Disclaimer: Lori is mine; Legolas and Haldir are Tolkiens, savvy?
This is my first story. Please tell me if you like
Middle Earth 1236
Lori was incredibly angry about what she just heard. She had to go tell Whit about what happened, knowing that Chris wasn't going to do much good in the state she was in. Lori slammed opened the door. Whatever the rest of the group was doing they stopped and looked at Lori.
"What's wrong Lori?" asked Whit.
"Something so horrible you wouldn't even believe," said Lori with a sarcastic smile.
"The Russians attacked France?" asked Whit.
"Not quiet..." said Lori as she thought about what Whit said, " Although that would be fun to watch," she said then snapping out of it, " No! Okay here's the thing, Miss. Breck is principle of the academy!"
"NO!" exclaimed Whit
"My reaction exactly," said Lori.
"What does this mean?" asked the king.
"Either she's going to turn out like Hitler or she's going to turn out like Hitler, and either way it is a no win situation," explained Lori.
"Who is Hitler?" asked Legolas.
"Three words: Evil, mean dictator," said Lori.
"Doesn't mean and evil mean the same thing?" asked Haldir.
"Well if it did then it wouldn't be three words, now would it?" said Lori.
"HUH? You lost me somewhere around 'three words'," said Whit.
"Whit you lost me somewhere around sixth grade, it's no surprise now," said Lori.
"So what are we to do about this predicament?" asked the king.
Whit turned to him and said,
"Really ya'll can't do anything. We have to go save our school!"
"Cut it out Whit," said Chris.
"WHAT?" asked Whit.
"Quite trying to be the hero!"
"I'm not trying to be the hero. I'm trying to be the heroine," explained Whit.
"You're on crack?!" asked Chris.
"Not that kind of heroine!" exclaimed Whit "The girls hero."
"Why didn't you say so?" asked Chris.
"Because that is what you call a girl hero," said Lori.
"How come the word heroine is longer than the word hero? And how come what you call guys is shorter than what you would call a girl?" asked Chris.
Everyone turned toward her and said,
"WHAT?"
"You know, female is longer than male, heroine is longer than hero, I just don't get it?"
"Really it is simple to understand..." started Calid, but then Lori interrupted.
"Hey guys, when did we get off subject?"
"When Chris asked her question," answered Taylor.
"Okay we got to figure out what to do," said Whit going from extremely stupid and... Whit, to being serious and... not Whit.
Lori sat down and started to think like the rest of them. The servants came and took everything away as they sat there and thought about what to do. 'Well we can't do anything here. We're going to have to go back. And then we can send T to prison and then we won't have to worry about him, so I guess that is okay. What about Legolas? He is going to be devastated! Heart broken! Aww CRAP!' thought Lori.
Meanwhile, Whit was thinking, 'I like cheese. Wait, this isn't what I'm supposed to be thinking about. What am I supposed to be thinking about? Oh yeah, the Breck incident! I'm a genius! Let's just court marshal her and be done with it,' thought Whit. 'Wait, what about Haldir? I CAN'T BE WITHOUT HIM! What if he comes with us? No, if I bring Haldir, Lori is going to want to bring Legolas, and then Chris is going to want an elf, and so on. I can't start that. I also like Coco Puffs!'
"Well I hope everyone has some good ideas!" Lori said to break the silence. "Whit."
"Huh?"
"Any ideas?"
"Uh... how 'bout we either court marshal her or we could send out trained killers and make it look like Iraqi terrorist did it," suggested Whit.
Lori sat there nodding her head and said,
"Anything else?"
"Yeah," said Whit, "I like cheese and Coco Puffs!"
"Whit you are the reason blonds are so stupid!" said Chris.
"WHAT?" said all of the blond elves.
"It's a thing we have going in America. Blonds are basically stupid and stupid," explained Lori. "So it's nothing against ya'll, it's our thing."
"I have a blond joke!" yelled Taylor.
"Go!" said Whit.
"Why aren't there any blond jokes about guys?" asked Taylor.
"I don't know, why?" asked Whit.
"Because then they wouldn't be jokes!" concluded Taylor.
All of the American girls laughed because they understood it. The elves just cracked a smile. 'At least we got something out of them,' thought Lori.
"I agree with Whit," said Lori.
"REALLY?" asked Whit.
"Except for the second part."
"Darn it!" said Whit as she snapped her finger.
"So what does this mean?" asked Legolas.
Lori looked at him with the most innocent look she could give him and said,
"We're probably going to have to go back to set things straight."
"What?" asked Legolas distressed.
"Legolas, look, I don't want her to be running the school. I don't want kids after me to have to put up with her. It's something I have to do," explained Lori.
He looked at the ground. He didn't say anything. Haldir was holding Whit and talking to her in elvish.
"I don't understand a word you are saying, but I like it," Whit said to Haldir.
Suddenly Lori realized that she was just going there to kick Breck and T to the curb. What was everyone crying about?
"Wait a minute. We're coming back, so why are you so down in the dumps?" asked Lori.
"Because I do not know what is in your world. There is a war going on, how do I know you are not going to be hurt in this war?" Legolas asked looking into Lori's eyes.
Lori smiled and said,
"You're just so sweet. First off, I know what is in my world, and I can handle it. Second off, the War in Iraq is in Iraq. Iraq is on the other side of the world, across many oceans. So don't worry, everything is going to be fine."
"How do I know?" asked Legolas still not convinced.
"Because I'm Lori, and Lori can take care of her self," said Lori.
A/N Hey guys! I'm kind of in a hyper mood at the moment. I'm also listening to Garth Brooks 'Friends in Low Places'. It is actually pretty funny... like I didn't know that before! There are really mean people out there who say that I haven't read the books and that I don't know one thing about being a fan. Well, they have another thing comin' to them. I do know what I'm talking about. And I will keep writing until this story is done (which is going to be like, in a loonnngg time). Well, tell me what you think about this chapter in a REVIEW! Did you know I like REVIEWS? (Do you get my message)? I want you to REVIEW!!!!! Thank you come again!
This is my first story. Please tell me if you like
Middle Earth 1236
Lori was incredibly angry about what she just heard. She had to go tell Whit about what happened, knowing that Chris wasn't going to do much good in the state she was in. Lori slammed opened the door. Whatever the rest of the group was doing they stopped and looked at Lori.
"What's wrong Lori?" asked Whit.
"Something so horrible you wouldn't even believe," said Lori with a sarcastic smile.
"The Russians attacked France?" asked Whit.
"Not quiet..." said Lori as she thought about what Whit said, " Although that would be fun to watch," she said then snapping out of it, " No! Okay here's the thing, Miss. Breck is principle of the academy!"
"NO!" exclaimed Whit
"My reaction exactly," said Lori.
"What does this mean?" asked the king.
"Either she's going to turn out like Hitler or she's going to turn out like Hitler, and either way it is a no win situation," explained Lori.
"Who is Hitler?" asked Legolas.
"Three words: Evil, mean dictator," said Lori.
"Doesn't mean and evil mean the same thing?" asked Haldir.
"Well if it did then it wouldn't be three words, now would it?" said Lori.
"HUH? You lost me somewhere around 'three words'," said Whit.
"Whit you lost me somewhere around sixth grade, it's no surprise now," said Lori.
"So what are we to do about this predicament?" asked the king.
Whit turned to him and said,
"Really ya'll can't do anything. We have to go save our school!"
"Cut it out Whit," said Chris.
"WHAT?" asked Whit.
"Quite trying to be the hero!"
"I'm not trying to be the hero. I'm trying to be the heroine," explained Whit.
"You're on crack?!" asked Chris.
"Not that kind of heroine!" exclaimed Whit "The girls hero."
"Why didn't you say so?" asked Chris.
"Because that is what you call a girl hero," said Lori.
"How come the word heroine is longer than the word hero? And how come what you call guys is shorter than what you would call a girl?" asked Chris.
Everyone turned toward her and said,
"WHAT?"
"You know, female is longer than male, heroine is longer than hero, I just don't get it?"
"Really it is simple to understand..." started Calid, but then Lori interrupted.
"Hey guys, when did we get off subject?"
"When Chris asked her question," answered Taylor.
"Okay we got to figure out what to do," said Whit going from extremely stupid and... Whit, to being serious and... not Whit.
Lori sat down and started to think like the rest of them. The servants came and took everything away as they sat there and thought about what to do. 'Well we can't do anything here. We're going to have to go back. And then we can send T to prison and then we won't have to worry about him, so I guess that is okay. What about Legolas? He is going to be devastated! Heart broken! Aww CRAP!' thought Lori.
Meanwhile, Whit was thinking, 'I like cheese. Wait, this isn't what I'm supposed to be thinking about. What am I supposed to be thinking about? Oh yeah, the Breck incident! I'm a genius! Let's just court marshal her and be done with it,' thought Whit. 'Wait, what about Haldir? I CAN'T BE WITHOUT HIM! What if he comes with us? No, if I bring Haldir, Lori is going to want to bring Legolas, and then Chris is going to want an elf, and so on. I can't start that. I also like Coco Puffs!'
"Well I hope everyone has some good ideas!" Lori said to break the silence. "Whit."
"Huh?"
"Any ideas?"
"Uh... how 'bout we either court marshal her or we could send out trained killers and make it look like Iraqi terrorist did it," suggested Whit.
Lori sat there nodding her head and said,
"Anything else?"
"Yeah," said Whit, "I like cheese and Coco Puffs!"
"Whit you are the reason blonds are so stupid!" said Chris.
"WHAT?" said all of the blond elves.
"It's a thing we have going in America. Blonds are basically stupid and stupid," explained Lori. "So it's nothing against ya'll, it's our thing."
"I have a blond joke!" yelled Taylor.
"Go!" said Whit.
"Why aren't there any blond jokes about guys?" asked Taylor.
"I don't know, why?" asked Whit.
"Because then they wouldn't be jokes!" concluded Taylor.
All of the American girls laughed because they understood it. The elves just cracked a smile. 'At least we got something out of them,' thought Lori.
"I agree with Whit," said Lori.
"REALLY?" asked Whit.
"Except for the second part."
"Darn it!" said Whit as she snapped her finger.
"So what does this mean?" asked Legolas.
Lori looked at him with the most innocent look she could give him and said,
"We're probably going to have to go back to set things straight."
"What?" asked Legolas distressed.
"Legolas, look, I don't want her to be running the school. I don't want kids after me to have to put up with her. It's something I have to do," explained Lori.
He looked at the ground. He didn't say anything. Haldir was holding Whit and talking to her in elvish.
"I don't understand a word you are saying, but I like it," Whit said to Haldir.
Suddenly Lori realized that she was just going there to kick Breck and T to the curb. What was everyone crying about?
"Wait a minute. We're coming back, so why are you so down in the dumps?" asked Lori.
"Because I do not know what is in your world. There is a war going on, how do I know you are not going to be hurt in this war?" Legolas asked looking into Lori's eyes.
Lori smiled and said,
"You're just so sweet. First off, I know what is in my world, and I can handle it. Second off, the War in Iraq is in Iraq. Iraq is on the other side of the world, across many oceans. So don't worry, everything is going to be fine."
"How do I know?" asked Legolas still not convinced.
"Because I'm Lori, and Lori can take care of her self," said Lori.
A/N Hey guys! I'm kind of in a hyper mood at the moment. I'm also listening to Garth Brooks 'Friends in Low Places'. It is actually pretty funny... like I didn't know that before! There are really mean people out there who say that I haven't read the books and that I don't know one thing about being a fan. Well, they have another thing comin' to them. I do know what I'm talking about. And I will keep writing until this story is done (which is going to be like, in a loonnngg time). Well, tell me what you think about this chapter in a REVIEW! Did you know I like REVIEWS? (Do you get my message)? I want you to REVIEW!!!!! Thank you come again!
