The trap had been easily set for my little ingénue. As I unhitched the boat, I left the yellow lantern upon the dock, equipped it with a set of matches so that she would be able to light it when she came. I had no doubt that Christine would come—it was only a matter of when that bereaved me; the later she arrived, the longer time she would have to occupy with the boy—and the more I tried to exorcise the image of their young entwining limbs from the chasm of my mind, the more vivid the vision became: Christine, lying timidly waiting in her wedding bed as the young lad nervously adjusts his cuffs in the hallway before inhaling a breath of barely contained excitement as he reaches to unlock the door to beauty I shall never know.
My heart began pounding irrationally as my strokes of the ore quickened with each insufferable image. How dare he! Such common right, such allowed intrusion! What privileges naturally bestowed upon such a person with comely features: the ability to touch and receive such physical satisfaction without any exertion…such simple things placed in his birthright that I must fight, sing, and seduce to attain. Subsequently, my possession over Christine must mystify him terribly—for how could a boy of such pitiable simplicity understand the spells that bound her and me together?
When I reached the lair, I moved reflexively onto the manuscript of Don Juan Triumphant. I had been working on this opera for some time now and the notes had flowed out of my hands each succeeding day with demonic accuracy to my emotions. I could live my sick fantasies through the powers of musical invention—Don Juan would never abandon me or deceive me with its promises of loyalty…music was as devoted to my heart as I was to her spirit. It lifted me up beyond the binds of brutal reality into a kingdom of unmatched magnificence. I can hear her exquisite voice crescendo without abandon to the highest note of surrender…It was in this extreme empire where I floated in an ageless state of peace. And for fear of losing such perfection, I did not stop playing until my hands began to bleed …I dared not.
Christine came to me a day later when I noticed the flickering light from across the lake. She must have been shivering terribly from the cold because the lantern had gone out a few times before she finally lit it again with success and placed it steadily on the ground. I could hear her remarkable chattering as she called for me in the darkness. As I rowed towards her in the boat I could see that she was very cold indeed, for the tip of her nose was turning blue and she seemed to be numbed insensible to the tips of her toes. She could not see me very well in the dim light, but she could hear me, and I as drew closer to her, she unclasped her trembling hands and reached into the darkness.
"Erik?...Are you there?"
As she exhaled a breath of warm air I could feel the cloud of heat caressing my cheek. Then as the boat became visible she suddenly stepped backwards in alarm. Perhaps she hadn't expected me to arrive so soon, or perhaps my appearance startled her—as it always had in the past, but she began to stammer like quite an adorable fool.
"E-E-E-ri-k…How di-i-d you co-m-m-e so f-f-a-st!"
I stood at the end of the lake unmoving so that she could not see the ache in my body in the light. The desire to shroud her in my embrace was beginning to choke me, so thus I stood tensely, waiting for her to make a move, for my nerves could not allow my legs to take a step closer.
She could not move then, I realized; it seemed that she had been literally frozen in place provided with nothing but the protection of a flimsy cotton shawl. And as her small body began to sway lightly with the dim shadow of the light, I removed my cloak and advanced toward her. She fell lightly forward as I wrapped her in the cashmere and lifted her easily into my arms. Her head fell against my chest as she exhaled with a shudder in her frigid daze. Then suddenly, and it took me by complete surprise, she threw her arms around my neck and clasped onto me tightly with a strength I did not know she possessed.
It was then that I noticed the gaudy bauble of a ring that lay between the V of her breast next to the crucifix that her father had given her. I knew immediately that it was a gift from the Vicomte and it was meant to dangle from her beautiful neck in an existence unbeknownst to me.
I placed her gently unto the boat and bent over her, looking down into her exquisite face, tracing the curve of her jaw with my burning eyes until I reached that jewel again. With fire seething through my fingers I reached for the ring and pulled it violently from her neck. Her lips released a baffled gasp and her large eyes flew open as her hands flew around her neck. Her gaze darted from my eyes to the necklace in guilty bewilderment and as she reached a hand towards my mask I stood coldly and turned from her deceitful arm.
"Don't."
I pocketed the ring and picked up the ores and began to row with my back towards her. The thing seemed to be burning right threw the material of my pocket into my flesh, boiling my blood with such heated hatred that I began to feel physical pain as I rowed, unaware of her shrinking figure in the boat with me, unaware that I had reached the shore until I heard the loud bang! of the tip of the boat smashing into the dock. I did not bother to tie the rope as I grabbed her hand and dragged her out of the boat, throwing her on the ground with a snarl of complete contempt.
"Animal!"
She began to cry wretchedly as I stood over her, looming over her frail form like an angel of doom, drawing her reluctant soul into my black wrath.
"What did I tell you about disobedience? Oh, you miserable child! Do you really think I'm a fool who will never uncover your lies and deceit?" I growled in rage, "well I've proven you wrong haven't I…No need to play very much of a detective to discover your poorly concealed little secret. Tell me about the proposal, Christine. Did he get down on one knee and kiss your precious little hand before he slipped it onto your finger? Or was it dramatically set upon a Shakespearean stage with you atop a balcony made of lilies and damsels? What a damsel, you certainly are, fainting in my arms at a whim and pleading for my forgiveness while upon your heart lies the very article of betrayal that will kill me… You've outdone yourself this time, my dear—you've finally mastered the makings of a perfect whore!"
I dragged her dully onto her feet like she was a marionette, and pulled her into the bedroom with me, throwing her onto the bed as she sobbed softly. Tearing the cloak from her shoulders, I pinned her against the mattress and pressed my face into her neck, whispering raspily into her ear.
"Show me what you've learned Christine…Let me be your pupil for once!"
I pressed my lips into her cheek, and then savagely down her jawline into the soft flesh of her neck. She released sobs which began transforming into sounds of abashed pleasure, and reaching for my head she pressed my face into her chest as I kissed her with the raging hunger that was never meant to be shared.
Suddenly all I could see was the remnants left of a shattered girl—a swan that had been blackened by the gargoyle who ravaged her. Her cold body was now burning hot in my arms, she was no longer trembling from coldness but fearful excitement, but the restraint in her voice forced me to stop.
I didn't want her this way.
I pulled away from her, heaving heavily from pleasure and disgust. This was not the way it was supposed to happen! I didn't want to press her body into the layers of silk and impose my mouth upon her raising chest. I didn't want to hear her whimper in soft resigned obedience as I violated her trust and body with all the indecency of a immoral fiend…It was all wrong—this was all wrong!
With an anguished cry I pushed myself off of the bed. She lay in a state of shock, blankly staring up at me in sorrow, grief, and bewilderment…I retreated to the other side of the room, my hands clenched tightly in fists that could not release.
"I don't want you…" I cried in pained torment. "I'm sorry."
Then leaving the room and closing the door firmly behind me, I heard her small hands securing the bolts.
