU!" she screamed.

He suddenly was falling to the ground. She jumped to her feet seeing Brian at the door. She ran around Saul and threw herself at Brian.

"I'm s-sorry! It was h-him! He-he's raped me since fifth grade! Ever since Mother died. I did-didn't th-hink anyb-body would-d believ-v-ve me." Raven sobbed into his shoulder.

"She's lying. I'm her father. Why would I do that? I admit to smacking her around a bit, but I didn't rape her." Saul explained panicking. Brian glared at him.

"NO, I'M NOT! I'm not your daughter, monster! Mother cheated on you and you never knew! She finally told you and you killed her! You murderer! I hate you! I hate you and will hate you forever!" Raven exclaimed, tears running down her face as her angry eyes stared at him.

Her angry navy blue eyes. Those accusing eyes that stared at him every night. Those eyes that haunted his nightmares, still filled with tears and angry, dead and boring into him. The same words that echoed in his ears from that dead mouth covered in blood.

"Don't! Shut up! You whore! You're just like her! Your eyes, those words! Shut up, shut up! You're going to leave me like her!" His wild black eyes met Brian's wide, open ones. "Him. He came and if I get rid of him, you won't leave me. I won't let you leave me!" Saul ran toward Brian as the two teens gasped.

Saul threw Raven against the doorjamb. She cried out as a metal hinge dug into her back. She looked up to see Saul strangling Brian. Brian's toes dangled off the ground and his eyes were rolling to the back of his head.

"NO! STOP IT!" Ravengrabbed Saul'sarm and bit his wrist. He howled, dropping Brian.

Brian fell with a thud. He stared up amazed. Raven was scratching and biting, her feet striking against Saul's shins as he lifting her up from her upper arms. Saul bodily threw her to the floor. She growled as his eyes searched the room. He smirked as he grabbed a small metal bat from when Raven was six and in little league. He took a step toward Brian. Brian backed up, fear racing through him.

"I'm going to kill you!" Raven darted in front of him and threw herself at him.

Saul fell backwards as Raven continually beat him back. The bat slipped from his fingers. He hit the balcony door, his face bleeding heavily and eyes swollen shut. His finger found the small black handle of the sliding glass door and it slid open. He fell backwards, Raven on top of him. He pushed her off and ran to the railing.

"I'll avenge Mother's death." Raven whispered getting to her knees. Saul turned to face her.

"Rae?" Brian rose from the doorway and walked slowly to the balcony, watching her warily through the open door.

"You'll never touch me again." Raven swayed unsteadily on her feet. Saul turned and scrabbled over the top of the railing.

"Rae..."

"You'll never hurt Brian again! Neither will I." Raven ran towards Saul. He turned, one eye widening.

"RAE! NO!" Brian leaned out the door as Raven's body connected with Saul's.

Brian raced to the railing as their bodies fell to the stairs. They hit with a sickening crack and they rolled and bumped down the rest of the stairs, stopping on the second floor landing.

"RAVEN!" Brian screamed. Blood seeped out of her head, her body sprawled on the cement, flung away from her father when they landed

Brian scrambled over the wooden railing onto the third floor landing and ran down the stairs, his eyes strangely dry. He stumbled over Saul's outstretched foot and fell to his knees next to Raven's body. He lifted her into the crook of his arm and smoothed her black hair away from her face. Streaks of blood were left behind on her cheek. His hand shook, his shirt warm from her blood. Blue eyes were closed, blocking away her soul from him.

"No...no, Raven, don't do this. Wake up. Wake up, please." Brian whispered his eyes still dry.

His hand touched her slightly open lips and his eyes widened. No pulse was beating in her slim throat, no breath past her lips, and no slow rising of her chest.

"N-no." His voice croaked on the word. He shook his head. He shook her violently. "WAKE UP! RAE! WAKE UP!" Her head lolled back, her body limp. Tears finally came to his eyes. "Rae...Raven... come back to me."

He threw back his head, an inhuman cry tearing through his throat. He pressed his wet eyes against her shoulder, his shoulder shaking. His rocked back and forth, her body's last warmth leaving as he sobbed wildly.

V V V

Kitty: Hmm, I had to change the way she died this time. I know her mom cheated on her dad in another story...but I thought it was pretty good...I mean bad, I mean-never mind. Plus, I made it just a little less horrible if her father wasn't really her father and raped her. Didn't her father rape her before? Oh, whatever! When I first wrote this, her dad didn't rape her, just beat her. But it changed without my permission again! I would go back and change it...but I don't want to. I use rape a lot in my angsty stuff...I even raped Izzy...oops, I did that a couple times...SHUT UP!