Disclaimer : I don't own nowt!
XSARAH : Arr bless ya. I'm real glad you enjoyed this chapter, and hopefully you'll like this chapter just as much. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!
KATIE : Arr don't be so hard on yourself, I know whether you review or not, that you'll read it at some point lol. I'm psychic you see, or is that psycho lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!
B : Glad you approve of the kiss lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!
MEME-ANN : You're not sad, cause if you were, what would that make me – super douper sad lol. I'm glad you approve of the whole Charlie/Connie thing lol. Can I just ask though? What's OTP? I'm that thick I can't work it out lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!
ANNA : I think you're actually the first, that has recognized Miles and Jonah from Nicholas Sparks lol. I love Bend in the road, I think that's got to be one of my favorite of his books. I love every single one up to date, though haven't read 'three weeks with my brother yet', but I think my main favorites would have to be 'the guardian', 'the rescue' and 'bend in the road'. The first few times I read 'the guardian' and 'the rescue', I actually cried, how sad does that sound lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!
C-CHAN96 : Don't worry about it, I'm not gonna hunt you down or anything lol. So this is gonna be a pretty long thank you thingy, cause I can't believe you've reviewed EVERY single chapter lol. Right so Review 1: I know writing Connie Ryan and Julie Conway was really weird, I kept wanting to write Moreau and Gaffney lol. Review 2 : Yea ain't she sweet with him, I love Jonah, I want a Jonah, even though I can't stand kids lol – they get on my nerves so bad lol. Arr don't worry, it's a nice death, if death can be nice lol. Review 3 : I'm pretty sure, already knowing the outcome is cheating, you know, but I'll let you off lol. Sounds like you bite your nails a lot lol, it's a bad habit you know lol, one that I also have lol. Review 4 : Yeah, you are pretty perceptive lol, or maybe it's cause you already know the outcome lol. Ah, so that's why you waited so long to read is it lol, so you could read it all in one lol, actually that's pretty good thinking lol. Review 5 : Truthfully, that's kinda where the idea came from. I didn't want it to be exactly the same, but wanted I to be similar, so I'm gad everyone seemed to find it ok lol. I'm glad you enjoyed the depressing parts so wonderful, I think lol. Review 6 : Glad you could find it in you to feel sorry for everyone lol, I couldn't decide who to feel worse for. I mean obviously Julie cause she's dying, but at least once she was out of the picture, she wasn't in pain anymore, so then I tried figuring out, who was in the most pain, but couldn't figure it out lol. Review 7 : I see you seem to be enjoying the rather depressing bits lol. I've never actually heard that expression 'chills with sadness', that's a new one lol. I'm glad Julie's death didn't shock you, I didn't want you to be too shocked by it, it might have spoilt the sadness lol. Review 8 : Actually while I was writing the whole Charlie having issues bit, I actually thought of you lol. I'm glad you still love him though, I couldn't stand it if I'd come between the worlds sweetest couple lol. Review 9 : I'm still struggling to believe you wrote 15 reviews all in one night lol. I don't think anyone at this point can help feeling sorry for Charlie, I definitely would lol. Oh yeah, I've come to accept you're a Charlie shipper and expect you stick with him no matter what lol. Review 10 : Arr I never realized how hard it might be for you to hear awful things about Charlie lol, but hey at least it's about Charlie right, I mean I could have easily made Guy or Adam or someone else take his position lol. Oh yeah, a smack up the side of the head is really gonna make him wanna stop drinking lol. But it might do though, cause if he's drunk, and you smack him, he wakes up with a headache, blames it on the alcohol instead of you lol. I think someone's wishful thinking there aren't you lol. Review 11 : Yeah I totally agree, I understand why Charlie's doing what he's doing, and that's why, I decided not to make him commit suicide – which had crossed my mind until I though NO, Chelsea will kill me lol. There's an awful lot of patting going on here lol. Review 12 : No, no, no, you are the one that's confused, it's ADAM that's the COOLEST, HOTTEST, GORGEOUSEST, BEST ever. He is, no arguments lol. I'm glad you have faith in Charlie's ability to be a good father, cause there was many a time, I wasn't so sure lol. Review 13 : Oh you knew did you, I bet ya did lol. Right well that's put me off the idea of making this a Connie/Adam, if you're gonna kick me lol. I'm sorry you're feeling the pain with Charlie, but I'm sure it'll give you something to talk about lol. I'm glad you've told me you adore this story, cause I was beginning to worry for a second there lol, only kidding lol. Glad you've got that trust I me, I'll have to try to redeem him for you, but it will be no easy task lol. Review 14 : Oh yes, You know I've missed writing this huge essay thank you thingy lol. Yeah, I'm always chuffed when you review, it makes me smile lol. Yes I will admit, you are the hugest Charlie fanatic I know, and I might allow myself to become a very close second, though Adam will always be my first lol. Yeah, I liked Connie's sarcastic reply to Charlie in this chapter, it sounded totally like I'd say to someone lol. Review 15 : I take it you approve of this chapter lol. I think that's my understatement of the year lol. I'm glad you think all the blood and sweat of writing 15 reviews in a row was worth it. When I was reading this review, I was actually bouncing around in my chair with you, how sad is that lol. I do have to admit, that at the beginning of this I was extremely tempted to make it a Connie/Adam, but then I thought God no, I've promised a Charlie/Connie, so here it is. I am actually planning another C/C, but not quite yet, I still have this and one more chapter left, before thoughts of my next story begin lol. I can't believe you stayed up while 1.30am, just to review, God you really are crazy lol, I'm surprised you didn't zonk out half way through lol. God this thank you thingy is HUGE, this'll have made you sleepy for sure lol. Anyways thank you SOOO much for reviewing ALL 15 chapters, you have no idea what it means to me. Anyways thanks for the support and REVIEWS. CHEERS MI DEARS!
MOSHIMORO6785 : Ahh, I like to shock people that way lol. I was however going to make it a Connie/Adam until I realized I'd promised Chelsea a Connie/Charlie lol. Anyways thanks for the support and review. CHEERS MI DEARS!
Chapter 16
Slowly I felt myself begin to drift into a gentle sleep. My husbands snoring had now stopped and unconsciously spooned me closer to him, where his breath warmed my neck, sending a tingling sensation down my spine. Just as I drifted further and further into my sleep, I heard a long loud wailing noise. Holly. I let out a heavy sigh, and got out of bed, before padding across the hall into her room. Holly had always been a pretty good baby, and woke up no more than twice a night, usually just after we'd got in bed then again about an hour before we got up.
"Holly, your timing sucks, just like your dad". I whispered, as I picked her up out of her crib.
As I rocked her gently, I could remember that night, when all I wanted to do, was sleep, but I had that much on my mind I couldn't. I remember pacing around in my flat until the early morning, trying to figure out why the hell I'd kissed Charlie.
After Holly settled, I went into Jonah's room, to check that he hadn't been awoken by Holly. He hadn't, he was in a deep sleep, his nose and mouth twitching every so often as he slept. I stood in the doorway for a few minutes just watching him as he slept. After a few minutes, I headed back to bed, where I eventually went to sleep.
FLASHBACK
I paced my living room, trying to figure out, why I'd kissed him. Why he'd kissed me. It made no sense. He was my best friends widower. It was like stealing her man, only worse because she wasn't here to stop me. He was my best friends husband, hell he was one of my best friends. What had possessed me to do such a thing. And the worse thing about it all, was the fact that I actually enjoyed it. God I hated myself right now.
I must have paced for another hour or so, trying to think why. Finally I decided that I wasn't going to come up with an answer, and tried to occupy myself, knowing I wouldn't get to sleep just yet. I remembered my mom had said Jamie had sent me an email. I immediately grabbed my laptop and plugged the phone line to it before logging on. There were a few emails in there. Mainly from the ducks, just wanting and giving updates. I ignored them, deciding to read them later. I found Jamie's email and opened it.
Hey Sis!
How is everything back home? I'm gonna ring mom and dad in a bit so I'm pretty sure mom will fill you in on everything so I'll not bore you to death with everything that's going on. Though I will tell you Europe has got to be one of the most beautiful places on Earth.
Anyway, my main purpose for writing is to tell you about this opportunity over here. There's this big photography company over here, wanting photographers to come over here for 3 months + to take pictures of Europe's greatest landscapes for this catalogue thing that they're wanting to produce. Only the best pictures are chosen. Well anyway, not many people know about it, but if some of your pictures are taken they pay you for them.
So me and Colleen were thinking that maybe you'd like to come over here, spend at least 3 months with us, all expenses paid. I've even taken some photo's of the best places in France to help persuade you. Let me know what you think? And not just about the photo's : )
Love Jamie and Colleen!
I couldn't believe it. A free trip to Europe for 3 months. This was like the opportunity of a life time. I quickly glanced at the photo's but I knew straight away that Jamie hadn't taken them. I think I knew straight away that I had to go. Europe.
I rang Jamie excitedly, telling him that I would definitely go, and that Colleen had taken some good photo's. We organized between us the details, such as flights, and hotels. It took less than an hour to have everything organized. Jamie was going to book the next flight for me, of which he'd let me know straight away when it was.
By the time I'd gotten off the phone with him, I was so excited, I could have screamed. The whole fiasco with Charlie was the last thing on my mind. Jamie rang me back not long after and told me, my flight was booked for 3 days away. We didn't stay on the phone long, and after I finally put the phone down, I dashed into my room, and began packing. I was allowed 2 suitcases, and though Jamie had said bring clothes for chilly and warm weather, I knew I'd have plenty of space, plus some for anything I bought whilst over there.
I must have finally fallen asleep about 4am, though I didn't sleep for too long. I was wide awake again at turned 7am. I knew I had to go and tell my parents, Adam and Charlie about my trip. Arhh, the thought of Charlie brought back the problem I had conveniently forgotten. I knew I had to face him at some point, and I suppose I knew it had to be today. Though my first stop was my parents.
It was still pretty early, by the time I got there, but I knew my parents were up. I headed inside, and gradually slipped my news into the conversation. My dad was happy for me, but my mom was slightly dubious, well that was until I told her I'd be staying with Jamie and Colleen, of which then she was almost packing my bags for me.
My next stop was Adam's. As luck would have it, I pulled up, just as he was picking the mail up from the mail box. He greeted me the same as he always did. Molly, his girlfriend was in the kitchen, making some breakfast, she shouted her greeting to me, but allowed us to have some privacy. She had always seemed to stay out of the way whenever she felt the need to.
"Um, I wanted to be the one that told you, um, I'm going to Europe for 3 months". I told him.
"Wow, that's great. When do you leave"? He was clearly very happy for me.
"Tuesday". I replied.
"Tuesday. As in this Tuesday"? He was a little shocked.
"I know, I know it's a little short notice, but Jamie's over there, and it's this whole photography thing that's happening over there".
"Have you told Charlie yet"? He asked.
"No, not yet. I only found out early this morning, and well frankly, I can't help but think he's not exactly going to be ecstatic about it". I admitted. "How do you think I'm best doing this"?
"Just tell him straight, like ripping off a band aid". He told me.
"Tell you what, can't you just do it for me. You're so much better at things like this". I replied, hoping he would agree.
"Connie, it's not going to be that bad". He answered.
"What about Molly, she's pretty tough"… I began.
"Connie". He stopped me. "Ok, he might not like the news, but he doesn't own you". He said softly. "You deserve this, you've done enough for us all, over these passed few years. It's about time he stood on his own two feet. It isn't as though he's alone, he's got me, and Molly, I'm pretty sure if it was anything major he could go to your parents. Sophie looks after Jonah as well. He can get along without you for 3 months".
"Fine, but if this turns into a full on Charlie tantrum, I'm calling you up". I answered, smiling slightly.
"And I'll come". He laughed gently.
We sat and talked for a few more minutes, until I decided I ought to get going. I quickly shouted my goodbye to Molly, who was concentrating on not burning the eggs, but she still managed to come and say goodbye. Adam walked me to my car, where he reminded me to stay strong, not give in to him, and to walk out if he got into one of his 'tantrums' as we called them. He then told me to let him know how it went, before finally letting me drive away.
On the way over, I practiced in my head what I was going to say to him. To be honest, I knew it was going to be made even worse, as we had to talk about last night. There was no way, we could just go back to normal, without even talking our actions out. If I was bluntly honest with myself, over the past few hours, I had begun to think that my feelings toward Charlie had changed, but then another part of me kept telling me they hadn't, and wouldn't.
Before I realized it, I was pulling into the driveway. I slowly got out, and headed up to the front door, dreading every step. I opened the door, to find Sophie just about to take Jonah to the park. He waved his hand to me as he went passed, but he was far too excited to greet me properly.
"Charlie". I said loudly, after I closed the door behind Sophie.
"I'll be there in just a second". He shouted back.
I headed into the living room, choosing to sit down, before I fell down. My legs were shaking rapidly, but God only knows why. I soon realized my legs shook more when I sat down and I got up, before wandering around the living room. On the window sill, there was a recent picture of me, Charlie, Jonah, Adam and Molly. We'd gone to the beach one day, and were stood on the pier when the photo had been taken. I was stood to the left with 3 year old Jonah in my arms, Charlie's arm was around my shoulders, Adam was stood beside Charlie, his arms around Molly. Looking at the picture I couldn't help but think how close we'd gotten.
"Oh hey, it's you, I thought it was Sophie". Charlie stopped in the doorway.
"Yeah, it's me". I turned round and half smiled at him. "Listen, we need to talk". I told him, feeling very awkward.
"Yeah, I know". He replied.
Neither of wanted to start, we both just stood looking at each other awkwardly. I daren't keep eye contact with him too long incase I saw something like hate there. Then the thought occurred to me, that maybe, he had been up all night, feeling as though he'd betrayed Julie, a much as I had.
"Look, about last night. I, we shouldn't have. It was a mistake. I was awake nearly all night, thinking about it". I admitted, biting the bullet once and for all.
"I was up too. I thought I had betrayed Julie in some way. I mean you were her best friend". He told me, stepping a little further into the room.
"Exactly". I agreed.
"But I'm not betraying her." He told me suddenly.
"What"! I was now confused.
"When Julie was in hospital, she told me, that one day I'd find someone else, and I was to hold on to them with both hands. She told me she didn't care who it was, as long as they made me happy, and that they loved Jonah". He admitted. "I'm not betraying her".
"No you're not betraying her by wanting to move on Charlie. Julie wanted you to do that more than anything".
"Connie, for the past few weeks, my feelings toward you"…
"No Charlie, please, please don't". I knew what he was going to say, and didn't like where this was headed.
"I have to. I don't see you just as one of my friends anymore". He came closer to me, and I intuitively flinched away. "I think I might be falling in love with you". He grabbed my arm and gently pulled me back to face him.
"You, you can't be". I was crying now.
"I am". He whispered, brushing a few strands of hair that had stuck to my wet cheeks away.
Slowly he leant down and kissed me gently. I was too stunned to do much else other than stand there. When he pulled away after a few seconds, his eyes were locked with mine. I was still crying, tears pouring down my cheeks like a raging river. I struggled to find my voice, so stepped back slightly.
"I, I can't. Charlie, I'm going to Europe". I muttered, trying my hardest to stop the tears.
"Europe"? I nodded. "When"?
"Tuesday". I answered.
"When, when did you decide this"?
"This morning. Jamie's offered me to go stay over there with him".
"Don't go. Stay here". He asked softly.
"I can't Charlie. I have to go". I backed further away from him.
"Is this because of last night and what I just said"? He asked.
"No, it's, it's just something I have to do". I admitted and it was the truth. "But I think we need some time away from each other".
"So you're running". He accused. "It's what you've always been best at. You run from every opportunity to be happy". He told me.
"That's rich coming from you". I snapped back.
"Fine, you go. It isn't going to change the way I feel".
"I never said it would. But I need this time to think everything through. I need some time for myself. I've been wrapped up in everyone else for the past few years, and I can't anymore". And with that, I left, tears continuing to pour down my cheeks.
I didn't know where to go. I didn't really want to go home and be alone, with the possibility of Charlie coming round. I didn't want to go to Adam's looking the way I did. If I went to my mom's looking the way I did, she'd only worry. I headed to the only place I knew I would get some peace and quiet. I went into the silent building, thankful that I was known by the entrance clerk. Within a few seconds, I was out there skating, taking all my frustration out on the ice. I just kept doing laps of the rink, not really paying attention to the time or how many times I'd been around.
"Take it he didn't take the news well"? I heard a voice from over by the penalty box. I turned to look who it was, to find Adam. I tried wiping at my cheeks, to rid of any evidence of my previous tears, that had still continued spilling my first few minutes on the ice. "What's he said? I'll kill him". He noticed my tear stained cheeks straight away and he backed away slightly.
"Adam no". I replied. "I wasn't crying because of what he said about Europe". I told him, immediately seeing the anger disappear from his face, and confusion replace it.
"Come and sit down". He guided me to the bleachers. "What happened"? He asked gently.
"Last night, when Charlie came home, when I left, we kissed". I broke down in tears again. "I didn't mean to, then this morning, when I went to tell Charlie about Europe, I knew we'd have to talk about the kiss, but he said he didn't regret it, and that he thought he was falling in love with me". I cried.
"An how do you feel about him"? He asked softly, wrapping his arms around me in comfort.
"I don't know. One minute he's a best friend, a best friend whose just lost his wife, then the next minute everythings different". I answered, more tears falling from my eyes. "I know things aren't the same between us like they used to be, but I don't know, I don't know whether I feel anything for him in that way, or whether it's just loneliness".
"Listen. Maybe this trip to Europe's come along at the right time. You both could do with sometime apart, you to figure out if what you're feeling for Charlie is love, and for Charlie to figure out whether he really wants to be with you, or whether it's loneliness".
I left about half an hour before the team practice, not really wanting to see Charlie again. I went to see Julie, knowing it was something I felt I needed to do. I sat beside her headstone, leaning slightly on the side, as I let the peace and tranquility that I always felt when I was there, wash over me.
"Hey Jules. I just thought I'd pop by for some advice. You always knew exactly what to do in every situation. I wish I were more like you. I never meant to betray you, it wasn't something I planned. But I do think I have some kind of feelings for Charlie. I don't know whether it's love, or just something else, but I do know things have changed between us. I can't help but feel as though I'm betraying you, he's your husband, and if you hadn't gone, I know he would still be with you. I don't know what to do Jules. No matter what, things can never go back to the way they were between us, Charlie's made that very clear". I spoke softly. "Anyway, um, this'll be my last visit for a while, because I'm going to Europe to see Jamie and Colleen for 3 months, and do this whole photography thing their doing over there. I promise, as soon as I come home, I'll come and see you and tell you all about it". I began to stand feeling a little better about everything. "See you soon. Love you". And with that I walked away.
The next day went by in a blur, I was trying to get everything ready for tomorrow. Honestly, I hadn't really given myself anytime to even think about the situation with Charlie. Maybe Adam was right, maybe, time away from him would clear my head a little. I slowly started to realized, that if I did have feelings for Charlie, I wasn't particularly betraying Julie, as, I knew she'd be happy if we were happy.
END FLASHBACK
The thoughts of betraying her stayed with me for quite some time. It was always in the back of my mind. Maybe it was because I always wondered, what would have happened if she'd still have been here, or if she could tell us what she thought, what exactly it would be.
So what do you think? PLEASE R&R!
