Thanks for all of the feedback on this baby. I figure, there will be 14-15 parts on this one. I haven't started working on the third story, it might just be a stand alone, it's all debateable. The next part might not come for about a week or so, I've been sick and when I am sick I cease functioning properly. My brain turns to absolute mush.

Enjoy! Have a good weekend:)

Jackie

Thanks to: XBlueShadowX, Aimee5, Charmboy4, starryeyes10, Nikki, dansingwolf, jag4ever, lei, Jackia, EternalSleep, Cristina, Tina Frank, achaon, Abigaile, Hieros Gamos, froggy0319, joanoa, JadeAlmasy, SpaceMan546, dansingwolf, carbygirl , JAGJenni, Manda, starryeyes, BiteBeccy, ng59678, LtColDevilDog, martini, mizukimarr, jtbwriter, Macaroon, Lissie, n.k, Lt.jgMegAustin, cbw, dansingwolf, Apion, alix33, jnp, MacHarm4Ever, Tania, Macaroon, harmfan, Jagnut, Claire Vincent, Navy Babe, Nix, Martini, jaggurl, Laura, CoolCat, sunnysky, smithknk, mjag, FoxyWombat, carbygirl, moonlight, socgrl, NinjaTurtle, Sunny, kristie, mjag. Aserene, Dessler and anyone else I missed for the Feedback

Part 8 – In A Rose Garden
0950 Zulu
North East Of Corner Brook
Newfoundland, Canada

Mac hadn't been up long, Harm deduced; his hand running slowly over the area she'd formerly occupied. Glancing towards the window, he found her covered in a blanket looking out at the rain that was still falling. He would have panicked, but decided to first test the waters, praying an awkward moment wouldn't present itself.

Waking next to him had been like a dream. It gave at least a glimmer of hope in this nightmare they'd been thrown into. She didn't want to get up, but the night and the storm outside called to her. Mac fumbled through the pockets of her still wet jeans, fishing out her dog tags and the gold band Trish had given her. Eventually, she'd tell Harm that she had it, but for now, Mac was intent on keeping it to herself. She'd slipped the tags on and fingered the ring as she had so many times before.

Quietly, Harm raised himself off of the floor, and padded softly until he stood behind her. There he stopped unsure if he should break her reverie, not wanting to scare her. But, if he thought she wasn't aware of how near he was, then Harm had another thing coming. Slowly, his arms encircled her waist. His lips found a particular spot that he realized she liked to have kissed. As he nuzzled her neck, she couldn't stop the giggle the came about. "I hope I didn't wake you."

"No, the lack of warmth did."

Mac frowned as she stared out into the night, thoughts of the two that had died because of this crazy mission battered her conscience. "Their bodies are still out there?" They were enemies of their personal war. Two people who were put in a situation they never should have been in. Yes, all wars had casualties, but it still bothered her.

"We'll bury the bodies before we leave. . .It's the least we can do." He cradled her body, rocking her gently as the demons subsided. Mac turned around so she could face Harm, noticing he was standing there completely naked. She opened the blanket up for him and wrapped I around the both of them. Their lips sought each others again, tasting, caressing, meshing. With every breath and every caress Mac realized she'd forever be hopelessly in love with this man. "Come to bed."

Coyly, she glanced up at him, her eyes alive with mischief. "That's not a bed."

"Okay, come to the floor, then." He said with a mixture of amusement and enthusiasm. Harm led her back to their makeshift bed, passing a string that Mac had tied between furniture in order to hang their clothes dry. It was awe-inspiring how at ease they were with each other, as if making love were a normal occurrence. He liked that aspect of it all because he wanted her to be comfortable with him and him with her.

Mac crawled under the blanket first, removing the one that she had wrapped around them and placing it on top of the other they'd been using. She held them for Harm to crawl in and the moment he did, her lips were fused onto his again. "Thank you." She said when they parted. "Thank you for saving me."

"You did the same for me." Harm's hand delicately traced her facial features, stopping so he could kiss her lips. He couldn't get enough of that, he assumed he never would. "I only wish you'd been the one warming me up that night I took a dip in the Atlantic. . ."

"I had a chance to talk to Skates after that." Mac chuckled at the stories the younger woman had about that fateful night, things Harm couldn't remember due to his partial loss of memories. "She jumped you in sickbay. . .said it worked pretty well and that you asked her if you two had ever dated."

Now that part he hadn't heard, since most of the medical team were junior officers, they'd all decided to keep those tidbits to themselves. "Wow, talk about really being out of it."

"That time was the most selfish I'd ever been." Frowning, she lay back deeply sighing as her mind forced herself to ignore that part of their past. It had been scary, to say the least. But, the outcome of it all was ridiculous.

"Selfish? How so?"

In one word, what she was referring to was Renee. True, she never liked the other woman and only stomached her because Mac loved Harm too much to berate his girlfriend, but there was one time that all of her values came crashing around her. "That night I came to your apartment after Mic left. . .I drove over there like a bat out of hell without. . .hesitation. . . I wanted you to comfort me and only me. Then and there I wanted you to chose me over Renee. . .But you had a responsibility to her, not to a woman who just a few days ago was scheduled to marry another man. . .Even on the LHA, that is what I wanted, to know that you'd give up something so precious to you in order to have me."

The problem with that, of course, was that it took Harm quite a while to figure out that Mac needed the whole package. She needed the words and the actions. He understood that it came from a childhood that was less than wonderful. Unfortunately, had he realized that long ago, they never would have been in this predicament. "You know, that time on the LHA, you never let me answer."

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does. . . I said yes, Mac." He glanced over, her eyes widening in shock, mouth slightly agape. "I'd have given Renee up for you. . .If only I knew that it was me that you wanted."

Mac shut her mouth closed and turned slightly away from him. "I have to be the biggest moron on the planet." She was beating herself up, like she always did, but for good reason. Harm had always been there, would always be there and all she could do was try petty little tests and arguments.

"So am I, because I also kept missing the signals. . . Like in Sydney, what was it that you wanted from me?"

"That conversation in Sydney. . .was one of the worst we've ever had. . .You misunderstood what I needed."

"What did you need?"

Mac needed a lot of things, but all in all, one thing would have been just fine. "You. . . I just wanted you. . .your heart. . . I went to Mic because when I laid my heart out for you, you crushed it." Her eyes glistened as the words came out. It was agonizing, but, ironically it felt good to lay things all out on the line.

Nightmares of their talk on the ferry had plagued Harm since that evening. That night, after they'd taken the ferry back, there was a tension between them. One that Harm was sure would go away if he just did something. Always the gentleman, he walked her to her hotel room and even after that conversation on the ferry, she still looked up at him in anticipation. He knew she wanted him to kiss her, possibly even spend the night, but Harm wasn't ready for that. Truth was, Harm was afraid that when they went back home, it would all have been for naught. "I thought you wanted something else. . .And I was afraid that we would go back to Washington and it would not work out. . .I couldn't destroy our friendship. . .I really didn't realize what an idiot I was until I saw you and Mic kissing." Years after it all, that image was engraved into his psyche. It was one he was hoping would eventually burn away. But no, it remained as a showing of how out of control things could get when he made silly choices. "I think what bothered me the most was that we had a very unique relationship before I. . ."

"Left to fly, I know." But what he didn't know was that a part of her left with him. Getting back to work that day that Harm had left ops was impossible. Though she put on a poker face, inside she was broken. It wasn't her best friend that left. It was the man she'd been secretly in love with, one that she was sure loved her back but, because of past failures couldn't let go. "I learned to live without you. . .And it wasn't easy. . . But, when you came back, you thought things would be the same. . . And I know you resented me for being promoted first."

Harm shook his head. It had come to a shock, yes, but he didn't resent her. Mac deserved that promotion, he was the fool chasing a childhood dream. "I didn't resent you for the promotion. . .What I resented was you and Brumby being so. . .chummy. . .I just wanted us to be un-complicated."

Mac chuckled. That complicated word did seem to come up quite a lot during their history. If their current situation had any bearing on their relationship, it was proof that things between them would always go through he non-conventional approach. "We've never been un-complicated. . .I don't think we'll ever be. The two of us are too stubborn to do things the easy way."

"You know? I thought I had un-complicated it that night on the Admiral's porch when we talked."

Men were so dense sometimes. "That complicated things even more. . .I was getting ready for my wedding." Did he think she would just up and run to him while she was wearing another man's ring? The thought was tempting, but it wasn't in her to do that. Mic was safe, a man that wanted her and wanted to give her the things she needed. Harm, while he was the one she truly loved, was an enigma, a man that she was afraid to go to and have him hurt her all over again. "Do you know what I really wanted from you?"

He thought he knew, but with Mac, Harm never was sure. "No."

"This is going to sound ridiculous, but I wanted you to do the Neanderthal thing and fight for me. Claim me as being yours."

Harm chuckled. "You don't look like the type of woman that wants a controlling man in her life, Mac. That's why I never did it. . . I thought you wanted me to back off, so I did."

She shook her head. "No, I don't like controlling men. I've had that in my past, but it would be nice for you to fight for me. . ." Shyly she shrugged. "I think all women, deep inside, want a knight in shining armor, the guy that rights the wrongs and keeps us away from the wrong guys." Her hand moved slowly tracing his cheeks, then his nose. "Maybe all of this is fate because in the end we wound up together. . . I guess that is some sort of sign, huh?"

Harm's sexy grin captivated her. "Yea it is. . .And though I am sure we still have things to discuss. . .I want another kiss."

"Oooh, what makes you think you deserve another?" She flirted back at him, her eyebrow raising in question as a saccharine sweet smile appeared on her face.

"Well, to start with. . .I know where your tattoos are and since I have that intimate knowledge, it deserves some sort of reward." He liked this, the ease that they were flirting with each other. What Harm liked even more was that they didn't have to stop and be cautious with it.

"How is it that you've never seen the one on my ankle? I only have it covered during work. Are you not a legs type of guy?" She teased.

"No, I am. . . and you do have lovely legs." Harm's voice said seductively, his hand running slowly up her leg. "But, for me it's your eyes that do me in."

"My eyes?" His voice was so bedroom sweet, that it was being difficult for Mac not have her way with him. And that look in his eyes was tuning her to mush. Yes, Sarah MacKenzie was hopelessly in love and falling even farther by the minute.

"Oh yea. . .Your eyes are so . . .expressive that. . .I have to admit, sometimes you've made my heart stop." It had been the truth, though Harmon Rabb had learned to mask his emotions better than a high stakes poker player. Mac had always made him feel like a silly teenager. Her eyes, the emotions that lay within, completely captivated him.

"How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

Mac sighed happily, feeling his fingers run up and down her back. Her breath hitched slightly and she closed her eyes, giving into the sensation. "Take my breath away?"

"Have I done that before?"

Had he done that before? Like he had to ask? "Yes. . . You've had a hold on me for a very long time, Harm. . .I just didn't want to get hurt."

Harm nodded, it had been the same for him, cept, at first it wasn't just about getting hurt. It was about him not being able to decipher between Mac and Diane. But, that was past now, water under the bridge. And he wouldn't let his relationship with Mac suffer any longer.

They lay quietly together, Harm slowly running circles along her back as Mac's hand did the same on his chest. They were watching each other, looks so intense it could have melted and iceberg. And after everything they'd said, there was one thing that still needed to get out. "I love you." They said in unison, then both waited a moment for that to register, then started chuckling.

Mac bit her lower lip. "I ah, was trying to get that out before you did."

"Me too." Harm confessed.

"I think I should have told you that night in Sydney. Maybe things wouldn't have been so out of control."

Harm nodded. "And I should have told you when we first kissed. Remember that night in Norfolk?" Remember? Hell, Mac had it etched in her memory. It was sweet, so very sweet, but when they pulled apart and she saw the look in her eyes, Mac realized he wasn't kissing her. "I had conflicting feelings because I wanted to see you as you. I wanted to stop hoping she'd come back to me. . .And when we kissed, those conflicting feelings weren't so conflicting anymore. . .I realized that for the last year and a half I was falling for you. . .Diane was just a memory."

Mac let out a sigh of relief. She'd always been bothered by his love of Diane. Not that she was jealous, but more like concerned over who he was seeing when he looked at her. "I want to say that I fell for you when we met, but that would be a bad cliché. . .But, I think along the lines of you helping with Uncle Matt and you hanging out of that helo. . .It did something to me. . .I started seeing that not all men were the same. You were special. . .And I know I was a bit. . uh, hostile at first, but I was just guarding myself because I could see myself falling for you and having my heartbroken."

But, even so, for all the guarding that they did, each of them had their heartbroken. "And still, I've broken your heart. . .I wish I could take that all away. . .start again." He said with a frown.

Mac reached her hand up, touching the sad features of his face. "And I've broken yours. . . .I think that, even if we started again, this. . .all of this, would have still happened. . .Because we needed to live life and grow up."

Grow up? He doubted that would ever happen. "You think we've grown up?"

Chuckling, she shook her head 'no.' "Nope. . .I think we are two kids stuck in adult bodies because of what our pasts dictated. . .I do, however, believe we can learn from the past. We may not have put all our demons to rest, but we've learned to bury them better."

"You're very philosophical at this hour, MacKenzie." He brought one arm around Mac, pulling her body against his as he rolled onto his back. Harm kissed her slowly, taking all of his time to enjoy her sweet lips on his. As the weight of her body pushed down on his, he felt something hard against his chest. Looking down, he saw something he hadn't noticed before – it was shining in the light of the fireplace as it hung on a chain alongside Mac's dog tags.

He reached between them and tugged the chain over Mac's head, taking the band between his fingers, squinting to take a good look at it.. Before he was captured, back in December, he had made a conscious decision to put some sort of ring on Mac's finger come the New Year. She could call it a friendship ring, a promise ring. She even could have chosen not to wear it, but he wanted her to have it as a sign of his willingness to start a life with her. An engagement ring would be too extravagant for two people that hadn't once dated romantically. But, he remembered his family ring, one that his father had given to his mother and the other Rabb men generation to the woman they wanted to spend their lives with.

The last time he was in California, Harm had snuck into his mother's bedroom and found the band. Trish had it inside an extravagant box which only housed her most cherished pieces of jewelry. All of his life, he barely remembered the ring, but in one of those flashes of memory, he was drawn to it. He must have spent a good hour just staring at it, memorizing every inch of the engraving, finding it ironic, but amusing that it was roses.

-'Where'd you find this sailor, Sarah?'

'In a rose garden, Uncle Matt.'-

Mac's breath caught as he stared down at the gold band. Had she done the wrong thing by choosing to wear it along side her dog tags? Should she have slipped it on her finger instead? Worse yet, did he just not want her to have that? Was Trish mistaken when she'd placed that band in Mac's care?

-"There's something I want you to have. This was mine and it was Grandma Sarah's before that. . ."

Mac took the box and slowly opened it. Inside lay a beautiful band with roses engraved around it. "I don't understand."

"Harm loved you." Trish stated simply, with conviction because she knew it was the truth.

Mac stared at the beautiful simplicity of the band, her eyes filling with tears over a man she possibly would never see again. A man that she never got to tell how much she loved him. "I know."-

"Your mom. . .When we had your . . ." It was difficult to say it, knowing he was alive and well. Mac hoped she'd never have to live a day like that ever again. ". . .At Arlington, after the service she and I spent some time talking. . .She said she wanted me to have it because you loved me." He did love her, she knew that now. But, she couldn't help the nagging feeling inside. What if love wasn't enough? What if what Harm's promise to 'always be there' came with a limitation? "I'm sorry, Harm." She slid off of him, coming to lay on her back.

Harm fingered the band, feeling each indentation as if memorizing them. It was beautiful, simple, but beautiful, like his Marine. He smiled brightly, wishing he could keep it together, but failing. A tear slid down his cheek and down to the pillow as his eyes. "I can't believe you have this." When this was all over, the first thing he had to do was call his mother and thank her. Thank her for dealing with all of his problematic teenaged years. But, the main thing he had to do was thank Trish for putting things into perspective again, for making him believe there was still a future with Sarah MacKenzie. He turned to his side, staring at Mac who's beautiful face had scrunched up in a frown. "You were meant to have this Sarah. . .I wanted to give it to you on New Years Eve. . .I wanted you to have this."

Mac creased her forehead in confusion, he wasn't upset. In fact, he looked overjoyed. Reaching up, she brushed away a tear from his eyes. "I thought you would be upset if I had it. . .Actually, I, didn't know what to think." She swallowed down the lump at her throat, then moved to him, wrapping her arms around his body. "I wanted to slip it on my finger so many times. . . But it didn't seem right if it wasn't you that put it there."

"We can do that now. . . Because, I'm ready, Mac. . .I'm ready for you. I've been ready for you. . .I just needed to know you were ready for me."

She pulled away from him, the love in his eyes warming her heart. God, she loved him. "I want to wait until we are out of here and we're home. . . There's so much going on around us, things we have to concentrate on. . . When we get home and the dust settles. . .I would like you to put that band in the right place."

Harm smugly smiled down at her. God, this was really happening, they were finally on the same page of the same book. "Until then, I like the idea you had of keeping it near your heart." He slipped the chain over her head, staring down at the band and how it contrasted beautifully with the color of her skin. "It's almost as beautiful as you are. . .almost."

"Flattery will get you everywhere, my flyboy." Smiling, she reached up and kissed him soundly. "Now, how about we get some sleep then get the hell out of here and back to a semi-normal life."

Harm pulled her into his chest, his hands running slowly up and down her arms, making sure Mac was warm. "I wouldn't want it any other way."
-

NK – And I am obviously on crack because, at first I read that you had a CLOD not a cold. LOL! Fun, I have a cold too, next time PLEASE keep yer germs to yerself:P Course, if it wasn't your germs I got, I do apologize. ;) DH is great! And yea no DH for a while. I still say DJE and CB need to be on DH. I might write a story about that, just not sure if I can tackle all of the DH cast, too many people!

Xblue – I was never upset with DJE because, as an actor, I am sure he is bored of JAG and when an actor is bored of the show they are on, the acting suffers. I found it strange that earlier this season he said he'd be happy to go for another season. But, now that things come out into the light, it appears DPB and TPTB didn't want him around for another season. Sick, when the show revolves around Harm, but okay, I'll live. It's why I have a punching bag outside for. ;) I don't mind it going on without Harm, BUT, as a spin off and as long as Harm and Mac get some real closure not some bullshit that says they are sorta together or make your own conclusion. I hope to God DJE does wonderful in ABC and TPTB of JAG can kiss his ass. Calix – but you put up with us dontcha? Or is it that Xblue pays you well? ;)

HarmFan – Glad you are still digging it! Yes, I plan to keep writing until I a) run out of ideas or b) run out of readers. :) I have a lot of odd ideas and some fun ideas rolling around. I have a file with a bunch of ideas for stories. We'll see how it goes.

Joanoa – At least it wasn't the pee pee dance. ;) Glad yer happy!

Carbygirl – I am sure you had a smile! LOL! I would LOVE to see something of this nature on screen, it could have literally encompassed like about 6 episodes or something. Wow, hey DPB, look at me! ;)

JTBwriter – LOL! Poor mans excuse for a hunk! I LOVE IT! I agree too. Of course, I am a bit ticked over the DJE thing, but Vic-ick isn't my type. No weasel, I haven't really thought of writing about him for a while, he might show up, people might want to know about him. Or not. LOL!

Mjag – Oh, I think Harm can be a nice energizer bunny too if he had the right motivation. ;)

Froggy – Well, I put our clone orders in. We get to chose 3 sets of clothes from the JAG set, of course I picked the dress whites, summer whites and that flight suit:)