Title: When I'm Gone
I think you know all the other info by now…right?
AN: Well, now the plot twist has been revealed….bwhahahahaha. Hope you like it Please keep up the reviews, pretty please? They make me ever so happy.
Go to the person that figured out the artist of "Vermillion" is by Slipknot! Virtual cookie for you! This weeks aint easy either.
Chapter 5: I Don't Want To Be
They had been shuttled out of the apartment in the dead of night through a service entrance and relocated to a secure safe house in Virginia. Thankfully one of the FBI agents went to Gibbs' house and, under the guise of investigating, also packed him a light bag.
Kate had been too tired to even argue about the situation and fell into a fitful sleep in her assigned room. Jake refused to leave her side and was sleeping in the bed with her. Gibbs was across the hall, one FBI agent was upstairs with them, and two were downstairs watching the door.
Gunfire. It was disorienting…she could hear it, it was all around her, but she couldn't move, frozen in place against the wall.
Kate watched in horror as a large red bloom exploded on Gibbs' chest in front of her, expanding outward as he fell to the floor in a heap.
"Gibbs!" she screamed, but couldn't move, she was frozen to the spot.
That's when she noticed Jake sitting quietly at the table, drawing, apparently oblivious to the commotion going on around him.
"Jake!" she screamed, pulling at her legs, but they wouldn't move, couldn't move. "JAKE! Run, baby."
The boy ignored her and picked up another crayon.
"Jake!" she screamed again, but it sounded like she was underwater, her voice hollow, her vision also seemed like she was under the water, everything slightly blurry. Still she couldn't move.
Suddenly, Jake slumped over like Gibbs had and Kate let out a blood-curdling scream….
"Kate!" Gibbs yelled and shook her body. "Kate!"
He was about to do something more drastic when she suddenly opened her eyes and sat straight up, coming face to face with him as he sat on the edge of the bed.
"Hey," he said lowly.
She looked around, disorientated for a moment, clutching one hand to her chest.
"Gibbs…" she whispered.
"I'm right here."
She looked around fervently. "Jake…"
"Here," a small voice called from near the now-opened door. The FBI agent was in the doorway, but silently slipped away.
"Oh, thank God."
Gibbs stroked one of her arms slowly, noting the thin sheen of sweat. "You ok?"
"Yeah, bad dream. I'm fine."
His eyes locked on hers for a moment and they just stared, something passing between them. Something electric, she could literally feel it.
She snapped herself away from the gaze and looked at Jake. "Did I scare you?"
He nodded slowly and approached the bed, crawling on with her again. "But that's ok, we all have bad dreams."
She smiled. "Yes, we do."
Jake looked at Gibbs in the near dark. "Do you have nightmares too, Agent Gibbs?"
That pulled him back to a dream not so long ago that ended with Kate dead. "I do sometimes."
"See…nothing to be scared about," Jake said and gave Kate a small smile.
"You are a very smart boy," Gibbs said and stood. "Let's get back to sleep."
Kate merely nodded and watched him walk out of the bedroom, but before he closed the door, Gibbs turned back and gave her a small smile of comfort.
She slept without dreams the rest of the night.
Safe House
7 AM, Tuesday
Kate woke and stretched her small frame in the bed, careful not to bump the still sleeping child next to her. Getting up, she pulled on a pair of jeans and long sleeved shirt, placed her hair in a ponytail, and headed downstairs, closing the door behind her.
Coming down the stairs Kate noticed the US Marshals were already there along with the Director. Gibbs was also up, sitting ramrod-straight in the chair – the position Kate recognized as his not happy pose.
Crap, I'm going to end up in protective custody, she thought and moved into the room, somewhat annoyed she wasn't woken for this discussion. Gibbs gave her a look that spoke volumes about whatever had happened in her absence and she sat in the quiet room. No one had spoke since she entered.
"Well, since everyone is here, I'll introduce myself." The Marshal was nearly 6 feet, stocky but not fat by any stretch; Kate could tell through his designer navy blue suit he was all muscle. His hair was a clean-cut buzz, but his demeanor didn't announce government or military in anyway. "I am Marshal Timothy Adams, this is Marshal Todd Harrington, we will be in charge of your case from here on in."
Kate put a hand up, interrupting the man. "I'm sorry, but I don't think we ARE a case, we don't need protection."
"That little boy is, ma'am, and you both are in danger. The Navy asked us to take over and since you are all technically civilians, we can bury you so far your mother would never find you."
"I don't want to be buried..."
The agent stared her dead on. "Most people feel that way, but in your case, your Director and the military feel it's in your best interest to disappear until the men who tried to kill you are found. This is most likely not a permanent situation."
She turned to her boss. "Gibbs…"
The other man leaned on his thighs, looking at her much the same as the Marshal did, but with a softer expression. "Kate, I think...I don't think we have a option. You don't have all the facts."
"Facts? What facts?" She looked at Gibbs and the Marshal. "What is going on?"
"Overnight, we ran a check on the man who Agent Gibbs killed. Your hired assassin showed up on a list of known terrorists. It's possible that whatever Jacobs and Martin were into, it's more serious then we initially thought, and now someone considers all of you a threat."
Kate looked at Gibbs who nodded. "You have got to be kidding me."
"Kate, it's the best option we have right now. You want to get Jake killed?"
"I can protect him, Gibbs, now that I know…"
"With all due respect to your Secret Service background, ma'am…"
"Stop calling me ma'am."
He nodded. "With all due respect, Agent Todd, we believe you, Agent Gibbs and Jake are better off in our custody until this is resolved."
"I can't…."
"The news today will carry the story we carefully spun about all your deaths. It will be absolutely believable, since the only people who have seen you since the shooting are FBI and trusted. As soon as we found out what happened, we put a lockdown on local involvement."
Now she looked at Director Morrow. "Sir…"
"I'm sorry, Agent Todd, but in this case I believe the FBI is right: based on the potential terrorist threat, you and Agent Gibbs need to be protected. They probably believe the boy told you everything he knows."
She buried her head in her hands. "I don't believe this."
Agent Adams leaned over and picked up a file. "These are your new identities. The Director and Agent Gibbs insisted you be placed together." He handed one file each to Kate and Gibbs. "You are now John Mitchell and his wife Katherine. You have moved to New York City because of Johns work -- he is an independent security consultant in town to evaluate and replace current systems of several wall street companies. Kate, you are a housewife and home school your only son, Josh."
Gibbs saw Kate roll her eyes at that and knew she would not do well as a housewife at all. She would go insane.
"We will be escorting you to another safe house later today. From there you will drive yourself to the address listed in the file. For now we want to you read and memorize those dossiers; start practicing calling each other by your new names. Agent Todd's will be easier, as Katherine can be shortened to Kate. You will want to make sure that Jake understands how important it is never to use your real names, and never divulge any information. If you like, we can have a counselor at the next house to talk to him."
Kate shook her head. "No, I'll do it. What if Agent DiNozzo finds his relatives?"
"Then they will be told the same story as everyone else: he died while in NCIS protection, and there was nothing that could have been done." He paused. "Deputy Harrington and I will be back in five hours, so be ready to go."
They both nodded silently, and the Marshals left with a curt goodbye.
"God, Jenna must be freaking out right now."
Gibbs looked at her oddly for a second before getting it. "Your sister."
"Yeah."
The practically silent Director finally spoke. "The only people at NCIS who know you are not dead are myself and Agent DiNozzo; he will be assisting the FBI with the investigation. But right now I need a debrief of last night. Everything, Agents."
Safe House, Unknown Location
10 am
At some point during their debriefing, Jake had woken up and come down looking for Kate. She pulled him into the kitchen – having already given her statement – and explained the situation as best she could.
"Are you ok with this, Jake?"
He stared into his cereal bowl. "You'll be there?"
"Yep."
Still he didn't look up and she leaned against the counter next to him. "And Agent Gibbs?"
"Yeah. It's for your own protection, you understand that, right?"
"Yours, too." He took another bite of Cheerios. "It's ok, Kate."
"Good," she said and started to walk away.
"Kate…" he called out and she stopped at the door. "Thank you for trying."
The comment surprised her; he acted more like an adult sometimes than a kid. "Trying what, Jake?"
"To help find the men who hurt my parents."
"Jake…"
"There was so much blood."
Slowly, Kate moved back into the kitchen but said nothing.
"I tried to help her, I really did, but she wouldn't wake up, Kate." His voice started to crack and tears finally flowed down his face. "I wanted to help, but I was so scared. I didn't help my Mom."
Kate sat on the bar stool next to Jake and pulled him into her lap, tears starting to form in her own eyes; she hurt for this boy who had suffered so much already. "It's ok, baby. You did your best."
He started crying openly and buried his face into her shoulder. "I ran away, I hid in the attic, I couldn't help her."
After wiping her own cheeks, Kate started stroking his hair slowly, rocking back and forth. "You did the smart thing, Jake. Trust me, your parents don't blame you."
He didn't seem to acknowledge her words, just continued crying. Kate dropped a light kiss onto his head and rested her cheek in his soft hair, trying to hold back more of her own tears. She had become so attached to him already that it might kill her to let him go. Not so long ago, Kate had mentioned to Tony that she thought about having kids someday. Her career had always come first, which at the time was fine with her, and she was happy, if sometimes a little unfulfilled, with an empty personal life.
Protecting this boy had brought out Kate's maternal instinct in spades, and already she feared she was past that point she had promised to warn Gibbs about. But it was too late now: for however long it would be, she would be his pretend mother and Kate was sure that would only make it worse. She wrapped her arms around him a little more tightly and closed her eyes.
Gibbs walked into the kitchen and stopped in his tracks. Kate was sitting on one of the bar stools near the island, Jake wrapped in her arms, her back to him. He walked to them and stepped around, so he could face her; she opened her eyes and in that second, he knew it was too late.
Her eyes were rimmed with red and he could see the tracks from tears on her cheeks. But it was her expression that really socked Gibbs in the gut. She looked…emotionally spent.
"Gibbs," she said and pulled her head up, using one hand to wipe at her eyes again. "I'm sorry. I'll come out and we can finish the debrief."
"It's done, you're fine."
"Oh…" She didn't know what else to say.
They stared at each other for what felt like an eternity, until Jake's body pulled away from hers and he gave Gibbs a small smile.
"Go shower and get dressed, we'll be leaving again soon," she said.
He nodded and hopped off her lap with Kate's help. Once she was relieved of his weight, Kate stood up and picked up his bowl, walking it over to the sink as Gibbs watched silently. She was rinsing it out as she finally spoke.
"I don't want to hear it, Gibbs."
"I didn't say anything, Kate."
Now she turned and dropped the bowl; it made a clattering sound as it hit the bottom of the sink. "No, but you're thinking it. I got too close; I did what I promised I wouldn't. I…didn't mean to, it just happened."
He took a step closer to her, still not speaking, allowing Kate to get it out.
"He tried to help them, Gibbs. He went into that living room and failed and he feels guilty as hell about it. He's seven, Gibbs -- it shouldn't be like this. It shouldn't be like this for him. I should have been able to protect him, not land us in Witness Protection. I should have hid him better. Maybe not even taken him, he would have been better off with the Navy."
He closed the gap between them and reached out one hand, placing it on her shoulder. "No, Kate. He was better off with you. We wouldn't have gotten that sketch without you and instead of being in Witness Protection, he might be dead. Do not blame yourself, you did your job."
"Yeah, well, it wasn't enough, was it?"
"It was plenty. That boy feels safe around you Kate -- that's something."
She looked at him. "What happened to that bastard of a boss I used to have?"
"He's softened up a little. Are you complaining?"
"Not in the least."
"Good." He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her body into his, giving her a brief hug. "Come on, let's get ready for the next part of the trip, Mrs. Mitchell."
She froze as she pulled away from him. "Wow, that's weird."
"Tell me about it," he muttered.
Getting a mischievous glint in her eye, Kate looked her boss dead on. "So does this technically make me wife number four?"
He gave her a scathing look, but behind it she saw the amusement. "That's not funny."
"Oh, yes it is." She threw over her shoulder as she walked out of the kitchen.
They were ready to go when Deputy Harrington and Adams returned in an SUV with tinted windows. The three got into the car and the nearly-hour drive was done in mostly silence; the only noise was Kate and Gibbs flipping pages of the dossiers.
When they arrived at the next house they were surprised to find several people waiting for them. They were given a rundown of the procedures of protection, most of which they already knew: a map, two cell phones, bank account numbers, plus keys to the car and a townhouse in Manhattan they were expected to move into by the next day.
Additionally, each was handed a wedding ring, both the perfect size. Kate's rings were large -- at least a carat and a half -- solitaire diamond in white gold, and wedding band with 5 more diamonds. Gibbs' was a simple ring in the same white gold, no gems added.
Deputy Harrington looked at them carefully. "I would suggest you both change your appearance slightly. Agent Todd you would be best served cutting and coloring your hair. Agent Gibbs, you have a distinctive rather military hairstyle, which I suggest you change as well before getting to New York. We have set up bank accounts with your names on them." He pulled out two credit cards. "Use them."
They both nodded.
"This is as far as we can go with you, but if you don't arrive in New York, we will know. Occasionally we may need to contact you, especially if the situation is resolved. Someone will call you on your new cell phones, or contact you in person. If someone does contact you claiming to be from the marshals ask for the password. Your code name is Philadelphia, which is also the password."
"As in the town?" Kate asked.
"As in the submarine, ma'am."
Kate and Gibbs shared a small conspiratorial smile.
"If you don't have any further questions?"
"No, I think we are all set," Gibbs said.
"Good luck, Agents," Deputy Harrington said, stepping out with his partner, loading into a sedan and driving away -- leaving Kate and Gibbs to sort out the mess.
They looked at each other a second, each unsure about the future. It was an awkward situation at best.
Kate looked down at the credit card in her handed then back at Gibbs. "I don't know about you, but I'm not planning on wearing these clothes forever. I think we need to find the closest mall."
He rolled his eyes, but agreed. "It will be a good test."
She nodded. "Where's the phone book?"
Two hours later, Gibbs found himself in the one place he never pictured he'd be: the last bastion of suburbia, the shopping mall. This was a newer one though; the architecture was sleek and airy. It wasn't as bad as he expected, but maybe the company had something to do with it.
Kate had decided to go shopping for Jake first and they had promptly hit the department stores, picking up everything he needed and dropping the bags back in the car. She surveyed the two men with him; Gibbs still needed to get some items and she was sure he didn't want her around. Quickly she spun an idea.
"John, why don't you take Josh and get yourself whatever you need. I'll do what I need to."
He nodded at her. "Let's meet back here in two hours?" he asked tentatively, honestly having no clue how long this would take her.
Kate knelt in front of Jake. "You gonna be ok with…Dad?" The words felt strange.
"Yeah," he said and moved a little closer to Gibbs.
"We'll be fine, Kate. Do what you need to."
She looked at them nervously a moment; she trusted Gibbs with their lives, but this was the first time she was trusting Jake's care to someone besides herself.
Gibbs noticed her unease and leaned into her, one hand now grasping Jake's. "We'll be fine, you have your phone."
"Yeah, ok. See you soon." She started to walk away, but Gibbs' voice stopped her.
"Katie…" She turned and looked at him, a little surprised by his use of Katie; she had only heard it once before, what seemed like a lifetime ago. "Be careful."
"I will." With that, she waved and headed to the lower level.
Two hours later, Gibbs was back, with several shopping bags in tow, and one tired seven year old. Jake had started out enthusiastic, but as the hours waned, he lost some of the energy and was sitting next to Gibbs on a bench, rather sedate.
Several minutes passed and with every one, a knot started to form in his stomach; he never knew Kate to be anything but prompt. Gibbs looked at his watch: 15 minutes past -- not long by any stretch, but considering their situation, it was a lifetime.
"Kate, where the hell are you?" he whispered.
As 20 minutes passed, he picked up the phone and started dialing, only to have his motions frozen by a familiar voice.
"I'm right here. Sorry, it took longer than I expected."
He looked up and Gibbs' heart nearly stopped in his chest.
Oh, no. No. God help me.
She's a redhead.
Kate had apparently taken the Marshals suggestion and changed her hair. She had several inches cut off, and it now came to just above her shoulders. It flipped out some and she had her bangs cut shorter. But the biggest change was the color; Gibbs had always noticed a slight red tint to her hair in the sun, but now…now she was a deep auburn shade, noticeable even in the mall lighting.
You're screwed. Hopelessly screwed. The internal voice in his head told him.
"Wow, Kate."
"Kate!" Jake squealed in delight. "Your hair! Its beautiful."
She leaned down. "Thank you, but remember, you can't call me that."
He looked chagrined. "Sorry."
She smiled and ruffled his hair. "It's ok, just try and remember."
He nodded and she stood, coming face to face with Gibbs. "I didn't want red, but I can't be blonde."
"It's lovely, Kate -- it suits you."
"Thank you."
"Ready?"
"Yeah, let's go," she said as he opened the exit door for her and Jake. "How long of a drive do we have to New York?"
"About three hours, and I'd rather get there in the middle of night, less people around to notice."
"Good idea."
He looked at his watch. "It's nearly 6 now. Let's pack up, eat and head out around 9."
She nodded and they walked across the parking lot, Jake in between them.
"Does this feel weird to you?" she asked as they approached the car.
"Very. I don't think it's really sunk in yet, though. Right now I'm just focused on keeping you and…Josh alive."
"I'm sorry you got pulled into this Gibbs…John. I shouldn't have…If you hadn't come to my apartment last night you wouldn't be stuck with us for…who knows."
They got to the car and Gibbs opened the door for them. He shut Jake's first, and leaned into her before closing hers. "Who said I was stuck?"
She gave him a surprised look and he closed the door.
11:00 PM
"Kate…" he called softly in the dark car. When she didn't immediately respond, he reached one hand out and shook her lightly. That got her attention and she startled awake.
"Gibbs."
"John."
"Whatever. What's wrong?"
He smiled at her. "Nothing, we are on I-78, so it's not much longer now. I need you to help me navigate through the city."
"Ok, no problem," she said and sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes and grabbing the carefully laid out directions.
She turned in her seat and looked at the boy sitting behind Gibbs: he was sound asleep, his pillow pressed against the window.
"How long has he been sleeping?"
"Almost as long as you." His tone held amusement.
"Sorry, it was a long day."
He reached out and touched her hand, which was resting on her thigh. "I know."
She lowered her head and starting reading the directions. Gibbs took the hint and removed his hand, focusing on the road instead.
With the Marshal's directions they were at the brownstone in under 45 minutes. It was located in Manhattan, in one of the more expensive ends of town. The two-story building was a middle unit in a section of about a dozen other similar homes. Gibbs had been right -- no one was out in this area at the hour, but he had gone in ahead of her and checked to make sure everything looked safe in the house.
Once he came back out, he picked up a drowsy Jake and carried him up to his room, followed by Kate. She took a moment to look at the room; it was furnished, but didn't have much personality in it for a boy. She would have to do something about that with all her free time. Kate made sure he was all tucked in – he was already dressed in PJs – and walked into the hall with Gibbs, leaving his door opened just a crack.
Gibbs looked at her. "You take the bedroom, there's a couch in the office I can use."
"Gibbs…" she started but was cut off by his hand.
"That's the way it is, Kate."
"Fine, fine."
She walked downstairs with Gibbs not too far behind her, and inspected the layout. It was rather simple: the front door opened into a large foyer area that opened into an even larger living room on the right side of the stairs she had just descended. Behind the living room was a half-wall that led into the dining room and kitchen. All the rooms were furnished, and the living room even had a large screen TV Kate wasn't sure Gibbs would use. She sure as hell would though.
Following the semi-hall next to the stairs she entered the kitchen. Mahogany cabinets with beautiful dark green granite countertops had a striking contrast to the gray-green tile floor. In the center of the room was an island that was nearly the size of her dining room table at home. To the left was a landing and stairs leading down to the basement; to the right, an exterior door. Kate pulled off the chain, and opened it to a small backyard, but she couldn't see well because of the lack of light.
Closing the door, she turned back to find Gibbs searching the kitchen cabinets.
"What are you looking for?"
"Coffee."
"Gibbs! It's past midnight."
He stopped looking and turned to her. "You tired?"
She pursed her lips and started looking through the cabinets closest to her. "Not in the least."
He smirked and turned back, letting out a noise of accomplishment. "Found it."
Ten minutes later she was sitting at the island, with Gibbs across from her, both slowly drinking coffee.
"Ok, now it's sunk in," he said.
She looked around the kitchen. "Yeah, it really has. This is our life now, Gibbs: a three bedroom one and a half bath brownstone 400 miles from home. And a seven year old. I've never felt so unprepared in my life."
"Kate, you'll be fine. It's going to take some adjusting, but we can handle it."
She looked at him with an inscrutable expression. "You don't get it. I'm going to be home all day being a mother to him. I don't know how to do that, I really don't."
Gibbs was surprised to see a look of panic cover her face. "Kate, relax."
"Are you kidding…relax? We don't know how long we are going to be here, it could be 6 months, it could be 3 years. There is a distinct possibility that we will have to raise this child, Gibbs."
He moved around the island and sat next to her. "Kate, let's worry about that when the time comes; for now let's deal with adjusting to being here."
She seemed to contemplate this a moment. "You're right, I'm sorry…"
"Never apologize."
Now she smiled warmly at him. "That wasn't a rule."
"No, but it's a good policy." He drained the last of his coffee and looked at her. "Let's get some sleep. Tomorrow we need to get the lay of the land."
She nodded and dumped the rest of her coffee in the sink, following him up the stairs. At the top, they parted ways: Kate to the master bedroom on the left, Gibbs across an open landing to the office on the right, which was next to Jake's room. Each left the door opened a crack.
As she changed and curled into the oversized King bed, Kate felt the panic start to rise in her body yet again. She quickly tamped it down though; she was not going to let it take control. Closing her eyes and concentrating, she could hear Gibbs moving around on the couch trying to find a more comfortable position. She would talk to him in the morning about that -- there was no way he could do this every night. He would be miserable, and by extension, so would she.
Kate memorized every noise the house made: the sound of the refrigerator turning on, the muffled sounds of birds outside her window, the house creaking as it settled a little more. Before long she drifted into sleep.
Gibbs woke to strange noises, but not those you would normally associate with a house. It sounded like…someone struggling.
In an instant he was up, had his gun in hand and was opening his door. Gibbs stood silently at the threshold and waited for the noise again. It took several seconds but he heard it and realized it was coming from Jake's room.
Hanging onto the gun, he walked the few feet to Jake's door and slowly eased it open, flinching as it creaked, not wanting to alert anyone who may be in the room to his presence. But when he opened it fully, Gibbs realized there was no one in the room, just Jake lying on his bed, thrashing violently and now making moaning noises.
Quickly Gibbs crossed the room, leaving his gun on the dresser by the door, and sat on the edge of the bed, calling the boy's name softly.
"Jake….Jake."
Gibbs looked at him a moment before reaching a hand out and touching the boy's back, rubbing lightly. Even in sleep, that seemed to calm him and Gibbs continued until he had stopped moaning and moving.
Pulling his hand away, Gibbs waiting until he was sure Jake was fully asleep before getting up, and grabbing his gun again, and going back to his couch. Entering the room, Gibbs eyed the furniture distastefully; it wasn't terribly comfortable but he had slept on worse, and often did at home under his boat.
His boat.
He knew he would miss the distraction of venting frustration on the wood, turning what was anger into a beautiful piece of craftsmanship. It was therapeutic, and in Washington. For one moment, Gibbs allowed himself to feel frustration and anger at the situation, It was all he had time for because this wasn't about him or his damn boat, it was about keeping Kate and Jake safe.
Kate…He had gotten attached to her at some point; after the whole Ari incident he could clearly recall his feelings start to change, and now he could feel it happening with Jake. This was a dangerous situation -- a family -- everything Gibbs had truly wanted in life (no matter how much he denied it), but never managed to have.
And none of it was real.
tbc…………………………
