A/n: please reread chapter 1 as I have done some changes

XOXOXOX

Ten years after T.W.T.G (twit with the glasses) had been found on the doorstep, he was under the employment of His Uncle, It was his responsibility to aid Mrs Pigg in her Favourite past time, which was not playing bingo, although she did often shout this exclamation of success, (You may want to cast your mind back to the first chapter).

Doodle was currently in hospital after he had 'accidentally rolled around in petrol and lit a match.'

The neighbours had finally got curtains, Mr Dumbarse had lost two more cats, and Mrs Dumbarse had let herself go, so much so that if doodle the rabid child bit her she'd pop. Mr Dumbarse existed entirely on a diet of baked beans and coke. This meant they could not go on their skiing trip for fear that he may get a touch of the windy pops and cause an avalanche.

It fell upon a warm July morning; Larry was 'Attending' to Mrs Pigg. I can't really be bothered to go through it all but he ended up having a conversation with an overused, erm, how can I put it... part of Mrs Piggs Anatomy.

He thought about this all day, and no not because he liked the sight, but because he was confused about how he managed to get it to open it's lips and speak. Was it that his destiny in life was to let, erm, erm... well you know whats, pour out their innermost thoughts to him?

And then this random idiot with a big head popped out and said "Pie, Pie, Apple Pie. Pie, Pie, Apple Pie."

(A/N: This is actually supposed to be my friend who is an extra in the Hp movie. I get to know all the stars emails :D)

Several weeks later

Larry 'Twit with the glasses' Rotter was currently serving dinner to the Dumbarse family. Well all except Doodle who had been confined in the attic after the Nobby had 'accidentally' shut the trap door, locked in and sold the key to a 90 year old Russian belly dancer who had just happened to be walking outside the Dumbarses house.

Larry had to shove Doodles measly portions through the small attic window at the top of the house, not that these so called 'portions' were actual food. They were a bit more along the lines of a half eaten, mouldy bit of cheese with a nice healthy dollop of rat poison. For dessert Doodle was given a small bit of 'Nuclear waste flavour ice-cream', which later turned out to be excess waste from the near by orphanage.

Suddenly a HUGE TV screen appeared on Nobby's Arse, and a film started to play, not that Larry could see the picture as it was obscured by the large amount of fat that had accumulated due to Nobby's eating habits over the few seconds that had passed since its appearance. Suddenly Nobby's face contorted into a grimace and let rip a fart that if it were not for the HUGE fan that was constantly stuck to Nobby Dumbarses trousers, and the respirators that Chow Phat, The cats and Larry always wore (The Dumbarses didn't care for Doodle), they would be dead.

The screen flew from Nobby's rear like a bat out of hell, and out stepped a Large man (He had nothing on Nobby though) The man wore a pink skin-tight cat suit and carried a sack over his arm

"Yo ho ho merry Christmas". The giant man said.

He then put a large hand into his sack and drew out a couple of copies of Nuts and Zoo Weekly and threw then at Nobby and Chow Phat. The two perverts were too engrossed to notice what was happening around them.

"Hello Larry, I just popped by to give you your birthday present."

Larry ripped open the, yes you guessed it, PINK rapping paper to find a large selection of 80's music a Brittany spears album as well as War and Peace a set of bongos and a beret

"Oh and by the way" He leaned up close and spoke in a raspy voice "You're a warty pig Larry"

Larry was in shock. He had never been so insulted in his life, but it was not that he was so shocked about, it was the fact that he had found something smellier than Mrs Piggs second 'mouth'