Disclaimer: Do not own Sailor Moon!!!
Beginnings
She thinks back to the past and she can't remember a time when she hasn't loved him. Her heart aches with unfulfilled emotions for she knows that her dreams will never come true. Ever since she was a little girl her eyes had followed him. In her mind and in her heart there was never anybody as beautiful and strong as him. Even though, he never knew it her thoughts had always belonged to him.
It's funny how you can love someone so much. How your life can be wrapped in somebody else's happiness' so completely. She had loved to see him happy. Her mission in life was to put a smile on his face everyday. And so she acted the klutz. She saved jokes to tell him and she embellished the events of her day dramatically just to see those beautiful blue eyes shinning with mirth.
And when he laughed, oh god when he laughed, her life was complete. When she heard that sound escape his lips all was right with the world; for she had accomplished something marvelous. She had done the impossible. She, clumsy Serena, had made the man that she loved happy.
However, things were not that cut and dry. Yes, he loved to play with her. Yes, there was no doubt in her mind that he enjoyed her company and valued her friendship. But that was all that there was. He saw her as a friend. He saw her as a littler girl and that above all was what hurt the most. She would have his friendship and for that she would be grateful but he would never see her as a woman. He would never see her as the woman he could love.
The woman who would give him everything,
The woman who would do everything in her power to make him happy,
And the woman who would die for him.
So, she settled. Her mind accepted that friendship would be all that she would ever have; better to have that than nothing. Nevertheless, in the recess of her heart, hidden away from everything, was the hope that maybe someday things would change.
The years had passed and the sweet love of a young girl changed. The love that had been innocent and pure turned into something else as she became a woman. Suddenly it became deeper, darker, and more passionate, and it awoke within her the need to be wanted in return.
She bided her time and thought of the way to disclose her feelings. In her mind she thought of ingenious ways to tell him what her heart held. She invented wild scenarios in which he told her that he had felt the same way all along. And, so her heart grew confident and she decided the time for the truth had come.
Oh, heavens how the pain of that day still haunts her and pierces her heart. She had been so sure of her love. She had firmly believed that she loved enough for both of them; that the strength of her desire would be enough to overcome any obstacle.
Then again, she had never been truly honest with herself. All this time she had denied herself the truth that had been in front of her eyes. He was falling in love with someone else.
Hadn't she seen it with her eyes, seen the change that was slowly altering his behavior? His moods were different and his mind seemed to be always far away. The silly things she used to do, to make him laugh, no longer held his interest; slowly but surely she was losing him. Moreover, what pained her most was that it was to another woman; a woman who was more beautiful than sin itself.
She still remembers the first time Darien locked eyes with her. They had been outside the coffee shop they frequented after classes at the local state university. Like always she was being her silly self. That morning she had styled her hair in two ridiculous ponytails in the hopes that her antics would make Darien laugh. When he had seen her after classes the hairstyle had launched a barrage of teasing and insults. They were laughing hysterically when out of the shop walked out a stunning brunette.
Suddenly, the laughter died and Serena had felt unbelievably dowdy compare to the gorgeous woman. She had felt inadequate and childish when she had viewed the other woman's poise and carriage. Her hairstyle became preposterous as she caught sight of Darien's appreciation for the gleaming Mahoney tresses. And when Darien had looked into the dazzling jade eyes of the woman, Serena knew it was over. Darien had given his heart away and the recipient wouldn't be her.
How could she ever think to compete with someone so self-assured and lovely? How could she even begin to compete with someone who oozed confidence and sensuality from every pore in her body?
After that day everything became devastatingly clear to Sere. She would always be Darien's friend but never the woman to stand beside him. All her illusions were abruptly shattered and the hope that had sustained her for so long slowly began to die.
Never, would she feel his lips on her.
Never, would she feel his hands wrapped around her.
Never, would she experience the strength of his desire.
And never, would she hear him whisper her name full of love.
From now on all his loved was reserved for the woman who ensnared his heart one sunny afternoon.
Time passed and like always Serena watched from afar; always longing, always yearning for what could never be. It had almost destroyed her to see him with her. For a moment she had considered leaving the university and moving away. However, what good would her life be if she was deprived of his visage?
Even though, it was from a distance at least she was able to bask in his joy. What is more, she was truly happy for him. Ironically she wished him the best. If she wasn't the one to chase his shadows away, she was truly glad he had found contentment in someone else's arms.
And so she stayed and played the part of his best friend to a hilt. She counted herself fortunate to at least have that place in his life. Therefore, she kept quiet and guarded her feelings covetously. Once again, she settled.
It was daunting to see the love of her life in love with somebody else.
It was agony to see him laugh and smile at someone else's jokes.
It was torture to see him rain kisses on someone else's lips.
And it filled her heart with sorrow to know that he would never belong to her.
The worst part was that she could never hate that new woman in his life. She made her best friend happy and that was all that mattered. Yes, she envied her place in Darien's life but she loved Darien so absolutely that Serena couldn't begrudge her.
Her name was Glory. A fitting name for she was a glorious woman. She had accomplished the impossible in Darien's life. She had made him step out of his shell. Even if it demolished all of Serena's dreams she stepped aside and never whispered what was in her heart.
It appears that this would be the story of her life; always looking in from the outside. She had learned from a young age to hide what she felt. She had learned to conceal her thoughts behind a smile. She had learned that it was better to mask the pain with humor rather, than say what was in her mind and risk losing him altogether.
Like always she settles.
Beginnings
She thinks back to the past and she can't remember a time when she hasn't loved him. Her heart aches with unfulfilled emotions for she knows that her dreams will never come true. Ever since she was a little girl her eyes had followed him. In her mind and in her heart there was never anybody as beautiful and strong as him. Even though, he never knew it her thoughts had always belonged to him.
It's funny how you can love someone so much. How your life can be wrapped in somebody else's happiness' so completely. She had loved to see him happy. Her mission in life was to put a smile on his face everyday. And so she acted the klutz. She saved jokes to tell him and she embellished the events of her day dramatically just to see those beautiful blue eyes shinning with mirth.
And when he laughed, oh god when he laughed, her life was complete. When she heard that sound escape his lips all was right with the world; for she had accomplished something marvelous. She had done the impossible. She, clumsy Serena, had made the man that she loved happy.
However, things were not that cut and dry. Yes, he loved to play with her. Yes, there was no doubt in her mind that he enjoyed her company and valued her friendship. But that was all that there was. He saw her as a friend. He saw her as a littler girl and that above all was what hurt the most. She would have his friendship and for that she would be grateful but he would never see her as a woman. He would never see her as the woman he could love.
The woman who would give him everything,
The woman who would do everything in her power to make him happy,
And the woman who would die for him.
So, she settled. Her mind accepted that friendship would be all that she would ever have; better to have that than nothing. Nevertheless, in the recess of her heart, hidden away from everything, was the hope that maybe someday things would change.
The years had passed and the sweet love of a young girl changed. The love that had been innocent and pure turned into something else as she became a woman. Suddenly it became deeper, darker, and more passionate, and it awoke within her the need to be wanted in return.
She bided her time and thought of the way to disclose her feelings. In her mind she thought of ingenious ways to tell him what her heart held. She invented wild scenarios in which he told her that he had felt the same way all along. And, so her heart grew confident and she decided the time for the truth had come.
Oh, heavens how the pain of that day still haunts her and pierces her heart. She had been so sure of her love. She had firmly believed that she loved enough for both of them; that the strength of her desire would be enough to overcome any obstacle.
Then again, she had never been truly honest with herself. All this time she had denied herself the truth that had been in front of her eyes. He was falling in love with someone else.
Hadn't she seen it with her eyes, seen the change that was slowly altering his behavior? His moods were different and his mind seemed to be always far away. The silly things she used to do, to make him laugh, no longer held his interest; slowly but surely she was losing him. Moreover, what pained her most was that it was to another woman; a woman who was more beautiful than sin itself.
She still remembers the first time Darien locked eyes with her. They had been outside the coffee shop they frequented after classes at the local state university. Like always she was being her silly self. That morning she had styled her hair in two ridiculous ponytails in the hopes that her antics would make Darien laugh. When he had seen her after classes the hairstyle had launched a barrage of teasing and insults. They were laughing hysterically when out of the shop walked out a stunning brunette.
Suddenly, the laughter died and Serena had felt unbelievably dowdy compare to the gorgeous woman. She had felt inadequate and childish when she had viewed the other woman's poise and carriage. Her hairstyle became preposterous as she caught sight of Darien's appreciation for the gleaming Mahoney tresses. And when Darien had looked into the dazzling jade eyes of the woman, Serena knew it was over. Darien had given his heart away and the recipient wouldn't be her.
How could she ever think to compete with someone so self-assured and lovely? How could she even begin to compete with someone who oozed confidence and sensuality from every pore in her body?
After that day everything became devastatingly clear to Sere. She would always be Darien's friend but never the woman to stand beside him. All her illusions were abruptly shattered and the hope that had sustained her for so long slowly began to die.
Never, would she feel his lips on her.
Never, would she feel his hands wrapped around her.
Never, would she experience the strength of his desire.
And never, would she hear him whisper her name full of love.
From now on all his loved was reserved for the woman who ensnared his heart one sunny afternoon.
Time passed and like always Serena watched from afar; always longing, always yearning for what could never be. It had almost destroyed her to see him with her. For a moment she had considered leaving the university and moving away. However, what good would her life be if she was deprived of his visage?
Even though, it was from a distance at least she was able to bask in his joy. What is more, she was truly happy for him. Ironically she wished him the best. If she wasn't the one to chase his shadows away, she was truly glad he had found contentment in someone else's arms.
And so she stayed and played the part of his best friend to a hilt. She counted herself fortunate to at least have that place in his life. Therefore, she kept quiet and guarded her feelings covetously. Once again, she settled.
It was daunting to see the love of her life in love with somebody else.
It was agony to see him laugh and smile at someone else's jokes.
It was torture to see him rain kisses on someone else's lips.
And it filled her heart with sorrow to know that he would never belong to her.
The worst part was that she could never hate that new woman in his life. She made her best friend happy and that was all that mattered. Yes, she envied her place in Darien's life but she loved Darien so absolutely that Serena couldn't begrudge her.
Her name was Glory. A fitting name for she was a glorious woman. She had accomplished the impossible in Darien's life. She had made him step out of his shell. Even if it demolished all of Serena's dreams she stepped aside and never whispered what was in her heart.
It appears that this would be the story of her life; always looking in from the outside. She had learned from a young age to hide what she felt. She had learned to conceal her thoughts behind a smile. She had learned that it was better to mask the pain with humor rather, than say what was in her mind and risk losing him altogether.
Like always she settles.
