Don't go!
Gogeta looked at his unconscious little brother in his arms. He was crying.
' Oh please, Vegito. Don't you even think about leaving me! I care about you too much. I'd never be able to forgive my self if you died now. I will forever think I failed you as a brother, and that will slowly eat me away. I gotta get you home. But first we gotta find Hakkai.' Gogeta sped off looking for his 'lover'. " Hakkai! Where are you!"
Hakkai looked over in the other direction he ran over to him. They met each other in the center where they started. " Oh thank Kami… is your brother ok?"
" For now… we gotta get him home…"
" Gogeta… I think it would be a better idea if we get him to the hospital…"
" No… father and Papa-san have equipment at the house. We just gotta hurry up and get there. But I don't have any more energy left. I'm tired."
" Ah… don't sweat it man. I got a ride."
" Since when?"
" Since yesterday. Dad got me a new one. So hop in already.. we gotta get your brother home!"
Gogeta got in the car and he laid his brother in the back seat. Hakkai straps in and hits the petals. " Hold on to your hats!" With that they speed off to the Brief house. Within minutes they arrived.
Gogeta ran into his parent's house. Hakkai ran in after him. Trunks and Goten saw their child in such bad shape. They couldn't believe it. " Father, papa-san… we gotta get in stable… his energy is slipping."
" Come on son… in the other room." Trunks says as he walked into the lab.
Gogeta laid his brother down on the table and they started to hook him up on the iv's and everything.
Hakkai looked at Trunks. " Mr. Brief? Will Vegito be alright?"
" I don't know at this moment. He's in bad shape. We are going to have to watch after him for a while."
Gogeta starts to cry. " This is all my fault! If I hadn't…. this would have never have happened…"
" Don't blame yourself Gogeta." Hakkai said with reassurance. " You couldn't have known that you would have those experiences as a kid. It couldn't have been helped."
" I should have told him…."
" If he possibly learned this before all this, he would have had a emotional breakdown and he would have ended up in the asylum. And I don't think you would want that for your brother." Hakkai said.
" That's true… you are just like me Hakkai… we both don't wanna hurt our little brothers in any shape or form. But how am I going to deal with this if he does go crazy….."
" He won't. If anything it will make him stronger."
Gogeta looked back at his lover. " You really think so?"
" I know it. Ryo was the same way. I'm sure Vegito can handle something like this."
" Oh about that…. I'm sorry. I didn't…."
" Hey Gogeta, chill man. I know you didn't mean it. You can't help it. You are a Saiyan, Ryo and I are just humans. I think you can make Vegito truly happy. I know you can. You are really a nice person and not to mention that Vegito looks up to you and he has openly told you about his feelings for you. Why can't you?"
Gogeta looked down at his little brother. " I just can't do it. Hakkai…. I don't think I can do it. I am a ruined man. I have had so many bumps on the road. If anything happened to Vegito either now, or in the future I will never be able to forgive myself. You know that better then anyone."
" I do know that you love him…. and you just don't wanna admit it. Isn't that right?"
" Of course it's true!"
Hakkai smiled. " How is it you can tell me, but you can't tell your little brother?"
" Maybe I'm just afraid. I might just be afraid that things won't work out in the end or maybe I might hurt him. Or something…. I can't say it to him. I can only write it all down. That's all…. I'm just a coward."
That gave Hakkai an idea. ' Well since it is completely clear he isn't going to tell him on his own… I'm just going to have to do it for him…. I gotta get my hands on that book, and knowing Gogeta as well as I do, I can easily get it.' Hakkai looked back at Vegito. " He's such a cute boy. You are very lucky to have someone like him to be your brother and you will be damned if you don't take him to be your lover as well… We both know that you two love each other more then anything and you should stop hiding behind you're wall of denial and….."
" When I'm ready Hakkai…. And not before!" Gogeta shouted. He stormed out of the room. He was crying. ' Kami! What have I done! I have got to be the worst brother in the history of brothers in the world. A good brother wouldn't have allowed this to happen…. A good brother would have tried to stop him the moment he left… a good brother would have done more. But I'm not a good brother at all…. I'm terrible. I don't deserve such a good brother as Vegito.'
Hakkai watched over Vegito and Gogeta
let out some steam. The elder brother didn't want to see his sick
little brother like this. It would tear him a part even more. The
monitor suddenly went flat. Hakkai looked over in fear.
"
GOGETA!" Hakkai shouted.
Gogeta rushed into the room. " What's wrong?"
" We got a flat line!"
Gogeta panicked. He started doing CPR on his little brother. Hakkai constantly looked at the monitor. Gogeta kept at it. ' Come on little bro. You can't leave me now…. not until I tell you the truth about all this…' Gogeta breathed into him again. " Damn it Vegito! Don't you dare die on me!"
The was a sudden beep on the monitor. Gogeta looked at it. He sighed.
" Thank god!" He smiled. ' Good boy little brother. Please… I know you can pull through this.'
Gogeta sits down in the chair and he sighs again. " This is all my fault!"
Hakkai comes over at pats him on the shoulder. " Hey, come on man… don't blame yourself. We all have moments where this happens. He'll pull through. I know he will…." Gogeta looked a bit pale. Hakkai noticed this. " Gogeta? You alright over there?"
" I don't feel so good….. I think I'm sick and I feel a bit weak…."
" Gogeta, why don't you get some sleep?"
" No… I can't. Not now. I gotta look after my brother. If I don't god only knows what will happen to him."
" Gogeta, if you don't get some rest… you will bite the bullet and then Vegito won't have a big brother anymore. And I know you don't want that to happen."
" Alright, alright…. I'll relax. You just take care of my brother..."
" You got it man." Gogeta gets up from his chair and falls into Hakkai's arms. " Woah, I think I better take you up."
" Just bring me to the couch….."
" Alright the couch. You know your grandfather hates that."
" Yeah but papa-san made father-san get a new one."
" You know you haven't called Trunks father-san in years."
" Yeah, I thought I grew out of that habit. Oh well…"
Hakkai lifted Gogeta to his feet and placed him on the couch. Hakkai walked back into the other room. He checked the monitor for a second. He leaned over to his 'lovers' brother. " Well you are getting better aren't you cutie."
" uh huh." Vegito muttered.
A smile appeared on Hakkai's face. " Your doing better and I'm sure your brother will be happy to hear that."
" Where's Oniisan?"
" He's on the couch… he probably fell asleep. He's really worried about you…."
" Is he alright?"
" He's kinda sick. Your brother has feelings for you….."
" If he does… then why doesn't he tell me?"
" He's afraid."
" Of what? I'm not going to hurt him…"
" It's the other way around kiddo."
" He's afraid he'd hurt me?"
" That's right kiddo. He told you how he hurt that other boy and he got hurt AS a boy… those two times haunt your brother's mind. He doesn't want you to end up like he did. He cares about you so much Vegito… and I can prove it."
" Uh? How?"
Hakkai smiled. He pulled out a black book. " You see this?"
" Uh, what is it?"
" It's your brother's journal. And it has you in it…. here take a look…."
Vegito nods. There was this red string hanging from the book. He stares at it for a moment and then he opens the book. And begins to read.
December 4th ( Vegito's born)
Vegito… you are here, after all the time I spent waiting you're here. You are even cuter then I had imagined. You are just a few minutes old and I love you already. Isn't that strange? I know as your older brother I'm supposed to love you but it isn't the same. The love I feel for you is so much stronger then brotherly love, even at this young age I want to make you mine. What would they think though, would our parents accept it if I told them? I want to tell the world how I feel but even now I know it's wrong. Will it always be this way? Am I going to always lust for you? It isn't your body that I love though, but your soul. When you were born and I was allowed to hold you in my arms for the first time, I felt so much warmth from your tiny body. That's the moment I knew that we were meant to be. Our minds touched and even though you were so little we bonded. It may not have been a strong bond like our father's share but it was a bond nonetheless. And in that bond and in those few seconds I felt so much love radiating from your heart.
I know I have never experienced love but feeling that warmth from you made me feel so good and at that moment I knew that I would always love you no matter what. If only you were born to a different life though. A different time and place, then we would be able to be together. Though I can never show you my true feelings, I will always be able to watch over you and protect you. And if I ever show more love then I should, it can always be blamed on the fact that we're brothers. Can I live a hidden life though? I know it will hurt to watch you grow up into a beautiful little boy, because with our father's genes how can you be anything besides perfect? I wonder what the others would think if they knew my preferences. They'd probably blame it on our parents, claiming that they've influenced me into liking boys. But you're different, I don't consider you like the others. Maybe I can focus on someone else though, so I don't hurt you. Because you can't grow up knowing that I love you. I can never allow you to know. All I can do now is watch you from afar. Even now I am doing so, watching you sleep. You look so fragile, like the little angel you were meant to be. Your delicate little face looks so sweet while you sleep. So keep your good dreams little brother, because I will watch over you forever, until you deny me my little pleasure, and hopefully that will never happen. Because I love you so much. Sweet dreams and know that I love you.
Good night Vegito, my brother and my love.
March 11th (Gogeta is six years old)
Today was one of the worst days of my life, my best friend, Gorno had betrayed me. Gorno totally took advantage of me. He's ten years old and I'm only a six year old child. I wasn't ready for that. I tried so hard to prevent him from advancing on me, but no matter what I did, Gorno's sex drive was stronger then my will. Lucky I managed to get away from him. Father-san wasn't too happy when he found out about this event, but lucky Gorno got what he deserved… he went to jail. Hopefully he won't be coming around to hurt me again. Oh Vegito, the thought of me taking advantage of anyone younger then me scares me even more now. After being through something so terrible as that, I don't think I will be able to do that to you. But that doesn't stop my feelings of you from growing. I love you even more, I appreciate you every day. You come up to me with that smile saying, Gogeta-san. Your so cute and adorable, I wish I could be more then just a brother, I wanna be your lover Vegito.
October 27th ( Day Gogeta meet Ryo, Gogeta's 10 years old)
Today I had a quick experience with Ryo. He was a nice enough boy, but he was younger then me, much like you are Vegito. If only there wasn't a difference in our ages… I would have been more open with you not to mention I would try harder. But now, things are getting even harder for me. I just don't think I can ever have a relationship with someone younger then myself. I've can't tell you this in person, I can only tell my emotions to myself and this book. But Vegito, if things were different, I would be yours without hesitation but for now, I just have to keep it cool.
January 23rd ( 6 years after Vegito's born, after Vegito tells of feelings)
I was so happy as those words left your lips, i felt as though my heart were about to burst. But I know what we have isn't right, it's wrong for me to take advantage of you and because of that our love will never be accepted. I never wanted to hurt you, believe me it hurt me so much when i denied you my love. But i also know you could be so much happier with someone else. I look into your eyes and the desire I had since you were just an infant. It pains me to have to say no to my little brother and also someone I love dearly. Vegito, you are just one of the hottest, most sexy boys I have ever seen. If my conscience wasn't in the way, I swear I would do anything to be with you Vegito, I swear I would. As time goes on my love for you grows so much more. That's why I found Hakkai, I truly love him though. I did at one time think I was using him to replace you, but after we spent more time together I knew that I loved him for him alone. He does remind me of you, his personality is similar, but then again he has his own special personality that he shows just to me. What have I done? I have fallen for two wonderful people and I can't stand hurting either of them. Deep down I still want Vegito, but I'm truly happy with Hakkai. If the time came I don't think I could choose between the two. That's why it's safe to keep Vegito at a distance, he needs someone his own age to keep him happy. Not someone like me, after everything I've done and been through I'm not worthy of his love. But you will always be special to me Vegito, that will never change. I am dirty for allowing Gorno to abuse me that way, and what I did to Ryo only blackens my soul even more. How could Vegito ever accept me if he knew of my terrible deeds? I know Hakkai has forgiven me and loves me dearly but it always comes back to Vegito and what he would think. He's always watching me too, he thinks I never saw it but I did. For a long time I have known of his feelings and when he built up the courage to tell me it hurt my heart. Why must I be the one to deny him? His tears are like daggers to my soul, I caused him this pain because of my stupid conscience. Why can't we be together? Why should we be separated when we are so close? Maybe we could be together, he deserves a chance at happiness after all. And I never liked hurting him either, his happiness had always come before my own throughout our lives. But I know I can't hurt Hakkai, if I were to be with Vegito then I would have to hurt my other love. Either way someone will be hurt and will hate me. It pains me to think that I would ever have to choose but I know that the time will come, and from the recent events I know that it will be soon. I will stay strong and hopefully my decision will be the right one in the end.
End of entries….
Vegito was in shock as he finished reading the personal entries of his brother. He looked up at Hakkai. " You knew about all this?"
" Of course I knew kiddo. I wanted you to see what your brother was feeling. It has never been easy on your brother and even know he thinks of you… he's worried that he might just lose you some day and that is the one thing he can never accept."
Vegito put the little book down. " I gotta see him… where is my brother?"
" The other room…"
Vegito gets up from the bed and with the help of Hakkai manages to get himself to the other room. Gogeta was sweating like mad. He was muttering something in his sleep and he was shaking. The two boys walked closer.
" Vegito… don't do this to me… wake up damn it! You better not be thinking of leaving me… I won't let that happen. I care about you too much to let you die on me now…." Tears started coming from the young Saiyan's face. " Please Vegito… wake up. Live. Come back to me. I need you here. It pains me dearly to see you so limp like this…. Please little brother, my love come back…."
Vegito couldn't believe what he was hearing. ' How is it, Gogeta-san can say things like this in his dreams and in a little book, but not to me.' He walked even closer and shook his big brother.
Gogeta shouted as he reawakened. " AHHHH! What's going on!"
Vegito jumps back in surprise. Hakkai smiles back at Gogeta. " Welcome back. Have a nice nap?"
" No I had a terrible nap. I had a nightmare, that Vegito died. It felt so real though. I could have sworn I felt his heart stop. And I felt like my own was stopping as a result… it was terrible." Gogeta stared right at Hakkai. " How is he!"
" Vegito is just fine… except for a little bruise on his head, he'll be fine."
" Uh?"
" He hurt himself when you woke up like you did."
Gogeta looks at Vegito. " You ok squirt?"
Rubbing head " Yeah I'm fine. Ouch… but I have a bone to pick with you."
Gogeta looks back at his brother with a confuses look. " What are you talking about squirt?"
" This book… when we you going to tell me?" Vegito holds up Gogeta's journal.
Gogeta glared at Hakkai. " Hakkai… that's private."
" You couldn't hide it from him forever, and now I think you two will understand each other more. I think it's a good step." Hakkai said. He looks away for a moment. " I think I'll leave you brothers to talk." Hakkai walks out of the house and drives back to his place.
Gogeta sits up and gestures his brother to sit next to him. " Come here squirt."
Vegito does as he was told. " I hope your not mad at me."
" Of course I'm not mad…. I'm more mad at Hakkai… but I'll let him get away with this one. But as for you Squirt, I'm glad you read that. Now you really understand my feelings."
" I'm glad I found out. But I hope we can over come those challenges together."
" Well I'm happy I have a little brother like you… alright enough mushy stuff for one evening… I gotta check the news."
Gogeta picks up the remote and turns the t.v on. There was a woman wearing a nice looking outfit on. " We interrupt your program for this big news flash……"
To be continued…
Hey everyone. How was that. Yeah I know… an evil cliffhanger. Sry about that, but this chapter was getting far too long and I have a big surprise for you in this next chapter. This last chapter was co-written by my good pal, KitsuneAkai13. I thank you once again for all the help in writing this chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. Please review.
trunks and goten
