Whiskey in the Jar

AN: Jin invites his friends to celebrate St. Patrick's Day with him, despite the fact that none of them know what the hell that is. In the process, they learn a little more about the Irish, demon relationships, and their friend's private life.Written because I'm Irish and damn proud of it!


Anyone could tell you that demons liked drinking. Of this, Yusuke had been absolutely certain. Meeting Chuu had only cemented this notion into his mind. Kuwabara's rather disastrous birthday party had confirmed it when he and Hiei had gotten drunk off the stuff Shizuru kept in the cabinet above the sink (the bottle label had been peeled off, but Yusuke pegged it for Southern Comfort with a single swig).

What Yusuke didn't know was that they also enjoyed singing and dancing about as much as they enjoyed drinking. Something about the idea of Hiei jigging on a table, singing "Beer, beer, beer!" at the top of his lungs just didn't click, and while Hiei did tend to hum when he was drunk, Yusuke seriously doubted the fire demon had ever danced in his life.

However, something in the idea of Jin dancing on a table singing some crazy Irish ballad about highway robbery and unfaithful women just fit.

But Yusuke attributed that to the fact that Jin was actually on the table, belting out the lines "I counted out his money and it made a pretty penny. I put it in me pocket and I took it home to Jenny. She sighed and she swore that she never would deceive me, but the devil take all women, for they never can be easy!"

The rest of the party had soon joined in, drunken demons slurring out words to a song they all seemed to know but couldn't really remember. The din was terrible, and the only ones who seemed to be able to keep the melody were Jin, Chuu, and a small green demon standing on one of the only upright chairs in the room. The song soon concluded with a rousing chorus of "there's whiskey in the jar," and the raucous laughter and thunderous clapping drowned out all other noise.

The bedlam soon died out, and was followed by shouted requests for more singing. Jin waved them all off with a smile and leapt off the table. He landed in front of Yusuke with a small flourish and bowed low in an extremely mocking manner.

"Good even'n lads!" he said with a smile. "So very glad you could make it!"

Yusuke reached out his hand for a shake, but only managed to open himself to the bone-crushing hug Jin bestowed upon him.

"I've never been one to turn down an invitation," Kurama said, smirking at Yusuke's face, which was turning an unnatural shade of purple. Jin laughed good-naturedly, let go of Yusuke, and pulled Kurama into the same backbreaking embrace. When the young wind master had finished with the kitsune he moved on to Kuwabara, who let out a wheezing sound as Jin accorded him the same greeting he had the other two. Jin wisely decided not to hug Hiei, but opened his arms to the little fire demon (just in case he felt left out). Hiei glared at Kurama and Kuwabara (who were chortling and guffawing respectively), and let out his typical "Hn."

Jin responded by saying "Mother Mary, Oi'd fergotten 'ow short ye were."

Yusuke was laughing as hard as Kuwabara now, the two of them doubled over and leaning on eachother for support. Kurama was wise enough to keep his amusement contained in a cough that sounded suspiciously like suppressed laughter.

Hiei had been persuaded to be on his best behavior this night, and chose to ignore that comment. Instead he opted to send a punch flying into the stomach of a passing demon and steal his drink (which he promptly downed, knowing Kurama would not consider assaulting other guests to be his "best behavior"). This sent Jin into gales of laughter, and the wind shinobi mimicked Hiei's move on a much larger demon. Said demon spilled his drink all over another demon. Jin whooped in delight.

The whole room soon degenerated into one giant brawl of drunken demons. Yusuke and Hiei gladly joined in, leaving Kurama and Kuwabara to hang back (in the names of composure and fear of being maimed, also respectively). Touya stood on the other side of the room, the only other person not currently being punched, kicked or bitten. He raised his eyebrows and sent a slight smile to Kurama, who responded in kind.

Then Jin and Yusuke both sprang from the tangle of limbs and tackled Touya through the back wall of the bar. The bartender, one of the largest demons in the room, merely shrugged at Kurama and Kuwabara and said, "As long as someone pays, they can fight all they like!"

Jin, and then Yusuke sailed back through the hole they had helped create. The giggling of barmaids followed Touya as he stalked out into the room. The shinobi of ice climbed on top of the bar to better survey the carnage below, and then dove at Jin. The two of them rolled across the floor, kicking, punching and biting like four-year olds fighting over candy.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say everyone had gone completely insane," Kuwabara murmured to Kurama, noting that everyone in the brawl was laughing, with the small exception of Hiei (who had the tiniest hint of a smile on his face).

"What can I say?" Kurama answered, letting out a snort of laughter. "There are three things demons love, and fighting and alcohol are two of them."

"What's the third?"

"Sex."

Kuwabara blushed, Kurama laughed, and the fighting continued.

Some unaccountable minutes later, the door to the bar flew open, and in stepped three very pretty (and very angry) female demons. The brawlers slowed, and eventually stopped as the icy anger of one of the women flowed out over the room. Someone swore, and before Kuwabara and Kurama knew what was happening, Jin was hunched over behind the two of them - almost as if hiding…

"What the hell?" Kuwabara exclaimed, twisting around to stare at the wind master.

Jin looked slightly afraid, and Kurama chuckled and said, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."

The foremost she-demon was small, and pale as snow, with large, completely black eyes that seemed to swallow up all the noise in the room. She strode purposefully through the crowd, which parted for her like scolded children.

"Hard to imagine all these big bad demons cowering under one little woman," Kuwabara muttered to his companions.

Those odd black eyes swung around to lock with his own, and the redhead soon found himself feeling much the same as he was sure Jin did at the moment.

"Friend of yours?" Yusuke asked, looking straight at Jin, his voice near booming in the utter silence.

The black-eyed demon looked at Yusuke, and then her ears twitched. Before anyone (excepting Hiei) could breathe, she had leapt over the table, shoved Kuwabara - who was much more than twice her size- out of the way, and grabbed Jin bodily by the shoulders. She shook him violently, and began to yell in a language none but the two of them understood.

Jin tried to placate her, as evidenced by his wildly gesturing hands and high-pitched tone, but she would have none of it.

Finally, she pulled back her hand and let fly, smacking the wind master quite soundly across the face. Then she turned and made to stomp out of the bar.

The other two female demons looked smug.

Jin looked furious.

Yusuke was reminded of himself and Keiko. He chuckled.

"Come on, Akina," Chuu said, stepping in front of the angry young woman. "Its St. Potter's Day, or whatever…"

"I know what day it is, you lummox!" she shouted (in a dialect all could understand), shoving him out of the way and continuing towards the door.

She stopped short as Jin somersaulted over the few occupants who had moved between them. He landed on his feet in front of Akina, and before anyone (even Hiei) could blink he swept her up off her feet, into his arms, and planted a harsh kiss on her open mouth.

She all but shrieked with rage - everyone could hear it. Yusuke was rolling around on the floor at this point.

"Does anyone else think it's incredibly rude to kiss someone who obviously doesn't wanna be kissed?" Kuwabara asked, looking around at all the chuckling demons.

"I don't think you understand," Kurama said to his fellow redhead. "Demon relationships aren't as passive as human ones. They're built more on domination than trust, or even love for that matter."

"So, what… she likes it?" Kuwabara asked dubiously, newly altered visions of Yukina dancing through his head. He blushed.

"Obviously," Hiei quipped, gesturing to Jin and Akina, who were now quite enthralled with eachother.

"I think you mighta missed an important visual cue," Chuu added, taking a swig from a bottle of whiskey, while Jin and Akina continued to attempt to swallow eachother's tongue.

"Not surprising," Hiei muttered.

"Shut up, shrimp!"

"She's carrying his whelp, you moron!" Hiei said, gritting his teeth as Kuwabara blinked at hum dumbly.

The redhead looked form Hiei, to Jin and Akina, to Yusuke who was still laughing, to Kurama. The kitsune nodded, smiling.

"No wonder she's pissed off," Yusuke finally managed to sputter out between hiccups (both drunken ones and amused ones).

Kuwabara frowned. "Isn't Jin just a little… young to raise some kids?"

"He's in his prime," Kurama explained, now averting his eyes from what was now a completely indecent display of affection. The two had migrated over to a chair in a corner. "What better time to produce offspring then when you have the strength to protect them."

"Akina seems to be able to handle herself," Yusuke interjected, now more interested in the conversation than his drink.

"She'll be defenseless when it's time to deliver," Hiei said, surprising everyone by making his presence in the conversation known. "If he has any honor whatsoever, it's his duty to protect her, and the resulting children, until she's able to defend herself."

"And except for the 12 hours or so of being completely helpless, nature favors her," Kurama picked up. "After labor, her power will increase dramatically for the next fifteen or so years, until the offspring are able to defend themselves."

Meanwhile, Chuu had been sneaking up on the hapless couple. In a stunning display or prowess, cunning, and dexterity (odd to all who did not know him well), Chuu wrapped the both of them in a hug strong enough to crush a bear, picked them up, and tossed them onto the table Jin had vacated earlier. The wind shinobi managed to land on his feet, Akina secured in his arms.

They broke away from eachother and looked around the room at the whooping, laughing crowd.

"How 'bout a song?" Chuu called. "We watched to two of ya suck face for almost five minutes! If you can hold your breath that long, I'd say you could manage a lyric and a jig!"

Jin just laughed, and broke out into song.

It was, all in all, the best entertainment any of them had even seen that didn't involve an instrument or microphone. Jin had a wonderful, rustic voice. A flash of leg under swirling skirts, and a throw of dark curls over a pale shoulder was all Akina needed to captivate every patron in the bar.

Jin sang, Akina danced, and sure enough, there above her undulating hips swelled the beginnings of a child.


Much later, after many songs and drinks, Yusuke, Kuwabara, Kurama and Hiei retired to the room Jin had procured for them in exchange for the rather problematic journey that was required to reach this particular bar in Makai. It was Jin's favorite, and Yusuke had been more than happy to go through the trouble, but the room was accepted graciously, and together the four young men settled down for the night.

After about fifteen minutes of silence, broken only by the rather suggestive noises wafting from the room Jin now shared with Akina, Yusuke piped up, "I'm thirsty."

Hiei threw a stoppered clay jug at him.

"Thanks man," he said, uncorking the jar and taking a deep swig.

He nearly spit it out as dry, burning alcolhol flowed into his already parched throat.

"The hell!" he exclaimed, throwing the (uncorked) jug back at Hiei.

"Watch it, Urameshi!" Kuwabara yelled as the amber liquid spilled from the jar.

"What is that?" Yusuke demanded.

In answer, both Kurama and Hiei broke into a rather off key chorus of "whack full, my daddy-o, there's whiskey in the jar!"

"What'd you expect?" Kuwabara asked as he settled down. "It's St. Potter's Day."

"ST. PATRICK'S DAY!" two voices, one Jin and one Akina, chorused at him from behind the wall.

The End


So…. I'm crazy, and in an Irishy mood, due to the fact that I attended the Irish folk festival a few weeks ago, and St. Patty's Day is coming up, and from the first moment I saw him I was completely enamored by Jin's accent. In my mind his mother was some hapless, Irish woman who happened to have a one-night stand with a demon. As such, Jin's Irishness makes him prone to drinking, fighting, and getting laid as much as he possibly can. All in good fun, of course…