CRIMSON: CHRISTMAS EVE

For Christmas Eve 2002; For Jigs and Fila - Sakuya's Shinobu-aniki and Shinji-aniki respectively


The soft flecks of white snow descended lightly outside. I stare at it from my position in front of the window pane in my apartment - the slow but gradual piling up of the season's gift. The house was in darkness. Only the hall was lit with the dim glow of a single candle.

A heavy sigh rose the dust on the window pane and caused the birth of a small patch of mist on the cool glass. I trudge up the stairs back to my room with the same heaviness my heart is withholding.

I glance fleetingly at the calendar. 24 December is shown clearly - another Christmas Eve. Recalling the phone conversation I had with Dad, I hope fervently that that important board meeting of his would be adjourned. I wish he could be back home to enjoy this Christmas with me.

The phone rang shrilly. I answered. I replace the phone with jumbled feelings. Though I am sure I had been prepared for the outcome, the wild despair still tore through me. I should have known.

It is night. All the servants had left to join their families in this season of reunion and giving. I have a family too. At least, there's still Dad and me. I don't have a clear memory of Mum since she has been dead since I was young. But tonight, is the fourth Christmas Eve I have spent alone. I hate Christmas.

The stars twinkled a little. Confused eyes would wonder at the difference between falling snow and stationary stars. The foggy atmosphere triggered my urge to tear. It is cold. The gusts of frosty wind made me shiver as I open the window.

A walk through town is going to add to my sorrow. Looking at the kids with parents in tow, jabbing excitedly at shop displays, toys and candies. I would see so many families together, blissful and oblivious.

I am not better off than the orphans who crouch in the dark dirty alleys, ignored and cast aside by all. I try to offer them comfort. I would give them some money. But I don't think that is what they need. Nor what I do, too.

I dig around and found the stocking I last put up 4 years ago. Dad had insisted it stay despite my age. I complained, but secretly I could not help but feel a great sense of enthusiasm about it.

The doorbell chimes. I open the door. "Merry Christmas, Kaede." I blink to clear my vision, smiling at your brilliant crimson hair, before settling in your embrace. "Why aren't you with your family?" You cock your head to a side before grinning, "Any objections?"

Christmas is no longer so lonely for me, now that I have you by my side, Hanamichi.