My health is going up and down a bit at the moment, I had a terrible day.My lungs ache from coughing and my nose from sniffing... Yet, I found thestrength to get some writing done anyway. I hope you can forgive me for not responding to everyone in person again, even though I usually enjoy it, I'm just too tired. I'll just say thank you, I'm glad you enjoy the less angsty chapters as well!

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"I'll kill him," was Alexander's cold response after his friend had told him everything that happened this long week. As he had requested no detail had been left out, not about the meetings with his father and what he had said about his mother, not about his doubts and guilt, not about the kiss – Alexander found it hard to remain quiet, yet had done so anyway –, not even about how angry he had been when Alexander had acted so cold towards him earlier. Only when he came upon what happened after he had entered Philip's room, Hephaistion's voice had faltered and Alexander had kissed him, not sure if he could take hearing it anyway. It tore his heart out. "I would have died had you not come, Alexander…"

Hephaistion seemed to have gotten himself together again. "You cannot murder him, Alexander, he is your father. No one should murder a member of his own family. If only because the gods don't like it."

"I don't care."

"But I do." Hephaistion's hand moved up to his face, and traced slow lines over his cheek. "You need them on your side. We need them on our side."

Alexander remained quiet, not sure what to think or do with all this anger raging inside of him, this strong urge to do something. Had Hephaistion not been here now, in need of him, his father would not even live to see the next dawn. But he hid his feelings well, not wanting to trouble his friend further. For the first time, he was holding an upset Hephaistion, instead of the other way around. For the first time, he had to be the older, the wiser. At least for a bit.

He moved forward and gently brushed his lips over his lover's.

Hephaistion let him for a moment, then turned his head away. "You have just as much reason to be angry with me."

"Or you with me," Alexander sighed. "I've been just as stupid, just as… blind. Yes, I have been blind, if not to you then to everything else in the world." His voice dropped to a whisper as he breathed out his next words against Hephaistion's cheek. "Forgive me…"

Hephaistion turned back to him, and Alexander could simply hear the other was frowning. "Of course, of course… and you've already changed… we changed… I feel it." A short sigh escaped his lips. "And… oh, you don't want to hear it was all my fault, do you?"

"I never want to hear you say those words, no." Alexander could feel his friend's face turn into a smile, and he softly sucked on a lower lip before their tongues met, sweet and unhurried, savouring every feeling. The intensity of shared love made his anger fade away, all he wanted was to taste and soothe, wash away all memory of his father – for both Hephaistion and himself.

Hephaistion trembled, and Alexander reached up to wipe away tears, but there were none. He leaned back. "What's wrong? Are you cold?"

More shudders passed down his lover's spine. "Not that b-bad. Don't know. Just- tired."

Alexander's fingers lightly played over Hephaistion's neck, but he inwardly cursed himself. "Come, let's go inside."

"Alexander…" Hephaistion breathed out, while the prince pulled him along in a sitting position, "Can we not stay here?"

"No. We need to go back. Don't worry, no one will stop us," he whispered. And, after pressing an insistent kiss on the other's lips: "Trust me."

"I don't even have a clue where we are," Hephaistion half-laughed, but Alexander heard the strain in his voice.

"I do. Come on, get up." Alexander helped him to stand, then put one hand on his friend's shoulder and turned Hephaistion's head with his other, caressing the ruffled hair. "I asked the guards to light an extra torch. See, there's light." In the distance flickered the fire, partly shielded by the trees.

"They are your father's men," Hephaistion stated after a short silence.

"They are my friends. Come."

"Your friends?"

Alexander halted. "You sound just like my mother now. I played with them when I was a child."

"Sorry," was Hephaistion's nearly inaudible reply, as his body shook once more.

Alexander let his breath slip away and pulled on his lover's hand. "Relax. And mind your feet."

"I'm not stupid," his friend bit back quietly, then groaned. "Sorry- did not mean that like it sounded. Was thinking of… wrong things. Walk then."

They stepped through the darkness towards the torches, instinctively keeping their noise down to a minimum as grass and leaves and dirt passed below their feet. Alexander glanced up at Hephaistion. His friend's face seemed ethereal despite the frown on his forehead, and bright eyes were focused on the distant light in an unmoving stare. He did not know what was going through the other's head, was not even sure he wanted to guess. He was glad when he could finally sign the two men on each side of the entrance to open the door for them, and Hephaistion followed him inside without another word while he breathed out a soft "Zeus bless you."