Gandalf's Camera

Gandalf snuck around the corner. "Oh, yes..."

He snapped a picture and slunk away.

Pippin's head turned. "What was that?"

"What?" asked Diamond (his wife).

"I thought I heard something," said Pippin. He shook his head. "Nah, nevermind."

"DWAAAAH!" yelled Gandalf, for that was his secret mating call.

"DWAAAAH!" came an answering yell by Lord Elrond himself. "Gandalf! We must take more pictures!"

"Some may call us picture-happy," muttered Gandalf, "But they will get their comeuppance! They will soon see the wrath of Gandalf! I shall take embarassing pictures of them and post them up all over Rivendell!"

"Or," said Elrond, "You could use them as blackmail!"

Gandalf rubs his chin and ponders for a few hours.

Meanwhile...

"You know what I think, Pip?" asked Merry, as Pippin walked up to him.

"No, not really," said Pippin, "Your mind works in strange and mysterious ways."

"I know," said Merry, smiling. "Anyway, I think Gandalf and Elrond are an item."

"WHAT? Are you insane???" said Pippin. "It's obviously Aragorn and Frodo."

Merry stared at Pippin. "Now that's just plain wrong."

"Well it's better than GANDALF and ELROND!!!" shouted Pippin.

Merry lunges at Pippin's throat. "NOW YOU MUST DIE!!!"

"Oh shut up," said Pippin, "You're just jealous that I have better deodorant than you do."

"No you don't!"

"Everybody knows that mine's as fresh as a summer breeze," boasted Pippin.

"Well mine's as crisp as a winter morning," argued Merry.

"Gandalf, I think someone suspects," Elrond observed, "It's the little ones."

"Now we shall take EMBARRASING PICTURES OF THEM!" shouted Gandalf, very overexcited.

"Calm down, calm down," soothed Elrond.

"Time to kick some hobbit feet!"

Two Hours Later...

Merry and Pippin were sitting in the grass outside of Lord Elrond's bedroom, trying to catch site of Gandalf and Elrond together.

"Pip, I've got the biggest booger ever stuck up my left nostril."

"Eeeew, thats disgusting TMI!" shouted Pippin.

"Tasty mucous inside?" Merry asked "Pippin I never knew..."

"NO! NO! Too Much Information," said Pippin.

"AAAAAAAAH I cant get it out I cant get it out, itsstuck itsstuckupthere!" yelled Merry. "Help me, Pip,"

Pippin scrunched up his nose in disgust, while unwillingly sticking his finger up Merry's left nostril.

"I cant find it Merry. Left or right?" Pippin asked.

"DWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

"OH no its GANDALF!" screamed Merry with Pippin's finger still halfway up his nose.

Gandalf snaps a picture then runs away shouting his mating cry all the while.

Pippin removed his finger from Merry's nose.