Disclaimer : I don't own owt so there!
A/N : Sorry for the delay in updating but I've been SOOO busy lol. I actually went to my first ever ICE HOCKEY game the other night. I know you must be thinking WHAT? I've been writing Ice hockey fanfics and NEVER been to game lol. But anyways, I loved every second of the game and well when I came out I couldn't speak because I'd screamed that hard throughout the game lol. Anyways ENJOY!
XSARAH : YAY for Adam lol. It's about bloody time though don't you agree lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!
B : Thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!
Chapter 14
"Huuu… shhhh". The sound of my husbands gentle snoring came to attention. He always snored for the first half an hour of sleep, I suppose it was because he was going into a deep sleep. Most wives would hate it, but I didn't mind, it was my signal that I could move around in bed without waking him.
I turned over onto my back, and began staring at the ceiling. I didn't feel very tired, which in itself was pretty unusual as normally at this time, I'd have been fast asleep before my head had even hit the pillow.
FLASHBACK
The doctor told me I was suffering from a bad concussion and just general bruising all over. He had said he wanted to keep me in for a couple of days, but after spending one night and nearly all the following morning, I couldn't take anymore, and almost pleading with him to let me go home. Well I say home, it was Charlie's, since I couldn't exactly go back to the house I shared with Miles. My mom fussed and pleaded with me to go home with her so she could take 'proper' care of me. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom, but the thought of a few days, locked in house with her, caring for my every need, only gave me more of a headache. She was still non the wiser to why I couldn't go back 'home'. I told her Miles was away on business of which she accepted easily.
So the day after, the doctor discharged me, though he had a frown on his face the whole time. I'm almost sure Adam filled him in on the whole 'Julie' history, which helped to rock the boat my way. From the moment, I was allowed out of my hospital bed, I had 10 ducks fussing round me, making sure I was ok. When I got back to Charlie's, the fussing got 10 times worse, until I resigned myself to my room, where I got back in bed and slept some more. Once I was in my bed though, that was it, I wasn't allowed out of it at all. I hadn't realized at the time of my decision, but being here was worse than being at my moms, at least there was only one of her, but here there were 10 just like her.
I was just beginning to settle again, after having put up with Portman and Fulton regaling me with more stories of what they'd been up to, when there was a knock on the door.
"Come in". I sighed heavily, hoping and praying it was just one of them wanting the answer to a crossword puzzle or something short like that.
"Hey. Someone just wanted to come and say Hi". Charlie entered, behaving totally different than he had a few days previous.
"Conneee". Jonah screeched, walking in behind Charlie, gripping his dad's hand.
"Hey little guy". I sat up in bed, moving my arms over to the side, ready to lift him up to sit next to me. "You ok"? I asked, as he snuggled under the sheet next to me.
"Yes, ok". He answered, and I wondered if he actually understood the question properly. I looked toward Charlie for a more accurate response.
"Yeah, he's fine. Stop worrying about him". Charlie smiled toward me. "C'mon Jonah, Uncle Goldberg's waiting to take you downstairs. Say see ya later to Connie". He told him gently.
"See ya lata Conneee". He said cheerfully, standing up on the bed and planting a big wet kiss on my cheek.
"See ya later". I laughed, as he bounded from the room. "I'm sorry Charlie, I never meant"… I began.
"You don't have anything to be sorry for Con's. It's all me". He came closer and sat on the bed facing me. "I know you didn't plan on crashing your car, I know, I suppose I was just scared, and wasn't really thinking".
"Looks like we've both been in the wars". I pointed out his deeply bruised cheek and eye.
"Would you believe it took this to make me realize". He laughed gently.
"Well if I'd known, I would have obliged earlier". I laughed back. "Adam"? I already knew the answer.
"Yeah. He, um, gave me some home truths too". He admitted shamefully. "We've talked a lot these passed few days. He's made me realize exactly what I've put you all through, mainly you and him". I swear I could see tears in his eyes. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry. I was horrible to you, and never thought that you might be grieving just as much as me". A stray tear ran down his face.
"For what it's worth, I don't blame you". I whispered in his ear, after pulling him into a tight hug, where my own tears emerged. "I'm always gonna be here for you and Jonah".
"I'm so, so sorry". He broke down, with what I guess was all his emotions he'd kept locked up for months.
"It's ok. It's ok, let it out". I cried with him.
A minute or so later, Adam popped his head around the door. I suppose to check that everything was ok, and another argument wasn't about to erupt. On seeing Charlie in my arms, he smiled and nodded gently, before disappearing all together.
We must have sat there for quite a while, slowly calming down after each sob. In a way, I suppose relief hit me there and then. Relief that Charlie was finally facing his demons, and allowing me to face my own. We both needed this more than anything in the world. Neither of us had really grieved fully, I hadn't because I had pushed it aside, throwing myself into work, and caring for Jonah, as well as anything else that kept my mind away from Julie. Charlie hadn't really grieved properly, he'd just seemed to lock his emotions up, scared to face up to them.
"Are you gonna get back together with Miles"? He asked after pulling further away and twisting round to sit next to me.
"I don't think so". I admitted sadly. "There's too much water gone under the bridge".
"But you were so perfect together". He told me.
"We just weren't perfect enough". I replied.
After another few minutes, he left, telling me we'd talk more later. Once he'd left, I was give some space, and time to myself, without any of the ducks popping in every so often to check on me. My thoughts drifted to Miles. What he was doing right now, was he doing ok without me? That last thought, made me realize, that I was, in actual fact doing ok without him. By no means did it mean I was no longer in love with him, because I was, and I suppose a part of me always would be, but the familiar ache, that always seemed to pop up when you broke up with someone, was no longer there. I had come to the conclusion, that we weren't going to get back together, without even realizing it.
The following day, I made my way down the stairs, where everyone fussed making sure I was comfy. Once I was sat down, I wasn't allowed to move for anything. At first it was nice knowing I didn't have to do anything, but toward mid morning, it was getting slightly irritating.
"Charlie, can I borrow you car"? I asked eventually.
"Wh… Why? What for"? He asked, panic written all over his face.
"To crash into another tree. What do you think". I replied sarcastically. "I'm gonna go to my moms for a bit, she still doesn't know about Miles, and I'd like to tell her before she finds out from him or someone else". I told them.
"I'll take you". Adam offered.
"I'm perfectly capable of driving a car you know". I replied. "Someone just give me your car keys now". I demanded.
Eventually Charlie gave his up, with an extremely worried look on his face. As I took the keys from his hand, I reached up with my other hand, and placed 2 fingers in the corners of his mouth and forced a smile there.
"Call as soon as you get there". Luis shouted.
"If any jerk gets too close to you, pull over". Portman forewarned.
"If you don't want to drive back, call us and we'll come get you". Fulton added.
"Anything else, like keep your hands at 10 and 2? DADS". I asked sarcastically.
"Don't talk back to us young lady, you're not too old to be put across our knees". Averman joked.
"Is that a threat or a promise". I joked back. "Don't worry, I'll be careful. See you later". I left the house before they could warn me about anything else.
As I drove, I was slightly nervous, more so when I came to the area I'd had the accident, but I was so determined that I wasn't going to have to call any of the guys. I soon settled though, realizing I was just being silly. Finally, I reached my parents, I knew my brothers were there, as both of their cars were parked in the driveway. My dad was in the driveway, washing the car, He waved to me, then shouted that he'd be in, in a few minutes. I waved back, and made my way up onto the front porch, before letting myself in.
"Hey, it's only me". I shouted, closing the door behind myself.
"AUNT CONNIE"! Carl's two children screamed, as the bounded toward me.
"Hey guys, how's it going"? I hugged the both in turn. They replied, then ran off again in the direction of the back garden.
"Hey Kid". Carl enveloped me into a tight hug. "Sorry to hear about Jules". He said softly. Neither he or Jamie had seen me since my anniversary.
"Me too". Jamie came up behind, hugging me just as tight as Carl had.
"Thanks". I mumbled, as I hugged Carl and Jamie's partners, then my mom.
I quickly rang Adam's cell and told him I'd arrived safely. He told I was to ring before I set off, just so that they'd know, I was on my way.
"Don't start the party without me". My dad shouted as he wiped his hands, then jogged into the hallway where we were all still stood. He too grabbed me into a hug, before leading me into the living room, where he sat at one end of the sofa, huddling me close to him.
"Why didn't you guys tell me you were going to be in town". I asked my brothers, who I now only saw every so often.
"We were going to come over to yours to surprise you". Jamie filled me in.
"Oh, it'd have been a surprise alright". I tried smiling. "And it wouldn't have been me that was surprised". This was it, I was going to drop the bombshell.
"What do you mean honey"? My mom looked at me, though I could tell by the look in her eyes, that she already had her doubts.
"Um, me and Miles, well we aren't exactly, me and Miles anymore". I admitted.
"What are you saying? You've what, separated, had a fight"? Carl asked.
"Separated". I answered.
"How long"? My mom asked.
"About 3 weeks". I answered, shamefully, knowing I should have told them weeks ago.
"3 WEEKS"! My mom stated, shocked. I think she was more shocked that she hadn't noticed. "Why"?
"There's a lot of reason's mom. We were both just going down different paths". I didn't want to give them all the details, that was just too much.
"He wasn't cheating on you was he"? Jamie asked, his voice slowly filling with venom.
Though both my brothers were protective of me, Jamie was more openly protective. Carl worried from afar, only stepping in, when he deemed appropriate, whereas Jamie was always a mile ahead of Carl in the 'stepping in' department. I was a mixture I suppose of them both, I was very openly protective of my loved ones like Jamie, yet I was able to protect from afar like Carl.
"No Jamie. Miles would never do that. We both love each other, but we just wanted different things".
Discussions continued, though thankfully, Carl moved us onto the topic of our next family meeting. Suggestions were made of a family barbeque the following week. Everyone agreed, then my dad decided to drop me in it, by asking whether I'd be free as I was 'supposed' to be working.
"Yeah, I'm free". I answered lightly, thinking that one bombshell was enough today.
"What don't tell me you've been fired too". Jamie joked, playing off my tone.
"Ha, ha Jamie, but yeah, you're about right".
I got up from the couch and wandered around the room, looking at the photo's my mom had placed around the room. I stopped at one in particular of me and Julie in our college graduation robes. Julie had always been like a second daughter to my mom, and I'm sure if I was to wander around the house I'd find a few more pictures of Julie, probably they all had me in too, but that was us, we were both inseparable.
"I didn't get fired. I quit". I admitted. "Jonathan gave me an ultimatum of my job or Jonah". I hadn't taken my eyes from the photo.
"But why did you have to choose between them anyway"? Carl asked.
"Because, since Julie died, I've been looking after Jonah". I turned, tears in my eyes. "Charlie wouldn't have anything to do with him. He wouldn't have anything to do with anybody. He's only just come round".
"I hope Charlie knows exactly what you've done for him. I bet your split with Miles is because of him too". Though my mom had known about Charlie not coping, it was as though she'd finally pieced everything together.
"No, mom, me splitting up with Miles hasn't got anything to do with Charlie. And I don't want him to know I quit my job because of him and Jonah. He's got enough to deal with right now".
"Why are you doing this to yourself Connie. Just because Charlie was struggling, there was no need to quit your job and put your own life on hold". My mom had tears in her eyes, and I suppose she was frightened that I was doing too much for them.
"Because I promised Julie I'd help him. She asked me, she asked me when she was dying to help him. She laid there and asked me this because she knew". I broke down in tears. "She knew he wouldn't cope. I promised, and I'm not breaking that promise". I walked out of the room, into the kitchen, where I leant against the sink, gripping it tightly.
"Baby". My mom gently placed her hand on my shoulder.
"I miss her mom, I miss her so much". I wept as I turned into her arms, and collapsed in tears.
"I know you do baby. I know you do". As she hugged my tightly back, and I knew she too was crying.
END FLASHBACK
It had felt good to let everything out that day. More so because it was my mom who, was the one that I was telling everything too. I eventually did tell her everything about my separation with Miles, and to be honest she wasn't really surprised with anything I said after that day.
So what do you think? PLEASE R&R!
