NOTES: Another idea that wouldn't leave me alone until I typed it up. It's an elaborate excuse for some McWeir fluff, so please don't mind the downy texture. I have a feeling this one will only have a 24-hour shelf-life until the airing of Siege, part one, but I don't care. It's another one-shot, but it's my first story from Weir's perspective. Yay! Thank you, PurpleYin, for betaing this!
DISCLAIMER: Stargate: Atlantis and all things associated with it belong to other people.
SPOILERS: everything through the Gift
RATING: PG-13
THE ANSWER
"Dr. McKay, are you there?" Dr. Elizabeth Weir received no answer to her attempt at contacting her Chief of Science over the radio. "Rodney, please respond."
Elizabeth had been trying on and off for the better part of an hour. Maybe his earpiece was broken? With the Wraith less than two weeks away, she knew that Rodney was working around the clock in an attempt to figure out a way to save them and Atlantis. Perhaps fatigue had finally gotten the better of him and he'd gone to bed? The ache in her shoulders told her it was time for a break anyway, so she decided to find him.
Dropping by other labs en route to see how her people were faring, Elizabeth found some rooms were all but empty, their contents packed for the evacuation that might never happen. Still, many of the scientists seemed cheered by her visit and her show of concern for their work and well-being. When she asked about Rodney, those who thought they'd seen him said he was in his lab, but when she arrived, it appeared he wasn't there. Then she spotted a bit of blue on the floor behind his cluttered central table. Moving around it, she found Rodney sprawled on the floor. Her heart leapt to her throat as one hand reached automatically to her earpiece.
"I need a medical team with a stretcher in Dr. McKay's lab immediately."
"What's happened?" Dr. Carson Beckett's concern came through clearly over the comm.
"I don't know." Elizabeth knelt beside Rodney, one hand resting on his chest, the other reaching for his neck. "He's breathing, and his pulse seems normal. But he's unconscious on the floor."
"I warned him it would catch up with him." The Scotsman's voice held resignation. "I'll be there shortly."
Rodney's eyes fluttered open. There were dark circles under them that diminished their blue sparkle. Sure, she was used to him letting himself go a bit when he was engrossed in a project, but he really needed a shave.
"Rodney, are you all right?" She tried to keep the shock of finding him like that out of her voice.
He turned his head to look at her but didn't seem to focus on her face quite right. "Elizabeth, there you are."
"Can you sit up?" She put an arm behind him to help him do so.
He put an arm around her, and together they got him to sit. "I've been looking for you everywhere." He seemed very earnest about it.
"From the floor?" she teased.
Rodney smiled. It wasn't his sarcastic grin nor his smug smirk; he seemed sincerely pleased. "I've found the answer I was looking for."
"To what?"
"Yes, the answer all our problems." His eyes were not quite right; their gaze seemed off center. "I've been trying to find you so I could tell you."
With his free hand, he reached up to her face, drawing her closer. Before she realized what was happening, his lips were on hers. It was a soft, sweet kiss with a comfortable familiarity that made it seem as though it was the most natural thing in the world. His stubble prickled her chin. Just as her surprise began to fade into longing, the tender moment ended.
He pulled back and beamed at her. "Now everything will be all right." Then he went limp, dragging her with him back to the floor. She barely managed to cushion his head, bruising her knuckles for her effort.
An undeniable impulse kept her from extricating herself immediately from his arms. It was so warm in his embrace, and the steady beat of his heart was somehow reassuring, a tangible reminder of the humanity they all shared. She recalled the time they'd huddled together at the grounding station, trying to stay warm despite the storm and the chilling possibility they might both soon be murdered. He was always so warm. He radiated heat like a physical manifestation of his almost boundless energy. Whenever he came up behind her, she always knew it was him because she could feel his warmth.
But it would be awkward to be found like that. With a bit of regret, Elizabeth pulled herself loose but remained by his side on the floor, leaving a hand on his chest to continue feeling his heartbeat. With a snort, he shifted position slightly, one hand reaching up to clasp hers, yet he did not wake. His face was so open and unguarded in his sleep; she couldn't help but smile at the big grin he was wearing. What had he meant when he'd said he'd found the answer? Considering how glazed his eyes had been, he must have been asleep. But if the answer was a kiss, then what was the question?
Carson and a pair of medics finally arrived. They checked Rodney and put him on a stretcher. Elizabeth followed them to the infirmary, waiting to make sure Rodney was tended to before having Carson look at her hand.
"Dehydration, low blood sugar, fatigue," grumbled the MD, "Rodney's going to kill himself before the Wraith get the chance."
"Still," said Elizabeth, "it could have been worse."
"Aye, he could have given himself a concussion when he passed out." Carson lifted the ice pack off Elizabeth's hand and began examining her knuckles. "Though I suppose we have you to thank for that. It's how you managed this, isn't it?"
"Yes. He sat up, rambled, and passed out again." Elizabeth shrugged, seeing no need to explain what had happened in detail. "So, Rodney's going to be okay?"
"If he'd listen to to the wisdom of his physician, he wouldn't be in this condition in the first place," insisted the Scotsman.
"But he's going to be okay?"
"I've given him a sedative to keep him under until morning." He began wrapping her knuckles in a medicated gauze. "One night's rest isn't enough to get him back to normal, but it's a good start."
"You can lead a horse to water..." Elizabeth sighed in empathy.
"I'm not sure it's horses I'd be comparing Rodney to on that account," chuckled Carson. "It was kind of you to stay with him like that."
Elizabeth was surprised to feel a bit of heat rise to her cheeks. "I was there, so..."
Carson finished wrapping her knuckles. "He sure had quite the hold of your hand."
"Yes, he did," she smiled. "Makes me wonder why he needs to hold someone's hand."
"Don't we all right now?"
She nodded. "I suppose, but he was so...resolute."
"If you asked him, I'm sure he'd tell you," Carson confided.
"I don't think it would be appropriate for me to..."
"And who would it be appropriate for?"
Elizabeth raised an eyebrow in surprise at the MD's admonishing tone.
"We could be stuck here for the rest of our lives," continued Carson, frustration lacing his words. "We could be dead in a fortnight. Do you plan to always keep everyone at arm's length for propriety's sake? Can you?"
With a sigh, he took her hands in his, as though to be sure she couldn't escape what he had to say. "I was raised sure in knowledge I was loved. I've come to realize that wasn't the case for Rodney. I'm no psychiatrist, but surely you'll agree that cannot be healthy. He's always letting slip these wistful little comments about finding someone... You know Rodney as well as anyone...better even. If you have any feelings for the man, and we can never go back, what difference does it make whether you let him know now instead of a year from now? If we're all to die before the end of the month, why wait? Why waste the chance for even a moment of happiness? Besides," he let go of her hands with to lean back in his chair, "from what your other self said and our own experiences, we already know he'll work himself to death for us. Maybe he'd do a better job and take better care of himself if he knew someone really cared about him and not just what he can do."
It took a moment before Elizabeth could be sure of her voice. "I thought doctors were supposed to maintain a professional detachment from their patients."
"Rubbish." Carson waved the thought away. "If you've ever had physicians who were involved with their patients, I'd hazard you'd go back to them rather than some professionally detached doctor." Gesturing toward his door, he concluded, "Now off with you. Rodney's not the only one who could stand to catch up on their sleep."
Elizabeth left the infirmary to find it was already past nightfall. After a quick check on her office and the control room, she grabbed a bite to eat and headed for bed. She's been getting to bed so late recently that sleep didn't come easily to her. Carson had given her a lot to consider. Thoughts of Rodney kept running through her head. They'd been through so much together. She couldn't deceive herself into believing her concern for the astrophysicist was purely professional, but personal concern and romantic interest were two different things. Could she have a closer relationship with Rodney without him interpreting it as romantic? And how certain was she he had any special feelings for her? She couldn't help but reconsider the glimpses he'd given her of the depths beneath his callous exterior, all the little examples of his putting her needs before his own as though it was natural for him to consider her first. But she'd only just let go of Simon. Was she capable of doing this right now?
When at last she fell asleep, she was not haunted by the nightmares of the Wraith that had been plaguing her dreams for weeks.
The next morning, Elizabeth headed to the infirmary to check on Rodney's progress. Along the way, she received concerned questions from several scientists she passed in the halls, some worried about their projects, others for their Chief's health. It made her wonder what Rodney would make of their personal concern.
"Good morning, Dr. Weir." Carson greeted her as she entered his all but empty ward.
"Good morning." She said the words and actually meant them for the first time in days. A good night's rest really could make a difference. "And how's our patient?"
"Still sleeping, thank goodness."
"Then I shouldn't disturb him." Elizabeth turned to go.
"Nonsense." Carson put his hand on her shoulder and all but shoved her in the direction of the curtained-off medical bed at the end of the room. "He should be coming around any time, now."
"Are you sure?" After what had happened the last time, she was a bit hesitant about being alone with Rodney.
"I'm sure any man would like to wake up to the face of a lovely lassie, and Rodney's no exception." The Scotsman beamed at her. "Even if you're still uncertain about things, why not give the poor lad a thrill?"
Shortly Elizabeth found herself seated next to Rodney, the sound of Carson's footsteps receding behind the privacy curtain. The back of the bed was tilted up, so Rodney was reclined at an angle, his head lolling to one side. Unshaven, with shadows staining the skin beneath his eyes, wires sprouting from beneath his medical gown and an anxious frown across his brow, he looked rather pitiful. The sight of it caused a small ache inside of her, and she didn't bother resisting the urge to rest her hand on his chest. Some fundamental part of her wanted to feel the beat of his heart again. It soothed her.
He sighed in his sleep. His frown faded as a smile spread across his lips. One of his hands reached up to hold hers, just as it had the day before, only this time, his arm trailed an I.V.
She touched the side of his face, wondering what his skin would feel like when it was freshly shaved. With a little grunt of pleasure, he stirred beneath her fingers.
"Elizabeth." His open, smiling expression slowly transformed into one of uncertainty.
"Good morning, Rodney," she straightened and smiled.
He looked around, apparently surprised at his surroundings. "What happened?"
"That's what I'd like to know." It was difficult being stern with him after having just watched him in his sleep, but if he wasn't going to take care of himself... "What was the last thing you remember?"
"I was running a simulation in my lab."
"And when was that?"
"Early afternoon."
"And when was the last time you ate?"
He had to consider this. "I had breakfast, then a Power Bar at some point. Did you know we're out of the chocolate peanut butter ones?"
"And when was the last time you slept?"
"Just now," he laughed sheepishly.
She raised her free hand to her temple. "Rodney..."
His gaze moved from her eyes to her hand. "Elizabeth, what happened to your knuckles?"
She'd all but forgotten her bruises. "Gravity and I had a disagreement about what your head should be doing."
Rodney blinked at her in confusion.
"I found you out cold in your lab," she explained. "Then you sat up, rambled about having figured out the answer to all our problems and passed out again."
He looked stricken. "That's because of me?"
"It's a side effect of your not taking better care of yourself, yes. Considering the kinds of things you work on, I can't help but worry something much worse might happen with you conducting experiments while you're half awake. I know you have a lot on your shoulders right now, but running yourself into the ground isn't going to help. It's irresponsible and negligent."
It had come out more heatedly than she'd intended, and he gaped at her in shock. To soften the blow, she flexed her hand to show him it was working fine. "It looks worse than it feels."
Finally he regained his voice. "Elizabeth, I'm..."
She held up her hand to cut him off. "Be sorry you let yourself get into such a state in the first place, but don't be sorry that someone was there to help you when you needed it."
Glancing away from her guiltily, he apparently become aware of her hand on his chest. "I seem to be holding your hand." His fingers twitched over hers, as though he were afraid.
"Yes." She stroked his chest with her thumb.
Rodney gave her a startled expression. "You don't mind?"
"You seemed to need it," she smiled. "You did the same thing yesterday."
"I did?"
There was a hint of envy in his voice. Elizabeth wondered if you could be jealous of yourself. Of course, the implications of his being jealous of such a thing were obvious to her. Yet was he even aware of the tone he'd just used?
"You did, but that was after you passed out again."
"You said I'd figured out how to solve all our problems?"
"You don't remember?"
"I wish I did." He shook his head in frustration. "What else did I say?"
"Well, first you said you'd been looking for me. Then you said you'd found the answer. Then you..."
"Then I what?" Rodney seemed unaware that he squeezed her hand in his determination. "If it's something we can really use, you need to tell me what it was if I'm going to have any chance at remembering. It may have sounded like nonsense, but if I was onto something, it might give me some clue. What did I say?"
"It's not so much that you said something as you did something..." Involuntarily, her gaze gravitated to his lips.
"What did I do?" He seemed so desperate to find out, needy for the tiniest morsel of knowledge that might lead him to their salvation. If only he knew.
Elizabeth hesitated for a moment, considering Carson's words and her own feelings before making her decision. She could feel Rodney's pulse race beneath her fingers as she leaned closer and covered his lips with her own.
At first, there was no response, but it was only a matter of heartbeats before he began to kiss her back. His mouth gradually changed from clumsy and uncertain to confident and ardent. She felt his free hand caress her cheek then trail to the back of her head to hold her close as he leaned forward, deepening the kiss. By then, her pulse had matched his. The passion and intensity was nothing like what she'd experienced the day before.
At last, he pulled away from her, gasping, his cheeks flushed beneath his stubble.
"Rodney, are you all right?" She patted his back with her free hand.
"I...just..." His expression was a comical combination of exaltation and embarrassment.
"Forgot to breathe?" She chuckled.
He nodded.
Elizabeth hadn't kissed someone breathless since she was a teenager. The thought of it pleased her.
"You kissed me," he said, after finally catching his breath.
"Yes."
"On the lips." His expression was one of awe.
"Yes. So do you remember?"
"I'm not about to forget!"
"The answer!"
"Answer?" He blinked at her, perplexed.
"To all of our problems."
"What does that have to do..."
"When you kissed me-"
"You kissed me," insisted Rodney.
"Before-"
"I've never kissed you before." His tone was deadly serious. "I would hardly forget such a thing, Elizabeth."
"But you did," she corrected, "just yesterday. I figured you were asleep when it happened-"
"I kissed you in my sleep?" He looked cheated.
"So it would seem. You said you'd been trying to find me to tell me. Then you..." She waved back and forth between them with her bruised hand.
"I kissed you?"
"You kissed me." She nodded. "Then you said, 'now everything will be all right' and passed out. I was hoping our little reenactment might jar your memory."
"Wait..." His eyes went wide. "The only reason you kissed me just now was because you thought it might help me remember the answer?" Rodney was plainly wounded by the prospect.
Elizabeth couldn't help but laugh. "That's not the only reason."
"It's not?" There was a tremulous hope in his voice.
"I admit," she answered, trying to sound nonchalant, "I was curious about how different it would be to kiss you when you were awake."
"You were?" His eyes lit up. "And..."
"Oh, it was quite different," she assured him, her tone implying she preferred their first kiss.
"Really?" Clearly he was crestfallen.
"Perhaps this last one was too different to help you remember and we should give it another try."
"Really?" His eyes lit up again.
"Really." She leaned in for another taste of him, and he obliged her with enthusiasm. "Shh," she murmured, "gently." Her fingers soothed his chin, taming his eager lips, while beneath her other hand the rhythm of his heart remained much closer to normal. They lingered over the slow kiss until Elizabeth was fully satisfied, until it felt like the most natural thing in the world for them to be doing. Everything else might come crashing down around their ears in a matter of days, but for this moment she was content. She had found the answer to an essential question she had never considered asking.
But they couldn't stay that way forever; they both had too many demands on their time. She pulled away, whispering, "You're not alone, Rodney." His gaze was so intent, so reverent, it almost hurt to see it. How long had he waited for someone to say those words to him?
Smiling, she touched his cheek, and he closed his eyes in response. "Elizabeth..." he began, but she covered his lips with her fingers, silencing him.
"I've got to get back to work, Rodney." She stood, and he reluctantly released her hand, the one he'd held clasped to his chest the whole time. "You have a lot of people worried. So do what Carson tells you, or you'll be stuck in here even longer."
With a blink and a grin, the intensity in Rodney's eyes diminished. "The bedside manners of this place have improved. Maybe I'll stay a while." He almost sounded like his usual self.
"Either way, I expect to see you for lunch."
Without regret, she left him to return to the rest of the world. She was almost to the infirmary door when she heard a footstep behind her.
"So, Dr. Weir," Carson's cheerful voice caused Elizabeth to turn around so she could face the doctor as he leaned against the frame of his office door. "I trust Rodney's awake and ready for a sensible breakfast?"
"Yes, he is." She could just hear a telltale beeping of a monitor in the Scotsman's office, and from it's cadence, she knew it was Rodney's heartbeat
The MD gave her a shrewd look, though his voice remained innocent. "Would you mind telling me what got his pulse going like a hare's a few minutes ago?"
"Yes, I would." Elizabeth smiled as she turned to leave, her spirit lighter than it had been in days. "Take good care of him, doctor."
"I only ask that you do the same."
