Bean shut his eyes, and began to breathe. In and out. He counted his breaths, counted to eight and then started all over again. It was easy and he could do it for hours. Best to keep his mind on counting breaths. It slowed his thoughts, eased them, and let them flow by, as a gentle stream, not the ferocious waterfall he knew they would be, were he to take his mind away from breathing. For there was someone else breathing, breathing right beside him. He almost smiled at the thought before mentally kicking himself. All thoughts of counting breaths were lost now. Besides, he'd be interrupted by the breather beside him, right beside him, and close enough to….
No. He would not think of Ender that way, he refused. Ender was not his love, Ender was his commander, his hero, his role model. Always higher than he, never equals. Of course. Because that was how it always has been, and Bean was never one for optimism. Optimism had always left him hurting, where pessimism had always had him prepared. Bean had no reason to believe his relationship with Ender would change, and even if it did, that would bring a whole slew of its own problems. Not that Bean wouldn't welcome the change with open arms. Smiling at the thought, Bean half turned in his sleep, rolling on to his side and rustling the covers ever so slightly. Of course Ender knew Bean had moved. He'd been watching Bean's every movement and listening to his extremely regular breathing. That's right, regular. Not special or extraordinary or gifted. Bean had the capability to do something normal. The fact astonished and frightened him at the same time that it consoled him. Bean, the smartest human in the history of the world, had a scrap of mediocrity, normalcy, regularity. He breathes normally, so there's gotta be something else normal about him thought Ender, silently laughing at the thought. Why did he care whether Bean was normal or not? What would he gain for noticing that Bean not only breathed regularly, but slept and ate the same way? Why did it matter? It did matter though, and Ender didn't know why he cared about the breathing habits of the person beside him. For now, it would just have to suffice that he did care. For whatever reason, Ender cared about Bean's breathing. He chuckled inwardly
I really did go insane out here, didn't I?
Of course, no one answered. It wasn't a question with an answer, and there was no one else in his head to answer it. Pity. Ender really did need someone to keep him in line.
A/N: So I know this chapter kinda sucks…but…I felt like I needed to put something out there. Also, I need a beta (or several) cause uh…I suck…
Thanks to bobbyneko, AshenSkies, DisIllusions, SilverGryphin, and hermia's wings for reviewing. I really appreciate the feedback reviews, so pleeeeaaaase review.
