A/N: Please don't hurt me…I'm so sorry that I haven't been updating in like…a year maybe? High school is killer for me. Thank God for Spring Break. Okay…I will finish this fanfic! I promise! Thanks for the reviewers who have kept reviewing also. I love you all! huggles Also, the joke in this will be marked by italics.

Yori Kiri – Basically, it's an experiment to see if a certain amount of people can stand each other for two weeks locked up in one dorm. They get paid a lot of money at the end and they don't need to make up any work. Hope this clears everything up!

Billie The Kid – Updating! I'll do my best to keep that reputation.

DClick – Squall loves him some Pokemon. nods Yes.

freya84 – w00t! I'll definitely try.

Verdanii - Muchas gracias.

quisty65 – Yay! I'm original! I think…

Spincut – Thanks! I was trying to do a different writing style…definitely not meant for humor fics.

Hotdog Angelo – I'll try!

chococat2 - huggles Glad you're back!

TheRealAuron – Thanks! I'll try and read it after I'm done with this.

Leonhart Zero – Exactly. It just says "Selphie" all over it.

anonymous - …Ummm…Not in this fic. I'll think about it though in a different one.

shinji the good sharer – I'll go look at it. Sounds evil! W00t! Also…I'm using your idea for this chappy.

Day Twelve

Quistis yawns and opens her eyes.

"AHHHHHH! Everyone wake up!" she screams. Selphie, Irvine, Rinoa, Seifer, and Zell wake up groggily. Squall is still asleep, hugging his Pokemon cards to his chest. Every now and then you hear a random "I choose you!" coming from him but that's a whole other story.

"What's the big idea?" Seifer says, mid-yawn.

"Do none of you hear that?" she asks. Everyone gets really quiet and they hear a 'thump-thump' sound. It gets closer and closer. Rinoa hides under her blanket. Zell opens his mouth.

"It must be coming from that thingy where all the stuff comes out of it." He says. Everyone blinks. "You know! The thingy with the breeze flowing out of it?" Quistis sighs.

"The ventilation shaft." She says.

"Yeah!"

"Ohhhhh!" responds everyone else. They look up at the ventilation shaft nervously.

"What is it?" Rinoa asks from under the blanket.

"We don't frickin' know yet, Rinoa!" Seifer yells. Squall wakes up, realizes he's holding Pokemon cards, and stuffs them under the couch quickly.

"What's happening?" he asks.

"Something's in the venty-thing shaft." Zell whispers.

"Oh…what is it?"

"We don't know!" everyone screams. Suddenly, the ventilation shaft gives way and something green falls to the floor. Selphie starts to shriek happily.

"Aw! It's a Tonberry! Look! It has its lantern and everything, even its scary long knife!" she exclaims. Her face suddenly goes to a look of horror. Everyone looks at the Tonberry come closer and closer.

"Long knife? AHHHHHHHH!" Everyone runs into the guys' bedroom, locks the door, and lean up against it.

"Now what do we do?" Irvine asks.

"Yeah! I'm hungry!" Zells says.

"Is all you can ever think about food?" Seifer asks, exasperated. Zell cocks his head.

"Um…Ye-ah. Don't you?" Seifer palmfaces.

"Well, I say we send one person out at a time to try and kill it. If they die, we send out another person. That way, we get rid of the weakest. Darwin's theory of natural selection will prove its point." Squall says. Everyone just looks at him. Rinoa starts to cry. "What?" Squall asks her.

"B-b-but, everyone know I-I'm the w-w-w-w-weakest!" she blubbers.

"No, you're just the whiniest." Seifer says. "Chicken-wuss over here is the weakest."

"I am not! I'm strong!" Zell exclaims. He puffs out his chest a bit.

"Did your mommy tell you that?" Seifer asks with a sneer.

"………I hate you." Zell goes off to sit in a corner.

"Enough! We need to think of how we can get rid of this Tonberry without killing ourselves." Quistis says.

"I say we just grab a stick of wood from the floor and CHARGE!" Irvine yells. Everyone shrugs.

"Okay." Quistis says. Meanwhile Zell is looking at something with great interest.

"Hey guys?" he calls. Everyone is too busy trying to see which piece of wood is the biggest. "Guys?" He's still ignored. "GUYS!"

"Not now, Zell!" Quistis says impatiently. "Just grab a stick of wood!"

"But this is really important!"

"Not right now!"

"But-"

"Just grab the damn wood!"

"Fine…" Zell grabs a random piece of wood from the floor.

"Okay, on the count of three," Irvine starts, "one………..two…………two and a half………two and three quart-"

"Get on with it!" Everyone screams.

"Five!"

"It's supposed to be three!" Quistis says.

"My bad. Three!"

"CHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEE!"

They run through the door, startling the Tonberry. He doesn't do anything. They all screech to a halt…literally. You can hear the screech a mile away and the carpet is smoking. The Tonberry looks at them with its big, big eyes. Selphie's face softens.

"Awwww…it's so CUTE!" she stoops down to pet it. He lets her. She suddenly picks him up. "I'm gonna hug him and squeeze him and call him George!"

"Why George?" Irvine asks.

"Because George is gonna let me tend the rabbits and we gonna live offa the fat of the land!" Selphie says in a stupid-like voice. Everyone sweat-drops. ((Sorry. Now that the John Steinbeck-ness is out of my system…))

Anyways, the Tonberry starts to panic and breaks loose from Selphies arms. His eyes go from big and cute to small and squinty. He takes a step towards the group. They take out their wooden sticks. Squall is the first to try and hit the Tonberry. A little "0" appears above its head. He takes another step forward. Next, Selphies goes up and whacks it like a piñata. Another "0" appears above his head. He takes yet another step forward.

This keeps going on until each person has given it several whacks. Finally, the Tonberry is right in front of the group. He raises the knife above his head and…………

BOOM! CRASH!

")&&&(#"

"HELP ME IRVY!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"I WANT MY MOMMY!"

"WHATEVER!"

"NOOOOOOOO!"

"I'LL NEVER GET TO FEEL QUISTIS' HOT censored BIG censored GORGEOUS censoredcensoredcensoredcensoredcensoredcensoredcensoredcensoredcensored!

"SHUT UP, SEIFER!"

Just as quickly as it had started ((which wasn't very quick)), it ended. They all lied in a heap on the floor. There were no injuries what-so-ever, just confusion. The Tonberry had just suffered a fatal heart attack and died…because the heart attack was fatal…and therefore he died. Everyone looked around and suddenly did their victory dance, although there was nothing to be victorious of because they didn't do crap.

Rinoa looked over the corpse of the dead Tonberry.

"What are we going to do with it?" she asks. They all look at each other.

"Well, we can't just leave it in here. It'll stink up the place." Seifer says.

"We could stuff it down the garbage disposal." Zell puts in.

"You mean you, right?" Seifer says, smirking. Zell narrows his eyes.

"Wait! That's an idea!" Selphie says.

"No way! I refuse to stuff that thing down my throat!"

"No silly! We could find a recipe and eat it!" Irvine scratches his head but first he takes off his hat. ((Because that wouldn't make any sense to scratch your head with the hat on. I mean, you wouldn't even be able to feel it! Oh Hyne…I think these things through too much.))

"Are there any recipes for Tonberry?" he asks.

"Well…no. Not exactly. But I'm sure it's just like cooking a meatloaf!" Selphie replies. Quistis bites her lip. She doesn't seem to anxious to find out.

"Who would cook it?" Rinoa asks.

"Not Selphie!" Seifer implies. Selphie narrows her eyes.

"I can cook! Right, Irvy?" Irvine looks at the ground. Selphie's lip trembles.

"O-of course you can!" he says with a forced smile. Luckily, Selphie sees past it.

"Yay! Then I'll start right now!" She grabs the corpse and skips off into the kitchen. Everyone proceeds to beat Irvine with the wooden sticks. Selphie notices but thinks that it's some sort of ritual of thanks.

"Okay, the cookbook says to shape the ground beef into a loaf-like shape and put it in a pan." Selphie looks at the Tonberry and sighs.

She begins to chop off the appendages and de-bone the Tonberry. She takes out all the squishy organs and tosses them into the real garbage disposal, not Zell, the fake garbage disposal. She gets out the grinder because they just happen to have one in that dorm. ((Total coincidence, I promise.)) She grinds it up and molds it into a loaf-like shape. She puts it in a pan.

"Let's see…the cookbook says to bake it at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for thirty minutes, take it out, put tomato sauce on the top, and bake it for another thirty."

She does just that. Aren't we so proud?

When the Tonberry is finally done, she takes it out of the kitchen and sets it on the table. Everyone eats and everyone is happy. Yay for happiness!

After dinner, everyone is bored yet again.

"Oh! I have a joke for y'all!" Rinoa says. "It's about pink ping-pong balls!" Everyone shrugs and decides to listen.

"Okay. So there's this kid and he's about to have his fifth birthday. His parents ask him what he wants for his gift and the boy says,

'I want pink ping-pong balls.'"

"Is the little boy gay?" Irvine asks.

"Nooooooo." Rinoa responds. "Anyways,

The parents look at each other, shrug, and decide to get him the pink ping-pong balls. He gets the pink ping-pong balls, goes up the stairs, goes into his room, goes out the window, goes behind the house, and comes back into the living room without the pink ping-pong balls. His parents ask,

'What happened to the pink ping-pong balls?' He just shrugs his shoulders and walks off. His parents dismiss it because, you know, he's five. He probably threw them at a bird."

"The poor birdie!" Selphie cries. Rinoa sighs.

"Thirteen years later, he graduates from high school. His parents ask what he wants as a graduation present. He says,

'I want pink ping-pong balls.' His parents look at him.

'Are you sure?' they ask.

'Yes.'"

"Are you sure this kid isn't gay?" Irvine asks.

"YES!" So they buy him the pink ping-pong balls. He goes upstairs, goes into his room, goes out the window, goes behind the house, and comes back without the pink ping-pong balls. His parents ask,

'What happened to the pink ping-pong balls?' He shrugs his shoulders and walks off. His parents dismiss it yet again because he's a teenager and doesn't like to talk to his parents."

"Well that's not nice!" Quistis puts in.

"Reminds me of Squall." Zell says. Rinoa narrows her eyes.

"Whatever," Squall replies, who's not really paying attention.

"A couple of years later he's in college and is somehow able to get a girlfriend. It's Valentine's Day and his girlfriend asks,

'What do you want for Valentine's Day, Sweety?'

'I want pink ping-pong balls.'"

"I'm telling you! This guy's a fag!" Irvine exclaims.

"Will you let me frickin' finish?" Irvine shuts up.

"His girlfriend thinks to herself: Well, maybe he plays ping pong. Also, it's Valentine's Day and he might want them to be pink. Some guys are sentimental like that…I think.

So she buys him the pink ping-pong balls. He goes home, goes upstairs, goes to his room, goes out the back window, goes behind the house, and goes back to college without the pink ping-pong balls. His girlfriend asks,

'What happened to the pink ping-pong balls?' He shrugs his shoulders and walks off. His girlfriend breaks up with him because he never talks to her.

So, he goes home to visit his parents over Spring Break. His parents are really starting to wonder about the pink ping-pong balls-"

"You mean they weren't before?" Quistis asks. Rinoa gives her a death glare. "Okay! I'll be quiet!"

"So they tell him to explain about the pink ping-pong balls. He says,

'Fine, I'll tell you but first I need to go get something at the mall. When I come home I'll tell you all about them.'

His parents agree and he goes to pick up whatever it was that he needed. He wanders into KB Toys and sees this HUGE bag of, what else? pink ping-pong balls. But it's on the top shelf. He starts to climb up the shelves, the shelves collapse on top of him, he dies, and we never find out what happened to the pink ping-pong balls."

Rinoa smiled. Everyone just stood in shock. Then they all narrowed their eyes, except for Squall, because he had fallen asleep.

"You just wasted ten minutes of my life!" Seifer screams.

"I want my time back!" Selphie yells.

"I hate you." Quistis mutters.

Squall snores. Zell just sits there, dumbstruck.

"And you're positive that he wasn't gay?" Irvine asks.

The rest of the evening was spent throwing rotten produce at Rinoa and Irvine.

A/N: Well, I hope guys liked this chapter. Send in a review and I'll give you an invisible cookie! XOXOXO