Have you ever?
The wind swirled around the pair, the cold March air biting through both of them. Dawson's face was frozen, his expression as confused as his emotions. Standing in front of him was the love of his life but, with equal measure, the woman who abandoned him.
She looked different. Different in a major way, not the slight change that he and the others had undertaken. Her hair was much shorter than he had ever seen it, layered around her jaw line in sections, flicked up at the back. She was dressed casually but yet stylishly, smart tweed jacket over a pair of smart jeans.
The stood there like statues of their former selves, returned the place it all began. Joey could also see the day when the pair of them parted ways at the train station in Boston, saying goodbye for what felt like the hundredth time that year.
'Hi,' he said cautiously.
'Hey,'
'I was here to pick up Alex…' he began and then realised what had happened.
'…I get the feeling we may have been tricked,' she said, almost in a whisper.
'Yeah…I think maybe Mom and Bess might have too much time on their hands,' he laughed softly.
Joey laughed too. He looked so different from when she saw him all those years ago, different from how he looked on the TV.
'I'm sorry to hear about Aunt Gwen…that's why I came,' she said, suddenly remembering the whole reason for being here.
'How did you know about Aunt Gwen?' Dawson said panicked. The thought that she had come all from way from New York for Aunt Gwen warmed him.
'Hmmm….Gretchen was on TV and said you came home for a family emergency. Bessie told me that is was Gwen. Is she okay?'
'Ummm, I'll tell you on the way home…that is, if you don't mind accepting a lift?' Dawson offered carefully.
Joey remained still, her mind racing at a hundred miles per hour.
'I'm sorry, I'll get Bodie to get you…I was just….' Dawson said, turning to go back to the car.
'No wait. A lift would be great,' she said confidently.
He smiled the boyish smile that made her heart melt. He hadn't had his teeth bleached like Gretchen, Joey noted.
Gretchen…..
The almost euphoric feeling that was surging through her stopped at the thought of his wife. Being back in this place had almost tricked her into thinking it was the past.
Remember why you did what you did Joey, never forget.
Dawson opened the door and took Joey's bag from the place by her feet. She climbed into the car and suddenly felt shivers go down her spine. She jumped when the trunk closed. She jumped further when she heard the click on the driver's door.
He climbed in and started the engine, trying to not look at her sitting beside him.
They were silent. Not that there wasn't anything to say, but there was no way to say it.
'So, Capeside never changes huh?' he offered.
'No,'
'I haven't been back in years and it's like I never left,' Dawson chuckled under his breath.
Joey turned and looked at him. He was desperately trying to talk to her, she knew.
'I know what you mean. I haven't been home for months,' she lied. It was actually years as well.
'I noticed.' He said quietly, turning to smile at her warmly.
How could it be like this? Why is he so easy in my company?
'So Aunt Gwen? Bessie wouldn't tell me….' Joey started.
'It's not true. I needed some time off from Hollywood and so I lied about a family emergency. I'm sorry if you were worried,' He had completely forgotten the effect that his lies would have had on other people. He hoped that his mom had called Gwen to let her know.
'Oh I see. Where's Gretchen?' Joey asked.
'Umm….she was too busy really and she had so much on… I just needed some space you know?' he lied, looking over at her concerned expression.
She knew he was lying. She always could tell.
'Oh okay. So how long you home for?'
'I don't know yet. Could be a week, could be a month.' Dawson answered breezily. Or at least what he thought was breezily. 'You?'
'Well I'm on sabbatical so however long I want really.'
Silence fell on the car once again and remained until they pulled up outside the B&B.
'Thank you for the ride, I appreciate it,' She didn't know what else to say.
'Not a problem. Always one for a damsel in distress.' Dawson smiled at her.
The lights were off in the B&B and when she clicked them on, the vision of home flooded her brain. She was on the verge of tears. All the loneliness, all the heartache. Being home made it all too clear to her.
'So, I'm around if you want to… hey? What's wrong,' Dawson saw hat Joey was visibly shaken with the vision of home.
'I'm…..it's okay……just nice to be…..I missed…' she stuttered and raise her hand to her mouth to muffle her sobs.
Dawson then did the one thing he knew he shouldn't, but the one thing he instinctively would always do. He took her in his arms and held her tightly. Her sobbing increased, grabbing at his shirt for comfort. He smelt the same, although he was a lot skinner than before, his scent was the same as when they were young. She closed her eyes tightly and hoped it was not a dream.
Dawson, for his part, had his eyes closed tightly too. She felt so good in his arms; everything he had been missing with Gretchen was here. All the affection he had been storing for years flooded out as he increased his grip on her.
Her sobbing had receded now and she nuzzled into his neck, just like she used to do. He stroked her hair, it actually longer than he thought it was.
She raised her head and looked up. Their eyes met, the electricity sparked between them. The familiar music played in both of their minds, intoxicating the moment.
'Aunt Joey!' Alex suddenly appeared at his bedroom door, the young child she knew replaced by the growing boy he had become.
'Alex!' she tore herself away from Dawson and held her arms open, Alex running towards her and jumping into her arms.
'I missed you so much Aunt Joey, are you here to visit?'
'Yes Alex, yes I am,' she closed her eyes and held him close.
'I better be…you know where I am if you wanna meet up? I'd like to catch up' Dawson interrupted, feeling suddenly very conscious of what had almost happened.
Joey let go of Alex and turned to face him. 'I'd like that too.'
'How about lunch? I know mom could handle a couple of extra customers?' he offered hopefully.
'Okay. 1.00pm?'
'I will see you there. Bye Alex' he waved at the boy, who had since got bored and switched on the TV.
'bye…' he said distractedly.
'See you tomorrow then,' he said, turning his attention to Joey for the last time.
'Yeah, bye,' she mumbled, leading him to the door and closing it behind him before he could turn around. She peaked around the lace curtains as he got into the car and drove away.
What I'm I doing…
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The next morning provided no clearer answer for Joey.
After a lengthily conversation…well argument…with Bessie about meddling in her life, Joey took the old, rusting truck and drove into town. She was early, but she wanted to see the town. She had missed it, well not missed it as such. She was curious to see what had become of the town, maybe some of the people she had left behind. Although there were some people she was less keen on seeing than others.
Driving past the lanes that lead to Pacey's restaurant, she drove a little quicker than she should of. She didn't hate him, that wasn't it. In a way, he was just doing what they were both bound to do eventually. It just hurt still. She still remembered the day she came home, slowly turning her key in the lock not wake him, because he had been working nights.
And there he was, with Andie, on her couch.
That was what had upset her most. She knew that if she had ever considered cheating on him, she wouldn't have brought it back to her flat, let alone her partners.
'Gee, was nothing on TV Pace? You should have let me know, I would have rented a movie for the pair of you,' she had said after a few moments staring in disbelief.
'Shit…Joey! What are you doing back….' Pacey said, hurriedly covering himself and Andie with a nearby throw.
'Oh you know, I wanted to come home to my tired boyfriend, maybe take him out for dinner. Silly me, I should have known he would be banging his ex girlfriend on my couch,' Joey walked over to the bedroom and pulled his overnight bag from under her bed.
'Joey….I can explain, it's not…' Pacey had started but stopped when she returned to the room with his bag and coat.
'I'm going to go to Audrey's. I will be back in 4 hours. I expect you to have collected you stuff, deleted you number from my speedial, redirected your mail, left your key on the table and got the hell out of my apartment and my life for good. I made a mistake on that road trip, a mistake at that supermarket and a mistake in your kitchen in Capeside. I never want to make that mistake again.' She said calmly.
She turned to the door and swiftly turned the handle. She turned one more time and looked at the two. Pacey looked shell shocked while Andie looked like a kid who had been caught stealing sweets. She held herself together, swung the door opened and quietly closed it behind her on the way out.
She shook her head. The sense of relief that she had escaped all of that was still tinged with anger and hurt. It was penance though, she had reasoned, for everything she had put Dawson through.
She parked the truck up outside Leery's Fresh Fish, waved at a smiling Gail from the car. She closed her eyes quickly, trying to get her breath down to a reasonable pace after reliving the past.
The restaurant was warm and welcoming. It hadn't changed since her school days. The familiarity of it struck her like it had in the B&B, although now she was much more in control of her raging emotions.
'Honey! How are you? God I missed you,' Gail said, swooping her up in a tight hug.
'I'm fine Gail, it's wonderful to see you,' Joey embraced her warmly, the well-known arms comforting her.
'Sorry about the trickery…I just wanted to see you … and Dawson.'
'Well, I've almost forgiven Bessie so I could forgive you. Audrey is another matter.' Joey took a seat at the bar.
'So why are you here so early? Dawson said you weren't meeting till 1?'
'I wanted to talk to you. Bessie said I should. About Dawson,' Joey said in a low voice. Bessie had all but bullied Joey into listening about Dawson's marriage.
'Well what do you need to know?' Gail said, taking two glasses and pouring a drink for them.
'Is he happy?'
Gail went stony silent. She passed Joey her drink and took a deep breath.
'No. He's about as lonely as I've ever seen him. Work wise he's never been happier. Successful film, Oscars, star friends. But he's lonely.' Gail said earnestly. Joey's heart felt like it had been punched.
'What about Gretchen?'
'I know she's my daughter in law and I should remain impartial but…she treats him so badly. He just lets it wash over him. I have no idea why, I know he doesn't love her anymore,'
'Why doesn't he…'
'…leave her? It's not that simple honey,' Gail said darkly, looking around her to make sure no one was listening. 'She's already said she would take everything. He tried to leave her, last year after the Oscars. Dawson's too scared,'
Joey felt the lump in her throat get bigger and bigger. Gail's worried face would have been enough to send her over the edge, if it wasn't for the audience the restaurant provided.
'I know you know what happened between us. Bessie told me. You have to know I didn't do it to hurt him. I did it so he could have the happy ending he's always wanted,'
'The happy ending he's always wanted is with you Joey,'
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Dawson sat on the bench at the end of dock, his coat bundled around him in an attempt to keep warm. It was failing. He was replaying the moment in his mind.
The moment when he almost cheated on his wife.
And it made him sick to the stomach.
He stood up and marched towards his car, taking his frustration out in every step. Throwing himself at the driving seat and starting the engine, his anger almost subsided.
Would anyone blame him? Would anyone really?
He would blame him, he would always blame himself if he did anything. Even if it were with the love of his life.
He rounded the corner onto the main road and his phone began to buzz. It was Gretchen again. She called 4 times that morning but he had been avoiding her calls. He knew he couldn't avoid her forever.
'Dawson Leery'
'What on earth is your personal assistant on about? Why can't you take calls from your wife?
'Sorry. She must have misunderstood. I said no work calls.'
'Yeah, well. The premier went really well. Steven says hi. I was on E apparently.'
'Thanks for asking, Gwen is fine. The family say hello,' Dawson said bitterly, shocked at his wife not caring about what she thought had happened.
'Sorry. I figured cause you didn't call things were okay. So are you home tonight?'
'No, I have to stay and help out for a bit longer,'
'But we have that photo shoot for Oscar Winner's homes.' She whined.
'I've cancelled it. All my engagements are on hold until Gwen is fully recovered.' He said firmly, swinging his car into the parking bay next to the Potter's truck.
'What! Without consulting me? I know that things have been hectic but I would appreciate a heads up.' She huffed down the phone.
'Look, I have a million and one more important things on my plate then some stupid photo shoot. I am going to hang up now and I hope the next time we speak, you show a little more concern and respect,'
'But…' Dawson slammed the phone shut before anything further could be said.
Storming into the restaurant he softened when he saw Joey at the bar. She looked much more relaxed today, casually talking to his mom like it was a thing she did everyday.
'Talking about me then?' he said, planting a soft kiss on his Mom's forehead and a light squeeze on her shoulder.
'I've got better things to do than talk about my Oscar winning son with his highly successful publishing best friend. Oh! My babies have all grown up,' She stood up, making a seat for her son and kissed Joey on the forehead and made her way to the kitchen to watch with interest.
The two sat in silence for a few moments, smiling at each other nervously, Dawson peering over Joey's shoulder to see his mother smiling widely at the kitchen door, trying not to look like she was spying.
'I know we've just got here but…fancy going somewhere else?' Dawson said in a whisper.
'I thought you'd never ask,' Joey replied smiling conspiratorially.
'After three. One…two….'
'Three!' Joey said as they jumped off their bar stools, running out of the restaurant and down to the dockside, laughing like they were school children.
'Well...that's the last time I make them dinner…' Gail mused, smiling widely.
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She looked up as the sound of laughter and footsteps got louder and louder. Looking out the beauty salon window she saw something she thought was impossible.
No, it couldn't be them.
She watched as Joey and Dawson ran down the road before her. Dawson was laughing loudly in a way she hadn't seen him do in years. It warmed her heart.
But why was he here?
She took out her mobile phone and pressed in the familiar number.
'Hey, it's me….yeah thanks….look, did you know that Dawson's in town?... yeah and so is Joey…yes together…no I didn't speak to them, I saw them run past the hairdressers just now…yes it's them, I swear…okay, I'll pop in and see you later…give Amy a cuddle from her aunt…bye Jack,'
She narrowed her eyes as she watched the two disappear around the corner of a building at the end of the street.
'So Mrs Witter, we are ready for you now,' the hairdresser said, interrupting her train of thought.
'Please, call me Andie,'
