Ok Major thankies to Soratofan, Pinkypig, Rubisco and Prince Izzy1 for reviewing me! Sorry this is probably gonna be fairly short updates but I plan on updating fairly regularly so … that's good right? Not 9/11 more of a terrible mistake. Terrorism is bad when it's against military bases, or important national landmarks, but … well read on. It might seem unlikely but it actually happens sometimes. Anywayz artistic poeticness – ness? Me! YAY! Lollies for all. … Umm gotta admit my ignorance here though… Jouma? Sorry word I don't know. Don't throw dictionaries at me! Runs and hides. Enjoy now!

Disclaimer: Oh come on you know this by now. Don't own nothing to do with these guys.

Harsh realities. New times. New feelings. Walking in circles. Around and around. Thoughts and feelings.

He was running. What from? He didn't think about it. He ran faster and faster to try and escape from the thoughts that were threatening to engulf him. He would be strong.

Eventually he stopped in front of it. He looked up at all that remained of Sora's family, and their friends. All that remained of the town hall. These things happened. Madmen thought they were doing the world a favour by killing a few for the greater good. Then they'd get it more wrong than they could possibly imagine. They died for no reason. No reason at all. Just like their victims. No important politicians had been present. No secret discussions had been taking place. It was just a family gathering. A Birthday Party.

The town hall had been hired to accommodate the 40 different people that made up the family. Some of them had flown a long way to join in the 100th birthday party of Sora's grandmother. Sora's Godmother and her family had flown in from Germany. There were two children. One boy and one girl. He had met them once before on their last visit. The girl had been outspoken, but the boy was shy. Not anymore though.

But Sora had survived. Why? Because she had been with him. They were arguing. As usual. It had taken a while for him to realise his own feelings. What was their argument about? Like he could forget. Matt. Matt with his music. With his feelings of guilt. His depressions for no reason at all. He had so many people who loved him. And such a great voice. And what a body …

He straightened as he heard people passing behind him. An old couple with a little terrier. It growled at him as he reached out to pat it. The old couple watched Tai indulgently, as he stroked the lolloping ears. A kind of purr escaped from the animal. Tai grinned and nodded to them and went on his way. It was late and he ought to get some sleep. The club had a practise session early next morning. He had been playing badly lately. They were threatening to take away his captainship if he didn't pull himself together. He jogged lightly back to his own apartment.

He got a soda from the fridge and sat on the couch in front of the TV. He was going to turn it on when he saw the photograph. Matt and Sora. He was there too. In the background. Anger shot through him and without thinking he threw the can still half full can at the sneering photograph.

He spent 20 minutes cleaning up, deciding that after all he did have practice and ought to sleep. He was on the couch again. The bed was in the next room. Somehow it seemed too far away. The photo was in his lap. He looked down at it.

Matt and Sora. Both so happy. And him. Why hadn't Matt seen the envy eating up his "best friend?" Or maybe he just didn't care. Neither of them did. He held the photo close to his chest.

"You call yourself a friend Matt?" The words shocked through him with the speed of an arrow. He closed his eyes. He would not remember what he had said. It was too much. Not again. He had tried so hard …

"No friend would have done what you did! You know how I feel and you … you …"

Matt had grabbed his shoulder, trying to get Tai to face him. Murmuring apologies, begging forgiveness, pleading. Trying to hold his friend close. So … Tai had … He had … He groaned as if it were him who was wounded. The same hit to the heart that Matt must have felt.

Matt had put a hand to his chest where Tai had hit him. Tai turned away. On the couch Tai whimpered. He didn't want to remember the rest. No more he pleaded with himself. But his guilt, with a gleeful snigger, brought back his final words loud and clear.

"You're no friend Matt. You're nothing. Not to them. Not to Sora. Not to me."

He curled up into a tight little ball. Breathing shallowly. Kicking himself again and again. He had left even though his brain was screaming at him to go back to beg Matt for his forgiveness. It was he who ought to beg forgiveness. Not Matt. It wasn't his fault he didn't feel the same way. But Tai hadn't even looked back.

He lay there whimpering, amidst the memories.