Over the next few months. Things went peacefully for Larry and his 'friends' well 1 friend and 1 tagalong with dodgy hair. When they had first arrived the students had been forced to put on a mouldy jesters hat called the sod it hat (It was called this as it was the only thing it spoke, not that most hats could speak but this one was a magical hat) its job was to sort you into one of the 4 houses at Warty Hogs.
The houses were Grinning floor (For the pranksters and jokers), Sugar puff (For the groups of students who idolized the cereal), Raving door (For the wild ones) and last but not least Steal the ring (For the ones who ended up living in caves muttering about bagginses and added precious to every sentence)
Larry as well as his friends was put in Grinning floor. Drinking Madly as well as Crap and Gurgle were put in Steal the ring (!)
The only interesting thing so far was that on Halloween a pole broke in and kept tripping everybody up until Larry and Runt managed to stop it by luring it into a furnace. Needless to say, Larry now had a new piece of "merchandise" for his uncle.
XOXOXOXOX
Today was a special day for people worldwide, today was an event that would only happen once... It was Christmas Day 1991!
Larry awoke to find his roommates Shemale Fingerme, Nolife Fatbottom, Bean Bommahouse and Runt all sitting around his bed with their heads bowed
"What the hell are you doing" Larry asked
"We are giving thanks to the God of Warty Pigs, Bilbo for delivering us our presents
this year" replied the worshippers in unison
"Dude... Everyone knows that Bilbo doesn't exist... its Gandalf wearing a big red coat who delivers them"
"Noo..." stammered Runt "Its not possible, it cant be"
Runt quickly decided to make an exit by jumping out of the tower window
After a few moments of silence:
"Won't that hurt him abit" asked Nolife?
"Nahhhh" said Shemale "He forgot about the balcony"
Camera pans away from the group and shows Runt's mangled body laying on the balcony 2cm below (I say mangled because, well I mean LOOK AT HIM! LOOK AT HIM! His body has been mangled since his poor mother gave birth to him"
"What the fk was that about" asked Larry pointing to the bit of text above
"Its called the ceiling idiot" replied Bean
Suddenly the door burst open and in walked Humping Grunger (Also known as Bushy Haired Know-it-all With Big Rabbit Teeth Like Doodle The Rabid Childs or BHKWBRTLDTRC for short)
"What the hell are you doing here" asked Shemale
"... I live here"
"No you don't" said Larry
"Oh... Ill be going then. By the way Larry heres a secret package with a label saying FOR YOUR EYES ONLY, TOP SECRET and DO NOT OPEN. It was left in the middle of the great hall (AKA Pig trough room or PTR) by a man with an upturned collar, dark glasses and a suit. Being the inquisitive little bitch I am I decided to open it in front of everyone.
Inside were a handkerchief and a not saying
This was your fathers, he blew his nose on it 30 years ago and it disappeared. It only reappeared when we dug up his body yesterday to pinch his teeth when we found it jammed up his left nostril. I think it has the power to make you invisible.
From A Friend
"Wow" said Larry "I shall keep it with me always" Larry then proceeded to open up the already opened package and took out the handkerchief. He unfolded it to be greeted by a smell that knocked him as well as half of Hogwarts, out cold.
Miles away in a little red house, with a little red door and a little red... You get the picture... a man lifted his stubbly nose and sniffed
"BONK LIVES AGAIN"
XOXOXOXOX
Breakfast that day was a very quiet affair. Most of the students had decided to flee Hogwarts that morning due to the smell of the newly released 30-year-old snot.
The only people who had stayed were Drooling, (He had gotton used to the smell hanging around with Grap and Gurgle), Crap, Gurgle, Shemale, Bean and Runt. Humping had decided to make a last stand against the Handkerchief with a hairspray can but had fled from the evil smell of DOOM tm.
Bumble-on-about-nothing had also stayed, enjoying the smell. Suddenly it hid Larry!
"Ouch! What the hell was that for" Larry exclaimed, wiping drool off his face
"Ummmm, My bad" asked Drooling
XOXOXOXOXOXOX
Not much happened after that
Unless you count Larry saving the school against the evil power of lord Fanny rash by...
FLASHBACK
(Star wars music in the back ground)
(note this scene is taken from star wars gangsta rap (http: atomfilms. shockwave. Com /af /content /gangstarapse) without the spaces) )
Fannyrash/Queery: Impressive, now release your anger
You must have sensed that your friends were in danger
Larry: Owwww... why039;d yo try to strangle me!
Fannyrash/Queery: It039;s imperative that you understand
Bumble-on would never bother
Telling you about your father
Larry: He told me enough he told me you killed him
Fannyrash/Queery: Then there039;s something I must reveal then
Chorus:
I039;m your father... I039;m your father... (4x)
Runt : Knock him out the box Larry, knock him out...
Knock him out the box Larry, knock him out...
Larry draws the MEGA SMELLY HANKERCHEIF OF DOOM tm
Fannyrash/Queery: NOOOOOOO! IM MELTING IM MELTING
END FLASH BACK
Larry and his friends were now sitting on the train suddenly it stopped
"ARGHHHHHH THEVE FOUND ME" Larry screamed "NOW THERE GOING TO KILL ME ARGHHHHHHH"
"Chill out dude" said Shemale "We're at the platform"
"Ohhhh"
And with that ended the first chapter... Of the legend of Larry Rotter
A/n:
Its finally over! Watch out for the next part...
!LARRY ROTTER WILL RETURN!
Right now...
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOUR NOT LEAVING ME WITH THEM SAVE ME RUNT, HUMPING, DROOLING ANYONE" Larry is continued to be dragged off by his uncle
A/N I have only one thing to ask of all those who read this. Please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please review. Just click the little icon down in the left hand corner of the screen. Thank you, see ya next chapter
