Disclaimer : I don't own anything so there!
XSARAH : Arr thank you. You're so kind. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!
KATIE : Hey you! I'm' not going to beat you lol. And if I was, why a wet noodle? Lol. Other than the fact it wouldn't hurt lol. I know what you mean, if my best friend died, I'd be so lost. I mean there'd be no-one to go into a betting shop with me to bet on horses then jump up and down screaming when they win, there'd be no-one to tell me that she'll come with me when it's my driving test. Physically shakes self. Anyways she's not dead Touches wood, but maybe I'm gonna dedicate this story to everyone's best friend lol. Yeah lol. I feel a bit sorry for Miles too, but never mind, I'm sure I'll get over it lol. Yeah, course it's a review, and I wouldn't care even if you just wrote one saying HI lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!
DEDICATED TO ALL THE BEST FRIENDS IN THE WORLD LOL!
Chapter 10
After I brushed my teeth, I stood staring at my reflection in the mirror. Nothing in particular made me look, but around my neck was a small gold chain, with my first wedding ring on it. Though I had been divorced for a number of years, I hadn't had the heart to get rid of the ring, it stood for a significant part of my life, one of which I'm very proud to have had.
FLASHBACK
Time seemed to fly after the funeral. Long before any of us where ready, we were saying goodbye to the ducks, Casey, Bombay and Orion. I say we, in fact it was just me and Adam, Charlie seemed neither interested or bothered by their disappearance. He spent most of his time locked in his room, having nothing to do with anyone. I had kept my distance from him since the funeral, knowing that I would no doubt say something I may regret later. Adam and I rallied around, knowing we both had to go back to work in a weeks time, and there was no way Charlie was going to be back to his old self in time to look after Jonah.
We had interviewed numerous child minders, until we found one that suited the situation. Sophie was a middle aged woman, who had several qualifications to do with child care, as well as raising 4 of her own children. She'd only had 2 previous employers since the children she'd cared for had grown up. She had never been fired or resigned from her post, and her police check that all child minders had to have, was clear. She was understanding about our whole situation with Charlie and even insisted that she come and spend more time with Jonah, so that he could get used to her before left with her full time. Thankfully he was more than willing to accept her.
Adam told Charlie all of this, but he never got a reply. I was beginning to worry, as he said or did nothing, and even after 3 weeks, he had lost a dramatic amount of weight. We even thought about calling in a doctor or something, as it was becoming a problem, but then we knew that Charlie wouldn't say anything to the doctor, and there wasn't anything really physically wrong with him. Again it came back to the concept of giving him time.
Though I had stayed at home more frequently over the passed 2 weeks, there was a rift slowly edging itself between myself and Miles. I was short and snappy with him, more so when I was frustrated by Charlie's behavior. We began getting like those old couples you see in restaurants that sit and talk about the menu, but once their order has been placed, they sit in complete silence.
Miles was trying desperately to get me to talk things out with him, but I didn't. I suppose deep inside I shut him out because this was a duck matter, and ducks flew together. He wasn't a duck therefore he wasn't really needed, or so I thought. I pushed him to his limits without even realizing, but Miles being Miles, let me get away with it.
I was soon back at work, feeling the stress of it all over again. I suppose this was where things turned from bad to worse. Charlie was finally leaving his room for longer amounts of time than it took to make a drink and bite to eat. He often went out around lunchtime and didn't return until 8pm. So because Sophie only worked until 5.30pm, I had to keep heading over there to watch Jonah.
"Hi Sophie. You wouldn't believe the traffic on my way over here". I dashed into the house, 5 minutes passed her finishing time. "Sorry I'm a little late". I apologized.
"It's ok, I've only just finished giving him his dinner". She replied.
"Ok. Thanks. Um Charlie's not around is he"? I already knew the answer but I thought I'd ask anyway.
"No, he went out a little after lunchtime". She answered. "Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow". She bid farewell then left.
I went into the living room where Jonah was sat playing in his play pen. Immediately on seeing me, he called my name and got to his feet, before grabbing the side of the pen and rattling them until I went to him. He passed me his book, and I picked him up before sitting and reading it to him. Afterwards, he got down and went back to his trucks to play. Not long after, Adam popped around, and wasn't at all surprised at the lack of Charlie's presence. He didn't stay long as he was going away that night for a game the following day. After his departure I gave Jonah a bath and put him to bed. Normally by now Charlie was home, however I didn't start worrying straight away, because Charlie had been so unpredictable these days, there was no telling what time he'd come home.
He didn't return home until well after 10pm. Almost immediately on his entrance I jumped to my feet, relief washing over me. Within a few steps of him, I could smell alcohol, his eyes were unfocused and there was a slight sway to his walk.
"Have you been drinking"? I accused, though I knew the answer was yes.
"And if I have". He replied, quite loudly.
"Shh, Jonah's asleep". I hushed him.
"Ok, you be quiet, we don't want to wake him". He hissed, as he tiptoed exaggeratedly toward the stairs.
I followed him as he continued walking that way, into his room. He collapsed onto his bed, and fell asleep right there. Knowing I couldn't leave Jonah in his incapable hands, I pushed his legs further onto the bed, pulled his shoes off then covered him with the quilt.
When I got downstairs, I rang Miles to let him know I was staying here for the night. I could tell he was less than pleased by the news, especially when I mentioned the drinking part. Though I knew he understood why I was staying for Jonah's sake.
The following morning, I got myself ready for work, and got Jonah up and fed him his breakfast. Naturally Charlie wasn't awake yet, and though part of me wanted to go and wake him, the other part of me knew that he wouldn't be of much use anyway. Sophie arrived shortly after, and I warned her about Charlie's possible state, of which she accepted easily, telling me she understood that he was obviously going through a traumatic time. I was more than tempted though to stay and have a full blown argument with him as soon as he got up, but my better judgment told me differently.
I worked through my day, finding my mind was taken away from all my other problems, and to be honest when the clock struck 5 I really didn't want to go home, knowing what would be waiting for me. But guessing Charlie wouldn't be in, I headed straight over to his house to take over from Sophie.
That night was spent with Jonah, watching Adam on TV. Well it wasn't just Adam it was the hockey game, but Jonah continued shouting his name every time we spotted him. After the game, I put Jonah to bed and again rang Miles, telling him that I wouldn't make it home again. At this he sounded more angry about it, but again let it slide, telling me he would see me tomorrow.
The next day I only went to work in the morning, and headed home in the afternoon. I knew Miles would be home as this was a day he had off every week. When I walked in the house, he was neither happy or sad to see me. He was sat in the dining room, work papers scattered all over the desk, though on my entrance, he looked up, obviously planning on leaving the work.
"Connie we need to talk". He told me.
"What about"? I asked clueless, though knew it couldn't be anything good.
"You have no idea how hard this is for me to say, but it needs to be said. I know these past few weeks haven't been easy, but to be honest it's made quite a few things clear".
"Miles, what are you going on about"?
"I always knew I loved you, more than you loved me. But I didn't care, I had you in my life. But recently I haven't. I know you've had a lot of things going on, and it's probably been easier for you to turn to the ducks than it has been to come to me, but you've continually given me the cold shoulder, and I can't help but think that I'm never going to be enough for you". He began explaining. "I've always accepted that the ducks are a huge part of you and your life, but when their around, I don't seem to exist. I can't compete with them anymore".
"So you want me to choose between you and the ducks"? I asked incredulously.
"No. No I never want you to have to feel like you have to choose between me and them. I just think we need to have some time away from each other. For you to figure out whether you still want to be with me".
"I do want to be with you though. Things are just difficult at the moment. Charlie's struggling and then there's Jonah".
"See to me, they're just excuses, because if you really wanted to be with me, the excuses wouldn't exist".
Before things got any further, I simply nodded along with him, before offering to be the one to leave. Deep down, I knew everything he was saying was true, but I was too scared to admit anything was wrong between us. I left an hour later, giving him a hug and kiss, before telling him I'd speak to him soon. I did love him, and probably always would, but he was right, no matter how I fought it, things had changed between us.
I went back to Charlie's, purposely leaving my bag in the trunk of the car, where it remained until Sophie left later that evening. Charlie again had gone out, but for once I was glad, as I soon found myself crying through confusion and every other emotion that was running through me.
Later that evening, long before Charlie returned home, I went and set the guest bedroom up for myself. Though I was going to speak to Charlie about staying here for a while, I knew I would no doubted need to stay again. At about 11pm, I got fed up with waiting for him to return home, and headed off to bed, only to be awoken an hour later, upon hearing him stumble back toward his room. I knew then, that something was going to have to be done about this new found drinking hobby he'd taken up. I knew it was late, but it was something I felt I needed to do, so I grabbed for my cell phone, and sent Adam a text message asking him if he was free anytime tomorrow. Almost immediately I got a reply telling me he'd be around first thing in the morning. He must have guessed I needed to see him about Charlie.
END FLASHBACK
As many people say, things get worse before they get better, and they were right. Little did either me or Adam know, there was going to be some hard times to come with Charlie, and we'd both need the patience of saints to get him through.
So what do you think? PLEASE RR!
