Ranma-chan: female Ranma

P-Genma: Genma in Panda form his signs

C-Shampoo: Shampoo cat form

D-Mousse: Mousse in duck form

'…': denotes thinking

(B-D) : Scene Change!

:-) Flashback (-:

LEO: Low Earth Orbit


The Misadventures of Ryoga and Nabiki

Part 2

It was quiet at the campsite, with only the sounds of nature and some running water in the distance filling the air. He sat there, pondering, wondering, agonizing on how to talk to her. He knew that she wouldn't like that kind of news, but if he wanted to live after they returned, he'd have to think of something quick. Looking around the campsite again, he simply sat there, not going anywhere, especially since Nabiki had so thoughtfully tied her end of the rope to a nearby tree. What was taking her so long, anyway?

"Ah, this is the life," sighed Nabiki as she enjoyed the secluded all-girls hot spring. "Who knew that treasure hunting would be so nice?" She glanced back to where her stuff was, including a ragged old fishing pole with a suction cup instead of a hook at the end. "He could've done a better job hiding that thing, hiding it under an aluminum foil ball painted to look like a rock, come on. Anyway, I'll just relax my weary bones for a while before going back to Ryoga." She narrowed her eyes for a moment. "I know he's looking forward to our conversation tonight." She fully closed her eyes again, this time relaxing. She sank a little so that only her nose and eyes were above the water. Her ears, however, were under that water, so she couldn't hear someone approach, pick up the fishing pole, examine it, then leave, all while wearing a pair of wooden sandals.

(B-D)

"RYOGA!"

Ryoga jumped to his feet as he heard Nabiki running full steam ahead at him. He cocked his head as Nabiki skid to a halt, breathing heavily.

"What's going on?" he asked confusedly.

"I found that fishing pole thing, but it was stolen!"

"What?!"

"Yeah, I know. We have to find it…" she got a curious look to her face. "What did that thing do again?"

Ryoga pratfell.

"It's called the Fishing Pole of Love!" he answered angrily. "If anyone hits someone with that suction cup and 'reel' that person in, then that person falls deeper and deeper in love with the one with the rod! How could you forget something like that?"

Nabiki casually shrugged. "Oh, ok then. Anyway, best place to check is the inn over by the hot spring."

"Boy, you sure calmed down quick, didn't you?"

She shrugged again. "I'm not in a rush anymore. Besides, it's been forever since I've run like that." Ryoga face faulted.

"Ok…but why the inn? That would be the last place I'd go after stealing something."

Nabiki paused for a moment, then Ryoga finally noticed it as well.

"Maybe because there seems to be some kind of ruckus over there so conveniently after a magical artifact of unknown power had been stolen, perhaps?"

"Ok, you win."

Nabiki winked at him. "Of course, Ryoga-baby. We can leave our stuff here for now, let's go." She started to run when she heard something hit on the ground. She turned to see Ryoga lying flat on the ground. "What are you doing?"

"Um, I'm still kinda tied to this tree over there," he replied as he pointed to the rope on his wrist. Nabiki sighed as she walked back and untied the rope to the tree. "Thanks."

"Ok, Ryoga," as she tied the rope to her wrist, "let's get going. The sooner we get this pole the sooner I can go home."

As they arrived at the inn, they found a small group of people just inside the door. As they entered, what they found was a mob scene. About seven girls, three older women, and two men were yelling at the poor front desk clerk and someone else as they did their best to calm the angry mini-mob. Ryoga and Nabiki glanced at each other, knowing that there was no way they were going to get any answers there. Fortunately, a hand of fate rested itself upon Nabiki's shoulder which caused a minor chain reaction starting with the scaring of the begezees out of her, causing her to jump into Ryoga's arms, who reflexively held her, but due to her awkward positioning his hand was on her right breast, making Nabiki very angry, who pulled out the Near-Undodgable Hammer of Clobbering™ and pounded him mightily, only to feel something poke her near the upper-middle of her back, making her want to turn around yet finding that she couldn't, successfully halting this minor chain reaction.

"Calm down, Nabiki, it's me."

The voice sounded very familiar, which helped her calm down. She still couldn't move, and due to the loud volume of the crowd she couldn't readily recognize the voice. Thankfully the person came into her view.

"Huh? Dr. Tofu?"

"Are you calm enough to talk yet?"

"Um…yeah…"

"Ok." He walked behind her and pressed the same pressure point, allowing Nabiki to move once again. She spun around with an angry glare. Dr. Tofu held up his hands in verbal defense. "Hey, I only wanted to get your attention, next thing I knew you were hammering Ryoga, so I had to stop you for a moment. I didn't want to get clobbered, too."

Nabiki took a few breaths to regain her composure.

"Ok," she started only to find that Tofu was no longer in front of her. She found him kneeling next to Ryoga. After two pressure points, they both got to their feet. "What's going on here, Doc?"

"Let's go up to my room so I can explain."

The three managed to get away from the angry mini-mob and soon were in Tofu's second-floor room. It mainly had the basics; wooden walls with a few paintings, a table, a bookshelf, a bath room, even a TV. What caught Nabiki's attention, however, was the presence of two slept-in futons.

"So, I see I wasn't the only one from home who needed a vacation."

"Well," started Ryoga, "it's not quite a vacation…"

"We're actually out here to help Ranma back at home. We were just about to go back when we heard something over here."

"Hmm, I see, although I have to admit, you two sure hid it well."

"Hid what?" questioned Nabiki.

"That you two were a couple."

"WHAT?!" she yelled.

"How did you know?!" exclaimed Ryoga.

"WHAT?!" she yelled again, this time at Ryoga.

Ryoga produced two giant sweat beads. "Uh oh…"

"We are not a couple," grinded Nabiki through her teeth.

"Sorry," apologized Dr. Tofu as he again raised his hands in verbal defense. "Although I wonder which side of the Tendo family hates the engagement portion of the relationship?"

"Doctor Tofu," she steamed.

"Just kidding, just kidding," Tofu smiled. "It's been a while since I got under your skin, Nabiki."

"So what's going on here, doctor," asked Ryoga, trying desperately to change the subject as Nabiki glared at him.

"Oh yes." Tofu sat at the table with the others following suit. He took a deep, calming breath before he started. "Things were calm and peaceful here until earlier tonight. It started when someone heard a short scream. A few people heard this and went to investigate. They didn't find anything. After about an hour, however, other people started disappearing." Tofu took another breath. "We were just up here to relax. It had been so long since I've seen her. Just as things were finally getting good between us again, she was suddenly flying over some nearby rock formations." He started to cry a little as he shook his fist. "When I got to where she should've landed, she wasn't there anymore." He began to collect himself again. "Apparently whatever's behind this has already kidnapped about four people."

"So that's what the commotion downstairs is all about."

Everyone in the room was startled as the voice came from the entrance of the room.

"What the? Guy?"

"Glad you remember me, Ryoga," replied the fighting gamer. "I heard the commotion and came by to check things out. I was at the counter trying to help the receptionist calm down the crowd when I noticed a giant hammer behind everybody. I thought I'd check that out. I did hear everything, though. I do apologize to eavesdropping, but it sounds like you could use a little help."

Ryoga glanced at Nabiki and Tofu replied. "Sure. We really could use some help, Mr…?"

"My name is Guy, Guy Bogard Hyabusa."

"You know, you don't have to say your full name every time you introduce yourself," chided Nabiki.

"Heh," Guy rubbed the back of his head, "sorry, force of habit."

"Well, if you two know him, then that's even better," said Tofu. "We should split up and look for clues."

"Cool," said Guy as he gleefully rubbed his hand together. "Multi-party dungeon crawl." He noticed the three confused looks directed at him. He crossed his arms and hung his head. "Never mind."

(B-D)

Outside two people were walking through the darkness, trying to make their way down the stone path to the Jacuzzi area.

"I have to admit, I'm glad that I ended up with you, Doc."

"Well, Ryoga's not that bad a guy when he's not trying to beat up Ranma and that Guy person seems like a nice person, too, Nabiki."

"I'd rather not talk about them right now," she said rubbing her temples. "I'm just mentally exhausted from trying to direct Ryoga since yesterday and I'm glad to finally talk to somebody normal. I really need a break."

"Interesting. Since when did you start going on training trips?"

"Why do I have to keep answering that?"

"You know what they say, if more than two people say it…"

"I know, I know, don't remind me."

"Ok. You do seem pretty tired."

"You have no idea."

"Shh." Tofu scanned their surrounding as Nabiki tried to do the same. He had sensed something watching them. He thought he saw a pair of eyes, but they vanished as soon as he focused on that spot. Noticing nothing else, he relaxed a little. "Sorry, I thought I heard something."

"No problem. You're better at that kind of thing than I am."

"Don't sell yourself short, Nabiki. Contrary to popular belief, you do have some talent in the art."

"Really? And how would you know that?"

"Anybody who can use Akane's mallet has to have some talent," he replied with an arched eyebrow.

"You know, I never thought of that…"

"You know, martial arts isn't just a journey of the body, but of the mind, too."

"I probably have the strongest mind in my family, but Akane has me in the physical strength department…aarrrhhhH!!!!!"

"Nabiki!"

Sploosh!

Nabiki was suddenly pushed into the first Jacuzzi as Tofu leapt between her and her attacker. Nabiki popped her head above the water as the water jets kicked in.

"Man, now I gotta change clothes."

Tofu was sizing up his opponent as another attacker joined the fight. Tofu recognized both of them.

"Wait a minute, you two were among the missing people. Your friends are worried about you, but why are you attacking us?"

"Because you're trying to take our love away," said the shorter girl with black hair. The lack of lighting hid her face, but her eyes glowed an evil white for cinematic purposes.

"We don't mind sharing," said the other, taller girl with dark blonde hair, "but we do mind it if you try to take him."

"What are you talking about?"

"Uh oh," realized Nabiki.

The girls attacked Tofu, swinging wildly at him, using all three thousand seconds of combined fighting experience that they had acquired over their lifetime. Not used to fighting against the void of technique, Tofu was hard pressed not to get hit or to hurt these girls who couldn't have been older then sixteen. Nabiki had no problem with that, however, as she emerged from the Jacuzzi and pushed the taller girl into the shorter one and they both tumbled into the same Jacuzzi she had just exited. Tofu, obviously relieved, walked around as the girls floundered in the water. He hit a pressure point on the back of their necks, bringing them both to unconsciousness. They pulled both out of the water so they wouldn't drown.

"Wow, what was that all about?"

"I think I know what's happening."

"Tell me."

"Let's see," she said as she searched the shorter girl's body for a mark. "Of course, it would hit there, wouldn't it?"

"What?"

"Have you ever seen this mark before?" as she puller the girl's shirt slightly off her left breast to reveal a small carp-like hickey.

"Hmmm, I think I've seen that one time in one of my books on folk lore, but I never thought I'd actually see it."

"This is from a magical artifact called…"

(B-D)

"…The Fishing Pole of Love? That's got to be the craziest thing I've ever heard, and I've seen a lot of crazy stuff."

"I know it sounds weird, but I should know. I hit a guy I knew by accident with it and next thing I knew he was trying to run away with me to start a 'new life' together. Needless to say, neither I nor his fiancée was very happy about that."

"Geez, Ryoga, I feel for you."

"It's ok, that's all part of the past now, but I'm still going to kill him next time I see him."

"Kinda vengeful, aren't we?"

"You don't know the kind of hell I've seen because of him."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down, my friend. I see it's a touchy subject, so let's just focus at the task at hand, shall we?"

"Alright, but I still don't know why we have to be in the girls bathing room."

"We'll be fine. Remember, we helped get that crowd dispersed and everybody's staying in their rooms till we figure this out. The owner said that we could go anywhere to solve this problem, and one of the girls did disappear from in here…let's see." Guy made a hand seal-like gesture, and then held his hand between his eyes. "Old School RPG Gamer's Special Skill, RPG Room Treasure Scan."

"You say all that just to look around the room?"

"No, it sets my mind to find that one object that's out of place. In RPGs, or Role-Playing Games, whenever you're inside a building you can usually find an item in a particular spot or object, normally a jar of some sort. Sometimes you can find a special item or skill by finding an object that seems out of place. Hmm, do women in Japan normally use the bathroom standing or sitting?"

Ryoga fought off a nosebleed. "How the heck am I supposed to know that?"

"Back home in the U.S., the vast majority of women use the bathroom sitting down, and every public women's restroom only have sit-down stalls to my knowledge. I'm assuming that the same is true here in Japan, right?"

"I…I guess so?"

"Well, then why would a women's bathing room have a men's urinal?" he asked as he pointed to a lone urinal on the opposite wall.

"Heh, that is strange."

"That's what I thought." They walked to the urinal to inspect it. Apparently they were the first to notice it, as it was remarkably clean with no sign of use. Guy tried to flush it, but no water came out. "If that just doesn't scream 'secret passage,' I don't know what does," he smirked.

"If that's the case, how do we get through?"

"Don't know. Normally there's some kind of switch or button around, or at least, that's the case in most video games."

"Don't you ever live in the real world?"

"Of course. All I do is excessively use my gaming skills in real life."

"Heh, okay. Let's find that switch."

After about five minutes of searching, they found nothing. Guy picked up a bath pale and, finding nothing under it, tossed it over his back. He then turned to follow its path expectantly. Nothing happened when it landed, even after several seconds.

"Well, so much for 'accidentally' finding the switch that way. Only thing left is to break down this wall, but we don't have anything to use."

"That all?" smirked a confident Ryoga. "No problem."

Guy looked at Ryoga like he was crazy. "And what can you do to a wall. I know you hit like a sledgehammer, but not even you can punch through a wall."

"Just stand back and watch." Guy went behind the wall of lower sinks and peeked his head above it, wondering what the heck Ryoga was going to do. He glanced back at Guy, finally able to show off one of his own 'special attacks.' "BAKUSAI TENKETSU!"

Ryoga seemed to hit the wall with only his finger. Guy was amused at this silly technique, that is, until the wall exploded. The dust settled and Ryoga appeared, looking quite smug at the moment. Guy slowly emerged from his cover, dragging his jaw along the floor in disbelief.

"What the freaking heck did you just do?"

"Well, I didn't exactly 'punch' through the wall."

"No, you freaking JABBED it with your freaking FINGER and the freaking wall freaking EXPLODED!!!!!!"

"That's the Breaking Point Technique for you. It makes things go boom."

Guy needed several minutes to recover. He had fought a guy who could blow up walls just by touching them and lived. He had no idea who he was messing with.

"That…that technique…it doesn't…affect…living…"

"No, it doesn't." Guy sighed in obvious relief. "By the way, you were right, there is a secret passageway over here."

"Ok…we'll go after I sit down for a bit. That was a little unbelievable, you know. I've never seen an extra character's special ability in real life before."

Ryoga kept his smug grin on his face. If exploding walls did this to the man, he did not want to go anywhere near the Tendo Dojo.

(B-D)

Nabiki and Dr. Tofu had just brought the two unconscious girls to the inn owner's back office. After explaining to the owner what they believed to be enough to keep her at least somewhat at ease, the left again to find the other missing girls.

"That fishing pole is truly frightening, Nabiki."

"Yes, it is, Doctor."

"And just how is that supposed to Ranma with his situation?"

"I figure that if I rent the fishing pole to Cologne, that she'll hit Happosai with it and that'll at least last until the end of this week. Afterwards, so they won't try to use it on Ranma afterwards, we hide it back here, or maybe even somewhere safer."

Dr. Tofu thought on that for a moment when they heard an explosion nearby.

"Whoa, what was that?"

"Don't know, Doc. As far as I know, it's not supposed to make things blow up."

"Looks like we may have another problem. We better check it out."

"Right."

They both ran to where they thought they hear the sound, leading them to the women's bathing room. As they got there, they found no one.

"Hmm, nothing unusual here," said Tofu.

"Nope, nothing unusual at all unless you count that giant hole in the wall over there."

Tofu reset his glasses. "Oh, yeah. You have a point. Let's check it out."

Snag!

Tofu looked to where Nabiki was standing only to not find her there anymore, but instead was flying towards the hot spring area.

"NABIKI!!!!!"

He leapt after her, desperately not wanting to lose her too, when suddenly two small creatures attached themselves to his face, covering his eyes and blinding him. He tried to rip them off, but couldn't. Just as suddenly as they appeared, they leapt off, scant inches from a nearby rock formation. Tofu never had a chance to compensate.

(B-D)

"So how far do you think this goes?" asked Ryoga.

"Don't know. One things for sure, I'm glad there aren't any monsters around."

"Don't jinx it, man. You have no idea how many time's I've had to fight that kind of thing just because somebody says something."

"Sorry, man. I didn't know you were so sensitive."

"You know what they say, 'Once bitten…'"

"'…Twice shy.'"

"Exactl…"

"…nabiki…!"

"Hey Guy, did you hear that?"

Guy slaps his forehead. "Oh man, I keep forgetting that they always capture the one female of the group. We gotta hurry."

Guy and Ryoga sprinted back down the cave they had discovered. They didn't go far because Guy had insisted that they be on the lookout for traps, citing Baldur's Gate or something. They had only gone about a hundred or so feet when they heard the distant cry, so it took them all of twenty seconds to cover the distance in the cave, another five seconds to avoid slipping in the bathing room, and just two seconds to get out to the hot springs, where they found the floating body of Dr. Tofu in the spring. They both instinctively jumped in after him and pulled him out before he drowned, although they could've been too late considering that the good doctor was no longer breathing.

"You got anything in your games for this?"

"Not practically, no, but part of my art does include basic first aid."

"THEN DO IT ALREADY!!!!!"

"I hope this works. This is my first time doing this."

Guy started with pumping his hands on Tofu's chest, only to have Tofu's hand grab his wrist. Tofu followed up with coughing up some water. Guy gave Tofu some space as he seemed to resurrect himself.

"Wow, that was impressive," remarked Guy.

Cough! wheeze Tofu hit himself in the chest a few times to help expel the water from his lungs.

"I do not…wheeze…want to do that again."

"How did you revive yourself?" asked Ryoga.

"I'm a martial arts doctor. I know several techniques on self-revival depending on the situation…cough…but it hurts…wheeze…cough…Just…just give me a moment…"

They gave Tofu a little space and a few minutes to recover. Ryoga took the time to look around and survey the damage. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

"That's strange…"

Ryoga and Tofu glanced at Guy.

"What is it?"

"I don't know much about them, but do frogs normally frequent hot springs?"

"Actually," answered Tofu, "frogs are among the most adaptable amphibians on earth. Despite being cold blooded, they can live anywhere from the topical forests to north of the Arctic Circle, so it's not that uncommon to find them at hot springs."

"Ok…what's that word, ah, ok, Brianiac-san, then do they normally watch humans?"

"Well, no. At least, not normal ones."

"I see. I guess those five frogs sitting side-by-side that have been watching us for the past couple of minutes isn't unusual then, eh?"

They looked across the hot spring area, which was very well lit. There they were, five frogs sitting on a rock, all eyes on them. After making eye contact for a few seconds, one of the frogs seemed to call an order to the others. They responded and brandished knives.

"I've seen that before," said Tofu and Ryoga in unison. They glanced at each other as Guy stood dumbstruck. "The Frog Hermit."

"Frogs? With knives? A frog hermit? What the heck is going on here?"

"He's an old enemy of ours," answered Ryoga.

"Those frogs are very well trained for combat, but they go down with a well placed hit…LOOK OUT!"

Four of the frogs leapt at the three martial artists. Guy barely dodged the one on him while Tofu and Ryoga quickly took out the other three. Tofu caught the last one out of the air and knocked it out before it could attack Guy a third time.

"Dude, that is the most JACKED-UP thing I've ever experienced. Not even furry cons are this freaky!"

"We still have one more to go," said Ryoga as he pointed to the leader frog. It produced a sweat drop, than jumped for its life. "After it!"

"Yeah, it may lead us straight to the boss!"

"That's the first piece of sense you've said all evening."

"What are you two talking about?"

"Never mind," responded Guy as they gave chase. They followed the frog to a small hole in the wall, which was enlarged courtesy of Ryoga, and found themselves in the same cave they had found earlier. After a two-minute chase after a surprisingly fast frog, they finally got to the end of the cave. It was dimly lit save for a few torches around a dome-like room. The three stopped as they saw four silhouettes that the frog had finally stopped at.

"So, I see you've managed to finally track me down," said one of the short shadows.

"Just as I thought. It is the Frog Hermit," exclaimed Ryoga.

"Why are you doing this, Hermit? This isn't like you to attack the helpless and weak."

The Frog Hermit walked into the light, revealing himself to be a four-foot tall green frog. "I find that in my old age, I'd like to be loved and taken care of. Imagine my surprise when I discovered this treasure. They don't care how I look, they'll still love me, until death do us part."

"Either you're seriously into cosplaying or we've somehow managed to land in the world of Chrono Trigger."

"What are you…? Forget it. Will you take care of them, my dears? Kin and I will meet with you further up the cave.

"Sure my love," replied the tall shadow on the right. She walks into the light. "And just for you, I'll finish them for free."

"Nabiki?" shouted Ryoga.

"Not to worry, my beloved," said the other shadow as she too walked into the light, revealing a brown-eyed, brown haired girl. She seemed to be about 16 and wore a blue kimono. "We won't be long."

"Who are you?" asked Guy.

"I am Kaori Daikoku of the Daikoku School of Delivery Martial Arts."

"My goodness," Tofu exclaimed as he recognized the name, "she was one of Ranma's fiancée's that they managed to break off. I remember Akane's ankle was seriously sprained after that take-out race."

"Wow, and here I thought things couldn't get any weirder."

"Watch yourselves, guys," warned Tofu. "We have no idea what either of them are capable of."

"Oh, you'll see, my good doctor," Nabiki grinned evilly as she withdrew a dagger from her side.

"Doctor Tofu," said Ryoga, "let me take Nabiki. I'll try to snap her out of this."

"Fine by me. I'll take Kaori. This'll be a great challenge for me. Doc, you go after that frog thing, seeing as you've apparently fought him before."

"None shall pass," commanded Kaori.

Guy glanced at Ryoga. "Shall we?"

"I don't want to, but let's do this."

With that, the boys jumped the two girls, giving Tofu plenty of time to get by them. Kaori managed to throw a pair of chopsticks at him, clipping him on his ankle, but a quick pressure point quickly got him out of there, only losing a mere two steps. Back at the main double battle, each set of opponents circled each other.

"We don't have to do this, Nabiki."

"Cut the pity speech, pig." Ryoga flinched. "You know better than I do that I'm not going to back down. Even though I know what's going on, I'm willing to forgive and stay with him for the rest of my life."

"Even if it means abandoning your family and friends?" Nabiki flinched. "What would Akane think of you for leaving Ranma in the hands of that pervert, huh? What would Kasumi think?"

"Ryoga?"

"Yes?"

"Now I won't kill you just because Hermie-baby asked me to. I'm going to kill you now because of that very low blow you just hit me with."

Ryoga's face was the very picture of "Ooppss." He had hoped to try to get her thinking rationally, but had only succeeded in making her even angrier. He never was that good at verbal combat, but he didn't want to get anywhere near an inexperienced fighter with a knife. He didn't want her to get hurt. Guy was halfway enjoying his fight with Kaori, much to her ire. After several flurries of attacks, both seemed fairly even.

"Wow, you're pretty good. I'm glad I picked you."

"What, do you think this is a game?"

"Ah, I guess I haven't introduced myself properly, then. I am Guy Bogard Hyabusa of the Old School Fighting Games School of Martial Arts. So to answer your question, yes, this is kinda like a game."

"How can you think so lightly when I'm trying to kill you?"

"Why do you want to kill me for? That's a bit much, don't you think?"

"Not really. I'd go to any lengths to be with my love, even to the point of mortal combat with my beloved's enemies."

"Sheesh, what's with you people? Alright, then," he cracks his knuckles. "If it's mortal combat you want, then Mortal Kombat you'll get. Just remember, you asked for it."

"You don't frighten me at all. You're just another obstacle for me to walk all over."

"We'll see. OLD SCHOOL FIGHTING GAMER'S STYLE CHANGE COMBINATION! MORTAL KOMBAT 1 & 2!"

Kaori arched an eyebrow at some of the poses Guy made, especially the crouch. She suddenly found her legs flying off to her side as Guy preformed Sub-Zero's sliding kick. She quickly got back to her feet, only to find Guy right in front of her, and delivered the nastiest uppercut she had ever received as Guy followed through with his entire body. She flew several feet into the air and landed hard on her back. She blinked a few times to get rid of the flying take-out boxes with wings going around her head. She got up slowly this time, making sure Guy wasn't close enough to do that again. Guy stood ready several feet away, imitating Liu Kang's fighting stance perfectly.

"How dare you actually strike a woman! What kind of man are you?"

"The kind of Guy that knows better then to underestimate women. They make up at least a third of the legendary fighting characters in fighting games history."

"What?"

He sighs. "Never mind, but we shou…mmuph!"

Guy found that he was no longer able to talk, mainly due to the fact that his head was entirely wrapped up in extra long raman noodles somehow produced by Kaori. She laughed at Guy's attempt to claw the suffocating noodles off of his face as she tightened her grip on the chopsticks holding on to her end of the raman.

"I hope you're hungry, cause the only way out of that is to eat your way through, but will you live long enough to get though?" She tugged the raman again to emphasize her point.

Ryoga wasn't having as much luck as Guy, if that was possible. At least Guy could hit his opponent. Ryoga could not, or at least, not Nabiki. She, on the other hand, had no such problem as she swiped again and again, trying her best to cut the Eternal Lost Boy, and showing surprising skill in the process. Of course, having Ranma as a rival tends to increase one's natural speed and dodging ability, thus he had little problem dodging the knife. The main problem, however, was that he was unarmed while she had a knife.

"Please, Nabiki, don't do this."

"Shut up, pervert-pig." Ryoga flinched again and barely dodged that last knife thrust. "I'm going to kill you for all the time you spent sleeping in my sister's bed! I'm going to kill you for taking advantage of my sister's lack of perception! I'm going to kill you for all the times you watched my sister get dressed! And most of all, I'm going to kill you for even thinking that you could EVER be my brother-in-law!!!" With each statement that she made, she began getting faster and better with the knife. Ryoga soon found it hard to continue dodging, but saw no other way but to try to wear her out. Finally a bright idea popped up. All he had to do was think of taunting Ranma, not Nabiki.

"So does that mean you don't want me as a husband?"

Nabiki stopped short.

"Wha…what?"

"Do you want to be my fiancée? That'll mean you'll have to take P-chan from Akane so I'll only sleep with you instead of her."

"What the? I don't want to marry you," Nabiki practically screamed in disgust.

"That's too bad, 'cause Mr. Tendo and I already talked about it before we left. We have his complete and total blessings."

Nabiki had reached the plasma point, and for those not familiar with science this is a temperature generally found below the surface of the sun. Her marry Ryoga? Even without the effects for the fishing pole that was at the least somewhat revolting, but to have already gotten the engagement all but sealed before they left AND behind her back? Nabiki, already having worked herself into a near frenzy, for the first time in years had finally snapped. She lunged at Ryoga aiming straight for his spleen with everything she had. Ryoga thanked God for having something finally go the way he hoped it would as he sidestepped Nabiki. As she nearly flew by, Ryoga delivered a quick chop to the back of her neck, managing to safely render her unconscious. That surely wasn't the way he wanted to bring that topic up, but at least it was out there, and in the process saved both of there lives. Boy, this engagement was having such a promising start. Ryoga dropped his arms in mental exhaustion and he made sure that she was really out of the fight.

Meanwhile Guy had just about run out of options. The noodles were too tight to claw off. They were too tough to eat through; obviously she hadn't had enough time to properly cook them, much to his dismay. He was also out of air as he leaned back a little with his arms dangling at his sides. Kaori watched with glee. Indeed, her beloved would be very happy with this idiot out of the way. Although she had never used this attack to actually kill someone, there wasn't anything she wouldn't do for her Frog King. Guy snapped his fingers, catching her attention, as he moved his pointer finger as if he remembered something. Suddenly he was in the air with a jump kick, but instead of jumping up and into her, he simply seemed to float in jump-kick position for a split-second, then accelerated quickly into her face, knocking her off of her feet with the added bonus of knocking the chopsticks out of her hands (Liu Kang's flying jump kick). Now without the tension, Guy managed to get the noodles off of his face and made a mighty inhale of cool refreshing stale cave air. They both stared each other in the eye as they were both on a knee. Kaori massaged the foot imprint on her face while Guy regained his ragged breathing.

"You weren't kidding about that 'mortal combat' stuff, were you?"

"And you weren't kidding about not underestimating me. If I didn't have to kill you I'd ask my father to arrange a little something with your family."

"Whoa, girl! You're just a little young for me. Besides, that's kinda illegal in most states back at home. I really would like to be friends, though. You're a great challenge."

"As much as I hate to admit it, so are you, but this ends now!"

Kaori charged Guy with a pair of chopsticks in each hand. Knowing better than to challenge that, he waited for his opening. He found it.

"SPARKS!" Guy stood up on one leg and made two foot-long blades with his ki, each starting at the back of his fists and pointed one blade at her and used the other to scrap the flat end of the other towards himself. As he finished the motion, a ball of electricity burst from his blades and hit Kaori between her chest and neck (Baraka's spark toss attack), knocking the wind out of her as she staggered back. "AN OPENING!" he exclaimed as he jumped again and kicked her repeatedly in the chin while suspending himself in the air for several seconds, his feet and legs moving as if he were riding a bicycle backwards (Liu Kang's Bicycle Kick, of course). She somehow remained standing, but severely dazed. "SHADOW KICK!" He performed a basic high sidekick, and then he suddenly propelled himself without moving his feet into Kaori so that his foot connected with her face. He also had three green after-images follow closely after him (Johnny Cage's Shadow Kick). He returned to Johnny Cage's fighting stance as he waited for Kaori to get up. Much to his relief, she didn't. After making sure that she was out of the fight, he turned to see that Ryoga had also finished his "fight."

"Man, you really didn't hold back on her, did you?"

"Like I said, it doesn't matter the gender of my opponent. If they can fight, we treat them with respect and honor…although I had to tweak the difficulty level up a few notches, I'm just glad that I didn't have to use any fatal attacks."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah, out of all my fighting game styles, the Mortal Kombat series style is the only one of two with moves designed to actually kill. Most other fighting games don't go there. This was only the third time I've used it and the first time in real combat. I was lucky tonight."

"Yeah, same here. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she was setting herself up for that…anyway, we better go see how Dr. Tofu's doing."

"No need, gentlemen," announced a voice from the shadows.

"Is that you, doc?" asked Guy.

"Yes, and don't worry, I'm fine," he replied as he entered the light.

"Whew," said Ryoga. "I'm really glad to hear that. Where's the Frog Hermit?"

Guy was suspicious as Tofu had not dragged the body of the giant frog with him, and fell into a ready stance when he noticed a short shadow behind him. This was not lost to Ryoga, who caught on to what Guy was thinking as he also noticed something behind Tofu.

"Doc, are you ok?" Guy asked wearily.

"Of course."

"Then who's that behind you?"

"Oh, that's just the Frog Hermit."

"I knew it, he got you, too!" exclaimed Guy.

"No," he relied as he produced the fishing pole, "in fact, it's quite the opposite. Come on out, Hermit."

The Frog Hermit came out from the shadows and bowed down to the two young fighters.

"Please forgive me for the trouble I've caused. I truly meant no harm. I'll try to make amends, as per my beloved's request."

The boys face-faulted mightily into a pratfall at the realization of what happened. Ryoga was the first to recover.

"Wasn't there another woman that was missing?"

"She's fine. Nabiki told me how to reverse the effect, so I did and she's back in our room resting. I see that you had a much harder time out here, though," said Tofu as he looked over the two fallen angels on the ground.

"Hopefully they'll be out till we can cure them, too," replied Guy, finally recovering himself.

"Don't worry about them, sirs," said the Hermit. "If they come to, I'll tell them to stand down."

"I guess we can go along with that," said Guy as he turned to Ryoga. "So, you want to carry your fiancée or shall I?"

"What?"

"Heh, I'm just kidding, man. I heard your gambit through the noodles. Man, that was a good one."

"Don't remind me," he replied as he went to retrieve his 'fiancée.'

(B-D)

It wasn't long until a happy family and a group of friends were reunited with the missing girls. They left the office after thanking the martial artists and receiving an apology from the now human Frog Hermit. Guy was still getting over that. Tofu had taken care of most of Kaori's injuries when a short, stocky man dressed in rich red and blue clothing came in the main office. He rushed to Kaori's side, thankful to see her again.

"Mister Daikoku, I presume," said Tofu.

"Yes, I am," he replied happily. "Thank you so much for finding my daughter. I can't believe that he would've done this to her."

"Actually, sir, that was my fault."

"And you are," he glared.

"Guy Hyabusa, sir. She was brainwashed and gave me no choice. She was too formidable to knock out quickly and painlessly, so I had to subdue her with force, especially after she declared mortal combat."

"Oh, in that case I owe you my daughter's life. How can I ever repay you? I know! Are you married?"

"No thank you, sir. She had mentioned something like that during our fight, but I cannot. I'm just a wandering martial artist training to improve his skill, and your daughter helped a lot in that process. Thus, in a way you have already repaid me in advance."

"I understand. Thank you again, kind sir, for your help. Now, who was responsible for this?"

"I apologize for the anguish I caused you, Mr. Daikoku."

"If you'll excuse us," said Guy as he and Ryoga slipped out. They returned to Tofu's room to check on Nabiki and the other woman that was with Tofu. They opened the door to find an old woman sitting before a pratfallen Nabiki.

"You mean all this time I thought that Tofu…" Nabiki smacked her forehead.

"And I see that you're as spunky as ever, Ms. Tendo. Your hips are in much better shape than before."

"Whoa," Guy whispered to Ryoga, "I didn't think Tofu was into that."

"No kidding. I thought he liked someone younger."

Nabiki noticed the two boys at the door and motioned for them to enter. They sat down to the side of the two ladies.

"Guy, Ryoga, meet Kin Ono, Dr. Tofu's mother."

Nabiki was no longer the only member of the pratfall club.

(B-D)

The grateful owner had offered two rooms for free to Ryoga and Nabiki, of which they were all too happy to accept. The night went by peacefully and all HP/MP was recovered. They were also offered a ride home by the Onos in the doctor's 4-seater, which they also accepted. Guy said that he would stay with the now tied and decarped Frog Hermit until the authorities arrived. With the loose ends actually all tied up, the crew was finally able to go home, after making a quick detour to drop of Tofu's mom. The Onos were up front while Ryoga and Nabiki were in the back, comfortable with the knowledge that the fishing pole was in Nabiki's backpack in the trunk. After about ten minutes of silence, Ryoga looked to her on his right and finally spoke up.

"You know, Nabiki, you really surprised me last night."

"Oh really?" she replied, genuinely surprised.

"Yeah, I can tell that you were pretty good when you were younger, and you still have some good skill, too. When you were working yourself into the rage you were getting progressively better and faster. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were doing that on purpose, weren't you?"

"I was trying. I knew what you could do, but I just couldn't help myself…I figured that if I got angry enough that I would give you an opening."

"What I don't understand is how you pulled that off, though."

"It was thanks to the doc. When he reminded me that martial arts was in the mind as well as the body, I figured that I could effect my actions at least indirectly. I don't think it would've worked without that little thing about us being engaged." Ryoga winced. "I have to admit, that caught me completely off guard."

"I'm impressed, Nabiki," said Tofu. "I'm glad I was able to help you fight it."

"Yeah, thank you…hey, Ryoga, you ok?"

"Um…I have a confession to make."

"What, you're going to tell me that what you said last night was true?" she said jokingly.

"Um…well…" Nabiki glanced at him with some concern. "Actually, it really was more your father's idea…" Her eyes went wide in surprise. "I honestly thought he was talking about Akane…please don't kill me." He finished pitifully.

Nabiki crossed her arms for a moment in deep thought, frightening Ryoga considerably while the amused Onos glanced at one another.

"Lift up your right arm," she said coldly.

"Huh?"

"You heard me."

"Um, ok…" he lifted is arm above the headrest.

Ryoga never knew what hit him as she gave him a very quick peck on the check, followed up by leaning on him and resting her head on his chest. He arm instinctively fell, landing decently on her side.

"That's for being gentle with me last night." Ryoga fought off a major nosebleed…barely. "And as for that other topic…we'll talk about that after we get home."

"O..o….ok…"

"I'm sure you have a few things to share with your father, I suppose," said Mrs. Ono.

She grinned a mischievous grin. "I didn't say anything about talking to daddy yet."

Ryoga remained spaced out with a very silly grin for the remainder of the trip home.

(B-D)

Wow, that was kinda rough, yet fun, for me. I'm sorry for getting this out so late, heck about a week late, but as usual, work and stuff was getting in the way. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this. I thought I'd try a little mystery episode this time. Not quite to the regular Ranmaverse formula, but Guy seems to have his own set of rules and laws following him around. Now that MORN is done, I can get back to the part of the story that was actually planned out. :) Enjoy and hope to see you again in a couple of weeks.

8-D

© Den Scurman 2004