A/N: Wow! I'm actually updating twice in one year!111oneone. Haha! So, a thanks to my reviewers. This chapter is going to be somewhat different…
Disclaimer: I do not own Bohemian Rhapsody, Achy Breaky Heart, Miss Congeniality, American Idol, Friends, The Price is Right, and The Lumberjack Song.
Hotdog Angelo – You think my pink ping-pong balls are gay? cries Just kidding.
MajesticPhoenix - Yay! Adjectives! Thanks for the review.
thugstra – Nope, that was the joke. He dies. I'm sorry it took so long!
chococat2 – No problem! huggles again
Day Thirteen
Just like every other day, the gang was bored. Very, very bored.
"Wanna play a board game?" asked Rinoa.
"No." replied everyone.
"Anyone hungry?" asked Zell.
"No."
"Wanna watch TV?" asked Irvine.
"No."
"Wanna watch me and Quistis make out?" asked Seifer.
"NO!"
"Want to help me grade papers?" Quistis asked.
"No.
"….?" asked Squall.
"No."
"I have an idea!" says Selphie. Everyone groans, loudly. "It'll be fun! We can have a talent show!"
Everyone blinks, then shrugs.
"Whatever." Seifer says.
"You stole my line bitch!" Squall screams, jumping on Seifer.
"Get offa me Puberty Boy!" They continue to fight as Selphie hashes out the details.
"Ok. So we'll all get into the pretty costumes I brought with me just in case. Then we'll do our talent. We'll hold up a sign with numbers between 1 and 10, ten being the highest. Whoever has the highest score wins!"
"What does the winner get?" Rinoa asks.
"The first chance to punch Headmaster Cid in the face when we get out tomorrow." Seifer and Squall stop fighting when they hear this. They look at each other.
"We're in!" they say simultaneously.
"Yay!" Selphie exclaims. "C'mon! I'll get out the costumes!" Everyone goes in to the girls room to get their costumes.
A few minutes later, everyone is ready to go. Irvine goes first. He's wearing a white rhinestone cowboy suit with a matching hat…and spurs. He puts a CD on. It's My Achy Breaky Heart. ((The horror!))
Now don't tell my heart
My Achy Breaky Heart…
Irvine starts to do the Rollar Coaster….badly.
"Okay Irvine, you can do this," he says to himself. "Two right, two left, two front…wait! No…two back…"
The CD is cut off by Quistis.
"Well, what did you think?" he asks.
"Dawg, that was bad, man!" Zell says.
"I-I'm sure you have other wonderful talents. You're a wonderful person." Rinoa says.
"Honestly, that was the worst thing I've ever seen. You are possibly the worst line dancer in Balamb." Squall says in a British accent. Irvine hangs his head.
Irvine's scores: 3 from Quistis
4 from Rinoa
0 from Squall
2 from Zell
3 from Seifer
10 from Selphie.
Total: 18
Next, Selphie came up in a poofy pink dress. "I need a volunteer from the audience." She said, looking around. "Seifer! You'll be perfect."
Seifer got up.
"Now, I'm going to show you a basic self-defense move. You can remember it by S.I.N.G." She walks over to Seifer. She stands in front of him. She elbows him really hard in the solar plexus,
steps on his instep, backfists her hand into his nose, and knees his groin.
"See? S-I-N-G." Seifer meanwhile, is on the floor in a fetal position, crying for his mommy. Everyone but Quistis and Seifer claps.
Selphie's scores: 0 from Seifer
0 from Quistis
10 from Irvine
10 from Squall
8 from Rinoa
10+ from Zell
Total: 38
Seifer was going to go next but he needs to recuperate for awhile. So, Squall gets up. He's in his normal day attire, even though Selphie tried to get him to wear something that looked like it came from the "Liberace house of crap" ((Chandler – The One With the Prom Video- Friends)). He gets five cinderblocks from the closet, sets them on top of each other, pulls his gunblade out, and chops them in half. Then he walks back to his seat.
Squall scores: 8 from Selphie
7 from Zell
10 from Rinoa
2 from Seifer
6 from Quistis
0 from Irvine ((for revenge))
Total: 33
Next is Rinoa. She's wearing a straight red dress, that is classy, yet seductive. She decides to sing the beginning to Bohemian Rhapsody, badly.
"Is this the real life-
Is this just fantasyyyyyy-
Caught in a landslide-
No escape from cough reality-
Open your eyesssssssss
Look up to the skies and seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-
I'm just a poor boy- I mean girl, I need no sympathy-
Because I'm easy come, easy go,
A little high, little low,
Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really matter to meeeeeeeeeeeee,
To me."
Rinoa's scores: 4 from Squall ((he can't lie))
2 from Selphie
2 from Irvine
3 from Zell
0 from Seifer
1 from Quistis
Total: 12
Rinoa starts to cry.
"You're crying because you killed the song, right?" Seifer asks with a smirk. Rinoa sits down, sniffling.
Zell gets up to do his. He's in a lumberjack suit. He decides to also sing.
"I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay.
I sleep all night and I work all day.
I cut down trees, I eat my lunch
I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays I go shopping and have buttered scones for tea.
I cut down trees, I skip and jump
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing and hang around in bars.
I cut down trees, I wear high heels
Suspendies and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear pappa.
I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay.
I sleep all night and I work all day."
Everyone has just about died laughing at this point.
"I always knew he was gay!" Seifer laughs.
"I am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"…Am too!"
"Are not!"
"Ha! I win!"
Seifer feels very stupid after that.
Zell's scores: 10 from Selphie
5 from Squall ((for stupidity))
0 from Seifer
6 from Quistis
10 from Irvine
9 from Rinoa
Total: 40
Quistis, no matter how hard everyone tries, refuses to do a talent. When they still persist, she takes out her Save the Queen.
"Fine! But I need a volunteer!"
They decide to leave her alone.
Seifer is feeling better at this point so he decides to go.
"Okay, I also need a volunteer from the audience. Quistis, come on down!" Quistis goes over to him. "I'm going to show you some simple ways to say things to a girl…physically.. If you want to 'just be friends', you do this."
He shakes Quistis' hand…loosely. "If you'd like a second date, you do this."
He kisses Quistis on the cheek and winks at her. "If you want to be serious with her, you do this."
He kisses her on the lips, gently and grabs her waist.
"Awww!" Selphie says, tears forming. Irvine wraps his arms around her. Rinoa lays her head in Squall's lap and Squall strokes her hair.
Seifer scores: 10 from Quistis
10 from Selphie
10 from Irvine
10 from Rinoa
10 from Squall
9.5 from Zell
Total: 59.5
"ALRIGHT! I WIN!" Seifer then faints with happiness.
A/N: I'm sorry if this one was boring. Writer's block sucks. Well, the next chapter is the last. I'll try to hurry up with it. Thanks again to my reviewers!
