YAY!! NEW CHAPTER UP! PROBLEMS FOR NARUTO! It took a while didn't it? Sorry. I was really busy over the July 4th weekend. Heh... but now I've got a new chapter up so no complaints because you have what you wanted now, right? XD This story is so fun to write.... heh heh heh... very, very fun... XD ::Whispers to self:: I am evil.... I am evil.... I am evil.... I am evil.... I am evil.... I am evil.... I am............. ::Comes out of I am Evil Trance::
By the way thanks for all the wonderful reviews!!
x3 tenshinoreika999 x3 Aimi-chan x3 TheGreatAnimeFan x3 phantomgamer01 x3 Lost Deam x3 PuNkRoCkBuNnY182 x3 kashisenshey x3 x3-cassie x3
Some more notes to reviewers..
PuNkRoCkBuNnY182: Nah you don't have to dedicate a story to me.
kashisenshey: Maybe i will make Hinata walk in on Naruto cross dressing LOL
TheGreatAnimeFan: LOL yeah i just might make Naruto find out about the Sasuke's Hello Kitty and Pink stuff.
Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine.
Further notes: my humor has been failing me lately. So bear with me if some chapters are... not that... funny? Eh heh... ::droop:: SORRY!!! Enjoy the chapter anyways...
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Problems for Naruto
Sasuke remembered that on the last mission Naruto, Sakura, Kakashi and himself had been assigned to complete had been an easy trip which consisted a lot of camping. During those camps, stops, or whatever you want to call them, Sakura was the one who did all of the cooking (her being a girl and all that). Because Naruto and Kakashi just didn't have the skill to cook (they were too lazy to do so anyway). And Sasuke covered over the fact that he liked having a servant to cook for him [he was too high up to cook anyways] by saying he also did not cook. Notice that he said did not, not could not. Sasuke always told himself that he had the skill to do anything. Consequently, he could also cook if forced to. [ ::cough:: Everyone, cough with me! ::cough:: ]
One day, Sakura had decided to make a meal that had a lot of flavor to it. She thought and thought about what to make, probing her mind for new and old recipes. Then, she decided to make some spicy stew. And that was what she did. She threw some stuff together along with hot peppers and after an hour, it was done. Everyone liked it. That is, everyone except Naruto. He had been away swimming in the river so he couldn't stop Sakura from cooking the spicy stew. And as soon as he got out and it was ready, he had taken a huge spoonful and gulped it down. His face turned green then red and he threw up seconds later. Sasuke actually thought that Naruto was pretty hot when he ate spicy stuff. After Naruto had calmed a little, he gagged out that he hated spicy stuff. The next day, the team could not keep moving along with their mission because Naruto had a humongous stomach ache from the stew.
And that was what inspired Sasuke to go along with his next evil plot. The container Sasuke was holding was a bottle of "Triple Hot Pepper/Chili Sauce". It was one of those sauces that were three times as spicy as any spicy dish you had tasted before, in Naruto's case, it would be the stew he had on his last mission. Sasuke grinned at the thought of Naruto turning green and whatever other color he could possibly become (maybe pink! Sasuke decided that Naruto would really be hot and sexy with his face pink) and maybe Naruto would throw up in the sub shop while he taunted Naruto about it. Sasuke was really playing dirty this time. And he was all for it.
Sasuke opened the bottle of chili sauce and dumped as much as he could into Naruto's sub. Then he put the top piece of bread back on and squashed it down with his hand. Quite a bit of sauce leaked out and Sasuke professionally wiped the surplus sauce away with a napkin. Then he poured a little bit of the Triple Hot Pepper/Chili Sauce into his own sub. He liked spicy stuff. Yes, he did. It wasn't as good as any other kind of pink stuff though. If the sauce was a pink color, who knows what Sasuke would do with it other than eat it? Probably paint his house with it but back to the story!
Sasuke returned to the group with the subs. Everyone was laughing and giggling among themselves while whispering and sometimes pointing at Naruto. Naruto was oblivious to all around him – except Sasuke [HOLY SHIT!! WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??].
"SASUKE?? WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?! YOU SLOW SERVANT!"
Sasuke's smirk vanished fast and was replaced by anger and frustration. "Oh, well, I'll have to deal with it anyways if I want this to work," Sasuke thought. He handed the food to Naruto. Naruto got up slightly from his chair to take his food. Sasuke was about to turn away when he saw something on Naruto's chair. It was a black blob of... something... Sasuke suddenly got an idea to totally humiliate Naruto.
Sasuke sat down next to Shikamaru the Chuunin. He had no one else he wanted to sit with anyway. Sakura and Ino were annoying, he wouldn't fit next to Chouji, Naruto was a gay ass,... his mind continued to list his reasons for sitting next to Shikamaru. Plus, here it was not too close from Naruto to get attacked and not too far to see his reaction to his genius plan.
"Hey, Dobe."
"WHAT?!?"
"Get up from your chair."
"NO! WHY?"
"Just do it."
"NO!!! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!!!"
"Just do what he says!!" Sakura yelled. She was so obsessed over Sasuke that she would bend to his every whim.
"Sakura-chan..." Naruto gazed at her for a minute then he reluctantly obliged.
"Heh... what did you do to your chair Naruto?"
Naruto looked down at the chair and saw the black blob.
"I... I... I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!!"
Everyone craned their necks to see what was on Naruto's chair.
"Yeah, you did." Sasuke said calmly.
"EWWW....Did you crap in your pants and some of your shit leak out from a hole in your pants or something???" Ino yelled.
"UGH! THAT LOOKS EVEN WORSE THAN AKAMARU'S SHIT!" Kiba cried out. Akamaru barked loudly in agreement. [Now how in the world did that dog end up in the restaurant? Aren't dogs banned from those public places?]
"EWWW! And I never knew Naruto still crapped in his pants!! I think he still needs some diapers!" Sakura stated.
"Hm... it looks like dark chocolate. Does your shit taste as good as Dark Chocolate?" Chouji asked.
And everyone buzzed with questions and complaints and their thoughts.
Meanwhile, Sasuke was pouting. HOW DARE THEY TAKE AWAY HIS REVENGE! He was the one who was supposed to say what the others were saying!! It was his idea! It was his revenge on Naruto! Naruto was supposed to get mad at him! Naruto was supposed to yell, scream, turn red with embarrassment, and challenge Sasuke to a match! Now, Naruto was yelling at Ino, Kiba, Chouji and the other low downers and challenging Kiba to a match!! While Sasuke was stuck on the outside!! He was the one who was supposed to get words of admiration from everyone for making Naruto feel bad!! He was the one who was supposed to taunt Naruto and make him feel worse! Not the others!! He was...!! He was...!! He was...!! He...
Sasuke kept his thoughts to himself. If anything else happened that went against his Revenge Plan, he would.............
...........would............
......................kill.
-----An Hour Later-----
Naruto continued to argue and defend himself about the black stuff on the chair while everyone else continued to jeer at him. [He didn't sit back down on the chair by the way.] And soon, there were fewer remarks that pissed Naruto off, and he decided to start and finish eating quickly and go back home to his interesting... hobbies.
Sasuke watched as Naruto picked up his sub, opened his mouth, and...
Suddenly, a voice called out, "HEY NARUTO!! Do you really have a closet at home just for you to cross dress in?!?!"
Naruto had already bitten into his sub and was already turning green and red at the taste. He turned even greener and redder at that question that was asked of him. He slowly turned to his group of... companions and his eyes showed confusion and fear.
But, if you looked underneath the underneath like what Kakashi-sensei always tells you little boys and girls to do, you would see that Naruto basically said, "Yes. I have a closet at home just for myself to cross dress in."
As soon as Sasuke saw Naruto's reaction, he wanted to lean back, put a silly smile on his face, swing his legs back and forth like a little three year old, and clap his hands in jubilation. [WHOA... imagine Sasuke like... THAT... but that's besides the point... BACK TO THE STORY... ] Oh, how pwwweeecioooouuussss Naruto's expression was. Sasuke absolutely adored and loved it. He suddenly felt like Gollum from Lord of the Rings. My pwweeeeeeeeecccccccciiiiiiooooouuuuuuusssss......
Naruto, however, was not in such a state of joy and happiness and jubilation. He put down his sub and... coughed fire.
Sasuke leaned over and grinned evilly. "Can't stand spicy stuff, Big Baby?"
Naruto glared at him but continued to gag.
"Does mommy have to bring you water? Or order you a new sub? Or take out the hot sauce from your food? Or does Mommy have to comfort you because you're upset because everyone found out your secret? Huh? Huh?" Sasuke taunted.
"SHUT ::cough:: UP!! I ::cough:: LIKE THE ::cough:: SUB!!! AND... ::cough:: I DON'T CRO-CROSS DRESS!! ::gag::"
Everyone found his reaction extremely funny. I mean, even Shikamaru laughed. Now, that means that was extremely funny.
"Heh. Baka..." Sasuke smirked.
"Y- ::cough:: YOU'RE THE ::cough:: BA- ::cough:: BAKA...!!"
"No I'm not, Dobe."
"SH- ::cough:: SHUT UP!! ::cough:: YOU'RE THE ONE ::cough:: THE ONE THAT ::cough:: LIKES PI- ::cough:: PINK STUFF!!"
Sasuke snapped deep inside. "There he goes again!! Insulting my color!! How dare he!! I'll kill him... KILL HIM!!!" he screamed inside. On the outside, however, Sasuke's expression only darkened, nothing more, nothing less. He forced himself to keep cool.
Naruto, however, had not felt the urge to kill Sasuke yet for making him look like a fool. He was too preoccupied on focusing how to survive from the sauce and trying to come up with a conclusion as to how his secret had been made known.
"HOW... SPICY STUFF... GET IN... SUB... SECRET... FOUND... OUT... HOW..." Naruto coughed again and drained his Coca Cola Drink. But the bubbly drink hardly helped. Actually, it had the opposite effect on Naruto. It made his mouth tingle and intensify the spicy taste. Naruto spit out the soda right onto who else, but our seething dark-expressioned ice cube Uchiha Sasuke. While Sasuke had been seething, he had let his guard up on the inside, but his guard down on the outside. So he didn't have a chance of ducking the spontaneous spray of brown colored bubbly liquid.
There was a long moment of silence. Everyone stopped laughing. They knew that this little incident would definitely tick the Uchiha off. And they so did not want to suffer the consequences.
Sasuke stared at Naruto, Coca Cola dripping from his face, hardly believing what was happening to him. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY REPUTATION!!!!!!!!" He screamed inside. ::sob:: ::sob:: Sasuke had always focused on being sexy and cool with all the girls after him, but right now, he wasn't cool or sexy. He was.... a fool. He had made blending in with the crowd his sole goal, but now... he wasn't of the crowd. He was singled out with everyone in the store staring at him like he had sprouted pink bunny ears. Not that that was a bad thing or anything but he was so not blending right now. And that's when his fury reached its highest peak. Sasuke's blank expression turned into one of anger and hate.
"YOU ARE SO. GONNA. GET IT NOW. FOXY BOY!" he yelled. And Sasuke crossed his arms over each other and began his most feared attack.... Chidori – also known as Raikiri or Thousand Birds or Lightning Edge. Chakra was gathered in his hand within seconds and the lightning like attack were all but safe. "WE'RE TAKING THIS OUTSIDE... NOW!!" he yelled.
"I'M NOT FOXY BOY!! I'M NARUTO!!"
"OH YEAH? HOW ABOUT THIS? FOXY BOY! DOBE! MORON! BAKA! IDIOT! BLONDIE! CROSS DRESSER! FEMINIME ITEMS OWNER! LOSER!"
Naruto's eyes narrowed, but he remembered his food. He wanted to eat it fist before fighting Sasuke but it had chili sauce in it. What a dilemma!
"Nooooooooooooo......I don't want to fight though.... I'm hungry... I need to eat first........ SSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUBBBBBBBBBB!!!!! RAAAAMMMMEEEENNNNNNN!!!!! FFFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he coughed and gagged again.
And Sasuke's eyes blazed with annoyance, anger, hatred, and all else.
"I don't want to die yet either!!"
Sasuke's Chidori continued to grow. And Naruto finally realized he was going to die. He saw the way Sasuke's eyes were and how his Chidori was almost completed.
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I DON'T WANNA DIE!!!!! I'M TOO YOUNG!!!!" Naruto ran out of the Sub Shop, forgetting about everything except getting away. Sasuke sprang after him with his Chidori arm outstretched in pursuit. His arm hit the floor and walls of the little restaurant and the building began to collapse. Everyone inside screamed and ran out. Sasuke got outside the building and searched for Naruto with his red eyes. Where was he? Then he saw an orange blur out of the corner of his eye.
"GET OVER HERE YOU!!!!!" Sasuke turned the corner to view an unbelievable scene.
Naruto was humping a telephone pole!!
"NOOOO!!! I CAN'T DIE A VIRGIN!! I ALWAYS TOLD MYSELF I WOULD DO IT BEFORE I DIED AND HAVE CHILDREN!!!" he screeched.
Sasuke watched him for a while and then smirked. "So you want little blonde dumb ass telephone poles to be your kids?"
Naruto moved to the other side of the pole so he could continue his activity and watch Sasuke at the same time. He glared at Sasuke. Oh, how he hated him!! Everyone thought Sasuke was the greatest and coolest and whatnot! Naruto could see that even he was better than him!! But noooooooooooooo...... everyone liked Sasuke better. Naruto just didn't understand. But then a most unexpected thing happened. Even less expected than Naruto humping the telephone pole.
Sasuke LAUGHED!!! Yes, he LAUGHED.
"EEEE HHHHEEEE HEEEE HEEE HEEE HEEEEEEEEE!!!! WOO HOO HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" Sasuke cackled and let loose the evil Uchiha laugh that no one had ever heard before.
Naruto was struck dumb and his jaw hit the floor fast as he watched Sasuke continue his laughter that was everything but sane.
Sasuke doubled over with laughter and boy, was Naruto freaked out. These things had never happened to Naruto before and suddenly he decided that this telephone he was screwing wasn't exactly a very good match for him.
"Sorry, I gotta go, my lovely wuvly telephone poley. I'll continue with you later. Don't worry, I still love you." He kissed and stroked the pole a few times and made his getaway while Sasuke was still cackling and rolling on the ground, still with the Chidori and his hand. Every time he rolled over, holes were blasted in the street. [Can you imagine that...]
After Sasuke was over his insanity and the sight of Naruto trying hard to do it with a telephone pole, he was back to his normal self. Naruto was better prey than any body else. Sasuke snickered. He was having fun.
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I love to make people suffer... Heh heh heh... Was that even a good chapter? Not a lot of funny stuff in there. Tell me about it... == Nooooo I can't believe it... I'm running out of ideas. T T someone wanna help me out? Heh... Sasuke made some mistakes by saying some stuff that he said. ::smirk:: Who knows how that will be used to his disadvantage? Read the next chapter to find out!!!!!!! I have to think of something.... by the way. There are parts in the story which werem't my ideas. Credit goes to Trisha Suzy and Sherlynn.
