Series: Snapshots of the Past
Story: Back Home Again
Chapter 5
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Previously: A chauvinistic medical resident targeted Abbey on her first day of her medicine rotation. Elizabeth began kindergarten
Summary: Abbey refuses to open up to Jed. Jed looks for some bonding time with Lizzie
- - -
The sheets shifted and tangled around him with Jed's every twist and turn. He looked at her lying next to him. After a night of fidgeting and tossing around the bed, Abbey had finally fallen asleep. And now she was cold. He knew she was cold because when her temperature was low, her entire body radiated heat, warming the bed and extending to his skin.
Beads of sweat moisturized his bare chest, waking him from a sound sleep. He extended his arm and touched her shoulder with the tips of his fingers barely nudging her. When she didn't move, he crept over and nuzzled his head to her chest. A smile dominated his face with every beat of her heart as he rolled back to his side of the bed and tugged on the comforter to firmly cover her exposed skin.
She hid the fact that she was awake, but when he swept her bangs to the side of her forehead, she tilted her head back ever so slightly.
"Abbey?"
In her desperation to avoid a conversation about her restlessness, she laid completely still, convincing him she was asleep. He swung his legs to the side and climbed out of bed, grabbing his robe on the way to the bathroom. Her eyes popped open with the sound of running water.
Unfortunately, this had been an all-too-familiar routine ever since she began her medicine rotation three weeks ago. Jed was still unaware of the trouble she was having with her resident doctor and instead of clueing him in on the struggle each day presented, Abbey kept her insecurities hidden, allowing them to take root in her soul.
She buried herself under the covers until he reemerged with a towel wrapped around his waist. She addressed him with a soft hello as he took a seat on the edge of the bed.
"I was wondering when you'd wake up." Her face showed no emotion in response. "I noticed you had trouble sleeping last night. Do you want to talk about it?"
She shook her head at his sweet offer. "No."
He expected that. She was the one who usually encouraged conversation, but lately, she was distant and quiet. Because he assumed the strains of her schedule were taking a physical toll, he respected her wishes and tried not to push her.
"Okay." He surrendered without argument. "I'm going to get dressed then wake Lizzie."
He patted her once on the side and walked away as she rolled herself up in the sheets and slowly began the excruciating task of getting up and mentally preparing herself for another day at the hospital. The irony of the situation didn't escape her. Something she cared so much about, something she dreamed about doing was now nothing more than an "excruciating task" met with bitterness and apprehension, all because of a man she was forced to face every single day.
She climbed out of bed and sighed sadly as she took a brush to the tangles that dominated her copper strands of hair. The laughter in the next room reminded her that Lizzie was up and it was time to wash away her depressed face and reappear with a more cheerful disposition, an act she had become pretty accustomed to performing in the past few weeks.
- - -
Elizabeth sat on the counter watching her mother intently, waiting for her turn. Abbey handed her the breakfast plate she had just washed and winked at her as Liz began drying it with a small towel.
She smiled in response to her mother's wink, thinking it was just the right time to take advantage of the loving moment. "Can I have a cookie?"
It was a good try, but it wasn't quite good enough. "Not in the morning."
Lizzie bit down on her lower lip and shifted her eyes in thought. "Daddy let me have one yesterday and it helped me pay attention in school."
Jed put his newspaper on the table and looked up when he heard the incriminating statement while Abbey tilted her head to force the young girl to meet her gaze so she could search her eyes for the truth.
"Lizzie," she said sternly.
"He did," the five-year-old insisted, her blue eyes piercing into Abbey's.
The fact that Liz could look her right in the eye and stay true to her fib was a bit troublesome for Abbey. "Jed?"
Liz returned Jed's stare with a look of vulnerability she had perfected. She learned early that look was the best way to her father's heart.
"Lizzie, why are you trying to fool your mother?" he replied lightheartedly, trying to take away some of the tension he knew was brewing.
Liz giggled in response, but one glimpse at her mother's serious expression immediately ended the jovial mood.
"Why did you lie to me?" Abbey asked. Liz shrugged. "Okay, then maybe you can figure it out after school. Jed, no television for Liz tonight."
"Noooo!" Lizzie whined.
"Stop it. I've talked to you about this before. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's lying. I don't want you lying to me, ever."
"I won't anymore. I promise."
"Good. In the meantime, no Brady Bunch tonight."
The comedy show and its cartoon counterpart The Brady Kids had quickly become Elizabeth's favorite. She had yet to miss a single episode of either one since they moved to the States and she was visibly angry that she would be forced to now.
"How about a compromise?" Jed offered. "Liz can watch The Brady Bunch tonight, but nothing else."
Liz nodded at her father and turned her attention back to Abbey.
"Jed."
He hoisted Liz up into the air to offset any tears, then lowered her to the ground. "Why don't you go brush your teeth and get ready." Heeding her father's advice, she left the kitchen while Jed turned towards his wife.
"Why do you contradict me in front of her?"
"I wasn't contradicting you. I was offering a compromise."
"I'm not going to negotiate with her."
"Abbey, it's obvious that you're upset about something and it has nothing to do with what happened here this morning. Tell me what's wrong."
She could tell him. She could tell him and end this whole thing right now. She knew Jed would beat down Kyle's door and confront him immediately. But that was why she hadn't told him. Having her husband ride in on his white horse would pretty much negate the independent persona she was desperately trying to convey.
"What's wrong is that I don't like being made out to be the bad guy while you try to please our daughter."
"You're not the bad guy. I know that."
"Does she? I just don't think we should let her slide every time she uses these little tricks to get her way."
"That's all that's bothering you. You don't like it when she lies."
"I don't like it when she lies," she repeated. "And she's been lying a lot lately."
"So have you. You're lying to me right now." The look of exasperation that swept over her features caused him to backtrack in hopes of avoiding an argument. "Okay, look, I shouldn't have said that. I'm just worried about you. I feel like there's something else going on with you and I just want to help."
Abbey took in his sincere words and lightened her mood. "Thank you, but I'm fine. Now, can I count on you to keep Lizzie away from the TV if I'm late again tonight?"
"Of course."
"I'm going to say goodbye to her." She kissed his cheek on her way out the kitchen.
Telling Jed wasn't an option, but Abbey wasn't completely alone. There was one person she could turn to -- someone who knew where she was coming from and where she was headed, someone who had been down this very path not too long ago.
As Millie pulled out her chair in the hospital cafeteria, she took note of Abbey's tray. It was practically empty, except for a small carton of milk and a handful of graham crackers. No fruits, no veggies, no real food whatsoever. If her despondent posture wasn't enough to give her away, that certainly was.
Millie didn't have to drag it out of her. Abbey volunteered the information in her search for advice and guidance. "The same thing must have happened to you," she said to her friend, expecting an empathetic response.
"It did. I think it happens to a lot of women. Unfortunately, the way the system is set up, it makes it easy for some of these men to cut us down all in the name of helping us succeed through med school."
"No wonder there aren't many women who make it all the way through."
"We're the exception, Abbey. Not the rule." Abbey snapped her cracker in half, allowing the crumbs to fall onto her tray without a second thought. It didn't go unnoticed that the cookies never actually made it to her mouth. "What does Jed say?" Observing the lack of reply, Millie realized the scope of her friend's problem. "You haven't told him, have you?"
"I can't. Not yet. I just want to prove to myself that I can do this - by myself - without the help of any man, including my husband."
"He's not just a man, Abbey. He's your partner. Let him help you."
"Jed's idea of help will be to confront Dr. Nelson. I don't want that. Besides, my general medicine rotation will be over in five weeks. I may never have to see him again."
"It's not that easy. You have two more gen med rotations and a lot of opportunities for run-ins with him. And don't forget, he is partly responsible for your grade." She trailed off in reaction to the sound of her beeper. "It's the sitter. Chloe must be fussy again today. Do yourself a favor and don't have any more kids until after you're completely finished with school."
A few breaths of laughter escaped Abbey's lips at the warning. As she watched Millie at the nearby payphone, she resigned herself to the fact that she was in a no-win situation as far as impressing Kyle Nelson. Instead, she had to be responsible for her own educational success by committing the countless hours of study it would take to pass her medicine boards with flying colors and hope that when her family medicine rotation began in November, Kyle would be a distant memory.
- - -
Back at home, Jed had a challenging night of his own trying to outfox his five-year-old daughter's manipulative attempts at watching television. Elizabeth tried the sweet approach. She drew him a picture of the two of them holding hands while swinging on the swings at the park. It didn't work. She tried the sad approach. Furrowed eyebrows enhanced by narrow tearless eyes with a deep hoarseness in her voice didn't convince him.
But despite her well-orchestrated facades, the image of her moping around the kitchen bored and restless is what melted his heart.
"If you hop up here and help me dry these dishes, I'll play Candyland with you."
"I don't wanna play Candyland! I wanna watch TV!"
"Do you want to help me anyway?"
She nodded sadly. He lifted her up and sat her on the countertop, handing her a dry towel and a wet plate.
"Can't I watch? Please?" It was more of a pouting whine than an actual question.
"I'm sorry."
"I won't tell her that you let me."
He smirked at her tenacity, but didn't relent. "Nope."
Jed's head snapped back at the sound of a plate shattering as it hit the hard kitchen floor. He had barely noticed her loosen her grip on it just before it went crashing down. "Elizabeth, you did that on purpose."
She folded her arms in front of her and looked down, unwilling to meet his stare. He felt his temper rise, but fought it back with every irritated breath. No matter how many times he tried to convince himself that it was okay to be upset with his daughter, the fear that he harbored since early adulthood -- a fear that his own children would despise him much like he despised his father -- prevented him from ever acting as the disciplinarian.
It was easy with Liz. He was so taken by her angelic face that her rebellious outburst didn't phase him for long. He bent down in front of her to allow her a piggyback ride to the sofa. He handed her a jacket and her shoes and socks to keep her occupied while he returned to sweep up the broken glass.
After he cleaned up the kitchen, Jed took her hand and led her outside. Her boredom quickly vanished as they felt the crisp Boston air and took in the smell of homestyle barbecue that lingered in the neighborhood. Their twenty-minute walk came to an end at a convenience store bordering the Muddy River, a stream whose rapid water empties into several ponds and brooks as it separates the city of Boston from the town of Brookline.
He handed Liz a scoop of chocolate ice cream in a plastic, circular container. He grabbed one for himself and a stack of napkins before heading out of the store. He didn't allow her to eat her ice cream until they reached their destination -- a pedestrian bridge overlooking the water. With his help, Liz sat behind the railing, her legs dangling over the edge. Jed sat down next to her and gave her a small wooden spoon after unsealing her dessert.
Father and daughter stared at the sparkling waterway, electrified by the reflection of Boston's dazzling city lights.
"It's so pretty." Her eyes were wide with excitement at the rushing water.
"Yes, it is. All that water leads right into the Charles River."
And so began a Friday night tradition as well as a geography lesson Liz was all too eager to learn.
- - -
"How did it go with Lizzie tonight?" Abbey asked him as they prepared for bed later that evening
"I took her out for ice cream."
"Jed..." she started gently.
"Abbey, she was upset. It cheered her up. We got to really sit and talk and I'd like to do it again next week, with your blessing."
"Just make her eat a healthy dinner first, okay?"
"Of course." He smiled at her as he slid under the sheets and rolled to his side, lifting her head to place passionate kisses on her lips. He paused when she pulled back. "What is it?"
"Nothing. I'm just tired."
"You know, I'm not the med student here, but I think if we want another baby, we're going to have to actually...you know, make love." She rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. "Abbey, we haven't done anything in three weeks. What's going on? Is it me? Was I too rough with you last time?"
Her guilt seeped out of her at the mere notion that he could think she was intentionally avoiding him. "No, of course not, Jed. You were perfect. You're always perfect."
"Then what?"
"I'm just tired. I come home from the hospital every night and I still have to study for the boards. At the end of the day, all I want to do is sleep." He nodded in resignation. "Once this rotation is over, things will get better. I promise."
"Can I hold you?"
She inched herself closer to him, encouraging him to slide his arm under her waist so she could relax her head on his chest. He was hoping for intimacy, but this was enough for now. He kissed the top of her hair and said a quick prayer before falling asleep.
TBC
