Safe in the Arms of Love

"Love, Daddy," I conclude and sniff, failing miserably in my attempt to stop the tears that threaten to fall down me cheeks.

Gingerly, and with a great amount of love and care (almost as much as Niles did when he wrote the letter to our daughter) I place the letter in a glass encased frame for protection and hang it on the wall by her bed.

I lean over and scoop our daughter up and cradle her in my arms and in my love.

"Does someone need their diaper changed?" I ask her as I carry her over to the dressing table.

As I change her, she looks up at me with her daddy's crooked smile.

I tickle her tummy and she giggles playfully.

When she giggles, her blue eyes that she also shares with her daddy, get the same glint and sparkle in them as her daddy's do right before he is about to say something witty or clever.

How I long to see that glint and sparkle in his eyes again.

I carry her over to the rocking chair and I sit and start to rock her to sleep.

She wails and I get up and pace around the room in an attempt to calm her down and get her to sleep.

30 minutes later I have yet to triumph and head out the nursery door to the study.

Upon reaching the study, I place her in her playpen and spread out the blanket I had brought with us.

I go back over and get her and carry her over. Carefully, I lay her down on the blanket and lay down right beside her.

She wails again, but this time it's a reminder cry.

"I know. I know. I was just getting to it," I tell her as I reach over to the CD player and press the start button.

Within moments, her daddy's piano music, which he recorded especially for her, fills the room.

I look around us and smile. I can feel her daddy's love within the protective environment that surrounds us.

The music echoes and resonates where we lay, almost sounding as if he were playing right above us.

"Almost," I whisper and lament, "Oh Niles, how I wish you were."

Longing to do the same with Niles, I hold her safely in my arms never wanting to let her go. Before long she is lulled to sleep. Once again like her daddy, it is truly the one and only place she finds solace in.

Under the piano.

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I rush and burst into his room just has his seizure had concluded.

Without hesitation, I dash to his side, gathering him and his limp and exhausted body into my arms.

I can't help but notice the flashing lights and the erratic sounds of all his life supporting systems, indicating and recording his distress and their (along with his doctor and nurses) attempts to stabilize him again.

"Shh…its all right My Love." I rock him for comfort and reassure him in soft tones. "I'm here now and you're safe in my arms, in my love. No one will hurt you ever again."

As I wipe away some of his tears, I turn to his doctor and nurses and demand. "I got here as fast as I could. What in the hell happened?"

To be continued…