Series: Snapshots of the Past

Story: Back Home Again

Chapter 18

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Previously: Jed forgave Abbey for keeping Liz and John's meeting a secret; Abbey saw the evidence of Jed's physical confrontation with John

Summary: Amy helps Abbey get a successful start on her new rotation; Jed has one more hurdle to overcome with his daughter

AN: Thanks to our medical school consultant, Daphy!

Receiving a degree from Harvard Medical School is a feat only attempted by those who truly have the talent and intelligence to persevere in the cutthroat world of med school. The dedication to the task at hand and the relentless strive towards an ambitious goal is what separates those who succeed from those who fail. It isn't a fate destined to prevail based solely on book smarts and high test scores. It's about having that competitive edge to stand out among the sea of qualified aspiring physicians in order to eventually earn the coveted title "M.D."

Her new rotation beginning in just a few days, Abbey prepared herself to demonstrate those very qualities. But like a soldier in training, she also sought more powerful weapons to win the war she knew was coming. She had been assigned to the supervision of Dr. Kyle Nelson once again, and this time, she was equipped for the battles that threatened to obstruct her path to graduation.

Their previous encounters left her depressed, disillusioned, and completely disengaged with the science of medicine. But now, thanks to Jed's support and reassurance, she was armed with immeasurable determination and a steely motivation that would cause the good doctor's ego to crumple.

And, of course, she had the help of her friend, Nurse Amy Lowell.

It's an intriguing relationship that sometimes develops between nurses and med school students. In some cases, it's the result of basic professional camaraderie that leads to a bond of friendship. In other cases, nurses who get stung as the result of a doctor's poor bedside manner on a daily basis reach out to the struggling student who might be going through the same. In Abbey and Amy's case, it was the latter.

The hallowed hospital corridors harbored no nurse with a deeper hatred towards Kyle. His smug condescension had probed her easygoing disposition the minute he began his residency. She hadn't seen such mutual disgust towards one person until she met Abbey.

Both tethered to a small measure of civility out of fear of losing their jobs, they became a sounding board for the other's frustration and a cheerleader for the other's triumphs. But this time, the road to victory would come at a cost for Dr. Nelson.

Thumbing through patient reports, Amy focused her attention on one particular file. "I'll give you a little tip," she offered Abbey.

"What's that?"

"There's a guy named Bruce Caldwell. He's in room 217. It's the fourth time he's been brought in since Thanksgiving. A slew of ambiguous symptoms and no diagnosis yet."

"What kind of symptoms?"

"You'll have to look it up, but from what I gather, arthritis is the main complaint. They're trying to find the underlying cause. I overheard the attending mention letting the students take a gander at this one, so you might want to get a jump-start on your first assignment."

Nothing could stir Abbey's fascination with the diagnostic process more than two simple little words: "ambiguous symptoms." She thanked Amy, then gathered her files and held them in front of her as she walked towards the exit.

Round two would start shortly.

Meanwhile, on the homefront, Jed was finding it increasingly difficult to evade the irresistible charms of his angelic daughter. Eliizabeth had done just what Abbey suspected she would do to lure her father to surrender and allow her to attend Mandy's party.

With crayons in their hands, they sat side-by-side at the kitchen table and colored one of Liz's many Barbie coloring books. Ironically, Jed's artistic abilities were quickly overshadowed by those of his young girl's. Her keen perception for adding the right hues to brighten up the page made his own images pale in comparison.

Of course, Liz took notice of it too. "Don't use brown for the hair, Daddy. She's blonde," she told him.

"Why blonde?"

"Because all my Barbies are blonde. That's why they're so pretty."

"I happen to think brunettes are even prettier."

Liz turned her head slightly to flash him a warm smile. "But I like blonde. Please color with yellow?"

For a brief moment, father and daughter switched roles as Jed set his crayon down and whined, "I don't want to color anymore."

That afternoon, Liz lounged on the sofa with Jed sitting on the floor next to her, precariously holding her fingers in his hand while he tinted her nails with light pink polish. Abbey had taught him how to paint her nails in London and it was a lesson that stayed with him thanks to his daughter's interest in always mimicking her mother's grooming techniques. As each nail was completed, she pulled away from him to admire the shine, reminding him of Abbey.

A full day of father/daughter bonding gave a boost to Liz's confidence and convinced her that success was only one drawing away. She was close. His eyes teared up at the sweet picture she drew of the two of them walking on the pedestrian bridge overlooking the Muddy River. He embraced her creativity with a hug and a kiss, but he didn't relent.

It was time for her next plan. Her small hands dug into his flesh when she attempted to massage his shoulders the way her mother did. He closed his eyes and savored the feeling for just a moment before her rough kneading caused him to jerk away. Regretful about his response, he assured her that she did such a great job that his muscles were finally relaxed.

But, again, he didn't succumb to her manipulation.

Jed noticed frustration eating away at Liz as her imaginative mind struggled with the inability to accept defeat. He stifled his desire to let her win, reminding himself that it was his earlier restraint that led to her increasing disobedience.

That evening, Abbey watched him shift uncomfortably on the loveseat, his book held in the same position for several minutes before she finally spoke up. "What are you doing?"

"What?"

"You haven't turned the page in a half hour." She allowed her textbook to collapse on top of her chest so she could pull her glasses off her face. "What's wrong?"

"Lizzie's in her room. She's bored."

"You offered her a book, right? She said she didn't want to join us."

"She's still mad at me."

"Jed." A tilt of her head supported her sympathetic voice. "Sweetie, this is for the best. She's going to be bored, she's going to be upset, but that's the only way she's going to learn."

"Yeah."

An immediate glimmer of sparkle shined in his eyes as he leapt to his feet. Abbey chuckled at the image of him practically skipping to the coffee table, his hands gripped tightly around the Candyland board and its accessories.

"Ah, bribery," she noted.

"She can't go out, she can't watch TV. I hate the thought of her just laying on her bed and staring at her ceiling."

"I get the feeling it's more than that. You're just as excited as she's going to be," she teased him. "You miss playing Candyland, don't you?"

"Okay, I admit it. I haven't played this game in a week."

"She's going to beat you, ya know."

"Not this time." He was firm in his declaration. "This time, I'm prepared."

"What did you do, buy Candyland for Dummies?"

His head spun towards her with a steely glare. "Read your book."

Abbey responded with a laugh as he called Liz's name. The young girl excitedly sprinted towards her father and took her seat across from him. Jed had already set out the blue gingerbread man for himself and the red one for Liz. The shuffled cards sat in the middle of the board, face-down and ready for retrieval.

It wasn't just the game that gave Liz pleasure. It was the misguided notion that her father's kindness was actually encouragement, that there was an inkling of possibility that she would get her way. With her hopes built high, her fall would soon be disastrous.

She drew from the deck first and moved her gingerbread man to the appropriate spot on the board. Once Jed took his turn, she began her ill-fated venture.

"Daddy, I'm having fun."

"I am too, Sweetheart."

"I always have fun with you."

Her touching words nearly muffled his voice. "I have fun with you too."

"I wish you were going to Mandy's party. I bet I'd have more fun if you were there too." Since her earlier tricks didn't work, she tried out her new approach.

For a five-year-old, she was good, but she was still no match for him. "Lizzie..."

"Please?" she interrupted before he could deny her again.

"We've been over this. You need to win back our trust and we'll let you do the things that you want to do well, most of them anyway."

"But the party's on Monday. Please?"

Every time he refused her request he felt the sting as much as she did. His own frustration was now building. "I said no. Now drop it!" he snapped.

The small flame of hope that had been burning inside her was suddenly extinguished by his harsh tone. Disappointment was now an understatement in describing her feelings. Now, a mixture of anger, hurt, and betrayal, due to her mistaken impressions, blended together, causing her temper to rise rapidly.

Wanting to continue the game, Jed picked up another card and moved his figurine ahead of hers on the board. With smoldering eyes, she focused on him instead of the game and in one quick motion, she picked up the remainder of the cards and threw them at him.

"I don't wanna play with you!"

Her rebellion struck him to his core, especially coming on the heels of the touching day they shared together. The cards lay scattered around the table and on the floor next to them. The few that actually brushed by him during her outburst cut him like a knife.

Abbey rose to her feet, shocked by Liz's actions. "Elizabeth! You apologize right now!"

Liz stood up and locked in to her mother's alarmed expression. "Sorry," she mumbled.

"Clean up the mess and go to your room," Jed replied, heading into his own bedroom as his joy visibly deflated from his body.

Unlike Liz's anger, which usually dissipated rather quickly when another subject caught her interest, the blow to Jed's spirit was harder to repair. So when it came time for their traditional Friday night ice cream outing the following day, he stepped back, allowing Abbey to take her instead.

Abbey was intrigued with the interesting possibility that now presented itself. Up until now, she had been the disciplinarian in the family and because a sweet smile didn't manipulate her the way it did Jed, Liz learned to respect her mother at a very young age. Unfortunately, she mastered the opposite lesson about her father.

Jed Bartlet's unconditional love was obvious from the day she was born. Even as a toddler, Liz relied on the fact that he was so enamored with her adorable qualities that no matter what she did or said, a simple grin was enough to fix a crack in the foundation of their relationship.

Thanks to Abbey, she was about to come face-to-face with a new reality.

Pulling her coat over her shoulders as she ran out of her room, it was Jed's nonchalant attitude that stopped her in her tracks. He sat on the sofa reading Abbey's medical textbook. Why was he reading, she wondered. It was Friday night. For her, the biggest pleasure of the week was Friday night's ice cream run with her father. But tonight, he wasn't even dressed for it.

"Ready to go?" Abbey asked her.

"Isn't Daddy coming?"

"Not tonight."

Having only exchanged a few shallow pleasantries since the argument the night before, Jed and Liz stared at one another for thirty agonizing seconds before Liz turned around and followed her mother out the door.

A fresh batch of snow covered the ground and made driving a better alternative than their usual walk. Liz sat in her seat, her eyes glued to the scenery outside. It was the only silent car ride Abbey could ever remember sharing with her loquacious daughter.

"Why didn't Daddy come?" she finally asked, tearing her focus away from the window and towards her mother.

"Why do you think? You hurt his feelings last night." It was obvious the thought made Liz uncomfortable. She twisted away from her, but Abbey continued. "Lizzie, your behavior has been inexcusable. You know as well as I do that you don't deserve to go to that party. Your father has done everything he can to make your punishment easier on you and you've gone out of your way to make him feel bad. He doesn't deserve that."

"I just wanted to go," she said softly, kicking her feet at the air in front of her.

"And he said you can't. So you accept that."

"I hurt his feelings." It was an acknowledgment, not a question.

"It'll be okay." Her motherly instincts kicked in when she heard the guilt in her daughter's statement. "But I don't want to see what I saw last night ever again."

Little girls may have the ability to melt their father's heart, but an often overlooked fact is that fathers sometimes have the exact same affect on their little girl. Liz lived and breathed for Jed's love and adoration. As a baby, she cried when he went to school, she lit up when he came home, and she squirmed out of Abbey's arms frequently if it meant Jed was available to hold her instead.

He was her king. He always had been. And no amount of anger would change that. But in her young mind, Abbey's words led her to believe she may have broken the unique bond she cherished. The very thought frightened her, draining her of her appetite for dessert entirely.

After twisting her wooden spoon around the small cup of ice cream repeatedly, she gave up. "Can we go home?"

The cold, chocolatey treat she usually enjoyed wasn't the same with the troubling visions running through her brain. The only time Jed hadn't joined her for their traditional weekly outing was when his mother passed away. And then, like now, Liz refused to eat without him.

Upon their return, Jed heard Abbey's keys jiggling in the lock. He threw his marker aside and hid a pack of flashcards behind his back just as the door opened. "Hey!"

"What are you hiding?" Abbey asked, immediately suspicious of the mischievous look on his face.

"Nothing."

"Jed..." It was the way she said his name that sounded more like a warning than anything else.

Holding out his hands, he presented them to her. "Flashcards! They're great. They're going to help us study tonight."

"I told you not to go to all this trouble."

"And I told you it was no trouble. Now sit down. We only have a week left."

Liz peeled off her coat and watched as her parents took their usual seats on the sofa and loveseat respectively. In the past, she had always been invited to sit next to Jed and help him in quizzing her mother. This time, he underestimated her desire to participate.

Abbey closed her eyes in an attempt to clear her mind, devoting all her concentration to medicine. "Okay, I'm ready."

"I swear, I don't know how you learn all this stuff. I don't think I could remember any of it."

"That's why you're not in med school, Darling."

Jed shuffled through the flashcards searching for an appropriate question. His attention was stalled by the soft voice echoing next to him. It was Liz.

"Can I help?"

Her restraint was clear and a twinge of remorse ran through him for not including her initially. "Yeah. Hop on up."

She plopped her palms down on the cushions and pulled herself up by her knees. With his assistance, she settle in and inched her way closer to his seat.

"I'm getting tired of waiting," Abbey teased from across the room.

"Question one. A 59-year-old woman with a 60 pack-year smoking history was diagnosed with lung cancer 2 months ago. She now enters the hospital in coma. Her serum calcium is 16 mg/dL. What would be the most useful way to reduce the calcium in this patient rapidly?"

It was the evil undercurrent in his tone that convinced her she was in for a rough night. "Furosemide," she answered.

He turned the card around and held it up for her observation. "You got the answer right, but you mispronounced it. I wrote them out phonetically," he proudly declared.

"Close enough."

"It's the medical license exam, Abbey, not an archery match. You don't get points for being close. Right, Lizzie?"

He placed an arm around Liz's shoulder and looked down at his usually articulate daughter. Her head was turned towards him and her face was buried in his side. Her fingers clung firmly to his sweatshirt.

"It's a written test. I'm not being scored on pronunci..." Abbey trailed off as concern set in.

"Lizzie?" Jed called her name without a verbal response. Instead, she climbed into his lap. Her hands acted as a buffer between her face and his chest. "Elizabeth, you know I love it when you cuddle up like this, but you're still not going to the party."

"Okay."

Okay? She actually said "okay" without a fight? Something was wrong, he reasoned. "Honey?" He attempted to pull her hands away from her eyes, but to no avail.

"I wanted you to take me," she said quietly. "You always take me, every Friday."

"For ice cream? Didn't you have a good time with Mommy?"

"I wanted you too." She wasn't crying, but her words were laced with sadness. "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings." Her desperate attempt to reconcile was obvious in her tight grasp now that her arms coiled around him.

Holding her closer, he placed a kiss on the top of her head while gently stroking her hair. "It's okay."

"I love you," she breathed at the end of a long sigh of relief.

He treasured that phrase. It was the confirmation he had been longing for, reassurance that, despite his punishment, she didn't hate him. "I love you too, Angel."

Change comes in excruciating increments to those who want it, Jed always said when interpreting the work of German philosopher Max Weber. It was a slow process and, no doubt, a difficult one to maintain, but, eventually, the road to a new beginning would be paved and father and daughter would embark on a journey to redefine their relationship.

TBC