Lie to Me

By DJ Clawson

Note: This is not the last chapter. The next one is.

Warning: This is slash. If you don't like, don't read. You were warned.


Chapter 6 – The Plan

In the distance, flocks of tourists swarmed the massive wooden docks. The cruise ship had docked for the night and its passengers were enjoying the Jamaican nightlife. They were allowed off easily enough, but returning was more difficult. Security guards and police officers stood at the ramp, ready to check every passport and face.

Up on the massive ship itself, Zenigata stood on the bow, towering over the water. He had already seen the diamond exhibit, which seemed secured. He leaned on the railing, his eyes watching the flow of people up and down the ramp. It was still too hot to wear his trench coat, but cool enough for his brown suit. He was still a cop, and Damnit, he was going to dress like one. He had a job to do, even if it was breaking his heart.

Lupin was going to show. He knew Lupin was going to show. He had been on this chase long enough to feel like he could sense the thief's presence, but no one was sending up a warning flare on his officer radar. But Lupin was still going to show, and make him feel miserable for the stupid, stupid things he never should have done.

"Inspector," said officer Vasquez respectfully as she came up next to him. She was probably trying to get his attention, which was fairly hard to do.

"Officer." He gave a polite nod. "I haven't seen Lupin yet, but he'll definitely show."

"We're relying on your expertise to catch this man," she said.

He sighed.

"Something bothering you, Inspector?"

Zenigata turned to her. "Why are you so eager to catch Lupin?"

"Sir?"

"I just – usually don't get such enthusiastic partners."

"If you must know, these cruise lines are important to our island's economy. If ships refuse to dock here because of security, it could cause a lot of damage." She paused, "What about you? Why are you chasing Lupin?"

He put his head down, staring at the water. It was an inky black in the night. "I don't think I even know anymore." He stood up. "I'm gonna take another walk around the deck."

She didn't follow. He took a long walk around the edge of the ship. It took a good deal of time to get from the stern to the bow. It was devoid of people when Zenigata sat down on the bench at the very tip of the ship. Behind him was the steering and navigation cabin, and up on its roof was a lonely figure.

"Come down from there." But his voice lacked any serious determination. "And I'll arrest you."

"Not in this lifetime, Tottsan," was the reply. "Besides, I told you – I'm on vacation."

"Oh?" He looked back over his shoulder at him. "So what are you doing on the roof?"

"Maybe I just like the view." He kicked his feet up. "Say, Zenigata, have you ever heard of a lookie-loo?"

"A what?"

"Old robbery technique. The guards are distracted by some famous person and the thief nabs the target. It's brilliant in its simplicity." He got up. "Well, I'll see you around."

"Wait! Lupin – " But he was interrupted by the ringing of an alarm. Officer Vasquez and her security team were running up and down the deck.

"Inspector Zenigata!" she shouted over the din. "The diamond has been stolen!"

He looked up at the roof. Lupin was long gone. "Did he leave a note?"

She held it up. "She left a note." He plucked it out of her hands. It was from Fujiko Mine, thanking the security guards for allowing her to steal the diamond. "We were off-target."

"But still in deep shit," he said, hiding all of his relief but none of this surprise.


"Sir, you have my personal apologies – "

"I don't care about your apologies," barked the general. They were in cramped off, Zenigata and Vasquez in the chairs facing his desk, as he grilled them on their obvious failures. "Do you know what this is going to cost the Republic of Jamaica? Cruise lines will probably start charging us theft insurance! Do you think we're just made of money down here, because this is a resort island?"

"No, sir," he said meekly. He had been through enough talks like this to know when to roll with the punches.

"And let me get this straight – you weren't even looking for this, this," he checked his papers, "Fujiko Mine." He of course pronounced it 'Mine' instead of 'Meenay.'"You knew where she was and you didn't pursue her!"

"Sir, usually – "

"There is no excuse for this sheer laziness. Isn't she a wanted criminal? Isn't there half a million on her head in half the world?"

"Yes, sir. But – "

"But nothing!" He slammed his fists on the desk. "I got a call just this morning from the president himself, demanding that you put all of your energies in the Mine case."

"Meenay," he corrected quietly.

"I don't care! I've even taken the liberty of forwarding a letter to Interpol at the president's request. So we'll see what your superiors have to say about your performance." He turned to Vasquez, "You make sure that Mine is really gone before returning to your normal duties, you understand?"

And they both understood, perfectly.


The fax came in from Interpol in the late afternoon, as soon as his superiors in Japan got in for the morning. He'd been dismissed from the Lupin case before, but each time it was like someone had hurled a cannonball into his stomach, like he was some kind of circus performer. Maybe that's what they saw him as – some kind of entertaining monkey, like Lupin – if they were going to keep jerking him around like this.

Zenigata-Keibu-

You are hereby immediately transferred, as of noon JST –

He didn't need to read any more. Fujiko was already checked out of her hotel, and knowing her, she was on another continent by now, almost twenty-four hours since the robbery. She wouldn't pawn the diamond – she was a collector, so it wouldn't be on any black markets anytime soon. Lupin would have pawned it, or given it to her in some kind of strange gesture of love, but this wasn't Lupin they were talking about.

He slumped further into the chair of his hotel room. It was really over, at least until he could convince the commissioner of otherwise. He couldn't imagine who they would put on the Lupin case now. Maybe it would be some fresh-faced new guy who would catch Lupin with a hand tied behind his back and put Zenigata's long record to shame. But then again, probably not.

"Don't look so sad. You're not the one who had to give up a diamond."

Zenigata looked up. Lupin was sitting on the railing of the balcony, perched there like a tropical bird. "What are you talking about? You got the diamond."

"Fujiko got the diamond, in case you missed it. And honestly, I expect more from you than that." He was his usual clever self, but this time it just made Zenigata weary. Lupin hopped off the rail and picked up the fax paper crumpled on the desk, stretching it out a bit so he could read it. "Hey, they offer you a bonus at the end of this."

"They always do that. I always turn it down." He poured himself another drink. Fuck it, he took a swig right from the bottle. "I'm not going down that easy."

Lupin snapped his fingers. "Rats. And I had my heart set on -"

"Hey!"

"Calm down. You sound like you've been fired."

"I have been fired!" he cried. "The Lupin case is my life!"

"Well, do you want the Lupin case, or do you want me? Because while I hate to do this to you, it's gotta be one or the other. I tried at least to give you another option."

"You little –- ... Wait." He did some calculations. "You gave the heist to Fujiko?"

"And impersonated a Jamaican president. How's my accent, mon? Pretty good, no?"

"So does this mean you're retired now, or what?"

"Whether I am or I'm not is really none of your business," Lupin said, holding up the sheet in triumph. "I mean, you could arrest me for kicks, but that's not what they're paying you the big bucks for. And I don't like to see my tax dollars wasted."

"You pay taxes?"

"All right, my metaphorical tax dollars." Lupin rubbed his head. "Look, the point is, we both know you can't stay on my case if we stay together. It's too weird."

Zenigata nodded. "And a major conflict of interest."

"And we both want to stay together. Right?" Lupin moved up closer to him. So close, he could ... "So what do you say, Pops?"

"Don't call me that."

"Okay." Lupin let out a sigh. "Other than that, what do you say?"

Like he really had a choice. Well, he supposed he could go to his superiors and demand to be transferred back to the Lupin case, but wouldn't that just put them in the same catch-22? "What about Fujiko?"

"What about Fujiko? I dumped her and I think she's over it."

Lupin was practically on top of him. He couldn't take this. "You realize I'm going to try to put her in jail."

"I think she'll manage. She's learned from the best," Lupin said confidently. "Just don't fall in love with her. Because you're all mine."

Lupin really wasn't going to give up being a thief. It would be naïve to think otherwise. He would probably pull the same stupid stunts, and continue building whatever massive horde he was hiding somewhere. It meant things between them were still massively complicated, but when Lupin kissed him, it didn't really matter. Lupin would come up with a brilliant plan and it would all work out.

He was sure of it.