Legal stuff: I don't own these characters, nor the original idea. I just write about them and watch them whenever I get the chance. This is based on Ranma ½ created by Rumiko Takahashi and Co. Please don't sue me. I'm just a fan (not a fanboy).

Ranma-chan: female Ranma

P-Genma: Genma in Panda form his signs

C-Shampoo: Shampoo cat form

D-Mousse: Mousse in duck form

'…': denotes thinking

(B-D) : Scene Change!

:-) Flashback (-:

LEO: Low Earth Orbit


"She did WHAT!" exclaimed a completely shocked Tatewaki Kuno.

"You heard right, Kuno baby. She's the one who set up your two loves up with Happosai."

"If it were anyone other than you, Nabiki Tendo, I would have smitten you where you sat for slandering the name of my twisted sister, but in this case…"

"You know, they would be ever so grateful if you came to their rescue. They may even think about going out with you."

Kuno stood up in dramatic pose to state, "Ah, Akane Tendo and the pig-tailed girl, fear not my loves, for if that evil known as Happosai should dare crawl from under whatever shadows he should come, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High School shall smite thee where you stand!" Thunder could barely be heard outside.

"But," interrupted Nabiki, "you can't just go in and fight him."

That peaked Kuno's interest. "Oh really? Then pray tell, Nabiki Tendo, of how a woman with no combat experience should know when a master swordsman such as myself should do battle or not against such a great evil?"

"Well, for one, I wouldn't just go and fight him when they aren't watching." Kuno arched an eyebrow. "I'd wait till he found them and then come to their rescue." Nabiki then mustered the willpower to speak. "Then they can see just how…great a swordsman you really are." 'I feel so dirty.'

"Ah, I see," said a thoughtful Kuno. "As of yet they have not seen the full grace and beauty of my craft, and they shall also see my love for them in action. Very well, I shall take your advice into consideration."

"Ok, Kuno baby. I'm sure they'll," she snickers, "love you for it."

"You are indeed a woman talented in strategy. By your leave."

Kuno stood up and left the ice cream parlor as Nabiki considers her next move.

'Well, that should cover Ranma for a night or two. At least he'll give him enough of a distraction to escape.' She sighed. 'The things I do for family. I hope Akane and Ranma can get through this month in one piece. I can't make any money off of them with Happosai scaring them like this…speak of the devil.' She couldn't have possibly thought of a more fit description of the person that sat down on the table in front of her. "So, grandfather. What can I do for you today?"

"You gotta help me, Nabiki," said Happosai. "You gotta get Cologne off my back. I can't have any fun because of her." Nabiki winced at Happosai's mention of "fun". "Every time I'm about to have some fun, she shows up. Didn't we say something about no interference from anybody after the fight?"

Nabiki put on her thoughtful face. "Let's see…I can't seem to think of anything right now." Happosai put a bra on the table. Nabiki, shocked, shoved it back at him. "Uh uh, you know what currency I take."

"But this is worth much more than mere yen," he replied.

"Happy?"

"Ok, ok. Sheesh, what's wrong with the youth these days." Happosai took back the bra, only for it to disappear. "What the?"

"Nice try, Happosai," whispered Nabiki, "but that's my bra and you know it."

Happosai looked about to plead for it back, then conceded. His hand suddenly produced about five thousand yen, and just as quickly replaced the passer-by's wallet to his pocket.

"Now do you remember?"

'Wow, he's good.' "Let's see, oh yes, I remember now." Happosai's face lit up in hope. "There is something I can do."

"What? Tell me."

"Well, according to my calculations, and thus reducing it to its lowest terms, adding the fact that you did win the fight, also factoring that Cologne and the Kunos are the only ones not included in the 'Not to disturb' clause, causes me to conclude that we can do absolutely nothing." Happosai face-faulted.

"What do you mean nothing?"

"There's nothing in the agreement to prevent her from chasing you to make you her husband. None of us saw that coming, now did we?"

A corner of the parlor became shadow as Happosai crouched there and cried. Nabiki took the chance to slip out. Unseen by anyone, a grin appeared on her face at a job well done.

(B-D)

The Ucchan's was closed early tonight, much to the dismay of a few regulars. Despite the darkness on the restaurant floor, there were two rooms lit on the second floor. In one room was stillness, and there was more than enough activity in the second room to make up for it. Ranma paused for a moment as Akane and Ukyo set themselves before him. He was used to going one-on-one, but he rarely got to go up against two at the same time. A drop of sweat ran down his face and onto his lip. He licked it off. It's been a while since he had this much of a workout. Akane was first, her movement as fierce and as powerful as ever. Ukyo joined in the union of Ranma and Akane with her own strength and speed, farther pushing Ranma to his limit. Soon, the three fell into a rhythm of movement similar to that of a ballet. Sweat came from their brows as they came closer and closer to what they wanted most. Finally, in the end, Ranma leaned up against the wall, wiping the sweat off of his forehead. Needless to say, all three were satisfied.

"Man, that was great!" exclaimed Ukyo.

"Yeah, I feel so much better now," said Akane.

"Man, you two are good," complimented Ranma. "It's not often I get to have two sparring partners at the same time." The author smirks at the reader. : )

"Yeah," replied Ukyo. "I'm feeling so much better now, too."

"I'm glad to hear it," said Akane with a smile.

'Wow,' thought Ranma. 'I don't get to see those two get along very often. Akane's even smiling. We should stay over here more often. Ukyo really helps Akane push herself more.'

"So, who's up for a bath?" asked Ukyo.

Ranma became nervous, but tried to hide it.

"I guess we can go first," said Akane.

"Um, yeah. I'll go after you two are done," said Ranma, somewhat relieved. "By the way, Ucchan, what happened to your window?"

"Well," she started as she glanced at the wooden board in the wall.

Suddenly it shattered as a metal ball crashed through it and landed next to Akane's left foot. A bucket of water followed through which hit Ranma square in the face, followed by another small object.

"What the?!" yelled Ranma-chan as she noticed something on her chest. "AAARRRGGGGHHH!!!!!"

"Raaaannnnnmaaa!"

"It's the freak!" exclaimed Ukyo.

"DIE YOU MONSTER!" yelled someone from where the window once was.

"Huh? Mousse?" observed Akane.

Mousse launched a volley of chains and spiked yo-yos at Happosai, who dodged them all. Ranma-chan, being quicker her girl form, managed to dodge them all as well.

"I'm not going to let you stalk Shampoo anymore! I'm finishing you off right here right now!"

"Ranma," said Happosai, "take care of him, will ya'?"

"No way, you old goat."

"Remember the deal, Ranma."

"I know, I know. I'm your toy, but I'm not your weapon! You got that? You fight your own battles!" All in the room were impressed at Ranma's unusual use of his brain.

He shot a mean look at her. "Remind me to 'punish' you for that…whoa!" as Happosai dodges a flying scimitar. "Heh, you really gettin' serious, aren't you, China boy?" He pulled out a bomb.

"Not in my house you don't!" yelled Ukyo as she smacked the bomb out of the opening with her battle spatula. It exploded safely outside. Happosai glared at Ukyo. "Please don't damage my home," she requested.

Happosai sighed, and then looked at Mousse. The next thing Mousse knew he was out the window as Happosai tackled him. Ranma and Akane followed to watch as Ukyo stayed upstairs. Something caught her eye that caused her blood to boil. It was a black rose pedal.

"Don't interfere," said Mousse. "He's mine!"

"Good luck," mused Ranma-chan, already knowing the result of this fight.

Happosai weaved through the chains and rope and threw a punch to Mousse's face. He dodged, and followed up with an uppercut, which tagged Happosai on the chin. Happosai landed hard on his back onto the hard steel chain-covered asphalt.

"Wow, nice shot," said Akane.

"Yeah, he's totally serious right now," said Ranma-chan. "I'm glad I don't have to fight him this time."

Happosai stood up to face Mousse.

"Well, not bad," said Happosai. "I can see why Cologne keeps you around. Well, since you're so serious, let's see how you can handle…" he looks around to make sure Ukyo is not around, "…HAPPO FIRE BURST!"

"Uh oh," Ranma-chan and Akane said in unison.

Mousse saw the bombs coming and leapt out of the way. Soon, however, Mousse was caught by a flying piece of debris. Happosai brought out another bomb.

"Say goodnight, China boy."

SLASH!

"Huh?" Happosai noticed as something sliced his bomb in half. "Aww, nuts."

BOOM!

Happosai lay still face down for a moment before he twitched. Mousse, Akane, and Ranma-chan searched the area to see what had cut the bomb.

"From the darkness comes the most pure evil to ever walk the face of Japan…" said a voice from the shadows of the alley behind Happosai. He stood up and all faced the direction of the voice. "You, who would stalk those whose hearts belong to another…" a figure begins to walk out into the light. "I have come to smite thee, but I see that I am not the only one." Soon the figure stopped in the light. "Mousse, under normal circumstances I would say to you hold your hand and let me strike, but I heard what you said about him stalking your love. Is this true?"

"Um, yeah," answered Mousse.

"Very well then. This evil being also stalks my loves Akane Tendo and the pig-tailed girl. Shall we join forces to rid the world of this evil?"

"What the?" said Ranma-chan. "Mousse and Kuno working together? That'll be the day."

"Well, I do owe you one," replied Mousse.

Happosai blinked twice. "Huh?"

"Have at thee!" yelled Kuno as he attacked Happosai.

He was barely able to evade the sudden and fierce onslaught that Kuno unleashed. Ranma-chan's and Akane's mouths dropped as they saw Kuno's sword moving at near Chestnut Fist speed. Happosai finally managed to trip Kuno but couldn't follow up because of the flying broad sword aimed for his head. Happosai barely managed to duck before the broad sword hit. At this point Ranma-chan noticed the light from the street lamp reflect off of Kuno's sword.

"Um, Akane…"

"What, Ranma?"

"We should back up some."

"Why?"

"Mousse and Kuno are both really serious here."

"What? How can you tell?"

"First of all, Mousse is using mostly fatal attacks, throwing swords and edged weapons instead of just balls and spiked yo-yos. And second, Kuno's using a real katana blade." Akane looked at the weaponry lying on the ground to see many blades and knives connected to the ends of the chains. Some of the chains were even bladed themselves. She then turned to Kuno and saw what he was yielding. Sure enough, it was a katana blade instead of his normal wooden sword. "If any of those stray shots come toward us…"

"Okay, okay…let's find some cover."

As Happosai fought for his life outside, Ukyo slashed at the spot where her opponent's head once was. She turned to face her, battle spatula ready. Her opponent stood before her in all of her grace as she twirled her ribbon upward.

"Ohohohohohoh! You'll have to do better than that, dear, before you can even think about defeating me."

"This whole mess is your fault, Kodachi," fumed Ukyo. "We wouldn't be living in this hell if it weren't for you!"

"Well, don't fret, peasant. I shan't be long. I've merely come to reclaim my love from your wretched hands."

"And how did you know he was here?"

"Why, I have eyes all over. There's very little that I don't know."

"Well, if you know so much, then you would've realized that you're also putting Ranma through hell right now."

"Nonsense. I merely removed my three major obstacles from the race. Ranma would want only the purest woman for his wife, and I am the purest."

"Yeah, you're pure alright," growled Ukyo. "You're purely insane!"

Ukyo leapt at Kodachi again, this time trying to sweep her off of her feet. Kodachi hopped over the spatula and was about to attack when she noticed the spatula still beneath her. Ukyo grinned as she flipped Kodachi over her and face first into the wall. She rose slowly and glared at Ukyo.

"You'll pay for that, you hussy!"

"You're just getting what you deserve!"

At that they both attacked each other again. After three sliced ribbons later, Kodachi began to realize that Ukyo's battle spatula was a lot sharper than reported. Not only that, but there was an anger-fed strength that was pushing her back, causing her to be more defensive than she wanted to. She then took the offensive and started to push Ukyo back against the wall. Using her patent-pending razor hoop, Kodachi went for the head, only for it to be knocked out of her hand. She looked behind her to see Happosai ducking and Kuno in post-attack pose.

"My apologies, my dear sister, but you are in the way of divine vengeance."

"It is not I, but you who are in the way of vengeance, brother dear."

"Kuno!" yelled Mousse. "Behind you!"

Both Kunos spun to see Happosai coming out of the bathroom with two buckets. He threw both at the Kunos, who ducked them. They followed the buckets as they hit Mousse, and their eyes began to twitch.

"QUACK!" exclaimed an angry D-Mousse.

"What just happened to him?" asked Kodachi.

"This is powerful dark magic indeed. That man truly is the master of the dark sorcerer Saotome."

"It's called a curse, Kuno," said Ukyo with battle spatula in hand.

"A curse?" he started, but then he noticed Happosai jumping out the remains of the window. "Oh no you don't! Come back here and receive my divine vengeance!" And Kuno followed Happosai.

Kodachi, on the other hand, stood shocked as she saw the man-turned-duck throw several knives at the retreating form of Happosai. She then looked toward Ukyo, who was ready to attack.

"I shall have to leave this matter for another day, peasant. Ohohohohohoh!"

Kodachi jumped out of the growing hole in the wall and landed. She was about to leave when suddenly…

WHAM!

"Whoa, Akane, she just barely landed!" exclaimed Ranma-chan.

"Yeah, I know," replied Akane as she replaced the Near-Undodgable Hammer of Clobbering™ to its proper dimension. "I've been itching to do that since this whole thing started."

Ukyo came out of the restaurant ready for battle.

"Where is she?" asked Ukyo. Ranma-chan pointed to the sky as Kodachi went ding. "Dang, I almost had her."

"She attacked you?" asked Akane.

"Yeah, she knew Ranchan was here. How? I don't know…" Ukyo just then noticed the damage around her. "What happened here?"

"Mousse and Kuno fought Happosai rather impressively tonight," answered a raspy voice from above. The three girls looked up at the street lamp and saw a shadow jump down. The three assumed defensive stances. "Relax, children. I'm not here to fight you. There's been enough fighting for one night, anyway."

"The ghoul?" gasped Ranma-chan.

"I have a feeling that Happy won't be bothering you for the rest of the night. Not with Kuno chasing him."

"How did they find us and know when to come?" asked Ranma-chan. "They were dead serious tonight."

"So I've noticed," replied Cologne. "But enough about that for now. Get some rest. I would like to meet with the three of you tomorrow at my restaurant. I have something I wish to discuss with you."

"Quack."

"Come, Mousse. We shall return to the restaurant now." Mousse nodded and began to walk. Cologne turned to leave, but paused for a moment. "And Ms. Tendo, bring your sister Nabiki with you. I'm sure she'll be interested in what we discuss tomorrow." And with that, the two Amazons left.

The three girls watched them disappear into the night.

"Ok, so now she wants to talk to us," said Akane, "but why?"

"I don't know," said Ukyo. "I'm just wondering how I'm gonna get my wall fixed."

"Man," sighed Ranma-chan as she rubbed her temples. "This is gonna be a long month."

(B-D)

Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews, guys. I really like the response I've gotten so far. To respond to the reviewers…

Dana-san: I have my reasons for her power, and that's a good idea. I like it : )

Sophie-Chan: Don't worry, Happi's not gonna die. The same Ranmaverse rules still apply. And there's good reason why he runs from Cologne. Think about what could've happened those first few days after the battle. ; )

Runnerz: I'm glad you enjoy this, and she can't save them every time…but dude, this is PG-13 for a reason. : ) But things aren't going to be that easy for them, either.

I hope you like this installment. Anyway, I'll try to update soon. Thanks for reading and I hope to hear from you all soon. (B-D)