Chapter Three
A/N: And here's the last chapter… I'm sooo tired that it's not even funny. Dead on my feet? Oh, yeah. In any case, enjoy!
An incredibly large group of Elves turned the corner of the tunnel and ran down the hallway. Galadriel pushed Gimli out from under her cloak and into the room she shared with Celeborn, slamming the door shut behind her.
"Halt!" cried Thranduil, skidding to a stop in front of them, flinging his arms backwards to stop the crowd behind him. His breathing was ragged, his braids were undone, and his robes were dirty and creased. He advanced on Galadriel and Celeborn threateningly.
"Have you seen the leprechaun?" he demanded.
"No, not at all," said Galadriel, trying to look innocent. It must have worked, because Thranduil stood back.
"Very well, then," he said, brushing down his robes and straightening up. "Onward, troops!" he cried, and sprinted off down the hall again.
The leaders of Lothlórien stood tense and silent a moment, waiting for the Mirkwood Elves to pass. They were still quiet for a few seconds after to make sure they were gone. When the last of the footsteps died away, they relaxed and exhaled.
"Well, that went better than expected," Celeborn said, sounding relieved.
"Indeed," agreed Galadriel, slumping against the wall.
It wasn't a second later that the footsteps started again.
The two glanced at each other in terror.
And to their surprise, it was only Legolas. He ran up and stopped in front of them, bent over double and panting. They didn't know that he was on their side, though, and they stiffened.
"Do you…know…where Gimli…is?" he asked after he'd partially caught his breath.
"No!" cried Galadriel. "And if we did, we wouldn't tell you, you rabid leprechaun hunter!"
Legolas looked up at her, his expression a mix of shock, astonishment, and crazed amusement. "Lady…I'm helping him!" He paused. "I'm trying to, anyway."
Celeborn snorted with laughter. "Did you do that to Thranduil?"
Legolas straightened up and blushed. "Yes, I'm sorry to say that I did. So, do you know where Gimli is?"
"Yeah. He's in my room," said Galadriel, opening the door and leading them inside. Gimli stood in the middle of the room, his usually ruddy face a pale white. He was trembling and making the tiny noises a horrified animal makes right before it gets killed.
"Calm down," Legolas said gently. "They're gone. We'll find some way to save you."
"This is your fault, you fool Elf!" cried Gimli, pointing at Legolas. "If you hadn't made me come, I wouldn't be in this position!"
"Now, now, Gimli. Calm down – "
"Don't do that to me!" shouted the Dwarf. "I'm not a child!"
"We know you're not!"
Galadriel patted Gimli's head. "I know where we can put you for now," she said. She opened the large cedar wardrobe that stood in the room and pointed inside.
"You want me to go in there?" asked Gimli, even more frightened than before.
"Yes," nodded the Lady.
"Me…in there?"
"Yes."
"Uh, Milady, I don't think that's the best idea…" began Legolas, but then there was a banging on the door, and Celeborn picked up the Dwarf and shoved him into the wardrobe.
Galadriel opened the door.
A very angry and very suspicious-looking Thranduil stood outside of it.
"Where is he?" asked the Elvenking.
"Who?" Galadriel asked, smiling prettily.
"The leprechaun! I know you have it!"
"I don't know what you're talking about," said Galadriel, determined to keep up the ruse.
Haldir appeared behind Thranduil. "What's going on?" he asked.
"Nothing," lied Celeborn.
Then Thranduil saw his son. "Legolas, what are you doing in the Lord and Lady's bedchamber?" he asked reprovingly.
Gimli, meanwhile, was starting to hyperventilate. He was horribly claustrophobic, and was slowly succumbing to the hallucination that he was going to suffocate. And the smell of the cedar wasn't helping.
All the Elves were tense as they waited for Legolas to give his father an answer.
And that's when Gimli lost it.
The wardrobe began to bang and shake and wobble from side to side as the Dwarf pounded on it, his shouts muffled by the heavy robes and thick wood.
"I need him!" cried Galadriel, heaving Legolas toward the wardrobe and throwing herself against the doors, struggling to keep them closed. "We're working on a project!"
Thranduil lifted an eyebrow. "What kind of project?"
"Can't tell!" Galadriel said shrilly. "It's top secret!"
"And what in Arda is wrong with that wardrobe?" Thranduil asked.
"The equipment's in there!" she shrieked.
"What equipment?" asked Haldir.
Galadriel shot him a death glare. "You know, the equipment," she said meaningfully.
Haldir realized the trick. "Oh, yeah! That equipment!"
Thranduil shrugged. "All right, then. I'll leave you to it. You'll have to tell me all about it later, son!"
"I will, Dad!" called Legolas as Thranduil strode away.
When they were sure he was gone, Haldir hurried in and closed the door. "What is going on here, Milord?" he asked Celeborn.
No one said anything as Legolas opened the wardrobe and let Gimli out. The Dwarf fell to the ground, gasping as if he'd been trapped underwater.
"They think he's a leprechaun," said Galadriel, by way of explanation.
"Oh," said the marchwarden, slightly confused.
"We're getting out of here," said the Lady. "We'll have to make a quick, clean getaway. Back under the cloak, you go, Gimli."
As the Dwarf scurried under her cloak, the others grabbed their bags. Legolas picked up Galadriel's.
"We have to be quiet as mice," she whispered. The males nodded. They started down the hallway, and by some blessing of Eru, managed to get out of the caves alive and outside, where it was raining.
And then the hunting party mobbed them.
"Where are you going?" asked Thranduil. "If I recall, you are guests here."
"We just received urgent news of a terrible happening in Lothórien, and are needed at home," Celeborn said.
While the Elf-Lord crafted a credible story, one little Elf happened to be looking at the ground. And he just happened to see Lady Galadriel's feet. And he just happened to notice that she had four feet. His eyes widened considerably.
"Mommy!" he cried, pulling on his mother's sleeve.
"Not now, dear," she said. She brushed him off.
"But Mommy, Lady G'adriel's got four feet!"
Everyone looked at Galadriel.
She gave a nervous laugh.
Their glares became much more menacing.
She yanked Gimli out from in front of her, threw him at Celeborn and screamed, "Run!" Celeborn picked up Gimli and put the Dwarf on his shoulders, sprinting away. Legolas and Haldir were close behind, and once Galadriel had gathered up her skirts, she followed them. The other Elves gave chase, Thranduil in the lead.
But as they reached the border of the forest, someone cried out, "Look, everyone! A rainbow!"
The Elves stopped and looked to the sky. The rain had stopped, and indeed, there was a rainbow high above.
"Follow that rainbow!" shouted Thranduil. "Who needs a leprechaun's gold when you can get the pot at the end of a rainbow!" The Elves of Mirkwood then stampeded off in the direction of the rainbow's arc.
Celeborn dropped Gimli. They all stared after the hunters, mouths hanging open in shock.
"No offense, Your Majesty, but your father is insane," said Haldir.
Legolas shook his head. "I know."
"Stupid flighty Elf!" screeched Gimli, getting to his feet. He threw himself at Legolas, who landed in the mud with a loud squelching noise.
"Let's go home," Galadriel sighed. The Mirkwood Elves trudged off south, followed by Legolas' shouts as Gimli roughly yanked his braids out.
After a bit, Galadriel gave a small cry. "We left our bags! There goes my best dress!"
Celeborn looked at her. "Well, we didn't know we were going to be chased by nutcases, you know."
"No, we didn't." The Lady's shoulders slumped and she sighed again.
"How much do you think I could get for this on the black market?" asked Haldir, holding out his shamrock necklace.
"Black market?" Celeborn repeated. "You sell things on the black market?"
Haldir shrugged.
They were quite for a while, then Celeborn said, "But it was exciting."
"We almost got killed!" cried Galadriel.
"I know," grinned her husband.
"I think you're insane, too."
"Maybe," agreed Celeborn. "But you know what?"
"What?"
"I want to go again next year!"
The End
Happy St. Paddy's Day, all!
Reviewer Responses:
Here comes the hockey puck: I'm glad! Yeah, Irish music is beautiful. I didn't know you played violin! That's cool! I think you should get some, though! Thank you for reading!
Kalayna: Thanks! I'm actually thinking poor all of them...
Reasonably crazy: Wow, you're back! Thank you! (takes stars) Yay, I win! And what exactly is a snerk?
Nawyn: Thank you! I always thought Celeborn would be kind of bitter about the hairs. There's your update, and I'm glad you like it.
Elf771: Yes, I'm weird... Scottish-blooded American makes sense, don't worry! My friend and I actually argue about how to pronounce "celtic". She insists it's "keltik", but I say "seltik" and tell her it goes either way! She won't give in... Wow, you want to show it to your friends? Cool! Thank you so much!
Super Shayde: Haha's are funny! Thank you. There, longer chappie. Hope you liked it!
LadyAlariel: Ah, yes, the power of weirdness. But isn't insanity so much fun? It adds spice to life, as I always say. Thank you, and I agree about Thranduil!
Knyt3-Owl: Thanks! Don't hurt yourself! You do? I'm confused now... Yay for the Irish! And everyone else!
Jinxeh: Do you really think it was ventriloquism? (Mental note: Watch Lothlorien scene again...) I feel so bad for these guys. I torture them so much. Thanks for the review!
ak-stinger: I love slapstick comedy. And the hair thing: I think Celeborn was a bit jealous. Thank you!
Erestor: Yes, maybe it cheered him up a bit. I don't think it lasted, though. I like Thranduil, too, especially when he's not being portrayed as Evil Drunkard!Thranduil. I'm quite proud of the ventriloquism line. Glad you like this. Thank you! You don't know how much I appreciate it when I get a review from you. I get all giddy... I'm so sad. But thank you again!
Faerlas: Alas, no. This is the last of it. Tomorrow's St. Patrick's Day, so it has to end. But there's always next year! Thanks!
Silver Flame of the Pheonix: Thanks! You think I'm awesome? Wow. I appreciate it. I think the whole short-Dwarf deal is the cause of it. Thanks again!
anticipationnation: There you go, continued! Thank you for putting me on your fav. authors list!
Swordchick: Glad you did, I had fun writing it. More description? Like what? Sorry I confused you, but thanks for the review!
Thank you, everyone! Your opinions are much appreciated! Thanks for reading this, and I hope you enjoyed it!
