I'm glad Chaka, Cyran, and Kiki reviewed again. Yes, I am a sick and twisted individual. That's why I'm going to take over the Earth as soon as my army of evil Hell-Kittens is finished…BWAHAHAHAHAHA! (Temporarily regains sanity) Anyway, here's the new chapter.
Chapter 8: The Princess and the Dragon
A few minutes after his defeat, Seifer awoke to a splitting headache. "What the hell happened?" he groaned.
"Sephiroth beat your ass with a chicken head, that's what happened," Squall told him.
Zell's face turned red as he stared at Seifer, and the orange hair boy yelled, "What the fuck are you staring at, Chicken-Wuss?"
The tattooed fighter burst into gales of uncontrollable laughter, while Joey grinned and said, "You have two black eyes, and now you look like a raccoon!"
"SHUT UP!" Seifer yelled, causing Joey and Zell to laugh even harder.
"Hey, what's that?" Cloud asked, pointing up at the sky.
A gilded purple carriage pulled by two winged buffalo appeared and landed in the arena with a heavy thud. "Oh no!" Katz moaned, "They aren't supposed to show up yet!"
"Who are 'they'?" Sesshomaru wanted to know.
"The royal family. Princess Muumuu and King Dingaling are here."
"King WHO?" Mitsurugi gasped, while Nightmare snickered.
"You'll see."
The driver hopped down, opened the door to the carriage, and the king stepped out. He was a tall, imposing man, with broad shoulders and icy blue hair and eyes. He was dressed in snowy white clothes trimmed with countless tiny silver bells that tinkled whenever he moved. "Wizard!" Dingaling called in a booming voice, "How goes the tournament to decide who will wed my darling daughter, Muumuu?"
Katz bowed respectfully and replied, "Very well indeed, Your Majesty. I've already finished two battles, and am about to choose the fighters for the third."
"Good. You can continue the tournament and entertain Princess Muumuu at the same time, then."
"Uh…entertain?" the wizard was confused.
The king nodded. "Of course. Muumuu can watch her potential husbands fight while I take care of the affairs of state. Princess, come on out and meet the guys."
Princess Muumuu stepped out of the carriage, and everyone, with the exception of Katz and King Dingaling, stared at her. She looked like she was eighteen, but she was only the same height as an average seven year-old. She was pale, and her hair fell past her shoulders in a bubblegum pink cascade that perfectly matched her eyes and gown. Muumuu looked at all the captives with a haughty expression, and said, "Who the fuck are these losers?"
"Dear, one of these men is going to be your husband," Dingaling replied, quickly hopping back into the carriage. "Okay, wizard, I have complete faith in you, so good luck with your tournament."
With that, the winged buffalo quickly hauled the purple carriage away, leaving the guys to deal with the princess. Katz nervously cleared his throat and said, "Your Highness, let me introduce you to the guys."
The introductions were made, and the princess gave them all a frosty glare. "So, I'm supposed to marry one of you sorry bastards, huh?"
They stared mutely at her, and she continued to speak. "Well, I just want all of you to know that I'll be the one in charge, and all you have to do is sit there and look pretty, or whatever. There won't be any of that 'love, honor, and obey' bullshit, and if you don't like the way I do things, then that's just too damn bad! What the hell is your problem?"
Sephiroth had crept up close to the tiny princess and leaned down to stare into her pink eyes. He reached out, touched her face with one black-gloved finger, and shouted, "Ooh, Barbie! Poke!"
Suddenly, Muumuu caught the silver haired villain's hand in a viselike grip and slowly crushed it, causing him to wince. "Don't…fucking…touch me!" she growled, rosy eyes flashing in anger.
She released her hold on him, and he quickly backed away. "Now, I'm going up into the stands to take a nap, and if any of you pricks touch me again, I'll snap your damn arm off! Do you understand me?"
They all nodded, and the princess strolled off, her back straight as a board. "Man, that girl is a real bitch!" Yugi said, shaking his head in disbelief.
"Yeah…" Katz sighed, "Isn't she great?"
"I think we need to take him to see a shrink when this is over," Kilik muttered to himself as Mitsurugi and Nightmare huddled close to him.
"Uncle Kilik, that lady is SCARY!" the samurai whined, trying to hide.
"I…I'm not scared!" the dark knight cried, shaking in fear. "I'm just cold, that's all."
The wizard finally snapped out of his reverie, and brought out his magic hat. "Okay, it's tine to start the next battle."
He pulled out two more slips of paper and quickly opened them. "The fighters for the next match will be…Kaiba and Tidus."
The blitz star grinned evilly, anticipating an easy victory, but Katz quickly shattered that illusion. "This battle is going to work a little bit like the Duel Monsters game," he said, a deck of cards appearing in his hand. "You'll each draw one card, and whatever monster you get will be your sole defender. You can use your weapons, but only if your monster has been destroyed, and you lose if the monster kills you, of course. Now, draw your monster and get ready to fight."
Tidus and Kaiba both picked a card, and the wizard transported everyone else back into the stands. The blitz player gave the hacker a jaunty salute, and said, "Go, Celtic Guardian!"
An elven warrior in green and brown armor appeared, and brandished his broadsword, while Kaiba raised an eyebrow. "Not bad, Blondie," the hacker's lips twitched in a slight smile, "But it's not good enough! Go, Blue-Eyes White Dragon!"
A huge, silvery-white dragon with sapphire eyes appeared, and let out a deafening roar. The dragon's eyes glowed, and a burst of blue-white lightning erupted from its jaws, instantly incinerating the Celtic Guardian. Tidus barely managed to get out of the way, and gulped once he saw the smoking crater where his elf once stood. "Oh man, that really sucked! I guess I'll have to take that lizard down the hard way."
He whipped out his sword, Caladbolg, and charged the Blue-Eyes. The young athlete slashed the dragon several times, before kicking a blitzball at it, but the legendary monster just stared at him. "Why didn't my attack work?" Tidus groaned when he saw the ineffectiveness of his assault.
"You need a Piercing weapon to get through its armor, you idiot!" Auron yelled from his seat in the stands.
"Oops…"
Kaiba began to laugh maniacally and shouted, "Go my great dragon! Show him your true power!"
The Blue-Eyes White Dragon let out another roar, and caught Tidus with another blast of lightning, burning him to ashes. Then, the dragon stomped all over the burnt cinders that remained, and bellowed in triumph before disappearing. Katz sent everyone back to the arena and Kaiba handed him the card. "It looks like I won," the hacker said, smiling because of the easy win.
The wizard put his Duel Monsters cards away, and raised his hands to resurrect Tidus. "Wait, what are you doing?" Auron asked.
"I'm going to bring Tidus back. Why, is there a problem?"
"Yeah, he'll whine for the rest of the tournament."
"Well, what do you suggest I do?"
The swordsman shrugged. "Send him back to Spira, I guess. He's supposed to go look for Yuna, anyway, so there's no point in keeping him here."
"You really don't like him, do you?" Vincent asked, while the little mage sent his ashes away.
"I like him, but he's an annoying little bastard," Auron replied.
…
Far away, in some distant sea, Tidus reappeared, surrounded by a group of pyreflies. He opened his eyes with a smile and quickly swam toward the surface, where someone he loved was waiting.
Yes, I know that Princess Muumuu is a bitch. She's supposed to be. I know I probably disappointed all the Tidus fans out there, but I think he's annoying, and this is my story, so there! (Sticks out tongue) At least I didn't turn him into a shoopuf the way I did Seymour! Anyway, review, and I promise not to send my Hell-Kittens to your house.
