All Grown Up: Keeping It In
Part 3
Susie had noticed how anxious Dil was to get home. She was worried, so she decided to bring it up with Angelica when they went to the Java Lava after school.
"Why was he being stared down by the entire basketball team?" demanded Susie. "I mean they're obviously a bunch of jerks, but they've never bothered Dil before."
"How should I know?" Angelica shrugged dismissively.
"You were there," countered Susie.
"I didn't hear a word they said."
"You didn't tell any of them about Dil's medication, did you?"
"Ok, maybe I mentioned it," Angelica relented. "Hey – don't look at me like that. Everyone saw what happened to Dil in the cafeteria – they were asking me what was wrong with him. I couldn't lie!"
"You couldn't lie?" Susie asked incredulously. "When has that ever bothered you? Angelica, I hope you're not selling your cousin's psychological problems to Sean to make yourself seem interesting."
"Oh, like you're Miss Perfect," retorted Angelica.
"Listen," sighed Susie, "will you do me a favour? Don't tell anyone outside the circle about Dil's personal problems – or any of our personal problems, come to that."
"But what if they ask?"
"Tell them it's none of their Goddamn business like the rest of us do! C'mon, Angelica – promise me!"
"Ok, ok, I promise," Angelica relented. "But if Sean goes off me as a result then you're responsible."
"How will I live with myself?" Susie muttered dryly.
x x x
The next morning Tommy went downstairs to find Dil in the kitchen, his back to the doorway as he stared thoughtfully at an open cupboard full of tins.
"What up, D?" Tommy asked guardedly.
"There's something weird going on," replied Dil, not turning round. "All of the tins are upside-down except for the noodle soup. You're not playing another one of your pranks on me, are you?"
"Dil, even if I wanted to prank you, I wouldn't do it at a time like this."
"A time like what? I'm better."
"Well… good."
"Noodle soup…" mused Dil. "What could it mean? Hey! Maybe I'm supposed to feed it to the… uh…" he tailed off, suddenly remembering his vow not to tell anyone about the baby.
"Or maybe Mom just put away all the tins upside-down except that one," Tommy suggested helpfully.
"T, you know as well as I do that this wouldn't be the first time aliens have left me signs," Dil returned soberly. "If there's noodle soup in the cafeteria today then I'm eating it."
"Way to go," Tommy said sarcastically.
x x x
Dil ate heartily at school that day, and for days afterwards. He could feel his baby growing inside him, clinging increasingly tightly to the wall of his stomach. He hoped that both he and the alien were getting enough nourishment. He didn't really doubt that the baby was healthy; it seemed to grow every day, and no matter how much Dil ate it didn't seem to satisfy his hunger.
"Dil?"
Dil looked up enquiringly from his noodle soup, smiling expectantly at his mother, who had said his name. It was Saturday morning. The family was sitting down to breakfast and the two dogs – Spike and his son Spiffy – were sniffing around the floor and quickly disposing of any crumbs that happened to fall their way.
"Just how much of that noodle soup have you eaten?" asked Didi, sounding surprised rather than angry. "I only bought it yesterday!"
"Yeah, well… I've just kinda had a craving," Dil laughed awkwardly.
"You have been eating an awful lot lately," Stu cut in. "And I think you're putting on weight."
"So?" snapped Dil. "It's my body. I can put whatever I want in it."
"Not when it's my money that's paying for it you can't," retorted Stu. "What's the matter with you anyway? Do you have an eating disorder or something?"
"No," Dil mumbled awkwardly, dreading the possibilities of where this interrogation might lead.
"Honey, are you sick again?" Didi asked kindly.
"I'm fine," shrugged Dil.
"You look pale too," remarked Didi. "Maybe we should take you to the doctor."
"What kind of doctor?" Dil demanded sharply.
"The doctor," Didi replied calmly. "The one you normally go to when you're sick. And she's just going to look at you, ok? I'll see if I can make an appointment for this afternoon."
"Ah man…" grumbled Dil, as Didi picked up the phone and started to dial.
x x x
Didi did manage to schedule an appointment with the family GP for Dil that afternoon. Dil was still reluctant to go, but he knew he didn't have much choice so he didn't make a fuss. Just before Dil and Didi were about to leave, Tommy found his brother in his bedroom pulling on a tie-dyed red-and-yellow sweater.
"Are you really ok, Dil?" the older brother asked anxiously.
"Guess we're about to find out," shrugged Dil.
"I'm worried about you," Tommy persisted. "Ever since the whole thing with the psychiatrist and the pills it seems like you haven't been talking to me as much as you used to. You can still trust me, you know. Didn't I support you through that whole alien pregnancy thing?"
"Yeah," Dil admitted. "But you still thought I was crazy."
"So what if I did?" demanded Tommy. "That's just who you are. You've always been a little eccentric – it's never stopped me caring before."
"Sweet," remarked Dil.
"Is there something you're not telling me?"
Dil thought for a moment, and then nodded slowly. "Yes. If you want me to I'll tell you about it when I get home, but you have to promise me you'll keep it a secret from everyone, especially Mom and Dad."
"Of course I will," Tommy said at once.
"Solid," Dil approved. "Shouldn't be long, you dig?"
"Sure. See ya later."
"Word."
x x x
The oversized lolly stick pressing down on Dil's tongue was a little too close to his throat, and it was making him feel sick. He thought that he probably wouldn't throw up, but the possibility still worried him.
"Fine," remarked Dr. Williams, withdrawing the instrument and picking up the device she used to examine ears.
"Do you want me to take my clothes off?" Dil offered generously, as he felt the warmth from the doctor's torch on his left ear.
"Not today, thank you," Dr. Williams smiled weakly. She was never quite sure how to handle this particular patient.
"Why not?" demanded Dil. "You said you were gonna give me a full examination. I'm not embarrassed if you're not."
"Really," Dr. Williams insisted, moving around to the right ear and stooping to peer into it. "It won't be necessary."
"So am I ok?" Dil asked anxiously. May eighteenth was three days away, and he was getting extremely apprehensive about the birth of his baby.
"Physically you're fine," Dr. Williams replied, taking a seat opposite Dil. "But your mother is right to be concerned about your symptoms."
"What symptoms?" Dil wanted to know, replacing his purple-and-green-striped hat and pulling it down over his ears. "You mean the over-eating?"
"Yes," Dr. Williams said cautiously; "and she also mentioned that you've been a little subdued lately."
"Subdued?" Dil pulled a face. "What does she mean by that?"
"Well apparently you haven't been talking much lately, and you've been avoiding questions, and you've seemed distracted. I wonder, Dil: have you been under any stress lately?"
"No more than usual," shrugged Dil. He was lying, of course: he was finding the pregnancy very stressful. But if he wasn't going to tell his own parents about it then he certainly wasn't going to tell a doctor.
x x x
"Well?" demanded Tommy. He had been lying on his bed with his laptop balanced on his stomach, watching some scenes from the movie he was currently shooting; but he closed the lid of the computer and sat bolt upright when his brother wandered into the room.
"Dr. Williams thinks it's stress," reported Dil.
"And what is it really?" asked Tommy.
"You won't believe me," Dil lamented, sitting down on the bed beside Tommy.
"It doesn't matter what I believe. I just wanna know why you've been so spaced."
Dil took a deep breath and finally admitted, "I'm still pregnant, T. One of the babies survived."
"Oh." Tommy blinked at him. "Aren't you happy?"
"Yeah, I'm psyched!" Dil grinned ecstatically. "So far I think the aliens have told me that the baby's coming on Tuesday and until then I have to eat noodle soup to keep it healthy. And one of them came to me in the hospital disguised as a nurse and did an ultrasound scan on me. It's so beautiful, Tommy," he smiled proudly, suddenly adopting a dreamy expression.
"Uh… that's great," Tommy replied uncertainly.
"But I need more information!" Dil exclaimed. "Like how do I get through the birth? And what do I do with it after the birth! I'm scared, Tommy. What if I can't look after it? And now I don't even feel like I can talk about it to anyone. Ever since Mom took me to that doctor I've realised it's not always a good idea to wear your heart on your sleeve. Hey – that'd be so cool!" he exclaimed, his eyes shining suddenly as he started to imagine how it would look literally to wear his heart on his sleeve.
"Ah D," Tommy smiled sympathetically, putting an arm around his little brother's shoulders. "Mom said she was sorry about that."
"She'd still think I was crazy if I told her, though," Dil pointed out. "And that's not what she wants me to be."
"I actually think Mom went a little crazy back there," remarked Tommy. "You have to be what you wanna be – you know that better than anyone – and that's what Mom wants you to be too."
"She worries about how weird I am."
"Yeah… But it's not like you to keep stuff bottled up inside of you like this. And you know you can trust me even if you don't wanna talk to anyone else. Promise me you'll always tell me if there's something on your mind."
"Ok," agreed Dil, smiling again. "I promise."
"Solid," Tommy smiled back. "So apart from psyched and scared, how do you feel?"
"Kinda weird," Dil confessed. "This pregnancy is taking a lot out of me. And look how fat my feet are!"
"Is there anything you need?" asked Tommy. "Noodle soup?"
Dil pulled a face. "Man, I am so sick of noodle soup. I could use a soda, though."
"You got it, D."
When Tommy went downstairs, he found Didi earnestly reading a chapter in a well-worn hardback volume called Beyond Lipschitz.
"Mom," ventured Tommy. "What are you doing?"
"Huh? Oh – hi sweetie," Didi responded, not looking up from her book. "The doctor said that Dil might be suffering from stress. I wondered if this book had any ideas."
"Why should it?" asked Tommy. "It's a book. It doesn't know how Dil feels."
"You're right," sighed Didi, surprising her son when she snapped the book shut. "I just don't know what to do. If he doesn't tell me what's wrong how can I fix it?"
"Nothing's wrong with Dil," Tommy smiled reassuringly at her. "He is still upset about all that stuff with the pills and the psychiatrist and everything, but he'll get over it. And in the meantime, what he needs right now is a soda."
"Did he tell you that?" asked Didi.
"Yep," Tommy affirmed.
"He seems to tell you everything. Do you think he'd mind if I took it to him?"
"I think he'd like that, Mom."
x x x
Dil was performing handstands in the middle of Tommy's bedroom floor when Didi arrived with the soda.
"Hey Mom," he smiled, not bothering to invert his posture. "What up?"
"I brought you your soda," replied Didi.
"Solid," Dil approved, collapsing into a sitting position in order to accept the proffered can of cola. "Thanks, Mom."
"Honey," Didi ventured cautiously. "I really am sorry about making you see that psychiatrist, you know."
"I know," Dil smiled blithely.
"Have… you forgiven me?"
"Totally."
"Only… well, you seem to have stopped telling me things since it happened."
"What did T tell you?" Dil suddenly demanded.
"Nothing," Didi said defensively. "But if you did want to tell me something I'd listen. I'll never take you to another psychiatrist again – I promise!"
"I just don't understand why you did it, Mom," Dil confessed. "I thought it didn't matter to you that I see the world differently, and that you'd love me no matter what."
"I do love you no matter what!" exclaimed Didi, horrified that Dil should think otherwise. "I was just worried you might hurt yourself."
"I would never do that," scoffed Dil. "Do you think I'm stupid or something?"
"Um… no."
"Look, Mom: I think the world is triangular, and I know that we're getting closer to our alien brethren every day, and not a whole lot people think I'm right. But one thing we all can agree on is that self-mutilation is way cheese."
"Ok, good," Didi smiled, actually feeling very reassured. "So… are you ok?"
"Bitchin'."
"Good."
Didi crouched down and hugged her son tightly, and was grateful to feel him return the embrace. Then she stood up and backed out of the room; when she turned round she met Tommy on the landing.
"Tommy," she murmured. "I think there's something he's not telling me. Do you think he didn't believe me when I said I wouldn't take him back to the psychiatrist?"
"Um…" Tommy didn't know at first what to say. "I think he just doesn't wanna worry you, Mom. And maybe he just needs a little space. You are kinda…"
"What?" demanded Didi.
"Well… you're kinda in-your-face. Or, more specifically, Dil's face. Just maybe take a step back and let him deal, ok?"
"Um… ok."
"You da man, Mom," smiled Tommy, making his way back to his room and to Dil.
x x x
Dil was a bag of nerves throughout Monday. The baby clinging to his stomach lining felt huge to him. At recess Phil found him in a toilet cubicle (he had carelessly left the door open) testing the size of his throat.
"Trying to make yourself barf?" Phil enquired politely.
"No," replied Dil, sounding slightly sick as he withdrew his fingers from his mouth and clutched his hand to his neck. "That's the last thing I want."
He kept reminding himself that he should be grateful for the fact that there was only one baby inside him. He felt guilty for thinking it, as the untimely death of his other eleven-odd children still hurt, but he couldn't even imagine how it must feel to excrete a dozen things this size from his throat. He vaguely wondered if this baby and the others might have been smaller if they'd had to share the available resources.
Is it easier, wondered Dil, to puke up one large alien or twelve small ones?
He made a note of the question in his alien log that evening. It was a small notebook filled with all of his previous alien encounters, from the first time he thought he saw a UFO to the false alarm with Tommy's sleep-stealing incident; to the time he'd been invited on board an alien vessel and then taken back in time one hour for an important appointment; the first inkling that he might be playing host to a litter of alien embryos right up to the latest stage of pregnancy.
All signs indicate that the baby will be born tomorrow. I don't know what time, or where. I hope it isn't in the middle of class! Here's hoping the baby's native race will give me a few more clues before the little guy arrives. I don't have a clue what the baby will need once it's out of me. When it's in my body I can protect it, and I'm being totally careful not to let it get hurt after what happened to its brothers and sisters (hindsight is twenty-twenty, y'know?), but it scares me to think of what could happen to it after I've given birth. But I guess all first-time mothers feel that way.
Dil sat back against his pillows and re-read the entry. He realised that he was going to have to start hiding that thing if he didn't want to be sent to any more doctors.
x x x
On Tuesday morning Dil's alarm clock woke him up at six thirty as usual, but his watch didn't seem to agree about the time. It just kept flashing 15.00 very insistently. Dil hit it a couple of times before abandoning the attempt when he realised just how much he needed to go to the bathroom. When he had relieved the pressure and woken up a bit, it occurred to him that his wristwatch might well be trying to tell him something.
Dil wandered over to the window, pulled it open and asked the brightening sky, "Three pm? Is that all I get?"
No further signs came to him, so Dil tried to forget his nervousness and went down to breakfast.
x x x
"Are you ok?" Kimi asked Dil at recess. "You seem kinda spaced."
"I'm fine," replied Dil.
He was sitting alone on one of the picnic benches, quietly panicking about the impending birth of his baby. Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, Lil and Susie were all nearby; Kimi had been with them before she noticed that Dil didn't look his usual cheerful self. She now got the distinct impression that he would like to be left alone, but she didn't want to leave him looking so glum.
Her dilemma was solved when Tommy came over. Kimi offered a small smile, said, "Ok then," and returned to her friends.
"They've been bombarding me with questions about you, D," reported Tommy, sitting down next to his brother. "You look really bummed. Isn't it today that the – uh – baby's coming?"
"I think so," Dil confirmed. "At three pm."
"That doesn't give you much time to get away from school."
"I'm already feeling a little queasy, T. I might have to leave before three. Do you the think the school nurse has any experience with childbirth?"
"Uh… doubt it. And I'm almost sure she's never delivered an alien baby."
"I'm scared, Tommy," Dil confided, in a small voice.
"Don't be scared," Tommy smiled consolingly, not quite believing that he was saying these things. "Imagine how happy you'll be when you're holding that little baby alien in your arms. You're gonna be a mom, D!" Am I the best brother in the world or am I just crazy?
"Yeah." At last Dil managed a small smile. "And I guess if the aliens thought I needed to know anything else they'd have told me, right?"
"Sure," Tommy agreed. "It probably just needs what any child needs: food, warmth and a lot of love and attention."
"And plenty of saltwater."
"Um… if you say so."
x x x
The fourth grade was in the middle of a spelling test at half past two, when the sickness Dil was feeling became almost unbearable. He was about to raise his hand and ask to be excused when his teacher noticed that he was grimacing and clutching his stomach. She gave him a hall pass and told him to go to the nurse's office. Once out of the classroom, Dil immediately went to the restroom and coughed a fair amount of blood and mucus into one of the toilets.
Suddenly he heard a familiar voice inside his head: "Dil."
"It's you!" Dil exclaimed, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Where are you? The baby's coming!"
"Are you ok?" asked the voice.
"I feel like I'm gonna die."
"Yeah, that'll happen during labour."
"You might have warned me before you got me pregnant," complained Dil.
"And our child?"
"I think it's ok. Where are you?"
"I'm on the Mother Ship," the voice replied. "I don't think I can get to you in time, though. Where do human women give birth?"
"In this culture, usually the hospital," replied Dil. "That's where I was born. It's also where I went after I… uh… lost the other babies."
"And did Liana find you there?"
"Yeah. Was I right? Did you send her?"
"Of course. Go back to this 'hospital' and she'll be there to help you."
Dil cleaned himself up with a scrap of toilet paper, flushed everything away and then stumbled out of the cubicle. Sean was out there, staring at him as though he was regurgitating a baby alien at that very moment.
"Who were you talking to?" demanded Sean.
"Myself," returned Dil. "I have to go."
He barged past Sean, clutching his stomach as it was still killing him, and he almost collapsed out into the corridor. He was vaguely aware of a small crowd nearby as he sank to his knees, clutching at the wall for some kind of support.
"Is it supposed to be like this?" he croaked, but no answering voice came to him.
Dil could hear voices: Sean's, Savannah's, and several others he didn't recognise. Did that mean Angelica was somewhere nearby? It occurred to Dil that school must be over; it must be three o'clock. He felt like he was about to pass out, but then suddenly he felt hands on his chin and his face was lifted. He blinked a few times, a blurred image of his cousin forming in front of his eyes.
"Dil!" Angelica exclaimed urgently. "What's wrong with you?"
"Hospital…" Dil rasped pathetically.
"Hospital?" Angelica shrieked in panic.
"Dude, he's snapped," remarked Sean.
"Eww!" exclaimed Savannah, as Dil suddenly vomited violently onto Angelica's fifty-dollar designer platform shoes.
"Don't just stand there!" Angelica yelled desperately. "He needs HELP! Sean, here's my cell phone – call an ambulance!"
"Me?" Sean asked, in tones of alarm and panic.
"Oh for Christ's sake!" snapped Angelica, shoving the phone forcibly into his hands. "You dial nine… one… one," she recited slowly. "Ask for an am-bu-lance and give them our lo-ca-tion. Got it?"
Utterly overwhelmed by the whole situation, Sean robotically did as he was told. Angelica returned her attention to her young cousin, who was clutching at his stomach and breathing heavily.
"Honestly, twerp," she murmured. "How many times am I gonna have to get you to a hospital, huh? Susie!" she exclaimed, suddenly catching sight of her friend's approach. "Thank God you're here. Dil's really sick."
"I can see that!" exclaimed Susie, visibly alarmed.
"Sean's called an ambulance. Can you go find Tommy? I'll stay with him."
Susie did as requested at once, and Tommy came to Dil's side at about the same time as the paramedics.
"Can I go with him?" Tommy asked the most senior looking paramedic breathlessly (he'd run all the way from his classroom). "I'm his brother."
"Sure," the man consented. "Can you give me a number for whoever looks after you guys?"
"That's ok," Angelica cut in. "I've called the kid's parents. They'll be on their way to the hospital right now."
x x x
For Dil, the next twenty minutes or so passed in a series of blurred images and indecipherable noises. He could still feel the baby struggling inside him. He knew that three o'clock had passed. He couldn't tell how long ago, but it concerned him that the aliens had got it wrong. Unless they had meant that three o'clock would be the time at which he would throw up more spectacularly than he had ever done in his life, in which case they were spot on. He wished that they'd told him how long it would be after that before he could expect the baby to come out.
When Dil finally regained all of his senses, he saw the welcome face of Liana smiling over him. He sighed with relief, though he still felt every muscle in his body tensing as his stomach contracted violently.
"Your parents and your brother are in the office with the doctor," Liana explained soothingly. "He's telling them he thinks you reacted badly to all that noodle soup. They're not far away, but I guess this is something they shouldn't see."
"Is it almost over?" Dil asked desperately.
"It'll just be a few more minutes," Liana said reassuringly. "And then you'll have a beautiful baby that you'll love more than anything, and it'll be worth every bit of discomfort."
"Discomfort?" Dil echoed scathingly. "Try pain! I take it you've never given birth?"
"No," Liana smiled apologetically. "Normally I'm not built for it. Ok, you might want to get onto your hands and knees."
She helped him to get into position, the tight feeling in his stomach and the occasional painful contraction inhibiting his movements a great deal. To his surprise and relief, Dil found that he actually did feel a little more comfortable on all fours. A slight groan escaped his lips as he felt a bulky shape forcing its way steadily up his oesophagus.
"Ok Dil," Liana said soothingly, gently rubbing his back through the hospital gown. "It'll all be over soon."
x x x
"There are a lot of artificial preservatives in that kind of soup, you know," Dr. Marsh said sternly. "Weren't you aware that Dylan had an allergy?"
"Obviously not," Tommy shot sarcastically at him.
"Tommy!" scolded Didi. Then she looked at the doctor and said, "We had no idea. But he's eaten that kind of soup before. Well… not in such vast quantities but… are you sure that's what it is?"
"Not positive, no," Dr. Marsh admitted. "It could be the lasting effects of those tablets that made him so ill before, but I doubt it. I think he just needs to – um – get rid of the last of it and then sleep it off. We'll examine him after that."
Apparently satisfied that he had said all he needed to, Dr. Marsh led Stu, Didi and Tommy back out into the private room to which Dil had been assigned in order to spare the other hospital patients the unpleasant sights and smells being expelled from his mouth at irregular intervals. They found him lying back on the bed, apparently exhausted, blood-spattered vomit embellishing his hospital gown.
"I'll – um – get a nurse to clean you up," offered Dr. Marsh, sidling away and disappearing out of the door.
"Honey, you're awake!" exclaimed Didi. "Are you ok?"
"I'm fine," Dil smiled serenely, looking strangely wistful. "I think it's all gone."
"Well that's a relief," remarked Stu. "I'll bet it was all that soup you were eating. I told you not to - "
"Stu!" hissed Didi, elbowing her husband in the ribs.
"That's ok, Dad," murmured Dil, sounding peaceful and at the same time almost drunk. "I won't be needing any more soup from now on. Well… at least not for a while, I hope."
x x x
Tommy was bursting with curiosity when he finally got Dil on his own. They were concealed behind the curtain surrounding the bed, the younger brother climbing into his clothes while Stu and Didi were back in Dr. Marsh's office listening to a lecture about the appropriate doses of noodle soup for nine-year-old boys.
"So what happened?" asked Tommy.
"It's a girl," Dil replied dreamily. "She's so beautiful, Tommy! I've never seen anything more wonderful in my life!"
"Um… that's great," Tommy smiled weakly, wondering not for the first time whether he should worry more about his brother than he did. "So… where is it?"
"She's safe. Liana – that's my midwife – she took her. She's gonna feed her up and give her a saltwater bath, and then she's gonna bring her to our place in time for when the father arrives on the Mother Ship."
"Really?" Tommy asked incredulously, wondering just where all that had come from.
"Mhm," Dil nodded, smiling. "I know you don't really believe it, T, but… I've never been happier."
"That's great, D. I'm happy for you," Tommy said truthfully. "So… are you gonna be a bit more cheerful after this?"
"Totally," Dil grinned crookedly. "You have no idea how scared I was. But now that I've done it and I know the aliens are gonna help me look after her, I feel great! And no more pregnancy problems either."
"So let me get this straight," said Tommy. "While Mom and Dad and I were in there with that doctor being lectured about the dangers of noodle soup, you were out here with an alien midwife giving birth?"
"That's about it," Dil agreed.
Tommy smiled to himself as he drew aside the curtain while Dil pulled on his hat. Tommy had always admired his brother's individuality, which he saw as a good thing rather than the alarming descent into madness that some people seemed to perceive it as.
"There're Mom and Dad," announced Tommy, as Stu and Didi emerged from the doctor's office. "Ready to go?"
Dil nodded efficiently, tugging at the drawstring on his hat to tighten it, and smiled blithely, "Always."
THE END
