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Sanzo's Green Socks
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All right, I couldn't help it, I had to write a St. Patty's Day fic. It's been a while since I did something only humorous. I got the inspiration for this from my own green socks. This is solely based on humor, so don't take anything seriously.
Oh, and Happy St. Patrick's Day (takes out green wig and dances with brother wearing a kilt at the dinner table seriously, we do this every year; we're 17 and 18).
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It was a Beautiful morning in an unmentionable village. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping. Everyone was happy, everyone one was smiling. Nothing to ruin the villagers peaceful day.
That is, except for a certain corrupt monk, a heretic boy, a healing youkai, and a red haired hanyou.
Three gun shots were heard, followed by several curses. Villagers who were brave enough, looked to through the inn windows. What they saw was astounding.
Gojyo was hiding behind a chair, Goku was hiding behind him, Hakkai was trying not to laugh, and Sanzo had his gun pointed at the poor, innocent chair. He was still at the breakfast table, a cup of coffee in one hand and his gun in the other.
"You damned monk, what are you trying to do, kill us?" Gojyo said from behind the chair.
"I said shut up," another gun shot rang out through the inn. It passed Gojyo and grazed Goku's cheek lightly were it was barley noticeable.
"Ow, Sanzo!" Goku yelled and got up from his hiding place behind Gojyo. Some hiding place that was.
"Keh," was all Sanzo said and went back to reading his paper. Which, translated from Sanzo language to English, meant 'I'm sorry'.
"Now, now," Hakkai stepped in before Gojyo could say anything. "Why don't we finish up breakfast and then get ready to leave," Hakkai smiled famously. Everyone grunted their replies and went to their respected rooms to get their things.
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"Sanzo!"
He didn't answer.
"Sanzo, can I have my food now?"
Ok, he'll let that one go.
"Saanzoo, I want foood!"
That was it. The next thing Goku knew, he was hit over the head rather hard by a fan like instrument.
"SHUT UP!" Sanzo yelled and sat back down in the jeep, making the fan disappear.
"I always wonder where he keeps that thing?" Gojyo said to no one in particular while smoking his cigarette. Sanzo let the comment go. Gojyo had two more strikes. Hakkai only smiled and kept driving, until he noticed the patched of green on Sanzo's feet. Hakkai smiled even more and diverted his eyes back to the road.
"Oh, I almost forgot," Hakkai said out loud. "Does anyone know what today is?" he asked, looking slightly at Sanzo, who kept his head down and eyes closed.
"What's today?" Goku asked.
"It's St. Patrick's Day," he said, counting the seconds to the next question.
"And that is?" Gojyo asked.
"In Christian religion, St. Patrick drove all the snaked out of Ireland. He also made the shamrock a symbol of the holy trinity," Hakkai sparred a glance at his audience. No one was listening. He sighed, oh well, he thought. "On St. Patrick's day, everyone comes together for St. Patrick's Day Dinner-"
"Dinner!" Goku yelled. Hakkai smiled, he knew that would get Goku's attention.
"Yes, and everyone has to wear green and put shamrocks on their face-"
"What the hell is a shamrock?" Gojyo asked.
"It's almost like grass with three green petals."
"Is that why people have to wear green on St. Patrick's Day?" Goku asked.
"We'll only people how are Irish are supposed to where green on St. Patrick's Day," Hakkai smirked and looked at Sanzo, who STILL wouldn't look at him.
"But why do they have to ware green? Why not yellow, or red, or even purple?"
"Because, Goku, the shamrock is green and most of Ireland is green. Wearing green on St. Patrick's Day shows that you celebrate it. Right Sanzo?" Hakkai said with barely suppressed humor. Sanzo said nothing.
"Hey, 'Kai," Gojyo started. "Are you Irish?" he asked.
"Just a little,"
"Is that why you always wear green?" Goku asked.
"No, I just like the color," he said with a smile.
"Sanzo, are you Irish?" Goku asked, and they all looked over at the monk.
Strike one for the monkey, Sanzo thought to him self and pretended that he didn't hear Goku until he repeated himself.
"Humph." Translation: 'I'm not telling you.'
"Hay, Hakkai," Goku took another approach. "What does Irish people look like?"
"Well, let's see. Most of them have light features; light hair, light eyes, light skin..." he trailed off, just to let Sanzo know what he was going to sat next. "... Just like Sanzo."
Strike one for Hakkai.
"So the monk is Irish?" Gojyo said with a smirk.
Two strikes for Gojyo.
"He might be," Hakkai said in a tone the clearly said 'yes'.
That's another for Hakkai.
"Sanzo are you wearing any green?" Goku asked.
The three of them were tied up at two strikes each.
"His socks," Hakkai said simply and kept his eyes on the road in front of him.
That's it, Hakkai was done.
"You're kidding!" Gojyo yelled and him and Goku looked up in the front seat at Sanzo's feet. Sure enough, he was wearing green and white striped socks that went six inches below his knee.
Three strikes for Gojyo. Sanzo could fell his eye twitch and his hand was reaching for his gun.
"So, Sanzo really Irish," Goku said while him and Gojyo laughed at his green socks. Hakkai, try as he might, couldn't hide his laughter.
Sanzo had enough, and his companion's three chances to shut up was depleted.
"SHUT UP!" Sanzo yelled and shot all five rounds in his gun.
Time had slowed.
Bullet One took a chunk out of Hakkai's hair.
Bullet Two hit nothing.
Bullet Three scratched Gojyo's shoulder.
Bullet Four hit Goku's bag of food, making it fly out of the jeep.
Bullet Five accidentally hit the jeep, causing the jeep to turn back into a dragon; while it was going a good 65 miles an hour.
All and all, it was a beautiful day.
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Happy St. Patrick's Day!
VGT
