CHAPTER 3:KARRASS

>Soooo....>

Karrass sat on an overhanging ledge watching the cool water lap half way up his calves. He listened to the insects buzz and the moved his legs. He loved the deeper sounds of water when it moved more slowly. He always lost himself around water. It was so easy to fall into and always pressed so close. He knew that it was strange, but he had given up on trying to explain it to the rest of the world long ago. They said that it was unnatural, that he was unnatural. It was the same with his father and look what he turned out to be, they whispered.

>Have a care, Karrass, and tell me what's weighing so heavy on your mind before I completely lose mine,> Tahaylik, his shorm, prompted his back impatiently.

>Wha? Oh, it was fine...>

>What was fine? I didn't ask you anything,> Tahaylik said kicking the ground.

Karrass turned and fixed Tahaylik with a withering stare. >Don't do that. I was distracted is all. There's no need to snipe.>

Tahaylik, not phased in the least, shot back, >Well, pay attention. I don't like being ignored any more than you like being held in contempt.>

>My bad. I just haven't had enough time to reflect on my day is all,> he said holding up both hands. Tahaylik was always puzzled by these gestures, but he let is slide. He knew that questions made Karrass uncomfortable.

They had been the best of friends upon entering the academy. They were still friends after Karrass dropped out and found work on the base. There should have been a social chasm between them a mile wide and an inch deep, but Tahaylik considered them equals. After all, he had no family to recommend him, so they both stood to gain the same in life as far as he was concerned. The fact that Karrass still had his mother was of little importance, but everyone still remember Jahar as a decent and kind woman and that helped to smooth the ground between them.

>Tell me about it. I can help you mull it over.>

>When have you ever been any good at thinking, not to mention mulling?>

>I don't have to think, I know already,> Tahaylik said proudly.

>So you think...>

>I don't think, I know,> Tahaylik insisted. He knew it was coming. He had set it up, knowing it would make his friend more amiable. Wait for it...

>I don't think you know either,> Karrass replied grinning. It was their oldest joke; it had forged the bond of their friendship that first day of academy training.

>Ha. Ha ha ha.>

Karrass turned to face his shorm. He was feeling much more amiable now. >Take a guess and we'll see how much you know.>

>It was a giiirrlll,> Tahaylik sang out, teasing like they had when they were young.

>Keep going.>

>She was the prettiest girl in the nine systems.>

Karrass smiled and chuckled. >One more time and I'll tell you all about her.>

Tahaylik closed his eyes and attempted to look sage-like. >She ran into you on the base and knocked you over. You helped her up and words were exchanged. She thought you were attractive and you felt like it was only because she didn't know who you were.>

Karrass stared dumbly. Then he shook his head with a smile and a sigh. >That's cheating. You should have just told me you were there instead of dissembling.>

>I wanted to drag it out of you, but you proved too difficult this time. Am I right on or what?>

>Dead center. I was doing a job for Ithileran, the "assistant to the HPC," because he is so important that he couldn't be bothered with his job. I was delivering a message to Lirem and she ran straight into me.> Karrass turned again to the water. The moons were beginning to rise. They cast a pallor over the landscape and reflected brightly off of the glassy surface of the pond. She shook me up. I move around so much, that I don't meet many people. It's like fate literally threw her at me. That's how strongly I felt. I usually feel so alone, but. . ..>

Tahaylik shifted and watched the grass gloss over in silvery and faintly red light. By Andalite standards, he was not attractive. Too tall, too thin, he could think of a litany of features that didn't inspire. Attempting to lighten the mood, Tahaylik said, Am I invisible? Because if that's the only special ability I get for putting up with all of the crap I catch from you, I'm not interested in rescuing from your loneliness any longer.>

>Shut up,> Karrass said as he pitched a clump of grass in Tahaylik's general direction. >Even you have managed to procure a bride. No family would ever take me.>

>Yeah, in about three years,> Tahaylik protested.

>You're three years younger than I am,> Karrass said quietly.

>Besides,> Tahaylik chose to ignore Karrass's last remark, >it's not like I know what she looks like or her name or anything at all that matters. I just hope she isn't disappointed with me.>

>She won't be. You're a good man and you already care about her whether you'll admit it or not. No, don't argue. You already think of her happiness. Consideration and respect are the founding principles of love.>

>Love isn't important–>

>No, it's everything. Even if you two hate each other, it's more than I'll ever have. Anyone that gets too close to me is immediately guilty by association. No respectable female will want to be legally tied to the son of the greatest military blunder since Seerow. My father is the scourge of the universe and I'm the one that takes the brunt of the people's anger. The fact that I exist is irksome. They wish that all traces of Alloran were gone so that they could just destroy him and have done with the entire affair. It's only by the grace of widows and orphans that the electrolate has let him live. I think there would be a riot if they gave the order to knowingly destroy one more family when there is already so much hurt and pain as is. I wish that they would just do it. He's never coming back. It wouldn't be worth it to come back and face the people.> He spoke heatedly and had to stop to breathe. His emotions had run dangerously high and he needed a moment to calm himself.

>He was known as a great strategist before. . ..>

>Before what? His name was dirt long before they started calling him the abomination. It started after he survived the revolt on the Yeerk homeworld, when the rest of his task force was slain. After the Hork-Bajir incident, there was no redemption whatsoever. He told me about it, you know. The council on war ordered him to release the virus and take the blame. They said that it would be worth his while . . . that he could come home and stay home after the scandal died down. It never did, he never came home, and that's all they care about. I think that their intention was to rid themselves of the Yeerk invasion of that world and the witnesses to it in one fell swoop. All of the men on that mission were supposed to die. That's why the truth about the whole situation came out after the fact. It wasn't even the truth! If all had gone according to plan, we probably would still be in the dark about the entire situation.> So much for calm.

>That kind of talk is treason, Karrass. I would guard my thoughts if I were you. They think you're a threat. You're angry, rebellious, and insubordinate.>

>Yes, why shouldn't I let the people lead me into the same trap that they set for Alloran? After all, it would be grand to see me fall. It would be a legacy of failure just as sure as Elfangor's legacy of heroism,> he said with a sneer.

>I can't hear any more of this as a loyal citizen. I hope you understand.>

>I'm sorry. I wouldn't want to compromise you. . .. Why can't it ever be about me though? Why can't I be Karrass and not Alloran's whelp?>

>Maybe it can be. All you have to do is to make the effort to be personable. People don't judge as readily as you think. I know that you don't want to hear it, but you have to try because you're the one who has the problem.>

They regarded each other in silence for a while. >Start with the girl,> Tahaylik prompted gently. >Even if nothing comes of it, you will still have made a connection to someone. It will get easier to accept people if you keep their company. Who knows, maybe sharing your life with others will lighten some of that emotional baggage you carry around.> With that said, Tahaylik turned to go. He felt both strangely relieved and saddened to finally have confronted his friend.

>Tahaylik . . .>

>Hmm?>

>Thanks.>

The full color of night obscures their features, but each of the friends knows that the other is smiling in the half-light.