A/n: Does anyone else hate soap operas? I hate soap operas. Hence, I shall proceed to bash them. But anyway I wrote this ages ago when I was really bored. So know you get to look and marvel upon the product of my boredom. Whatever. Just read the fic. :D


Ace Lightning as a Soap Opera.

One day after watching too much Home and Away Ace decided that Lady Illusion was a cow, and not worthy of his affections (he was right of course). So he dumped her for Sparx.

Sparx (who had also been watching Home and Away) was of course only going out with Ace to annoy Lady Illusion. It worked very well. But Sparx soon realised that she really was in love with Ace. She confided in Mark (who had been avoiding Home and Away like the plague).

"Ahhhhh!" exclaimed Mark. He ran off in fright, into the road and was hit by the ice cream truck.

Sparx took Mark to the hospital and left him there in a critical condition.

Mark's parents sued Duff.

Sparx went to tell Ace what had happened and walked into the Thunder Tower just in time to hear Lady Illusion say:

"Ace, I'm pregnant."

"Ahh!" said Ace, "How could this happen?

"The usual way," replied Lady Illusion. She saw Sparx and quickly disappeared.

"Ace how could you!" exclaimed Sparx. "It's over!"

"Oopps…"

"Oh, Mark got hit by the ice cream truck and is now in a critical condition," said Sparx and left.

"Oopps…"

Sparx was flying past the junkyard when she saw Random Virus and was immediately smitten. She went down to talk to him and they fell in love immediately.

A few weeks later Sparx finally convinced Random to fight with her and Ace and she took him back to the Thunder Tower.

Just then Mark came in in a wheelchair. "No one came and visited me!"

"Oopps…" they all said.

So Ace told Mark what had been happening. Mark was scared so he confiscated their TV as they had all been watching Home and Away instead of fighting to save the world.

Suddenly Random Virus turned evil.

"Ahh!" said Ace. Who was unfortunately drunk after finding a carton of beer in the cupboard. He flew into the telescope and knocked himself unconscious.

Random suddenly turned good again and, deciding he was too dangerous went back to the junkyard.

"Waaah!" said Sparx.

"Ahh!" said Mark.

"Oooo… hangover," said Ace.

So Sparx and Random decided to continue their relationship despite the fact they might kill each other.

Mark was careful to check both ways before crossing the road.

Nine months later Lady Illusion had a baby, but Lord Fear perverted him for evil as he did not know who his true father was.

Home and Away was taken off the air and Ace got his TV back.

When Lord Fear found out that Ace was the father he committed suicide.

Ace thought he was free from Lord Fear forever, that is, until his son came after him.

"Ahh!" said Ace, "Not now. I've still got a hangover."

THE END