Kickin' It

"I know this is a very stressful time for you, but it's imperative for you both, that you take care of yourself, and put yourself and your needs first right now."

I didn't say anything for my own guilt was doing the talking.

It was by putting my own needs before his that landed him in this very hospital only a few floors down from where I am sitting right now. I had secretly vowed to do everything possible to make sure he knows how much he means to me….how much I love him…how much…

"Daphne?" He unknowingly interrupted my inner voice.

"Yes Dr. Stewart?"

"It's important," he reinforced, almost as if he could read my mind.

"You don't understand Dr. Stewart, now, more than ever, Niles needs me to put him first." I plea and try and make him understand.

"How is Niles?"

"My Father-in-law is with him now. I called the nurses' station before I came in here and they said he was still unresponsive. His doctor is most concerned about his fever, the antibiotics aren't working like they had hoped and both the fever and the infection are putting a tremendous amount of strain on his already much weakened heart."

"I'm sorry Daphne. If I recall, didn't Niles say in one of your previous appointments that he had a congenital heart condition?"

"Yes. He had asked you what the odds were of his, our, child having one as well."

"Like I told you earlier during your ultrasound, your child's heart is strong and healthy. Let's just make sure it stays that way."

Bethany then came in the room and over to me with a small envelope in her hand.

"Is that it?"

"That's it," she smiles and before leaving the examining room. "Oh and Daphne. We're all praying for Niles and that he gets well real soon."

"Thank you Bethany."

With one of my longer fingernails, I carefully slit open the envelope and pull out the picture.

Instantly, tears roll down my cheeks while at the same time a smile forms on my face.

"If there is anything, I mean anything, my staff or I can do for you, please let us know."

"You already have," I sniff and press the picture into chest, close to my heart.

-------

After a quick stop at the gift shop, I return to Niles' room.

Before stepping in, I hear Martin talking and stop, as not intrude on this father and son moment.

"Niles Crane, I need you to listen, and I need you to listen to me good."

Martin took in a deep breath, and let it and all his feelings out.

"Ever since you came into this world ahead of schedule, you have always been a fighter. When you arrived, you were not much bigger than my hand and you were blue from head to toe and not breathing. But you were determined to be a part of this brand new world your Mother and I brought you into, so you fought. During those first few months, it was touch and go with you almost every day, but you fought. You fought harder during those first few months then most people do their entire lives.

As you got older and to this very day, your battles never ceased. Whether it was allergic reactions, the chicken pox, mono, you name it, you got it. And now, here you are, once again fighting for your life. Like all the other numerous illnesses that have plagued you throughout your life, you will kick this in the butt and defeat this one like you have each and every one of the others.

You know son, when you were born the doctors told your Mother and me that because of being born so early and because of your very low birth weight coupled with your congenital heart condition you probably wouldn't survive. But you had determination and drive, and proved them all wrong. I want you to prove those damn doctors wrong again!"

By now Martin was in tears and so was I.

"Niles, son, I love you. I know you can beat this. Just keep on fighting like you always have. If giving up ever crosses your mind, or you can't do it for yourself, then do it for Daphne and your child."

I come up from behind Martin and put my arm around his neck and give him a soft kiss on his wet, tear stained cheek.

"Martin that was lovely," I compliment as I lay Niles' gift on the nightstand besides Martin.

"Well one thing is for damn sure."

"What's that?"

"That was his first pep talk."

We both share a laugh at Niles' expense. He gets up and offers me the chair and I sit down and take Niles' hand into my own and start stroking his hair.

"Before I forget, I talked to Frase and he and Roz will be here shortly. So, how did your appointment go?" He asks, standing behind me.

"The baby is doing well. Developing right on schedule. Heartbeat is strong and healthy."

"That's good to hear. Say, What's this?" Martin inquires as he holds up Niles' gift.

"It's a gift for Niles."

While shaking it. "What is it?"

Before I could answer, Niles' hand violently jerks out of my own while the rest of his body nearly does the same out of bed. His head and neck repeatedly start thrashing, as does his whole body, for it is caught in the grip of a brutal seizure.

"Martin! Get one of the nurses! Hurry!"

"Niles. Love." I cry out.

I look up at his heart monitor, which is screaming and flashing like crazy.

Two ICU nurses rush into the room and to the side of his bed.

"I need you both out of here. Now!" one of them barks at us.

I try and move but can't. I am fixated on my husband's convulsing body.

Martin comes over to get me.

"Come on Daph, let's go wait in the hall."

For one, brief and intense moment, his eyes pop open, locking onto my own.

Penetrating my very soul, piercing my heart, were his beautiful blues that I can always find love and strength in, only now they held a ghastly, faraway and helpless glaze.

I detect a small tear roll down his cheek as his eyelids flutter and eventually, his eyes roll into the back of his head and close again while his head violently snaps back as does the rest of his body.

Long seconds turn into long minutes, until finally, he and his exhausted body fall limp and lifeless but not before one final and terrifying snap.

"Code blue: room 403. Code blue: room 403," the announcement is put out.

One of his nurses rips out his breathing tubes and throws his pillows to the floor and tilts his head back and pops open his mouth.

"Starting intubation," one calls out to the other and starts performing the intricate procedure.

"What in the hell is she doing to him?"

I think back to my late nights of watching George Clooney and ER reruns on channel 18.

"She is inserting an endotracheal tube."

"Huh?"

"She is trying to clear Niles' airway so she can insert a tube down his windpipe which will help him breathe again. She'll then attach the tube to a ventilator," I explain, relatively and surprisingly calm.

While sharing my explanation to Martin, the other nurse rips open his hospital gown and shouts, "Commencing CPR."

Martin and I hold onto each other for comfort as we look on in absolute horror. We are almost run over by the crash cart that is wheeled into his room in attempt to resuscitate him.

"Charging…clear!" his doctor screams and the nurse that is administering the oxygen, stops squeezing and disconnects the mechanical device that is attached to his trach and stands back.

My only moments earlier and brief calm is now replaced by a raging vortex of fear as I helplessly watch my husband and his whole body violently jerk again. This time it's because of the paddles that are being firmly pressed onto his chest and that are delivering high voltages of electric shock to his heart in an attempt to restart it.

After every failed attempt, they check his heart monitor, which shows nothing more than a flat line.

Long and terrifying minutes pass.

"I think we have a pulse. It's very weak, but he has one." The nurse finally reports with her fingers pressed to the side of his neck.

"Come on Niles, pick up the beat," his doctor instructs and checks his heart monitor.

Instead of the deafening, monotone shriek from the past couple of minutes, a barely audible, and still very erratic, chirp can he heard from his monitor.

His doctor places his stethoscope onto Niles' chest and listens.

"We got him," his doctor declares.

Both in tears, Martin and I hug each other tighter, relieved.

His doctor starts jotting down some notes on Niles' chart.

"What caused his seizure? Do you think he'll have any more?" I question.

"The same thing that's put him in this coma. It's his extremely high fever. He just isn't responding to any of the drugs that we've given him so far. I am going to have one of the nurses insert yet another and a much stronger, type of antipyretic drug, which if you remember, is a temperature-reducing drug, into his IV. Hopefully, he will respond to it, and thus, start lowering it. I am also ordering him a sponge bath. As to your second question…"

"Doctor Newsome, I'm sorry I don't mean to interrupt you, and I know this highly unconventional, but could I give him his sponge bath? I am a physical therapist and no stranger on how to do this. And he is, my husband."

I make my way over to Niles.

"I think that can be arranged. In fact, it might do your husband a world of good to feel his wife's touch. But, I want to stress, he is not out of the woods yet, not until we can bring that fever down. In my opinion, I think there is a very good chance he'll have a few more."

"Will they be that violent?"

"I can't say Mr. Crane. I'm very sorry, I wish I could do more for him."

"I know you're doing everything in your power to help my son."

"I'll have one of the nurses bring in everything you need to give him his bath within the hour. I want to give his body a chance to recover. If you have any questions please have me paged immediately."

The room is now empty except for Martin and myself.

The quiet is interrupted by the awful hiss of his respirator, almost drowning out the sound of his heart monitor, which is still audible to my worried ears.

I bend over and give him a kiss on his forehead since I can't on the lips because of the respirator and the tube that are taped securely to the right side of his mouth.

He looked so pale and weak and vulnerable.

But I know he can hear us, so, I share with him,

"I love you Niles and I'm so very proud of you," I whisper into his ear.

"You're right Martin," I comment as I wipe away at another tear that is rolling down Niles' cheek.

"About what?"

"Niles is a fighter, that is why he came back to us."

-------

"Are you sure you don't want to join us?" he double checks.

"I'm sure. Besides, I'll be giving him his sponge bath soon. You three go on."

"Alright then," he gives me kiss on top of my head.

He walks over to Niles.

"I'll be back soon, you hang in there," Frasier orders and tousles his little brother's hair.

Frasier leaves with Roz, who is out in the hall talking to Martin about what happened earlier.

Frasier had stopped in real quick to see Niles before having a late lunch with Martin down in the cafeteria.

Though I insisted I wasn't "very hungry", he insisted on bringing something back for me, so I could "keep my strength up."

As I complete his sponge bath and run my hands over his body, I silently pray that it, along with the new drug, will bring his fever down and that if he is stricken with another seizure, it won't be life threatening like his previous one.

I get up and set the washcloth down and go over to retrieve his present that is still on his nightstand where I had left it.

"I got you something, my love." I start unwrapping.

"I'm sure you've forgotten all about my appointment with Dr. Stewart this afternoon."

"Niles…" I hold up the gift, which is a picture in a frame.

"It's our, your child."

I lay the picture up against him. "I know it's hard to tell from the ultrasound, but Dr. Stewart was able to determine the sex…"

"Ow," I interrupt myself has I feel a sharp pain in my mid-section and start to worry.

"Ow," I repeat. There it is again, and I grow more concerned and start to panic.

I rub the pain and decide it might be better for me to sit down.

Once again I feel it, but this time, I can only smile.

I take Niles' limp hand and place it atop my belly, with my own on top of his.

A few seconds pass, nothing happens.

"Oh, come on…just one more time." I plea.

"Now, don't make me beg," I start.

And then…

"Did you feel that Niles? That was your child. Quite a powerful little kicker we got in there. No doubt in my mind that they are going to be a kick boxer, just like their Daddy."

To be continued…