Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Ball, and REALLY don't think the characters are writing to you, but it sure is fun to do!


Orange E-Mail

Dear Goku,

I write to you to ask if you're REALLY that stupid, or if you just act that way. I hope you just act that way, 'cause if you're really that stupid, then you probably can't even read this. Next question: Do you wake up with your hair like that, if you do then I hate you more. Why would you get rid of your tail, I mean, I'd do ANYTHING to have a tail, tails are SO cool. I HATE your orange SHIRT! .You're the LAST person I even THOUGHT I'd be writing to. Mostly I just wanted to tell you how much I HATE you. Here I go, I REALLY REALLY REALLY hate you, I feel so sorry for Chi-chi having to put up with your stupid, idiotic personality, oh my Ra, I gave you so much credit as to having a personality, AAHH how could I! Well, I guess I DO have to give you credit for one thing. Eating as much as you do is the BEST, I wish I could, I LOVE eating. Mmmm..food w

Well, I guess I should let you go. Bye, you unworthy piece of...

"KAYLA!"

"Ah! Karen!"

Kayla

P.S.: Say hi to your sons for me. They're SO adorable!
V

P.P.S.: GO TO HE..."

"KAYLA!"

"Bye!.. Penguins are cute v."


Goku's Reply

Dear Kayla,

Hi! Thanks so much for writing to me! You know, when Keisei asked me to do this, and she was all snickering and giggling to herself, I thought it was a prank or something! But you really mean it! Wow! This is so great! Okay, why do you say I'm stupid? I mean, I'm not as smart as Bulma, but I don't think I'm stupid...am I? AAAHHH! Oh, no! Chi-chi! Am I that stupid!
"Goku, stop typing what you're saying! No, you're NOT stupid!
You're just...SPECIAL"
Thanks, Chi-chi! You see? Chi-chi says I'm NOT stupid! Oh, and your second question, do I wake up with my hair like this? Yes. Yes, I do. I don't know how, but Chi-chi tried combing it down one time,
and she broke several of her combs, plus it has "taken on the characteristics of dreds". That's what she said. Dunno what she means.

Why did I get my tail cut off? Well, most of the time it happened when I was asleep, but then Kami-sama told me he couldn't put the moon back together unless I got it taken off. That was because I turn into a big monkey and wreck stuff with it on. I really don't want to hurt anybody, so I don't want it back.

Sometimes I wear red. I guess everybody has different clothes they like. Gohan likes to dress up like Piccolo! Hee hee hee, that's funny! Chi-chi doesn't like it, though.

You hate me? Whaaaiiiiyyyyeee? What did I ever do to you? Did I kill someone you knew? WAAAHHH! I'm SSSOOO SORRY! I didn't mean to hurt anyone! REALLY! I'M SO SORRY! "Goku, you don't know if you did anything to make her hate you! She could just hate you for no reason"
Oh, you mean like Keisei?
"...Yes, like Keisei. Now, finish your letter"
Okay! Hey, I got a question! Who's Ra? Is he someone I know? Hey! I love eating too! Especially when Chi-chi cooks a big buffet.
"Goku, it's called a banquet. Baaanqueeet"
It's SO good! I'll tell Gohan and Goten that another girl who hates me said hello, and to tell them they're cute!

"DAD!"

Penguins are cute! Yay! Chi-chi, now I want a penguin!

"NO!"

Aaawww, Chi-chi, come on!

"-Sighs- Goku, you'd better finish your letter."

Oh, yeah! Bye, Kayla! Thanks for writing to me!

Goku

P.S.: This letter has been edited for grammer and over-all coherence by me, Gohan, and my mom, Chi-chi.

P.P.S.: Goten thinks you sound cute, and wants your phone numbe-r-GOTEN!