Disclaimer : I don't own anything so there!

XSARAH : Sorry, I've been a bit slow recently, haven't I? lol. But my excuse is I've been working lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

MOSHIMORO6785 : I don't know, if he doesn't come around it'll be much more fun… for me anyway lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

PUNKTEACHER : Yeah, I'm writing about the funeral, but probably not as in depth as I could, but I dunno, I've only ever been to one funeral, so I don't really have much experience with that lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!

Chapter 9

I went into the bathroom, and stared into the mirror at my reflection. Though I had aged slightly, I was still proud to say, I looked pretty much the same as I did when I was in college. I didn't mind the fact I was getting older, at least I was able to grow old. My mind wandered to the funeral, as I began brushing my teeth. Though the occasion was a sad one, I couldn't help but notice the day had been a good one.

FLASHBACK

15 minutes after Casey had come down into the living room, Charlie followed. Granted he looked like death warmed up, but he neither said or looked at any of us. He seemed almost ghost like, as he wandered through into the dining room, where we had put all the flowers this morning. He picked the large one up, and headed out to where the cars had just pulled up. We all followed suite, some of us picking up the flowers, the rest of us, just following him out. The two limousines were parked just behind the hurse. I watched as Charlie passed the flowers to the pall bearer, then stood off to the side, as the other ducks passed there flowers.

I glanced at Charlie, who seemed, as though he wasn't really there. It was just his body, he'd left his mind and soul up in the bedroom. As I was looking at him, I noticed someone stood in the background just over his shoulder. It was then, I realized that the street had dozens of people stood on the side walk watching. At first this annoyed me, thinking they were just being nosy, and just wanting a bit of gossip. It was only when Averman came and stood by my side, and wrapped his arm around my shoulders before giving me a squeeze, that I realized, the people watching the proceedings weren't simply doing so to be nosy or anything like that, they were just paying their respect.

"Ok, let's get going". Bombay told us.

He climbed in the first car with Charlie, Casey, Guy, Goldberg, Adam and Averman. I chose to keep my distance from Charlie for a while incase we both made everything between us worse than they already were. I climbed in behind Portman, as we both helped Jonah in. Me, Portman, Jonah, Coach Orion, Russ, Luis, Ken, Dwayne and Fulton all climbed into the second limo. Jonah who had only met Coach Orion a few times previously and couldn't really remember much about him, was intrigued with him. He sat between us, continuously staring up at him in wonder.

"I think you've got a fan Coach". Ken quipped.

"I think you might be right Ken". Coach Orion replied.

The rest of the journey was almost deadly silent. Jonah muttered a few words, but nothing really coherent. I suppose in away, I was hoping he wasn't going to start shouting or anything during the service. Although, I know Julie would probably be ok with it, I didn't particularly want him to. When we arrived at the chapel, we all climbed out. Casey took Jonah from me, I suppose guessing that I really didn't want to be the one that coped with him. I watched with a lump in my throat as the pall bearers lifted Julie's coffin from the back of the hurse and make the journey to the front of the chapel. We all followed silently entering in two's. I was sat at the front with the ducks, leaving Miles to sit further back, my hands visibly shaking, my stomach doing flip flops.

As we were waiting for the vicar to begin the service, I heard slight murmurings coming from behind me and the ducks. I felt as though they were talking about me, because I hadn't spoken to Miles yet, and had left him to sit away from me. Also because I was giving the eulogy I felt they were thinking that I was going to mess it up. I began fidgeting uncomfortably, unable to control my actions of anxiety. Both Goldberg and Averman who I was sat between, comforted me, by squeezing my hands or rubbing my back. They both knew that giving the eulogy was going to be one of the hardest things I had to do.

The service seemed to fly by, and before I knew it, I heard the vicar declare that I was going to be giving the eulogy. I finally looked up at the vicar, and he nodded encouragingly, though it didn't exactly help. I hadn't brought a speech to read or anything. I had vaguely written something, but had sort of memorized it. I stood up and went behind the pew before staring out at the packed chapel. I was now more nervous than ever. A quick glance at the ducks, and seeing there encouraging faces, settled me slightly but not nearly enough.

"Um, now I'm up here, I don't really know where to start. Julie was my best friend, she might as well have been a long lost sister". I began stuttering, but finally found how I could continue. "There wasn't a thing I couldn't talk to her about. Over the passed week or so, my memories of Julie have been with me constantly. When I first met her, I thought she was amazing. Every puck we shot at her, she saved. From that moment on, we just continued to get closer and closer. People used to say the only reason we were as close as we were, was because we were the only girls on a hockey team of 11 boys. That wasn't it at all. I'm sure as most of you know, Julie had the most infectious personality, there wasn't a thing about her, you could dislike. She had this way of cheering you up, whenever you needed it, just by smiling. To be honest, I don't think half of us would have gotten through high school, if it hadn't been for her. Even if she didn't take the same class as you, or understand the work properly, she'd just take off, research it, then come back to you and explain everything. There isn't many friends like her, that would do that". I gulped, trying to fight the tears. "I know most of you were there, when she married Charlie. I remember being in the bridal room with her just before, and all she could say was that she was marrying the man of her dreams. That day she sparkled with happiness like I had never seen her do before. She was floating on cloud 9, nothing could have brought her down. Even a year after they were married, she was still glowing as though she were still on her honeymoon". I wiped at the few tears, before taking a deep breath and continuing. "When she was told that her condition was terminal, she saw it more as a blessing, it takes a special kinda person to do that. And that's exactly what Julie was, a very special person. I can't speak for everyone, but I know there won't be one day that goes by, that she won't be on my mind, be with me every step, and still be very much alive within my memory". I ended, and headed still shaking back to my seat.

The vicar continued, saying a few prayers, before declaring that we were now going to commit Julie to the ground. We followed solemnly to her final resting place. More prayers were said, as her coffin was lowered gently into the grave. All the ducks, Bombay, Orion and Casey tossed a handful of Earth in, I tossed a single white rose. We had discussed placing her jersey's in with her, but we decided to put the spare ones she had in and kept her original ones in a frame.

We slowly made our way back to the awaiting limo's. Without thinking we climbed into the same cars as the trip here. I squeezed between Portman an Fulton, who were both unusually solemn. I hated seeing them this quiet, it wasn't right somehow, yet I knew it was too much for them to be there usual selves.

"It was a beautiful service don't you think"? Ken suggested, though I wasn't particularly listening.

A round of agreement was replied, yet I remained silent, staring at nothing in particular, but wishing that I really wasn't here. I didn't want to be having this conversation, or be sat in this car. I wanted to be at home or work, anywhere but here, where everything was back to normal, anywhere that I could believe Julie was still around.

"Con"? A hand waved in front of my face.

"Huh, what, sorry". I apologized, as I came back to Earth.

"I said your eulogy was touching and heartfelt". Dwayne told me.

"Thanks". I muttered, then spaced out again.

"Con"? I heard someone say again.

"Yeah". I replied, not really paying much attention.

"You ok"? It felt weird hearing Portman ask me this, he rarely asked things like this. Though we all knew he cared deeply about each of us in his own way, we had all long since accepted he wasn't the touchy feely type that would openly worry.

"Yeah". I figuratively speaking shook myself, ridding myself of my previous thought, before leaning closer to him, and nudging him with my shoulder. "I'm ok". I clarified.

Not long after, we arrived back at Charlie and Jonah's. It felt weird acknowledging that this wasn't Julie's home anymore. Casey had put a small spread on for the few mourners who had followed us after the service. I was in by no means in a very sociable mood, and managed to sneak out back, where I leant on the porch railing, looking out on the huge lawn.

"Hi". I heard someone behind state.

"Hey". I replied, knowing exactly who it was.

"How's it going"? The air seemed thick between us.

"I've been better. You"? I was spent, I lacked all energy I needed to hold a conversation with anyone.

"Yeah, I'm doing ok". Neither of us seemed to know exactly what to say to each other. "I've missed you these passed few days". He told me.

"I'm sorry I haven't been around much". I apologized.

"No, it's ok, I know"… Miles dismissed my apology. "Listen, I have to go. Should I expect you home tonight"? He asked.

"Maybe. I don't know yet". I replied.

"Ok. Love you". He told me, closing the gap between us, and leaning forward to kiss me. In one quick movement, I turned my head slightly, so he ended up kissing my cheek.

"Ditto". I replied. I saw the slight disappointment flash in his eyes, but it quickly disappeared, as he said his final goodbyes, before leaving.

Again I turned my attention back to the back garden, watching birds flit around in the late afternoon sun. I suppose it was then that I realized, that I had pushed Miles away this past week. I knew I should feel overcome with guilt, but strangely, there was only a slight sense of guilt, which soon dissipated.

"There you are"! Averman stated, as he and a few of the others joined me.

"Yeah, here I am". I answered gloomily.

"What you doing out here"? Guy asked, leaning on the railing next to me.

"I just wanted some air that's all".

Where's Miles"? Guy asked again.

"Oh, um he had to go". I answered.

END FLASHBACK

After that day, everything seemed abnormal. There was nothing to really fill the days. Before, there was everything to sort through, but now that the funeral was over, emptiness filled the long days. There was nothing to focus my attention on, except the loss of my best friend. I did go home that night, though I said hardly anything to Miles, and truth be told, spent nearly all night, pretending to be asleep, but secretly sobbing, as the finality of my loss really hit home.