Chapter 4

Greetings and salutations!! Thank you for reading my story! I got this chapter out quicker than expected, Takai, this is for you! I hope this chapter won't put you to sleep LiNa and you will enjoy it as much as you have the previous ones. I am almost finished and I have decided to post my other stories on starting this weekend. I am really enjoying your reviews and I hope you remain to the end of this story.

***I DO NOT OWN SAILORMOON!*** I'm just using the characters for the betterment of all mankind!!! Ok, so I have had too much chocolate today, It would make me truly happy to receive your response to my story. It would be the best birthday present…which is July 19!!! Ok, enough gabbing, on with the story!

Can Love that's lost be Found?

By CrystalDove

Chapter 4.5

Luna once again found that her fur was streaked with tears.

'He really loves her. Why then has he pushed her away?'

Serena woke up a few hours later with the strangest feeling that she wasn't alone last night. Looking down she noticed little crystals on the floor. Picking one up she noticed that it melted when she applied pressured to it. 'Crystal tears' she breathed. Collecting the rest she put them in the keepsake pocket of her journal. She smiled and got dressed for school. Amy and Lita looked at her with a new respect. After yesterday's conversation, they learned that Serena was more complex than they ever imagined. She was still wearing her hair down, her pace was slow yet steady, but her overall appearance seemed just a tad brighter. She also has resumed speaking at bit, even though it was word or a sentence.

Artemis and Luna arrived at Mission Control that afternoon. Both were still feeling the affects of the lack of sleep and emotional duress. Artemis was compiling his information when Luna patted in.

"Well you look quite refreshed Luna."

"Don't joke Artemis, I was up most of the night!"

"I know, so did you discover anything?"

"You first, we know what Serena is feeling."

"Well, he could win an Oscar for his performance of the last few weeks. Darien is completely in love with her; practically worships the ground she walks on. He has a shrine of her."

Artemis detailed the items that he found in his investigation.

"Really! Anything else?"

"Yeah, he has been having really horrible nightmares. The appearing to be reoccurring and I think she either dies or he think she dies in them. Then after about tossing for a few hours, he left the apartment around 4am."

"I know, he came to the house, I guess he wanted to make sure she was o.k. 'I'm not telling him about the journal yet, he doesn't need to know her fears.' Artemis, it was the most heart-wrenching sight. He was so tender with her. He watched her until sunrise. He kissed her before he left; told her he loves her. Oh Artemis, the love is there, why is Darien denying her?"

"It's not that simple of a question to answer Luna. Just because two people are in love, doesn't mean they can be together. Sometimes fate deals an unfair hand, like it did to them during the Silver Millennium."

"But Queen Serenity's wish was for them to be happy 'and' in love!"

"I know, but I have a feeling that this is not fate, but fear."

"Fear Artemis? I don't understand, what's there to be afraid of? For that matter, who is afraid?"

"The who is Darien and the what…I think its failure."

"Darien is afraid of failing at what?"

"Not being able to protect Serena and results in her getting killed. At least that is what he was mumbling in his sleep."

"But that doesn't make sense, you would think he would be around her more…unless he is unsure of himself or his abilities. If he doesn't believe he can always protect her, she could get so accustomed to him saving her that if he can't, she'll pay with her life…"

"So by pushing her away and making her more independent, she will fare better in battle."

"It's a good theory Artemis, but it's not like that. Serena has become more despondent and even with that performance yesterday her concentration is questionable. He should realize that and besides the real problem is helping him to admit his fear. Then we can help him get over it. By the moon Artemis, Serena will have her prince again!"

-Chapter 5-

The girls sat at the shrine holding the usual conversations. Serena sat off to the side and stared out the window, humming slightly. After doing this for a while, she headed out to the training grounds. The girls followed her all the while keeping on guard in case of a surprise assault. While she walked, Serena transformed.

"Boy she is getting good at that. She didn't even say a word!"

"Mina, you 'really' need to find a hobby; she just transformed!"

"Oh shut up Raye! Just because Serena isn't talking to you doesn't mean I'm taking her place as your sparing partner!" Sailor Moon turned to the girls…

"Transform now." The girls nodded and began their transformation, once they has completed them Sailor Moon spoke again.

"Attack me."

"What!" The soldiers said in unison.

"Attack me."

"Uh, are you sure Sailor Moon?"

"Do it." All her commands were mere whispers, but she was stern in her approach.

"Ok, use your lesser attacks first."

"Right Venus!"

"SHABON SPRAY"

Fog consumed the area, as quickly as the bubbles were launched they disappeared. The soldiers wasted no time in trying to figure out what happened.

"SUPREME THUNDER"

Lightning sailed towards Sailor Moon; she grinned slightly and caught it in her hands. Jupiter's eyes grew larger and she grinned as well. Sailor Moon threw the bolt at the girls and they scattered. Mars started mumbling something unintelligible under her breath, while Moon looked sheepishly at her. To show there were not hard feelings, Moon blew them a kiss. As she blew, the soldiers realized what happened to Mercury's bubbles. Mercury was frozen with her own attack and as she shook the ice off, she smiled.

"Ok, enough with the easy stuff!" Mars exclaimed. "Mars Fire Bird Charge!" The shriek of the fiery hunter was heard over the calm that was the shrine. Mars poised her hands together and guided the bird.

"Let's see how she gets out of this one! AKURYO TAISAN!" She threw the anti-evil scroll and it hit Sailor Moon dead center. Mars sent the beast of prey towards her leader and it disintegrated in a brilliant shower of light. Suddenly Mars started sweating.

"Hot, hot…I'm burning up!" Mars said as smoke began to rise from her fuku. "I'll be damned, she reflected my attack!" Mars said with glee in her eyes.

"Reflected?" Asked Jupiter.

"Somehow when my attacked hit her, I felt pain, like she repelled it without doing so physically. She…did…it…mentally."

It was time for Venus to try. Mars's tactic was good, using two attacks at once, but since Venus had been fighting as Sailor V, before reassuming her position as Venus, she has some more tricks up her sleeves. Reaching for the chain around her waist (AN: Manga folks, she word the love chain around her waist like a belt) she affixed it to a tree.

"Venus Love Me Chain" The remainder of the chain looped itself around Sailor Moon and Venus tied the rest to an adjoining tree. Moon stood patiently while Venus readied her attack. The purpose for all this, she figured, was to see how much stronger Moon had become; thus she tested her endurance with the soldiers.

"Jupiter, I need you."

"Yes Venus."

"On my count, I want to you aim your thunder at my attack."

"Ok."

"Venus Meteor…"

"Sparkling Wide…Pressure"

Jupiter's lighting sailed toward the glowing orange meteors.

"Shower!"

The ground seemed to heave in anticipation of the assault it was about to receive. The storm fell all around but not on their leader. Meteors hovered 'above' her and some were reflected 'from' her. With one mighty yell, Sailor Moon broke the energy chain, dispersing it into the floating shower of lighting and meteors. She mentally held it for as long as she could before hurling it at the soldiers. They began to scatter, but the attack never reached them; about 20 ft from them the attack dissipated. For the first time in over a month, a genuine smile appeared over Sailor Moon's face.

"That was awesome, Sailor Moon!" Jupiter exclaimed.

"Thank you but it was difficult and mentally exhausting."

"I though that was how you did that. If you want, I can show you some meditation techniques that will alleviate that so you won't be worn out."

"I would appreciate that Mars. I'm feeling a bit queasy now, so I'm going home. If it's possible, I would like for all of us to incorporate mental training into our regimen along with physical and magical attacks. Can I count on you to do this Mars?"

"It shouldn't be much of a problem. I just need to consult some manuals about group training."

"Good, Mercury I want you to get with Luna and Artemis, these places where Rubeus are attacking seem to form some geometrical pattern. If we are able to figure out the distance between the points, we could locate the next target; even the ultimate goal."

"I'll leave once we are finished here Sailor Moon." Moon nodded.

"Venus, your approach on combining attacks was good. I want you and Jupiter to figure out which attacks are best suited for each other. Mars and I use to do that in battle, but I want to know the probable outcome before, in case it doesn't work. Configure them to the type of battles we have had thus far. I know that Central has a record of all battles fought in its database in case there is something you can't remember. Up to now, Sailor Planet Power is the strongest, but it's too time consuming. Devising new quicker ways will save a lot of time and energy."

"Were on it Sailor Moon. Everyone we need to meet at the command center tomorrow at 12…is there anything else Sailor Moon?"

"No Venus, that is all, see you guys tomorrow." Sailor Moon transformed and left the training grounds.

"At least she is talking somewhat."

"Yeah Lita, but she is still in a lot of pain. Has anyone any idea where to being our sub-mission. I would say the source himself, but I'm still tempted to play with 'fire'…on him."

"I feel the same way, just 'light' him up!"

"Or 'cool' him down…gosh, we sound so cliché."

"Yeah, I know, but I think I'm going to someone who knows him well enough."

"Who Mina?"

"Andrew of course!"

"Brilliant, just brilliant."

"Well, I have to reclaim my title. Being the Senshi of Love and Beauty is a hard job…I'll catch him before the meeting. Let's get going guys, we've got assignments; let's go!"

The next few days were busy ones. The assignment Serena gave to Mina kept her busy for the next few days. She wasn't able to speak with Andrew and by the time Wednesday arrived, it looked like she was never going to. Darien was still plagued by horrific dreams that were physically taking their toll on him. He got at most 2 hours of sleep per night and his appearance was a far cry from usual. He was unshaven, clothing wrinkled and his hair was disheveled; but the most alarming thing was his deep bloodshot eyes. He walked with his head down and if he were cut, he would probably bleed coffee. He walked into the arcade and sat in the back booth rather than his usual spot at the counter. Andrew noticed his friend and noticed how horrible he looked.

'If possible, he looks worse than Serena does.' Andrew commented to himself.

"Darien, I know how private you are but you look terrible. Are you alright?" Darien looked up from the coffee Andrew sat in front of him. Andrew took a step back in surprise at how awful his friend looked. His eyes had bags under them and his normally dark skin was dramatically pale.

"I haven't had much sleep… uh, term papers due."

"You've never looked that bad before. I don't know man; there's something else wrong. I know it has something to do with Serena. Both of you look like walking death and I can't get her to talk at all. Look, my door is always open if you need someone to talk to."

Darien continued to stare at his coffee while Andrew walked away. Since that night when Serena broke their locket, he hadn't dreamt about their wedding.

That night, he had another dream.

Darien sat in a field of wildflowers; a gentle breeze cooled his skin. For once he thought his prayers had been answered and his nightmares were over. He heard his name being called sweetly…

"Darien…Darien where are you?"

"I'm laying here in the flowers

"Why Darien, why did you do it?"

"Do what?"

"KILL ME!?"

He looked up and saw Princess Serenity holding her hands on a gash on her side. Blood was pooling out, staining her white dress. He looked at himself and saw that he had become Endymion, in his hands was his sword covered with blood... her blood.

"Why Endymion? Why did you kill our love after we overcame so much to be together?"

He looked at her with trembling hands, hands that tightened the grip on the sword instead of loosening. He looked up again and Sailor Moon stood before him.

"Why Tuxedo Mask? I thought we were allies."

"We are, I'll always be there for you!"

"To hurt me, you mean!" Darien looked at himself and felt his tuxedo. "I thought a rose was a symbol of love? Is this how you feel about me?"

"Yes, this is how I feel."

He heard an audible gasp and looked up to see Sailor Moon pulling one of his steel-tipped roses from her chest.

"No Sailor Moon, I love you!"

"So that's why you broke up with me, you only love Serenity and Sailor Moon, not me."

He looked again and Serena stood in her school uniform clutching the stuffed bunny he gave her. Her grip was so tight on it; he could see her fingers turning white. Suddenly the color drained from her face and hands, she began to age rapidly. Darien was left speechless from the sight. He tried to run to her, to stop whatever was happening, but his feet would not or could not move. Finally she gave him one weak smile.

"Here Darien, this is for you."

She proceeded to hand in the stuffed bunny.

"No, this is yours…I won this for you."

"You don't love me, so I don't deserve to keep this; please Darien… if you ever cared about me…"

He reached forward and took bunny, in doing so he brushed his warm fingers across cold bony ones.

"I love you so much Darien…I'd give my life for you to be happy…"

Serena began to darken; her face sunk in making her bones more pronounced. Her skin began to melt off her bones and she fell away to ashes.

"No Serena…don't leave me!"

Darien squeezed the bunny to his chest and felt wetness permeating his shirt. He looked down and noticed the bunny was leaking blood…Serena's blood. The rabbit then took on a morbid appearance and attacked him.

====

Darien bolted out of bed, his body was wet with sweat and tears.

"Why? Why her, why must she suffer because of me? Damn these dreams!"

He held his head in his hands and wept bitterly. It was about 3:30 in the morning. He had been having these dreams basically killing the woman he'd die a million times for, for over 2 months now.

'I thought I could handle this on my own. Andrew, maybe you can help me.'

Putting on his clothes Darien proceeded to Andrew's. He decided to walk since he was no condition to drive. When Darien rung his bell at 4am, Andrew was bewildered and somewhat relieved.

"Darien are you alright?"

"No…I do need someone to speak with."

"I'm glad you've finally decided to talk, come in."

"I know it's early, but I couldn't sleep anymore…"

"Ok, take your time."

"It's so much, it may seem strange, but I need to start in the middle. You'll understand better."

Andrew settled on the couch, ready to discover what was happening with his best friend.

"It all started that day when I first met Serena. She was the most breathtaking girl I'd ever met. I used to see her around and saw her that morning and watched out for her that afternoon. That's the reason why I got hit with that test paper of hers, I was following her. Anyway, as time progressed I learned her schedule and made it a point to be wherever she was; so you can say I arranged to 'run' into her every morning."

This got a chuckle out of Andrew and an 'I told you so' look.

"That was the existence of us, I'd run into her in the morning and meet her at Crown for the daily argument. At night, I was always lonely and constantly thinking of her. Her smile, her bright eyes…hair the color of spun gold. She always smelled of lilacs and vanilla and she was the light of my dark existence."

"From what you say, I see how much you love her, but what happened, why are you both miserable now when it is obvious how much she cares for you?"

"That's the hard part of all this. In the beginning I pushed her away because I was afraid of hurting her. I thought being with her would jeopardize my mission; so I was cruel in the hope that she wouldn't break down my internal defenses. My mission was to find the Imperium Silver Crystal and the princess, not just any princess, but the Lunarian Princess, Serenity."

"Huh, uh Darien, I do believe you've had too much coffee the last few months. What princess and what crystal?"

"Yeah, I thought that at first but it's true. A few months ago, I started having dreams of this enchanted palace with a beautiful princess who begged me to free her by finding the crystal. I used to prowl the streets at night wearing a tuxedo and mask. One night I saw this beautiful girl fighting at OSA-P and I was drawn to her. She seemed so familiar yet so mysterious as well."

"Darien you sound like some cat burglar, what are you trying to say?"

"I'm Tuxedo Mask." He said producing a rose before Andrew's startled eyes "And the girl I was drawn to was Sailor Moon."

As Darien finished his statement, his form blurred for a moment and he was replaced by Tuxedo Mask.

"Whoa, my best friend is a super hero!"

"This is why I chose not to be involved with Serena, but something about her made me want to abandon my mission and be with her. So I decided to have the best of both worlds. I would search for the princess and aid Sailor Moon, who was also looking for her, and divert all my remaining attention to Serena. Sailor Moon was a strong, courageous and innocent soul; I adored her. The princess was beautiful, yet unattainable, but Serena with her bright smiles and caring words. She is so adorable when she is angry…"

"Wait, it seems like you had the hots for all three!"

"No, actually loving all 3, wishing that they were all the same girl. I loved Serena I think from the moment I first saw her. The night of the embassy ball she was all I could think about. I saw a girl there dressed like a princess and she looked so much like the one in my dreams. I danced with her and being with her made me feel the same way I felt when I was around Serena."

"Ok, that's a fourth girl? How many girls do you like Darien?"

"I kissed that girl…she had the sweetest, softest lips I have ever touched. And the funny thing was she told me that she wished I were there. The shocking thing is that this ball was a masquerade, I never got to see her face."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I went as Tuxedo Mask so I wondered how she knew me. The only people who really saw me were the scouts and the only one of them that was ever close to me was Sailor Moon."

"Wow, you've met Sailor Moon and the other senshi too. Is she nice?"

"Nice is an understatement; she is so sweet and very smart. She just doesn't have the confidence to believe in herself. That's how I help her. I try to encourage her when she battles. She doesn't like to fight, but knows she has to, to protect this planet. Aside from Serena, she is the only person that has truly gotten that close to me. I always had my suppositions about who she was…things about her always reminded me of a particular meatball headed girl."

"Hold on, I know you're not saying that Serena reminds you of Sailor Moon?"

"Why not, Serena is Sailor Moon."

"…"

"That night at the embassy ball, the princess I was dancing with dropped her handkerchief, on the corner was the inscription 'Serena Tsukino- 8th Grade'. She was also the princess in my dreams…so you see, if you wish hard enough, things can come true."

"Ok, you are telling me that Serena was the girl at the ball, the princess in your dreams and most importantly Sailor Moon!"

"All four have unique meatball hairstyles and enchanting sapphire eyes."

"Our little klutzy, sweet and caring Serena is the hero of Tokyo. Well this would explain why she would run out of here with…the…girls. Hey she is always with the same group of girls…are they?"

Darien smiled and nodded.

"The girls are the rest of the senshi." Darien went on to tell him about the current battle with the Black Moon and the fall of the Silver Millennium.

"So now you understand why I started in the middle or the present."

"Yeah, I can't believe that you and Serena are reincarnated forms of the Lunarian Princess and the Terran Prince. I thought that was just a fairy tale. Ok, this is great! You realized that you as Tuxedo Mask love Sailor Moon, Prince Endymion found his princess and you realized that you've always loved Serena. So what's the problem?"

"I started having these dreams over two months ago. Every night I would dream we were getting married and after saying our 'I do's' she would be torn away from me. This voice would ring in my ears demanding that I stay away from Princess Serenity; that me being with her was jeopardizing her life. I try to run to her, try to save her but the ground explodes beneath me and she falls…there is so much blood. I hear her pleading for me to rescue her but I can't reach her and when I do, I see her in a red wedding dress dyed from her blood. I wake up and whenever I go back asleep it starts over."

Andrew sat a watched his friend. Darien was visibly upset and crying.

"It's just a dream Darien."

"That's what I thought for the first week, but it became more horrific every time I would close my eyes. I did it to protect her; I broke her heart so she could live. But look what I've done to her…I've killed her spirit. She thinks I hate her, I just hate myself."

"I had no idea you were going through all of this. Why didn't you come to me earlier?"

"For what reason, I've been always made to suffer, it's apart of me; just not to this magnitude. I love her so much. Her smile makes me forget all the rejection of my childhood, being with her meant I was never alone…she's all the family I ever needed. Having her love filled this void inside me. When she told me that she loved me, I knew what being a whole, true man was like. Now I'm worse off than I was before. That quote is false, it's not better to have loved and lost…losing means that I will be alone forever. If I didn't find her, at least she would be happier than she is now. And tonight, in my dream…I lost all parts of her."

"What happened in your dream?"

Darien told Andrew his latest nightmare, by the time he finished both were wiping tears. Darien was so distraught, he didn't notice the gradual lighting of the room.

"Darien, what are you going to do now? It is obvious that avoiding her and denying your feelings could jeopardize things with the Black Moon. You need to figure out why you are having these dreams and deal with them. You and Serena need each other so much and I don't think that anyone can watch you suffer alone anymore. Hey, where are you going?"

"To see my angel."

"You're going to Serena's? It's almost 6:00."

"I know, I've gone to see her every morning. That's the only time I have been happy. She is so beautiful when she is asleep."

"Alright, be careful…love always finds the way!"

Darien jogged to Serena's. Upon approaching her house he thought about transforming into Tuxedo Mask but felt that she might have sensed it with her heightened abilities. It seemed that his planet felt his need and a strong wind lifted him up into the trees waiting branches. He was cradled to her window and he slipped in. Luna heard something in the trees and knew that Darien was making his daily early morning visit. She got an idea and pulled Serena's covering off her. Luna knew that Darien would react to seeing Serena like this and would try to protect her. When Darien looked around he noticed that Serena was uncovered. Her light blue p.j.s were printed with moons and stars. He couldn't resist seeing her like that. He gently picked her up and held her in his arms. Almost instantly she reacted to his presence, his touch and curled up deeper in his embrace. He couldn't ignore the warmth he felt and feeling at such peace he leaned forward grasping the cover and placed it over them. Within moments he also fell asleep. Luna watched as the two snuggled up together; she couldn't help the few tears that escaped her eyes. Both had this serene look to their faces and Luna placed herself by the door listening for Serena's mother so Darien wouldn't get caught. Luna wasn't the only one watching the slumbering pair, high above Tokyo, one star twinkled joyously. About 6:55 Luna walked under the bed and started making noise. Darien woke up wondering when did he get a cat.

'I don't have a cat…whoa wait, neither are my walls pink.'

It took him a moment to realize that the warmth he was feeling beside him wasn't supposed to be there. He looked down at the waves of golden wheat and saw the small smile that played across her face. He rose quickly before Luna emerged and his depression gripped him again. Serena was also affected by his departure and tears resumed rolling down her cheeks.

"Don't cry my little bunny." He whispered while stroking her face. "Where would the would be without your smile, the only tears you should cry should be those of joy. I love you so much Serena."

He bent down and tenderly kissed her on her cheek. As he walked away from her, Luna came out from under the bed. Serena slowly opened her eyes. She heard someone talking her and the kiss she felt was too real to be a dream. She sat up slowly and thought she saw Darien standing at her window. He turned his head towards her while taking on a golden glow. He smiled at her and vanished. Serena blinked for several moments.

"I must be dreaming."

She muttered before lying back down. On the roof Tuxedo Mask smiled and took to the rooftops towards home.

-End chapter-

Another chapter finished and I think that there will be a total of 9 chapter in all. As I was looking over this I saw I could comprise a soundtrack. There are so many songs mentioned in this story but I couldn't help it. I promise you that I didn't write the chapter to fit the song, I added songs later and surprisingly they fit in with the chapters; especially the ones by Mariah Carey and Sade. It's like these songs were made especially for them. Please stay tune and thanks for your reviews. Ja ne!