OMG ITS FINALLY HERE SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADUE THE UN BETAED OR EDITED PREVIEW OF THE NEXT BOOK!
A/n: (very long)
NOTE: Special thanks to the fewpeople who decided to review my last story: Glares at rest of readers. I KNOW WHERE YOU LVE BWAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA chokes
Dies
Random reader #1 of 4: oh well….. lets hijack the story
B-d: NO! its minezzzz my ownsssss my precious…..
RR#1: Sure….. ill be going now…. Go play with your friends…..
BD: I don't have any friends, will you be my friend?
RR#1: ummmmmmm….. nooooo
B-d: please
RR#1: no
B-d: please
RR#1: no
B-d: please
RR#1: no
B-d: please
RR#1: no
B-d: please
RR#1: no
Rest of readers: SHUT UP ALREADY!
Bd:Its his fault pouts
RR1: is not
B-d: is too……..
Rest of readers: SHUT UP
B-d: but….
Rest of readers: SHUT UP
B-d: but….
Rest of readers: SHUT UP
B-d: but…. FINE NO CHAPTER TH…
Rest of readers: SHUT UP
EXIT B-D
ROR:………… bob its all your fault
Rr2: bob its all your fault
RR1 (Bob) IS not
Rr2 is too
RR1 (Bob) IS not
Rr2 is too
GET THE HELL ON WITH THE STORY!
Wait im the one typing this crap…. Oh well onto part 2 prolouge….
Harry POTTER THEME TUNE Shots of Hogwarts, Hagrid, Harry, Draco, Ginny, Michael Jackson
B-d: Screw that lets do something more fun:
END A/N
XOXOXOX
LARRY ROTTER AND THE CHAMPER POT OF Sprunk
Also known as Larry Rotter vs. the trouser snake of DOOM tm
Once upon a time there lived a very athletic man named Chubba-flubber. He will die before his 122131243213123th birthday so he isn't important
No 4. pervert drive was home to… you guessed it….. HUMANS! No really it was a human beings habitat. Anyways this family was an odd one (Or average if you live in Femmieuania, population one)
Inside the home lived two very fat Humans, a Human/ god knows what hybrid 3 very obese cats and a very scary individual by the name of Larry Rotter.
Now Larry was not a normal boy, yes he did have all the right 'equipment' but there was something else…. A dark dark secret.
Larry Rotter was a hitman for hire by day/ male whore by night. When he wasn't on a job (or giving one) he could be found sitting in his room an no.4 pervert drive muttering about Bagginses.
Larry's other dark secret was that he really should have been put in steal the ring.
Oh and by the way Larry Rotter is a warty pig and can cast magic shells at people by putting the shell on the olive and lobbing it at some random squirrel………
Suddenly a random creature appeared In front of him……
"LARRY ROTTER MUST NOT GO BACK TO WARTYHOGS! Nob jockey has come to warn you sir!"
"Shove off muchkin" Larry preceded to tie the creature up in duct tape, put a cherry in its mouth before leaving it outside doodles "Room".
The bloody mess left behind took chow-phat some 43 hours to clean, part of this was because 42 of them were spend trying to bend down.
XOXOX
Larry was sitting inside what his so called family called his "bedroom" (which in actual fact was an unused ensuite bathroom (thank fully it was not connected to any of the bedrooms anymore) when a random popping noise signalled the appearance of a small hairy bearded garden gnome
"LARRY ROTTER MUST NOT GO BACK TO WARTYHOGS! Mr Frodo has come to warn you sir!"
"NOT THIS AGAIN" screamed Larry as he dropped kicked the midgit out of the window, however just as it was about to hit the ground time seemed to slow as the gnome whent into bullet( or olive if you were a warthy pig) time and jumped back into the ensuite.
"Damn it! Why the hell don't you die!"
"Frodo is not a football! slips on spectacles, it says in passage 183 line 289 that on no account may Frodo be mistaken as a common gnome, a hobbit and most certainly NOT a football" it paused "… or be taken as an expendable character. Aforementioned law is designed to not kill off Frodo before he cecomes a main…I what the flamingo are you doing!"
"This" said Larry before plunging the sharpened spoon into Frodos cranium
"Ohh…. Ma dear giddy aunt…"
XOXOXOX
A few days later and Larry mysteriously found himself in the middle of a dump. Suddenly from inside a bin a rubbish covered Runt jumped out of a bin, sending the lid careering on a one way tip to Larrys cranium.
"Oh hello larry… it seems you have stumbled upon….
Suddenly a random group of clown haired freaks mentioned in passing in whatchamacalits rock jumped up and began singing in a chorus of very off key voices:
Father wears his soiled vest
Mother's tired she needs a rest
The kids are playing up downstairs
Sister's slurping in her sleep
Brother's never had date to keep
He's not even had a round
Our house, at the bottom of the bin
Our house, at the bottom of tha
Our house it has a crowd
There's always something happening
And it's usually quite loud
Our mum she's such a sex-hound
Nothing ever slows her down
And a mess is never allowed
"Runt get those cum stains off my sheets"
"Yes mum"
Our house, at the bottom of the bin
Our house, at the bottom of tha
Our house, at the bottom of the bin
Our house, at the bottom of tha
Something tells you that you've got to get away from it
Father gets it up at work
Mother has to iron his shirt
Then she sends the kids to school
Sees them off with a small kiss
She's the one they're never going to miss
In lots of ways
"Hey!"
Our house, at the bottom of the bin
Our house, at the bottom of tha
I remember way back then when everything was true and when
We would have such a very good time such a fine time
Such a happy time
And I remember how we'd play simply waste the day away
Then we'd say nothing would come between us two dreamers
Father wears his soiled vest
Mother's tired she needs a rest
The kids are playing up downstairs
Sister's slurping in her sleep
Brother's never had date to keep
He's not even had a round
Our house, at the bottom of the bin
Our house, at the bottom of tha
Our house, at the bottom of the bin
Our house, at the bottom of tha
Our bin, was our castle and our keep
Our house, at the bottom of the bin
The dump, that was where we used to sleep
Our house, at the bottom of the bin
Our house, at the bottom of the bin
XOXOX
It was September the 1st and Larry was standing outside the Warthog mobile. A small trailer convoy linked together by the occupants tails. Suddenly a random pig kicked him and he flew away from the "train" and crashed through the brick wall. Suddenly the "train" randomly left.
"Oh well" said Runt who had appeared behind him "Well have to take the flying carpet!"
XOXOX
Many hours later the arrived at Wartyhogs…. Only after crashing into the whipping-widow. She had detained them in her private torture cell for a bit until releasing them.
