Disclaimer : I don't own anything so there!
XSARAH : Thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!
MOSHIMORO6785 : I know don't you just want to give him a good slap and a shake before screaming abuse in his face lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!
Chapter 11
"You're beautiful". A voice from behind me spoke gruffly.
I turned and smiled. My husband was stood in the doorway, a mischievous grin plastered his face. He hadn't changed much, in all the years I had known him. I can't remember when it was exactly that I fell for him, I think it was just gradual. Maybe it was because of all the things we'd been through together that brought us closer, or maybe there had always been something there, I don't know maybe it was both. All I could think of was exactly what we went through together.
FLASHBACK
I awoke early that morning, having not slept well anyway. I just couldn't keep my mind off this whole Charlie situation. By the time I had woken Jonah up, it was still pretty early. I called Sophie and told her that I didn't need her today, then called my mom, and arranged for her to have Jonah for the day. See the thing was, Sophie wasn't allowed to care for Jonah in her own home, so that would mean her having to take Jonah out for the full day so that me and Adam could talk with Charlie. By 8am, Jonah was around at my moms. I could see her question my motives, though she dropped that and began asking me why I wasn't at home yesterday afternoon when she called. I loosely explained that I was round at Charlie's. I wasn't really ready to admit to the whole world that my marriage was sinking. Half an hour later, I left and headed straight back to Charlie's and tidied until Adam's arrival.
"Hey". He entered, kissing my forehead and hugging me in greeting. "Where's Sophie and Jonah"? He asked glancing around himself for any sign of Jonah.
"I've given Sophie the day off and my mom's got Jonah. I didn't want either of them to be here for this". I replied.
"Sounds serious". He followed me into the living room.
"It is". I replied. "Or it could be". I clarified. "It's about Charlie".
"Why aren't I surprised". He butted in, though his tone was surprisingly full of annoyance. I couldn't figure whether it was because he was annoyed at me for calling him round to talk about Charlie, or whether it was because he too was getting annoyed with Charlie's behavior. "Sorry, I'm not mad at you". He clarified, probably reading my hesitance. "What's he done now"?
"He's started drinking". I told him.
"Drinking"? Adam looked at me slightly confused, but slightly understanding at the same time.
"Yeah. It's happened a few times now". I told him, watching face change from confusion to slight anger. "I mean he's not exactly blind drunk when he comes home, but I just thought we ought to try an nip this in the bud before it gets too out of hand".
"You're right, this needs sorting out". Adam agreed. "Where is he now"?
"Still in bed. We'll probably not see him again until this afternoon". I told him.
"You wanna bet on that". Adam stood and strolled into the kitchen and poured Charlie a mug of hot coffee that had recently brewed.
I followed him up the stairs and stood just outside Charlie's room as he let himself in, shouting Charlie's name. I heard a few grumblings, then Adam say loud and clear, that the coffee was on the bedside table, and that he was to come downstairs in 10 minutes, otherwise he'd come back up and drag him down. I had never seen this side to Adam, he wasn't forceful, yet I knew his tone was enough to make Charlie come down.
10 minutes later, a sleepy eyed, yet fully dressed Charlie appeared in the living room doorway. I smiled, as encouragingly as I could manage. He just looked blank toward me in return.
"Morning Charlie". Adam startled him, by coming up behind him, a plate of toast in hand.
"Humph". Charlie took the toast, and slumped down on the sofa opposite myself. "What's this, a Brady bunch reunion"?
"I see you haven't changed much in the morning grumpiness department". Adam sat beside me.
"Whatever". Charlie replied distastefully. "What do ya want anyway"? He asked impatiently.
"We want you to start acting like Jonah's father, to start taking responsibility for your own son, to stop going out and getting drunk every night". Adam began, getting straight to the point.
"Charlie, I know it's been hard, but Jonah"… I began trying to explain.
"You don't though. You both sit there, preaching to me, about how to live my life, and make it as perfect as yours are. That isn't going to happen, because neither of you had to sit with your partner and lose them". Charlie got very defensive, very quickly.
"You think we don't miss Jules. My God Charlie, we miss her more than you think. Like right now, I wish she was here, to talk some sense into you". I too got angry. "Ok, so she isn't here anymore, we can't do anything about that, but she left you the most precious gift ever. All we have left of her, are our memories and photo's. You, you have her flesh and blood, something she cherished more than life itself, yet everyday, you pretend he doesn't even exist". I shouted at the top of my lungs, my voice booming angrily. I was so mad with him, I was fighting the urge to lash out at him. "Jonah needs a father Charlie, he's just lost his mom, don't make him lose you too". I lowered my voice slightly, as tears came rushing down my cheeks.
"Just stay out of my life". He shouted in retaliation as he stormed out of the house.
"Oh that went brilliantly". I said dejectedly.
"Connie, we can't do much more, except care for Jonah and hopefully he'll start to realize just how much he means to him". Adam squeezed my shoulder, as he stood up by my side.
"Even that might not be enough". I almost whispered.
"How'd you mean"? Adam asked curiously.
"Jonah could be taken away Adam". I admitted, finally allowing my biggest fear to come out in the open.
"By who"? He asked confused.
"Social services". I sighed. "Whenever a parent passes away leaving the other parent to care for the child or children, within the first year or so, social services can make checks on you, to make sure the child is getting the proper care or isn't being neglected. They let things slide for the first few months or so, because obviously the parent is probably still grieving, but if they have any doubt they monitor the parent carefully, and then they make a decision whether to take the child into care".
"But that's not going to happen to Jonah, because he has us and Sophie looks after him during the day". Adam replied confidently.
"It doesn't make a difference. The child could have all the carers in the world, but if the parent is seen unfit, then the child can and will be taken in to care". I hated admitting this. "And Charlie definitely fits under the unfit category at the moment".
"How do you know all this"? He asked suspiciously. I knew he was thinking that I had purposely looked into it.
"Because it works similarly for adopted kids too". I sat opposite him.
"But"… He began, and I knew he had clicked on to what I was saying.
"I'm not a blood Moreau". I half heartedly smiled.
"How, Why didn't we know"? He asked almost speechlessly.
"Because I never told you guys". I admitted. "Because you didn't need to know". I told him, seeing him slightly understand. "David and Sue, my parents, might not be biological, but they care and love me so much more than whoever my biological parents were, did".
"You don't know who your biological parents are"?
"No, and I don't need to know. I know any medical history and things, incase you know, they end up with a hereditary disease or something, but that's it. They aren't parents, they never were. A mom and dad are people who really care about you, whether you're their biological child or not. My parents are all I've ever needed, it doesn't matter that we don't share the same blood".
"But, but you look so much like Carl and Jamie". He stated, referring to my two older brother Carl, 29 and Jamie 25.
"Luck of the draw I guess". I laughed slightly. "Listen, I don't mind people knowing, but I'd appreciate it if you"… I began.
"Between me you and these four walls". He smiled.
"Thanks, it's just I don't want my mom and dad to think I haven't been happy or anything". I tried explaining the best I could. "So, what do we do about Charlie"? I asked changing the subject.
"I think we are getting in over our heads here". He admitted, leaning back into the couch, and sighing deeply.
"Duck call huh"? I asked.
"Think it's looking that way yeah". He told me. "Let's give him another few weeks, try a few more times, and if nothing happens, duck call".
I agreed with his plan, hoping and praying that we'd get through to Charlie before then. An hour or so later, Adam went to practice, and I began getting ready to pick Jonah up. I knew there was a stop I needed to make first. On the way, I picked some lilies up, and drove over there. I walked steadily dodging the headstones that lay in my path. The route was a memorized one, and I could have found my way blindfolded. I soon came upon the right spot, with an elegant rhinestone headstone with Julie's name, her birth and death dates, and a small passage that read 'Wife, Mother, Friend and Duck' then directly underneath 'QUACK'. I knelt by her graveside, placing the lilies gently leaning on her headstone, before running my fingers tenderly over the words.
"Hey Jules, it's me". I greeted her, in the same way I had done since I had met her. "I know I promised you, I'd help Charlie and Jonah through everything, but Jules, I'm trying, but I can't try much more. Everything's so messed up and I don't see anyway of putting them right. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but I didn't realize that it was it was going to be this hard either". Tears stung my eyes. "There's never been a time I needed you more than I do now. I know you know that things between me and Miles have been difficult, and that we've separated for a while. And everything he told me was true. I always did put the ducks first, always pushed him into the sidelines. I don't blame him for wanting to end things, maybe deep down, things have never really been how they should have between us, and I believe him when he says he loves me, more than I do him. Because in all truthfulness I don't think I ever opened my heart fully for him, I always held him at arms length, and the ducks closer". I admitted. I just felt my whole emotions being poured out, feeling slightly better for it. "The only person that could help me solve this, and everything I'm going through with Charlie, is you, but you aren't around, and I don't know what to do. I know Charlie needs Jonah more than he's letting on, but how, how do I get him to understand this. Please Jules if you're listening, just please help me". I wept, leaning onto the headstone and crying my heart out. "Help me, please help me". I cried, feeling my whole world come falling down around me.
END FLASHBACK
Looking back, I never realized at the time, how close I was to having a nervous breakdown. I had too much to deal with, and never let anyone take any pressure off me, incase it gave me a spare few minutes to think about things properly. I was scared, scared of grieving fully incase I grieved too much or that once I started, I'd never stop.
So what do you think? PLEASE RR!
