Come on Home
'So, how's your hot dog?' Dawson said, lowering himself next to Joey on a bench near the river edge. Since he left, the area had become some what of a town hot spot. Small stalls with fast-food and souvenirs were everywhere, mostly selling Creek memorabilia. Dawson took a big bite into his food, looking over at Joey smiling at him.
'Yummy…not as good as back home but good,' She took another bite and looked out onto the moving river.
'It's still weird to think that New York is your home. You'll always be here in my head.'
'Yeah well, it's the same with me. When I see you on TV, I always do a double take.'
Silence filled the air as it danced with a thousand memories. Images of their lives in Capeside, always interlinked, always together. Their eyes met. The same intense stare they had experienced the night before.
'So…how's life?' Joey offered.
'Don't,'
'What?'
'We have to talk about it Jo. We can't sweep it under the rug like it was nothing,' Dawson stood up and moved towards the bin, taking Joey's rubbish with him.
'I know,' She said quietly, waiting for him to return.
'Why Joey? Why did you run away?' He couldn't look at her, not yet.
'I'm renowned for it, surely you should know by now,' she stood up suddenly, as if physically reinforcing the fact. Moving towards the railing of the riverbank, she laughed softly.
'It's not a joke Joey. It's been torturing me for years. Did I do something? Did I say something wrong?' He followed, his voice almost booming.
She spun around and came face to face with him again. His eyes stern, the anger rising under the surface.
'No…everything was…amazing,'
'Then what?' He softened slightly, images of that evening floating around his mind, blurring his anger.
'I couldn't risk being devastated again. And I knew that I would have ended up putting you through it as well. I thought the best thing would be to disappear, let you be happy with Gretchen, without the whole 'soul mate' thing hanging over your head.' She said, almost in a whisper.
'But refusing to take my calls? Disappearing? Why so drastic?' His voice rose.
'Cause I knew the minute I spoke to your or saw you again it would happen,' she matched his volume, taking a step forward towards him.
'What would happen,' he shouted, causing several people walking along to stop and watch.
'I would fall in love with you again!' She shouted it loudly.
Silence fell between the two of them but the eye contact remained, solid and unwavering.
'And have you?' he said in a whisper, refusing to pull his eye contact from hers.
'What?'
'Have you fallen in love with me?' Dawson asked forcefully, taking another step forward, invading her personal space.
Joey gulped, staring into his eyes intensly.
'…I've gotta go, I can't do this now,' she brushed past him a speed.
'Don't you dare run away again…answer me,' he said as he grabbed her arm, pulling her into his arms.
'Dawson….' She tried to get away, squirming in his arms.
'Tell me!' She stopped squirming as his voice rose again, the grip on her arms tightening.
'Yes, I've never stopped loving you.' She said, almost whispering the words she had been longing to say to him for years.
The words hit Dawson like a train. His grip softened, his eyes closed tightly and he automatically lowered his forehead to hers.
And they remained there for a while, both breathing heavily as Dawson's hands ran down her arms to her hands, their fingers intertwining and clasping strongly.
Joey snapped out of the daze suddenly, when she felt his wedding ring. She pulled away and started to walk away.
'But it means nothing. We lead different lives now, we share nothing but the past.' She said over her shoulder, turning around the corner on the street and heading back to the car.
'That's not true, I've never stopped loving you either' he said loudly, stopping in his tracks.
Joey stopped and span around, looking at his wounded and open expression.
He stills loves me.
But that wasn't enough and Joey knew it. She moved towards him, standing close enough to smell him but not close enough to engage him in physical contact.
'You're married! And not only that you live the other side of the country!' she hissed through her teeth, looking around at the people on the street pointing and starring.
'Where am I now? I'm back here, back in the place it all started. And I want to finish it here. Joey, we can work through this…please think about it,' He reached over and tucked her loose strand of hair that had been playing on her face behind her ear. She felt the sparks, searing her heart as his eyes bored into hers.
'Dawson…' she started but couldn't finish. He cupped her face and planted a gentle kiss on her nose. She pulled away and looked at his pleading eyes once more.
'Just think about it…you and me, always?'
She caught a sob in her throat.
'I know what I want. I know what I have to do to make it happen. I'm just waiting for you,' he said softly, walking up to her and taking her hands once more. 'I'm just waiting for you,'
He squeezed her hands and kissed her cheek lightly, his stubble grazing her soft skin.
She watched as he walked past her, got into his car and drove away.
What neither of them knew, was that someone else was watching too.
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'So are you going to call her?' Jack said, picking up the discarded toys that Amy had left strewn all over their home.
'No…maybe…I don't know what to do, it's all too complicated. I mean, you saw what it was like at the Christmas. I don't want to get in the middle of that,' Andie sat at the kitchen table, watching her baby sleep gently in her car seat.
'I know. Are you going to tell Pacey?'
'What? That his ex girlfriends in town, possibly conducting an affair with his sister's husband? No thanks. It an awkward enough situation as it is.'
'I know Dawson wouldn't do anything like that, despite how unhappy he is with Gretchen. What did you actually see?' Jack pulled up a chair next to her, placing his hand over hers.
'Well I saw them running down the street, laughing like they were children and then they disappeared around onto the boardwalk. When I came out of my appointment, they were gone.' Andie recalled.
'Dawson wouldn't cheat on anyone, neither would Joey. Not intentionally anyway. Plus, do you think either of them would be stupid enough to do it in their home town, when the worlds press is after them?' Jack watched his niece slowly start to stir in her seat.
'We've married into quite a family huh?'
'I know. At least I married the sane one!' Jack joked.
'Very funny. Pacey can be sane, most of the time,'
'What about Joey? You going to talk to her?'
'What can I say? I regret the way she found out but it's a hollow apology at best. I got what I always wanted. I got Pacey'
'Yeah, at the expense of her happiness…'
'Don't start this again Jack. I know how you feel about all of it, I don't need the lecture again,'
'Fine, but you need to think about anything you do carefully. If Dawson and Gretchen are having serious problems then you have to let them get on with it. If seeing Joey is making any of it easier for Dawson, then so be it. As for Joey, don't forget you hurt her badly. She might not be offering forgiveness readily,' Jack said sternly, getting to his feet and leaving the room to check on Amy.
Andie picked her cell phone up and scrolled through the contacts.
Gretchen Cell
Pacey Cell
Gail Cell
Potter's B&B
She pressed call but the number was engaged. The baby stirred one more time and Andie tried to put it out of her mind.
At least for the moment.
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'So he loves you?'
'Yes,'
'Well what you waiting for girlie, get the pants down and the man into bed!'
'Audrey! It's not that simple. He's married,'
'Yeah but…'
'…no buts Audrey. He has to work that all out before anything, hypothetically, could happen.' Joey cut in decisively. She had called Audrey for some constructive advise. All she had got was Audrey.
'So…what you going to do?'
'I don't know yet. I need some space to think…'
'…you've had 4 years to think about it woman!'
'That was not thinking, that was avoidance. I really need to think about it this time.' Joey played with the phone cord, ignoring her sister tapping her pencil on the breakfast table. She had been intensely listening into the conversation since Joey had come home.
'Okay, so you don't mind me not coming up just yet?'
'Actually, I would prefer it,'
'Love you too bunny,' Audrey chuckled down the phone.
'Love you, bye,'
'Bye' Joey put the ancient phone down on the receiver and sat with Bessie.
'So?' Bessie finally said after watching Joey play with her cup of coffee for 5 minutes.
'So what?'
'Don't young lady. I know the Leery stares when I see them. What you thinking,'
'I'm thinking that I might go out…' Joey got to her feet and picked up the keys to the truck.
Bessie stood up to stop her but failed. She was out of the door before she had a chance.
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'Hello Icehouse?' Pacey answered cheerfully.
'Hey little brother,'
'Gretchen? How are you doing? You never call me?' He signed a delivery form from one of his waitress's, smiling at the girl as he did so.
'What? Can't a big sister check on her little bro once in a while.'
'Not when she hasn't bothered in over 3 months. Not even when her husband wins an Oscar,' He moved to the office, closing the door firmly and lowering himself onto his couch. Gretchen rarely called him, not even for information on her niece. As for Dawson, they hadn't spoken since the events at Christmas.
'Well we've been busy. I need a favour,'
'So you don't call me in over…' Pacey began but was cut of quickly.
'Shut up, I'm being serious,'
'Whoa, sorry. What do you need?' He got up and moved to his desk, sitting behind his computer and switching it on.
'Dawson is in Capeside, checking on his Aunt Gwen…'
'Gwen? What's happened? Is she okay?...'
'She had a stroke. But that doesn't matter….'
'Please tell me you didn't say that to him. Gwen was a central part of our childhoods…' Pacey began to reminisce.
'Pacey! Focus. He's not returning my calls and I don't have Gail's new number. Could you go over to the Leery house and get him to call me? Check he's not up to anything?'
'What, so I'm now Pacey P.I ?'
'If it helps you get through your hum drum life, then yeah,' He could tell she was getting annoyed and so reluctantly gave in.
'Fine, I do it tonight on the way home. But how are you apart from….'
'Thanks Pacey, gotta run, bye!' He heard the phone click.
'Bye…'
Pacey walked to the door of his office and called in his evening manager, telling him he had to go home for a family emergency and that he was in charge.
It wasn't until Pacey was halfway to the Leery's that he remembered that Gwen didn't live near Capeside, in fact, he vaguely remembered something about Connecticut.
Something's wrong…
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It's so peaceful…
The water lapped up against the edge of the dock, nudging the old row boat inch by inch closer to his dangling feet. Silence filled the air, but not his mind, which was alive with questions and plans.
He'd never thought he'd be in this position.
He'd never thought he'd be thinking about how to leave his wife.
Really, Christmas was the time he should have closed it down for good. Coming back to Capeside for a big family Christmas had seemed like a good idea at the time, seeing his family and having a break. In reality it was an unmitigated disaster. The screaming argument the two of them had had in front of everyone at the Icehouse was uncomfortable for everyone.
'You're 30 minutes late Dawson!'
'I'm sorry, I got tied up with things at my moms and…'
'You knew the deal Dawson. Christmas Day with your Mom and the evening with my family…'
'Yeah, but considering you didn't even show up for that, I think the fact I am here at all is generous…'
A loud slap rang through the air and Gretchen slugged him across the cheek.
'… you know why I didn't come to that! How dare you throw it back in my face.'
'Actually I don't. Why could you not wait until this evening to see Pacey and Andie?'
'Cause I wanted to see the baby. Lord forbid I want to spend time with my family…'
'What, and by definition it means we can't see mine?' Dawson pulled his jacket back on.
'You're a liar anyway! I called you Mom, you haven't been there for 2 hours. Where were you?' She screamed loudly so the whole restaurant could hear.
'It's not the time…'
'Where the hell were you Dawson! I know, you were at that bitch Potter's house? Couldn't wait to come home and get all cosy with your 'soul mate'. It's the truth isn't it?'
Everyone watched with interest to see Dawson's response, especially Pacey. His eyes narrowed menacingly at his brother in law.
'Actually, Gretchen. I went to the cemetery to see my dad and Jen…' He watched as Jack's face fell slowly, turning to Amy and taking her in his arms.
Gretchen's face remained angry but silent. She knew she had over stepped the mark, she knew she was treading dangerous ground. But she wanted to fight.
'I don't believe you. You're a liar. You were with Joey, I know you were,'
'Actually Gretchen, she's in New York with Bessie and Bodie…' Jack said angrily.
Silence filled the room, everyone desperately looking away from each other and the fighting pair. Dawson wrapped his scarf around his neck, walked towards Jack and kissed Amy on the forehead, handing her a small present he had brought her. It was a heart shaped locket with a picture of Jen inside.
'Thanks Jack. I'll call you…' he whispered in his ear as he leaned down to attach the necklace around the little girls' neck.
Jack nodded solemnly and watched as Dawson walked out of the restaurant and started his car and drove away.
They didn't speak for the rest of the holidays, Dawson actually flying home the next day to avoid her. The silence was finally broken when the Oscar nominations were announced, coincidentally enough.
He heard tyres on the driveway, the lights on dimly. Looking to one side he saw the familiar markings on the car.
'Sheriff Doug, what do I owe this pleasure?' Dawson said, walking towards his brother in law with his arm out stretched.
Doug looked him up and down, ignoring his hand and slinging his hands over his belt.
'Stay away from her Dawson,' he said sternly.
'I'm sorry, what?'
'I saw you today Dawson. Now I understand you are having problems with my sister and lord knows I have had a few run in's myself with her. But if I ever catch you with Joey Potter again we will have stronger words than this. You understand me?'
'Yes, I understand.'
'Good. Send me good wishes to your Aunt for me, Gretchen tells me she is quite ill.'
'I will, thanks.' Dawson held his hand out again but Doug turned around swiftly and got back into his squad car. His tyres squealed as he reversed out of the drive and away from the scene.
Dawson remained stuck still, unable to move. Images of being beaten by Doug flooded through his mind.
'Nice to see it's not just me he treats with contempt.'
Dawson looked over and saw Pacey sitting on the porch steps. He must have seen the whole thing. This was the last thing that Dawson had wanted to deal with, both of the brothers.
'Hey Pace…' Dawson walked up to the porch and lowered himself next to him. There was no handshake, no friendly hug, just a nod. That's all there ever was between the two of them.
'So Gretchen called me today, said Gwen was ill. How is she?'
'She's okay. Still quite ill.' Dawson replied solemnly.
'It's funny how you're here when she lives in Connecticut. Surely if you only got here last night, you couldn't have got to and from there that quickly…'
'Yeah well…'
'Come to think of it, your mom was in the restaurant all day. Did she not see her either?'
Dawson opened his mouth to respond but nothing came out. He had been caught and he could feel the lie unravelling underneath him.
'So are you going to tell me what this is about? Why Doug is giving you a strong talking to? Why my sister has to call me to ask where her husband is?'
'I needed a break…'
'Oh, I'm sorry. Is this a vacation? Usually when I go on holiday, I take my wife. 'Pacey said sarcastically.
'She had other commitments. Hollywood's mad at the moment, it was best I…'
'…came back to try and start a relationship with your soul mate?'
'Don't you dare.' Dawson hissed through his teeth.
'Why? You take every opportunity to remind me of my indiscretions.'
'The big difference here Pacey is that I'm not doing anything wrong. I haven't been conducting sexual relations in my wife's house with her old High School friend.'
'No, you're just embarrassing my sister to whole world while you try and chase a woman you've been chasing all your life. Dammit, I know how you feel. I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about her anymore. But you have to end this. You are married, you are in love. Leave Joey in the past…or else,'
'Or what?'
'Or I might have to help Doug with his strong words later.' Pacey starred intently in his eyes before standing up and walking away.
Great, now I'm being threatened by the whole damm family…
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The flashing lights behind her made her look at her speedometer at once. She was doing thirty, she must be okay. Pulling over to the side of the deserted road she stopped the car and waited.
'Good evening Miss Potter,'
'Doug! Oh my god, how are you! Amy, is she okay?' Joey beamed at the sight of her old friend.
'Fine. I'm fine. Look Joey, I don't like doing this but I have to. For everyone's sake please go back to New York.' He looked away, unable to take the look of pain in her eyes.
'What? Doug, I don't under…'
'Believe me Joey, I love you. You are one of the best things in Jack and Amy's life and I love it when we come to visit you in New York. But you have no place here anymore. Don't rake up the past, especially when it comes to someone's marriage,' He looked at her, her eyes watering slightly.
'..I'm not..I..I..came home to….see my family,' She stuttered with shock.
'Dawson isn't your family Joey. He's my family and as long as he's married to my sister, I have to do everything I can to make sure their marriage survives. Marriage is a sacred bond, please respect it and go away,'
He walked away quickly, unable to speak to her anymore. He knew it wasn't her fault and he knew what he had just done would probably cost Amy her god mother and Jack his close friend.
But the cost of what could happen was too great and what Gretchen could do would cost even more.
And he wasn't willing to cost his family.
Joey waited until he drove away and then burst into tears. She knew in that moment that nothing she could do would make it possible for her and Dawson to be together.
Nothing…
