Chapter 1
Mysterious Guest in Bed
"Hello Harry!" said a young girl who had just apparated into Harry's bed.
"Bloody hell! Who in the name of Fred's polka dot knickers are you?!" he replied, hiding under the covers.
"Hold on a second," the girl said. She disappeared for a moment, and then popped back into his bed. "Silenco!" she said, waving her finger at the curtains. "There. Now you can talk aboot Fred's polka dot knickers all you want, without waking up your beautiful roommates."
"Why did you leave? Wait, first, WHO ARE YOU?" he yelled.
"I'm Claire, of course. Who else do you think has the power to appear in your bed at," she checked her watch, "exactly 12:00am?!"
"Um, sorry, but the name 'Claire' doesn't really clue me in."
"Oh. I'm a muggle."
"Then…how…what?!"
"Well, I'm a muggle writer, so that gives me more power. And since I am a relatively good muggle writer, I speak with perfect grammar and never say anything out of character." Claire lifted up his covers. "Do you mind if I join you? I'm a little chilly."
"Err…sure," said Harry, realizing he couldn't really disagree, seeing how she was already in the covers with him.
"You don't sleep in the nuddy-pants, do you?" she asked, worriedly.
"No, that's Ron," he replied, blushing.
"Then why are you blushing?" inquired Claire.
"Well, I'm lying in my bed with another girl underneath the covers beside me, and I haven't known you for more than a minute. And I'm in my boxers. It's just a little strange."
"You've actually known me for," she looked at her watch again, "two minutes, thirty eight seconds. Wait, make it forty!" She counted off the seconds.
"All right, I see your point!" said Harry, becoming annoyed.
"Someone has their knickers in a twist!" she said, one eyebrow raised.
"I'm tired, and I have classes tomorrow!!! Why are you here? What's going on?" Harry whined.
"Hush…" Claire tried to soothe him, stroking his forehead with her hand.
"Ah! Stop touching me!" he yelped, almost falling out of his bed.
"Okay, actually, I have a quest," she said, becoming business-like.
"Fine! Would you get it over with and LEAVE?!"
"Ouch. That hurts. You want me to leave?!" she said, a big tear rolling down her cheek. "Oh my dog! How cool! I can make myself cry!"
"I'm sure you'd be a wonderful person to hang out with…under DIFFERENT circumstances!"
"Well, don't fall in love with me," she said, seriously.
"What?!"
"I am extremely sexy and funny. It's hard to resist me," she replied, shrugging.
"And you're very modest," said Harry, rolling his eyes.
"Okay! No more compliments. We need to get down to business," she said, rolling up her sleeves.
"You were talking about your quest."
"I left for a moment to see what Dean looks like."
"That was your quest?!"
"No! I was answering your question about why I left!"
"When did I ask that?!"
"Way early. I just kind of…forgot about it. But that's why I left for a moment. I didn't know what Dean really looked like. I thought he'd be rather dashing, though."
"Was he?" asked Harry, interested.
"Yah. He was rather hott."
"Do you think…I'm hott?"
"Mmm…if you'd get groovy nerd glasses like mine, and wore a kilt, you'd be on your way to hott-ness. But that's not the point!!! I get sidetracked so easily. We need to discuss my quest!"
"Well?! What is it then?!" asked Harry, growing impatient.
"To hook you and Gin up. Oh, and Ron and Hermione, but that really doesn't concern you, now does it?"
"ME AND GIN?!" exclaimed Harry. "RON AND HERMIONE?!"
"Yep. You all are destined for each other. Well, you and Gin. Then Ron and Hermione. You four aren't destined for each other. Then you would be right on your way to an orgy, and you guys aren't orgy material. Sorry." Harry stared at her, blank-faced.
"I know I'm exotically beautiful, but no staring!"
"That's not why I'm staring," mumbled Harry.
"That's what they all say," replied Claire. "So, first I need to give you some lessons on how to get Ginny…"
"What if I don't want Ginny?" Claire just laughed.
"You, not wanting Ginny…that's funny!"
"Why is it so funny?! I am supposed to like Cho!"
"Come on, m'dear, in all your wildest fantasies, does the girl have red hair, or black hair?"
"Red…" admitted Harry, sheepishly.
"Does she have freckles?"
"Yes…"
"Is she a year younger?"
"Yes…"
"What ethnicity is she?"
"Okay, okay!!! You win!"
Claire smirked. "Of course I win, silly!"
"You don't have to be so smug about it," Harry complained.
"BACK TO MY QUEST!" Claire yelled, making Harry jump.
"Please…don't do that again," said Harry, shaking.
"Fine. I just wanted your attention, since you wander so easily." Harry didn't understand, but he let it go.
"Back to Ginny?" he quietly asked.
"Okies. So, you and Gin. My homework assignment for you is to think of a really romantic way to ask her out. I will report back to you at the same time, the same place."
"Homework!" Harry groaned.
"Awww, poor wittle Harry has to do some work!" Harry ignored her taunts.
"Do we really have to meet in my bed again?"
"Yes. It's comfy and warm. Plus, you're cute in your boxers!" Claire giggled, then POOF! She was gone. Harry stared at the curtains surrounding his bed for a moment, then fell back on his pillows and went to bed.
