Strange Bedfellows
Summary: After a trading mission gone awry, two of Atlantis's finest are held captive. Twist. I suck at summaries. WS shipperness (more tension, really), plus a lot of angst and character whumping.
Spoilers: No specifics for now… but just to be safe, everything up until 1x16, "The Brotherhood." If I refer to any specific event in a chapter, I'll put up a spoiler warning before that chapter.
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Stargate Atlantis, because if I did I would be basking in the fandom glory. This story is not for profit, just for fun. This disclaimer applies to all ensuing chapter of this fic.
A/N: This is rated PG-13 for violence and language, though I may have to up the rating to R in at least one of the later chapters. This is my first fanfic (well, first complete one anyway), so be kind! Please review -- good, bad, or just plain sucks… tell me! ;) Enjoy!
Chapter 1: Good Morning, Charlie
"All I'm saying, sir, is that Farrah Fawcett was by far the better Angel."
"Ford," replied Major Sheppard, deadpan. "Are you kidding me? Did you even watch the show?" John highly doubted that he had. His second-in-command was, what, all of twenty-six years old? He was probably still in diapers when Charlie's Angels was on the air.
"Sure I did," Lt. Aiden Ford answered his CO, his voice cracking. It's a good thing I'm not in those negotiations, he thought, because I couldn't bluff my way out of a paper bag.
"Yeah, okay, Ford. I'll tell you what," began John, clapping his hands on his knees. "You give me three reasons why Farrah Fawcett was a better Angel than Jaclyn Smith… and I'll let you borrow a Puddle Jumper for a week." At this, Ford's eyebrows shot sky high. "But," Sheppard continued, "if you can't… you owe me your rations of turkey sandwiches for the next week. Deal?" Not like Weir would approve of a Puddle Jumper for personal use, anyway. He checked his watch.
Aiden Ford knew he had no chance in hell of winning this bet. Hell, he didn't even know anything about the show. All he knew was that Farrah Fawcett looked might fine on this poster he had on his bedroom wall when he was a teenager. But he really, really wanted that Puddle Jumper…
Sheppard seemed to be enjoying the young man tangle with his dilemma. He did his best not to laugh as Ford's face contorted as he struggled to make a decision. God, if he takes any longer, I'll be able to draw social security. Or whatever the equivalent is in the Pegasus Galaxy. "Ford, I know this is a tough decision for you," Sheppard said finally, with an air of sarcasm, "but sometime this year…?"
Damn him. Ford decided to take the easy way out. "No thanks, sir. I don't think making bets with my CO would reflect well upon myself and upon the character of members of the United States Marine Corps," said Ford, with a smile and not without a touch of smugness.
"Give me a break! Ford, you're so full of shit," was the reply from John. He couldn't count the number of times on Atlantis he and Ford had made bets on one thing or another (not to mention all the pranks they pulled together): how long McKay could go without making a sarcastic remark, when the next time Weir was going to chew out Kavanagh, who Steve would threaten to suck the life out of next, or even who would get shot at the most on a mission. All in good fun, of course. During the months they had spent on Atlantis, the two had become close friends. John thought Aiden was a good kid; he was bright, picked up on things quickly, loyal, and good-natured. He was everything a CO could ask for in a 2IC, even if he was a little green. If anything were to happen to Sheppard, he fully trusted Aiden to take care of his team members.
"McKay, what about you?" asked Ford.
"Hmmmm?" echoed the absent-minded reply from the nearby ruins. Whatever the question was, he didn't really care. Dr. Rodney McKay was deeply absorbed in the translation of ancient ruins they had found shortly after arriving on the planet Klaan. He was so close to fully discovering what the ruins said… something about the Wraith, but what else was new? Nearly every planet they had encountered so far had some sort of ruins detailing how the Wraith were a curse upon their cultures, culling large portions of the native populations every few generations. He was hoping to uncover something more useful, like the location of a ZPM.
"What about you? Who was your favorite Angel?"
McKay put his hand-held computer down and looked up. He couldn't believe this. Here he was, attempting to translate ancient ruins (something he had been working on for days, he added silently), and these two numb-nuts he was stuck with were interrogating him with insignificant questions. Not to mention that while Dr. Weir and Teyla were still hammering out the details of the treaty with the Klaans, the end to his torture was nowhere in sight. "Excuse me, not to put a damper on your party over there or anything…"
"Uh oh, here he goes," Sheppard leaned in and whispered to Ford.
"… but I am trying to translate some highly enigmatic text on these ruins here. So while I am glad that you two are having a ball of a time, unless you have something useful to contribute, I ask you to please refrain from distracting me with any more of your dumb questions!"
He was met with silence and stares from the faces of two shocked faces. Then, suddenly, the two military men burst out in hysterical laughter.
"Wow, McKay, that was extremely sardonic, even for you," teased Sheppard after he'd caught his breath. "What's the matter; get up on the wrong side of the bed?"
"Very funny, Major." The truth was, he hadn't eaten in a while, and his hypoglycemia was creeping up on him. He was becoming crabby… even more than usual.
Sheppard rummaged through the pockets in his vest until he found what he was looking for. He tossed the object to McKay. McKay clumsily caught the object and glanced at it, then at Sheppard.
"You're welcome," John said with a lopsided grin, and checked his watch again.
"Thanks," was the reply from a surprised McKay. The doctor joined the men over where they were sitting on some nearby rocks. He opened the Powerbar Sheppard had just given him and munched thoughtfully. After a few minutes silence, McKay began, "About my, erm, outburst--"
Major Sheppard held up a hand to silence McKay. "No apologies needed." He couldn't blame him for being testy, and not just because of his hypoglycemia. They had been stuck on this dull planet moseying around these ruins for days while the more diplomatic Teyla and Dr. Weir negotiated a deal for food with the native Klaans. While tedious and mundane, Sheppard knew the mission was necessary. Atlantis was running low on food.
Truth be told, he much preferred these lackluster ruins to the negotiating table. He hated the intricacies of negotiations, all the political bullshit. One party pretends to like the other in order to gain weapons, intel, or in this case food, lies (or at least, half-truths) are exchanged, and supposed 'alliances' are formed. What Sheppard really didn't like, though, was Dr. Weir's insistence on coming along on this mission. Ever since Teyla had told the group during the briefing that the Klaans had the potential of becoming useful allies but were known to be stubborn and stingy in the negotiating process, Elizabeth had taken it upon herself to personally deal with the natives. She believed with her poly-sci background, she gave Atlantis the best shot of garnering the much needed food without conceding too much themselves.
Which is probably true, thought John, but it doesn't mean I have to like her being here. For one thing, Sheppard and his team knew nothing about the planet Klaan or its people. Teyla hadn't even been there, and all they had to go on was the word of several traders they had met on another mission. He didn't want Atlantis's leader walking into a potential ambush. And for another thing, Dr. Weir wasn't even field trained. If something happened to John, Ford, or Teyla, could Elizabeth fend for herself? John didn't doubt her strength and resolve. In fact, he admired her for it. But would that be enough in a tight spot?
The last reason was personal. While he voiced the previous concerns at the briefing to Dr. Weir -- and was denied his request to have her remain at Atlantis -- he could and would never express his last worry to anyone, especially Elizabeth. Over the past few months, he had come to know Dr. Weir pretty well. He liked her, respected her. He enjoyed their late-night conversations over bowls of smuggled ice cream in the mess hall, liked how she balanced her no-nonsense style of command with a kindness and caring. Elizabeth also saw right through his military façade, seemingly down to his soul. She was too valuable to Atlantis, as a leader and as a person, to lose, and if anything happened to her on this mission, he didn't know if he would be able to live with himself.
But here they were nonetheless. And according to Elizabeth's hourly updates via the radios, things were going wonderfully, much to John's relief. Maybe he overreacted. Still, why did his part of the mission have to be so boring?! Which reminds me…
"So…?" prompted John.
"So… what?" was the response from McKay.
"Who is your favorite Angel?" asked Ford slowly. Apparently, he hadn't forgotten either.
McKay sighed and watched as Sheppard leaned over to Ford once more and whispered something in his ear. His 2IC merely nodded. "Kate Jackson."
"I knew it!" declared Sheppard triumphantly to Aiden. "See, Rodney? Was that so hard?"
"Kate Jackson?" asked Ford incredulously.
"Of course. She's the brainy one, which automatically makes her more valuable, not to mention more attractive," replied McKay wistfully with a dumb grin on his face. He seemed to be gazing of into space. "She was cute, too."
The grins vanished from the two remaining men. "Oh God, McKay's in love with a fictional television character," said Ford.
Naw, McKay's alright. He may be a little… quirky at times, but he's a good guy. Sheppard believed himself to be a good judge of character, and he thought he had McKay pegged from day one. However, the more missions they went on together, the more McKay surprised him. While he initially came off as a pompous, arrogant bastard… okay, he still is a pompous, arrogant bastard. But John learned there was a side to McKay he hardly let anyone see, a side that actually cared about his teammates. John was glad the physicist was on his team.
"Okay, boys," Sheppard said, rising and glancing at his watch for the umpteenth time. "What do you say we blow this popsicle stand and check on what the ladies are up to?" It wasn't so much a request as an order of sorts. Elizabeth was late for her hourly check-ins. Okay, three minutes late. Not a big deal. You're overreacting, John. Again. Still, he wanted to meet up with the rest of his team and see with his own eyes that nothing was in fact wrong. Plus, he wanted to keep tabs on that Hergon guy.
A bad feeling was beginning to creep up on him…
TBC
It wasn't that bad, was it? Not much of a cliffhanger, I know… Not much going on, either, but this chapter was necessary to set up the rest of the story. More action in the later chapters, I promise! Please review!
