Lie to Me

By DJ Clawson

Warning: This is slash. If you don't like, don't read. You were warned.


Chapter 5 - The Job

When Inspector Zenigata finally rolled into the office, it was nearly eleven in the morning. Fortunately this was the Caribbean, so even the biggest and most serious police station was relatively laid back. The desk that had been reserved for him was basically a table in the corner where he had dropped all of the files he traveled with. He sat down at it, pulling up the folding chair, but his mind was elsewhere.

Not that he should have expected differently. All his files – well, almost all of his files – were on the man he had spent the night with. What the hell had he gotten himself into? Why wasn't the sensible side of him putting a stop to it? Probably because he was happier than he had been a long time, even with all of these crazy feelings running through his head. The whole situation was the very definition of "conflict of interest." Hadn't he taking an oath to pursue criminals until the ends of the earth – or something that effect? Sure, it had been a while, but he was still a cop, damnit! An incredibly conflicted cop, but a cop nonetheless. He was going to catch Lupin, and that little monster was going to be off the streets and in jail. So what if he gave exceptionally good he –

"Inspector." It was Officer Vasquez, the local cop. She definitely had no idea what train of thought she had derailed. It was probably for the best. "Have you located Lupin?"

Have I ever. "He hasn't made a move yet. He may just be here to lay low. Has he ever committed a crime in Jamaica?"

"No, but we only have three days until the cruise, and the attorney-general has already yelled at me about it. As if he's stolen it already."

"...Right." But he had no idea what she was talking about. "Can I see the information on the ... cruise, again?"

"I left it under your folder," she explained. Sure enough, there it was – the Crystal Princess, the only cruise with its own diamond exhibit. "It should be pulling into the docks around noon on Monday. I assume you'll want extra security –"

"Of course. Right." He was trying to think. Lupin hadn't said anything about Monday, but it wasn't like they compared their date books. But he thought Lupin was on vacation. He thought they had some kind of understanding. Sure, he liked the guy but – he was still a cop! "How long will it be here for?"

"Twenty-four hours. Since non-guests aren't allowed on the ship, I'm more worried about the staff. If he's going to slip in – "

He wasn't mad. He kept telling himself he wasn't. He should have seen this coming. The man was a thief. He stole things for a living. This was the definition of what he did. It was probably his whole reason for being – after all, if it was just about wealth, the rich little monkey would have stopped years ago. What the hell was Zenigata thinking, that Lupin would stop just for him? Still, it would have been nice. "Has he left a note?"

"No."

"He'll leave one then. Before the twenty-four hour point." He put on his hat. "I have to go."

"Inspector?"

"I have some leads to follow up on." He took the brochure with him. "I'll call later if I find something. Or if Lupin's still alive.

He should go somewhere to calm down. It was the middle of the day, but this was Jamaica, so it wasn't all that difficult to get a drink. He pulled up at a dive bar and ordered scotch.

In college and his early days on the force he had dreamed traveling the word on all kinds of exotic cases, drinking fine liquor and eating unique food. Anything to escape urban Tokyo. Now here he was, middle-aged and sitting in a dump in a crappy little country, all alone after having fouled up the case he had devoted his life to. He couldn't keep chasing Lupin, not if he was going to seeing on the sly. And did he really think he wasn't going to get caught? Why couldn't he just walk away from this? Why did being with Lupin make him so happy? Obnoxious little fucker. Maybe it was all some horrible scheme. Maybe Lupin was laughing at him right now.

But Lupin probably wasn't. If he had dumped Fujiko – and he loved her, definitely – then he was serious about this. Apparently not as serious as he was about his career, but still, pretty serious. And besides, when was the last time Zenigata had someone told him he loved him? Even jokingly? He was so pathetic.

Only Lupin. It had to be Lupin, not someone more convenient – say, anyone in the entire world other than Lupin the Third. He had to fall for a thief – the thief. He had done something horrible in a previous life, and this was his karma.

It was never going to work. He had said it over and over in his head, he had said it straight to Lupin's face, and he still didn't believe it. He didn't want it to happen. It was why he was tearing himself up inside instead of confronting and arresting Lupin, as he should have been. The guy was going to rob the cruise, he was sure of it. What was Zenigata supposed to do – just turn a blind eye? That wasn't how it was going to be. He wasn't going to let it be like that. He was a cop, G-ddamnit – he was Interpol. He was going to get his man. Besides, he knew where he was staying.

Lupin wasn't in his room precisely – he was smoking on the balcony. He had had the decency to get a room that wasn't connected to his partners' rooms. "Don't you ever do any work?" he said with a smile.

"Shut up." He shoved the flier in Lupin's arms.

"Oh man," Lupin said, rubbing his forehead. "I'm having the worst luck this week."

"So you were planning a job!"

"Look, Zenigata –"

"Don't Zenigata me!" he shouted. "I should arrest you right now!"

"You can't arrest me for intention to rob," he said, and it was true. "As I was going to say before you interrupted it, it might not be a good idea for us to 'bring out work home with us' if you want to put it that way. I mean, you want me to ask how things are going over at Interpol? They get any new information on me?"

"You know I can't do that. And even if I could, I wouldn't." He sighed, and collapsed in the chair next to Lupin. "What are we doing?"

"We keep asking that, but neither of us know the answer." Lupin looked out at the ocean. "I'd say it's just not going to work, but I really want it to work."

"I'm not going to just sit back and let you commit crimes, Lupin."

"I know," he replied sadly. "I know. But I'm not ready to retire yet."

So he had been thinking about it. Lupin had actually been thinking about it. For him. Still, that didn't make it all better. "If you steal that diamond, you're going to jail. And I'm going to drag you there myself. That's the way it has to be."

"All right," he said, putting his head in his hands. "All right, I have to think about it."

"I don't want to do this, but I can't help it. I'm a cop." He stood up. His handcuffs were hanging from his belt. He patted Lupin on the shoulder as he turned to leave.

Lupin didn't turn to watch him go. "I love you."

"I know."

"I don't want it to end like this."

"Neither do I." But that didn't change a thing. He left Lupin to his brooding.


"So."

Lupin didn't respond to Jigen's demand for an answer – at least, not immediately. He played with his shot glass instead, watching the rum swirl around at the bottom.

"Lupin," Jigen said, more insistent now.

"I'll think of something."

"Yeah, that's great, but we're not here in Jamaica so you can improve your love life. We have a job to do."

"I told him this would happen," Fujiko said. "I called it."

"Not that you figured a way to get me out of it," Lupin said with despair. "What about you, Goemon? How about one of those wise sayings about how I'm an idiot and I've fouled everything up?"

"I think your own words may be sufficient."

Lupin moaned.

"Look, Lupin, if you're gonna moan about the sorry state of your love life, that's all fine and good, but we're talking about a very complicated heist here. That we should be getting ready for. Because we are still doing this heist, right?" Lupin leaned over. "Right?"

"...Right," he said without enthusiasm.

"You're the go-man – we can't do it without you. You know that."

"I know. Look, guys, I'll be fine," he insisted, getting up from the table.

"I knew it," Fujiko said, apparently to his partners. "It couldn't work – he can't date the cop on his case."

He stopped in his tracks.

"Yeah, even for Lupin, it's pretty crazy," Jigen said. "Sorry, buddy."

He turned around. "Fujiko – I need a favor."

"I will not help you write an apology letter, so forget it."

But he was serious. He passed by Jigen and Goemon and whispered in Fujiko's ear. She turned her head to him in surprise. "That's a pretty big favor."

"There's my share of the heist in it for you," he said. "Fujicakes."

She bit her lip. And Fujiko so rarely looked like she was seriously considering something. "And your eternal gratitude?"

"Of course."

She hesitated before answering. It was perhaps the longest moment of his life. "I'll do it. But you're really going to owe me for this one."

He put his hands on her shoulders. "Anything for you. Except, you know, the obvious. Because if this works, I'm going to be a one man-man now."

"And if it doesn't, you'll be high and dry."

"Don't remind me."

Jigen turned to Goemon. "I don't even know what this is about, and I'm already worried."