Experiment, the Third

"One Picture Is Worth One Thousand Words (Or One Thousand Lines, If the Professor Catches You…)"

Once again, in the interests of Science, I have decided to attempt another experiment in Snapeology. Arriving early in Potions Class, I decided to sit in the back of the chilly, torch-lit classroom in order to have a little privacy in which to conduct my experiment. I made sure to bring extra parchment and a fine sketching quill in addition to my usual parchments and quills.

It states in that most excellent advice manual for the lovelorn lamiae, "Pursuit of the Single-Wizard (or, How to Always Get Your Man)" (Chapter 13, page 427), " and even the most morose of mages will be tickled pink to know that you, O Saucy Seeress, thought enough of him to produce a passionate portrait of the object of your desperate desire, himself! A word of ageless advice, O Artistic Auguresses: Include your sensuous self in the immortalized image whenever possible, for the voluptuous vision of the two of you, together at last, is bound to give even the most ponderous-minded of prestidigitators reckless romantic notions."

As usual, the Subject, Professor Severus Snape, was standing in he front of the dungeon chamber awaiting his pupils. It could have been just my imagination, but the Subject favoured me with one of his heart-stopping smiles and a curt nod.

Once seated and set up, I began. At first, it was relatively easy to observe and sketch the Subject. As other students began to file in, observation of the Subject became a little more problematic, but fortunately, the Subject's habit of pacing the chamber afforded me several rather good views of him.

I continued my observations throughout class. The Subject did not seem to notice, and during the times the Subject was too close to allow me to sketch, I was able to conceal said sketch under another parchment. I chose to render the Subject shirtless (in order to scientifically observe the Subject's fine musculature, of course). Toward the end of class, I decided to contrast the Subject with a female specimen of the same species. Since I am most familiar with drawing myself, naturally, I decided to use myself as the model. Since the female of the species is, by nature, more modest, I depicted myself as fully clad (though I did clothe my penned image in a very flattering formal robe).

At the conclusion of the class, the Subject called for our latest written assignments. Alas, in her misguided haste (doubtless to make a good impression of the Subject), the Slytherin Prefect, Enid Thirstwhistle, yanked my sketch out of my hand and added it to the pile bound for the front of the classroom. Even my feeble protest garnered a cool look from the Subject, so I endeavored to remain quiet and think a way out of my immediate predicament.

Unfortunately for this observer, the Subject's dangerous nature roused itself, and he released his class one by one, checking off each assignment as he did. His eyes grew wide for a moment as he regarded the sketch, then he smiled a positively reptilian smile and resumed checking off assignments. Naturally, since Enid had grabbed my sketch instead of my assignment, the Subject did not chance to call my name, leaving me all alone in the classroom when all the other students departed.

"Miss Wainwright, would you care to join me in my office?" the Subject said, casually gathering the assignments together and leaving the classroom.

I have a bad feeling about this, I thought, but I had little choice but to follow the good Professor down to his office, picking up my books as I did. Once there, I found the subject seated at his desk, still in possession of the sketch.

"Come in, Miss Wainwright. Do sit…while you can. Can you explain this…er…object? I found it among the class assignments. Incidentally, I did not notice an assignment from yourself." His dark eyes had commenced their usual predatory glitter. I felt both thrilled and terrified.

"Sir…Professor Snape…I can explain. You see, Enid Thirstwhistle grabbed-"

A slight nod. "I see… And how did she chance to insert this," indicating the sketch, "instead of your assignment, Miss Wainwright? Naturally you would not have been working on anything in class other than the topic at hand, being the study of Potions. Judging from this, one might think that you were attending an Art class instead."

"Sir…please…" I reached into my bag and withdrew the assignment I had intended to hand in.

The subject took it in one hand, glanced at it peremptorily…and glanced at the fireplace. I wondered, for a moment, if he planned to burn it, but instead, he nodded and slipped it in among the other assignments. "Late, of course," he declared, but he continued to smile.

I sensed a softening in the Subject at this point and decided to press my advantage. "The picture, sir…"

"Ah yes, the picture. And what an…interesting pose and mode of dress, Miss Wainwright." He placed the parchment containing the sketch in a drawer and stood. I looked up at him from the guest chair, into those deep eyes, his strong-featured face. He reached down and extended his hand to me, and I nearly swooned at his nearness. Gently, he drew me to my feet. I felt my face grow hot.

"Oh, Professor…" I closed my eyes and raised my face, anticipating, perhaps, a kiss.

"I have just the proper reward for your diligence in mind, Miss Wainwright."

The Subject continued to hold my hand, but instead of touching his lips to mine, he guided me to his desk. I opened my eyes in a rapturous ecstasy and saw the Subject reaching behind his desk to withdraw…hey! Waitaminnit! He's not about to kiss you, you twit, he's going to……

The Curtain of Charity is Drawn Across the Intervening Scene.

A note to a classmate in Slytherin:

Dearest Roo,

When I join you in Detention tonight, please do NOT ask about the pillow. You don't want to know.

Let me reiterate my previous warning: only trained researched should attempt direct, field observations of dangerous Subjects (especially those wielding school canes or similar weapons), and remember that when cornered, the Subject can be more dangerous than might otherwise be expected.

Yes, there WILL be a fourth Experiment. After all, sometime sacrifices must be made in the interests of Science and the pursuit of Knowledge, but this researcher will try something a little less…daring next time…at least 'til I can sit comfortably again.

Sorely,

Althea Wainwright